₦airaland Forum

@ all the ladies saying they don't mind if the husband stays at home, i hope you'll still be able to say that after 5 years of marriage, 2 kids, school fees, house rent, car maintenance et al and still speak to your husband with respect.

@ all the men who don't mind sitting at home, i hope if after 2 years you ask for 1000 naira pocket money and she gives you the story of your life and how she's up from 5am-12midnight to ensure that you have a roof over your head, you won't give her a dirty slap.

I cannot get married to a lazy man. The bible says a man that cannot provide for his household is worse than an infidel. My man can work from the house, good and fine. If he works from the house and has the time to pick the kids from school and prepare dinner if he sees i'm running, then beautiful. But to seat down, sleep, wake up and wait for teefah to give him money to buy cigarettes, sorry for him. Although its a different scenario if he losses his job due to downsizing or whatever.

To all you guys out there, don't ever plan to sleep and collect pocket money from your wife just because she works at UN. Even if at the end of the month, you make just 10% of her monthly salary, keep the job & be good at it. That way you earn your respect. If you cannot afford to pay the children's fees, buy little pressents for them, show that you are still the daddy. Else they will turn you to that uncle who lives in our house.

Long courtship does not guarantee happy marriage. i know a couple that dated for close to 9 years but the marriage barely survived the 1st yr. What even made it last that long was because the lady was pregnant. Few months after the baby she moved in with her parents and everyone was expecting that the matter will be settled amicably but it never happened. Today about 10 years later both are happily married to different persons.

I dated my husband for 4 yrs, but it took him less than 6mts to propose to me.

I think a courtship of btw 6 & 18mts is ideal, that is, if its not a long distance relationship. In a long distance relationship, 18mths might mean seeing the guy just 3 to 4 times.

This scripture keeps me going and strong day by day:

"all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."- Rm 8:28

Hotstepper:
SMART is more like a common senseeeee

Thank you Hotstepper. I wonder why people don't agree that there is a difference btw intelligence and smartness. Oh maybe i should say common sense, like Hotstepper. I don't know how else to explain this but the two are different though they seem very similar.

Questions for you:
- How can someone who is not smart get a first class in a Nigerian university? Cheating?

Monsieur administrator its quite obvious you don't know the difference between intelligence and smartness. It is very possible for someone to make a 1st class, even be a professor without cheating and not be smart, not all intelligent people are smart. Find out.

Smart people make the management team, they run the show while the intelligent ones do most of the work and the research. The intelligent ones talk theory, the smart ones talk life-real life therefore they rule. They know their onions. I take you to be smart 'cos of what you've made out of Nairaland and i can understand that you are not intelligent enough to know the difference between the two or to understand what i've written.

I never said my friend does not respect the husband, infact i respect him because of the way he ensures his family is well taken care of but a fat pay cheque still does not make him a smart guy you can expect to carry an intelligent conversation with except if the topic of discourse engineering.

The igbo business man in Yaba is smart enough to know how to turn 100k into 500k but he's not intelligent enough to understand stocks and shares.

Do you get the drift

You're Married To A Guy/girl That's Not Smart

Hello all, what will you do if you find yourself married to a guy/girl that is just not smart. Not that he/she is not intelligent, might even have made a 1st class, but u know some people r just not smart in the basic things of life. If they are not taught something in school, they just can never know it, probably because they are too straight to read novels, surf the web or just pick information along. What will u do if you end up with a spouse like that.

Where will you start from. I have a friend who is so classy but i wonder what she ever discusses with her hussy 'because they r so different. He's a nice guy et al, but i just see him as so slow. Like you will have to explain why US has a president and Britain has a Prime minister.

So ladies out there what will u do, the ideal hussy, nice well paying job, good at his job, but is not smart & therefore is a dull.

Guys you too, lovely wife, takes care of the house, you and the kids, 1st class product in university but she just can't hold an intelligent conversation with your guys except they are talking physics and chemistry.

I think this is really the best thread ever. I started from the first page down to where it is now. I've been married for close to 2yrs now with a lovely baby boy but that story will come later.

@ Princess
My dear, spouse abuse is a very serious issue. I can't tell u to leave ur man but i'll tell u my mum's story.

She endured abuse from my dad for over 20yrs, precisely 23. Why did she endure it for that long? She endured because she kept thinking "What will i do", "how will i take care of my children", "what will PEOPLE say", "he's going to stop", "this is the last time i'll take it", etcccccc. She kept living in an illusion. The worst thing is that whenever my dad is angry, the whole house, every memebr of the family, is in trouble. He will beat everyone, from mother to children.

But you know what, at the end of the day, that thing she dreaded most happened. He beat her to a comma & she left the marriage & she will tell you that its the best decision she ever made in her life. I'm also glad she eventually saw reason and left him 'cos if not i'm not sure she will be alive today. She's alive today and happy. She even succeeded in training 3 children all through higher institution on her own. I'm very proud of her & i don't regret ever supporting her to leave my dad.

Although i've forgiven my dad, & even call him & send things to him from time to time i'm glad they are now apart. If they decide to come together today i will support it 'cos he is really a different person now, he's even born again. It took a divorce to bring him to his senses.

So dear, the decision is yours to make. Stay till you are abused to death or run for dear life till he comes to his senses( u do not have to divorce him immediately, a seperation might do the magic).

Whatever you do, i wish you the best.

Be fervent in prayers. The Holy Spirit will direct you onto the best path. I'll also say a prayer for you.

drop little lovely notes in his car, suit pockets,etc

Can't even begin to imagine it. But i definately won't pack my bags or sleep with his driver. I believe there are more matured ways of dealing with this things. I will definately need to get out of the house to clear up my head and think of what to do but i will not pack my things. If she wants my man, i will not hand him over on a platter of gold.

i want 2 kids, a boy & a gal. I've got the boy & i hope to have the girl by, 2007.
Nuru, if u mean what u wrote, i won't mind to know all about it b4 trying 4 my gal.

Salaries for a fresh graduate ranges btw 15k-150k. If u are lucky to get a job that pays above 40k you are one of the lucky few and the envy of ur peers.

After service year, i got a job that paid 15k, this means that as a corper i was better paid, i earned 17.5k as a corper (fed govt+organisation). From this i got another job that pays 40k and i had a long list of graduates begging to take my place at the 15k job. Note that the 15k job does not come with any benefit.

I have a friend that earns 10k a month as a graduate but will never leave the job cos in a good month she makes over 250k as 1% commission on sales and in a bad month, she goes home with just 10k.

Hi alheri, thanks

Hi everyone, i'm teefah & i'm new hia. Hope i'm welcome to d house, its looks really cool.
Ciao