₦airaland Forum

Kudos to the young man


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Erums:
.. In her fathers name

Hmmmmmm.

Na true you talk

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When will Naija men brace up a little

Not all women are designed to be doormats.. If you want a help mate then be ready to settle for someone who is accomplished in her individual space but willing to form a partnership.

As much as the men are the head, the women are the neck... We all know what happens if either is unhealthy.

Otherwise get a mgbeke from the villa...
Disclaimer..... The mgbekeism lasts for a few years depending on variables such as ability to imbibe surrounding socio-cultural slants



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Would expect a bit more pragmatic forward thinking and action


Your association should be able to raise funds from within, to invest in future paradigm shifts not waiting for handouts from the Northern governors....

Rather than all this shalaye!!!



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izito:
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In 2016 she told me her salary was #50.000 And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only #5000 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”

I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.

One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. #400,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?

I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”

She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine. 

The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.” 

We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?”  He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”


My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”

Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”

I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property…her father’s name.”

I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions. 

*What's your take?*

Things happen.

Not a good reason to divorce
Let her learn her lesson
You should actively also invest for yourself and children.. Can borrow a leaf from her as she seems to be the hustling type.

Look from the prism of her trying to build for the future if there was to be a strange turn of events.


Keep the love


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Interesting but very unfortunate.


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yanabasee1:
Those who prayed for Nigeria...Your prayers are answered...But do not relent...
I don't trust Aisha either... She's been fighting very strong to head the cabal herself... Who knows what her agendas are? ...

Looking to siphon away loot to support her family for a few generations.

yanabasee1:
Those who prayed for Nigeria...Your prayers are answered...But do not relent...
I don't trust Aisha either... She's been fighting very strong to head the cabal herself... Who knows what her agendas are? probably to make ways to become the next president......

Naija, the grassroots that is.... is not ready for a female president, definitely not one who has been soiled by walking those corridors of power. In addition, she does not appeal to the intelligentsia... A definite double strike against any such ambition.

yanabasee1:
The meeting that took place between Yaradua's wife with both Aisha and Patience Jonathan is a plot...And will soon be revealed...

Amen to that.

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Can't achieve much with this bill other than senseless witch-hunting....

Slowly spiralling into a dictatorship.

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Sinach!!

Dexpro:
Yes. It can be recovered. And don't be bothered about the comments above saying it will cost you more.

Firstly, get the account number the funds were transferred to.

Go to any magistrate court, make sure you see the registrar. Give him/her the full story. TELL THEM YOU WANT A COURT ORDER. You will pay for this court order. 10% of the money to be recovered.

You probably will get the court order tomorrow. When you have it with you, do a photocopy and serve the original to the bank your dad's monies were transferred. I'm pretty sure the branch manager will PND the account.

Now, go to any police station, meet with the DPO. Just tell the constables at the counter you have a document for the DPO.

At the DPOs, explain the entire situation and tell him you want A POLICE REPORT. You will most likely be connected to the state CID department. Meanwhile, details of the fraudulent transfer would have been collected from you. Rapport with the CID personnel. When you have Police Report, photocopy and serve the bank the original.

You and your dad should visit his bank and put things back in order coz the account is already compromised. When.you get to the bank, they'll put you through.

The account that hosted your dad's money will be blocked and put on lien. Any amount that comes in will be held and can not be withdrawn.

The account owner, will be picked up. He'll lead the police to the person that made the transfer.

All of these can happen, this week.

Thank you sir!


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To all the self-acclaimed converters.....

Hope y'all know there's fluidity with sexuality..

One of the reasons there's quite a bit of misunderstanding about the LGBTQ+ narrative.


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Amitez:
Lagos is Bini territory, Edo wu odion! So those planning Oduduwa republic should please leave Lagos alone. We do not want fulani to ovetall our land by confusing us with some miscreants and self-seeking illitrates claiming a republic without a standing army, constitution, etc., just public address systems. Anytime these confusionist come near Lagos, we the Lagosians will drive to the lagoons. They should know that we do not have any refugee camps in case fulanis goes on offensive with them, because of what history taught us about them

When the time comes,we Lagosians will decide whether to align with any of the new nations or remain with one Nigeria.

So, please you people should advise all those agitators to focus their attention on Ife and other Oduduwa states, afterall, oduduwa does not know any place called Lagos or Eko. Meanwhile, we implore all our Lagosian people to go about their businesses unmolested.

Eko onibaje ooo!

Must be very high on poor quality weed!!

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HonNL:
NJC

Is this quota system representation yet again??

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Fake or real tattoo, I'd like to know..


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Thought it was an open marriage



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Interesting times ahead...


Can see law suits screaming Infringement of human rights or at best discrimination...

Why just bankers, why not other professionals??

Though I can perceive the reasoning behind this move, It's rather excessive, repressive and stinks of a totalitarian regime

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thebosstrevor1:
Pls shows us the government data were it is written that they send 24 billion dollars annually

Central Government is not organised enough to have such perennial data..
They only organise kwaruption, dish out poorly crafted policies which impoverish the suffering masses.


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Mrscarter:
It only takes a couple of weeks to heal dwn there after a baby.

Depends on the extent of the trauma.. Some take longer.


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Reex12:
I bleeped a bitch and ghosted her the next day, I couldt even remember her name thereafter, c-somtin, whatever, I threw her outta my house, stupid hoe kept buzzing my line, i didnt even bother

I guess I can call it a one night stand

Man, y didn't you just fess up..
If she was game, she'd have jumped you..
This is why the chicks think badly of chaps.

Blurred or crossed lines


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Great development.

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Kraze get different levels and different names!!


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Wittyglam:
Have a round table discussion with her, I know most women believe it's the duty of a man to finance all their needs but their money is not his business which is wrong. She can contribute by buying little things but it all depends on your foundation, how did you start this relationship? Are you both completely honest with each other?

Hit the nail on the head!!

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WowSweetGuy:
omo see gifts. Lucky girl

Since i was born i have never received a bday gift except Maybe my 1year old bday

Some of those boxes are empty.


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This is poor coming from Zainab Ahmed

Thought she could do better than Kemi,

But its been 1 anti - social bill or development after another.
Only a stooge to bend over to the master's caprices... Nothing progressive.



Well done SERAP...
Hopefully this will checkmate the government's yahooboi format.



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HBD to the talented and pretty woman.


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She is 'developing' Bali...


Can't believe I've joined in this..


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NaijirianKing:
The problem is the propaganda, Fulani are peacefully residing in forests and selling cattle to the people of the SW, however due to tribalism, empty forests have now become the topic of contention.

Herders only attack when they have been attacked. When in history have these herders attacked first. The problem is that the media only covers reprisal attacks done by the Fulani but doesn't cover the hundreds of Fulani who have lost their lives in the SW, without even so much as an apology from those governors.

We are one Nigeria and Nigerians must have the right to live and work anywhere in this great nation.

100's of Fulani...

Where.. Where is the evidence to support your assertions

Selective amnesia is slowly becoming wide confabulations...


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NaijirianKing:
If every tribe thought as tribalistic as you Dangote, a Fulani man, is employing thousands of people in the SW and even building Africa's largest refinery in the SW, ignoring tribe and region.

But to accept ranching, you are threatening war, where is your sense of fairness and justice?? Such tribal sentiment will force Fulani to think twice before investing in the SW... a word is enough for the wise... Fulani never forget injustice.

You demonstrate selective amnesia...

Dangote invested in the South not out of sentiments but from a pragmatic business approach. His market is largely here, the ports are in good proximity for exports to other West African cities and also well located for receiving crude..

So as an astute business man, he's invested in the South not for any patriotic - - 1 kneejayriaa concept.

You want ranching... Then sort out major compensation for all the families that have been decimated in the middle belt, with villages being renamed after repopulation by unknown elements.
Sort out compensation for all the kidnapping and murders of innocent citizens going about their business in the SW and SE

Hold your people accountable and mete out due punishment to those who err...


And then maybe this Kneejayriaa might start to look like the Nigeria we pray for..

Till then stop ranting victim hood mentality poetry online!!!


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Strong links to Benin monarchy


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Rugaria:
Even at that , at 2.1 billion per kilometer, this is far above the 238 million per kilometer as stated by the world bank..
Let's not do violence to facts here; this very contract is outrageously alarming! This is not an APC vs PDP issue. This is indefensible!
This project is nothing but a monument to kleptomania..

Completely agree...

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Ranching deal gone to the dogs

Have some integrity and drop the idea, Mr Fayemi please.

Thanks


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