₦airaland Forum

ROYH:
chai, my Broda, U Just Make Me Laugh Today, No Lele.... *thinking like an adult* so seting me ablaze call 4 celebration, my body is made of water, any unholy fire sent upon me shall remain on Unfire In Name Of .... ABEG WHO GO COMPLETE AM 4 ME

Elzak:
of course me

Mrlemuel:
Calm Down Boi, Calm Down... *dials phone* Theblessedman, Can U Pls Kindly Bring A Keg Of Petrol And Lighter? Today Is Royh's Burnday O, Make We Celebrate Am, Tell Tgold1 To Bring 2 Tyre And A Bottle Of Dry Gin Along O, So That We Go Anoint Royh Bazooka...
Royh, I Wish U Many More Blessed Sweet Puccis To Bleep. Amen.

TheBlessedMAN:
oya... I don dey expect u tehtey.,.. Make una quick komot dat ur dirty play pant, make we run finish diz boko people

ROYH:
*rush here, furious mode...
Calling Tgold1 On Phone: Dude, You No Know Say Today Na My Bornday Abi, Well, Kindly Place A Call To Theblessedman, Tell Him That I Said He Should Call Mrlemuel And Make Lemuel Also Call SmartestPopQueen, Make All Of You Cum Stoodown With Una Hands On Your Back... UNA GO RECEIVED PUNISHSENSE TODAY...*

TheBlessedMAN:
this is the epitome of hatered and hateblue.. Why people especially ladies and gay's dey prosecute me ontop diz issue na......... I go go kill my self o.. I say am sorry na.. Or u wan make i go beg Tori ni?

Elzak:
that's also an encouragement

DaVinci24:
September-Monday

First of all, let me set something straight. This book is a journal, not diary. I know it reads 'Diary' on the cover. Maybe mumsi didn't hear me. She was the one who went out to get it. I specifically told her not to buy a book that said 'Diary' on the front.

Great. All I just need now is for my classmate to catch me carrying this fancy book around. I can only imagine the scene. They would instantly get the wrong idea.

"Wetin be this?" asked a top heavy guy as he tried to make sense of the volume. His friend, a maniac was just laughing like a jackass.

"Na diary. But guy, why you carry diary? You nor fit buy journal. Diary na for the sisters na."

"What a sissy, you disgrace boys everywhere" said the guy before clubbing me on the head. I held my cranium as I relished the pain.

So you can see that's not a good idea. Before you get any ideas, this wasn't my idea. I nor plan for this. This diary thing was mumsi's idea. Women don't normally grow goatees but she will if she thinks I will start writing down my feelings. Doing 'Dear Diary' this and that. I'm going to write in the journal but don't expect that.

The only reason I agreed to do this is for when Baba God picks my call in the future. I will be needing this book in the future when I become famous. When I rich and all those boys dey hail. People will be asking questions.

"Mr Bright! Tell us all about your childhood?"

"Were you always this bright and beautiful?"

Instead of answering stupid questions, I would give it to the press and tell them to shoo away. But not for free sha. You see my parents are from the east. So you can see that this is also a business idea in progress.
Like I said, I will be rich and famous one day. As for now, I never write WAEC. I'm still stuck in secondary school. Me and these moronic bunch. The person who invented secondary school deserves some kerplunking. Imagine, young students are overshadowed by those gorilla men who still dey wear uniform. And people wonder why bullying is a major issue in schools. If I was in charge. I would try setting the classes by height. But that means someone like Timi Johnson would still be in JS2 instead of SS3.

My name is Bright Ujambi. Most of my classmates think my name, Bright is an irony. Today school resumes for the first term. My dad drove his car and dropped us off. Me and my brother, Jerry who I really despise. We went to the boot of the car and took our bags in style. The really problem with these bags is wearing them. You should see what we looked like after years of wearing them. Teachers give too much homework.
Na wa. You should see how excited the students of Sure Bet Secondary School were to be back after the holidays. But not me, please.

Soon we were all seated in the classroom waiting for the teacher to finish making the register. There is always that one teacher who everybody hates and that was the man we were getting for our last year in the school, Mr Babs popular called The Commando for the manner with which he take down students. We are waiting so lemme write in this book.

By the way, let me give you some good advice. Omo, on the first day of school, you have to be real careful where you sit on! You walk into the classroom and just plunk your nyansh down on any old chair and the next thing you know the teacher is saying—

"I hope you like your seat and seatmates?"

"No!" chorused the entire class.

"Good, that means there will be less noise because these are your permanent seats," said Mr Babs with an evil grin on his face. This is why we hate him. The man nor even send sef.

I got stuck with Jimoh and Alegbesunu Peter in the seat just before the front seat. We really came early so I just thought I gist with this guys. There's no way I was going to make noise in the front seat with Mr Babs around. Even though I'm a senior. We see ourselves as young leaders but Commando sees us as goats.


------------
aytoy(f), Gabbyraze(m), eche45(m), Elizabethtemy(f), smilenow(f), aiikman(m), adesammy1(m), samragyone(m), LBlessing(f), calebfem, Olusharp(m), Peejay4193(f), ibolomo(m), folarmi(f), Obton(m), Aliyuozioma(f), Elbreezy(m), olad99(m), mizsandranony(f), MeemahBoo(f), adeaks(m), priceless20(f), madamoflife, preciouspearl004, khuedybangz(m), Mpaul22, DaVinci24(m), Daeveed(m), drippingink3, horlawharley(m), Ayonbobo(m), MzShay, towbaino(m), millalorin, hassanvic(m), Evansjj(m), boyo123(m), Tommysoul, donnybee, jarmew(m), temmydee181(m), dfwu(m), Queenoma(f), seyilaw3(m), Wingonia(f), Adeshiinaa(m), emarkson(m), sinachi1(f), Ade3000yrs(m), Tgold1(m), olatex25(m), faith551(m), Violinna, heskeyw(m), Jay542(m), dejavuh0007(m)

Those when dey online. I need comment. Make I know say I nor dey crack joke give empty chair.

TheBlessedMAN:
buddy, u make it sound as if am sum piece of material? Lost but found... Careless owner? Who's that?

TheBlessedMAN:
Oya o... The war don start o... Make i run go call my commrades... T.gold1, ur food don land o, i knw u lyk war too much,

Mrlemuel, wia u dey, this bokoharms don dey provoke us o, go carry ur bajinatu kum o, we go need am...

Rohy, wetin dey shele na, the war don start, go bling ur katapult and stones make we go join Aob1, and Nick 4 battle ground... Gbege go shele.. Heads go roll... Pusee's go block.. Oya TEAM HERO don land.. NICK NO SHAKING...!

TheBlessedMAN:
where is the rest of the HERO TEAM, when u need them? Are they on sabbatica? Rohy, T.gold1, Mrlemuel, if u no kum here b4 night, i go send a thunder wey don dey do press up since 1960 to kum fire ur balls..

TheBlessedMAN:
where is the rest of the HERO TEAM, when u need them? Are they on sabbatica? Rohy, T.gold1, Mrlemuel, if u no kum here b4 night, i go send a thunder wey don dey do press up since 1960 to kum fire ur balls..

TheBlessedMAN:
hehehehe! Heaven don suffer...
If u ar truly a coach in Heaven, it either means, the devilish angel dat appoints u did nt seek God's consent b4 doing so, or the Angel must av appointed u by mistake...

If u ar truly a coach 4 HEAVEN o, it purely means...


[size=40pt]HEAVEN IS IN TROUBLE [/size]

Chicent:
Act right...... Lead ur boy in same pace. He is lost..... Pls Find him.

TheBlessedMAN:
u wan enter heaven? U tink say dat ur f9 life fit grant u admission 4 heaven? I swear, u no fit enter 1st eleven 4 Hell gan self.

Chicent:
Lost soul!!!









Because ur gf sinned, every other gf shud be purnished. I give up on u son........

TheBlessedMAN:
chai... C, thunder is about 2 fire sum1's left bre*st... U sha wan spoil my name 4 Nl.. Me a whole annointed man... I am sure u using d 100naira meant 4 ur food allowance to buy card so that u go fit taint my good name... How do u expect my church to full wit diz absurd lies u spreading abt me? I go go on 6days eating and drinking plus fasting because o u.. Watch out.. Buddy.. Thunder is on its way..

SmartestPopQUEEN:
this dude is really something else... Isn't he? Fiyah?

TheBlessedMAN:
how u go dey spread lies about me with that Ronaldinho teeth of urz, wen u knw very well say d last tym wey I carry olosho na wen i wan enter Js1... Remember i be annointed Man of Nairaland... No let me do wetin my mind dey tel me to u o.. Take time b4 a ask Angel Seun and Angel Obinnau to kum down frm(only God knows) to kum arrest u.

SmartestPopQUEEN:
noooo... Not in the slightest sane sense... I wouldn't dare do that.. Its also my country remember... Sure, I spent the early years of my life away from home.... Buh that doesn't give me the audacity to ever think of speaking Ill of my beloved country.. Afterall, HOME IS HOME, and will always BE.

Mrlemuel:
Lol, Ma Da Loun, Oti Feran oti Ju Bi Oko Iya Rasida Alagbo... Only To End Up Panel-humping A Grandma For That Mata, Nw Him Dy Deny The Pikin Fathership.

Botaflica:
Really don't know what to say here again, but hmmm the battle is here now..... let's the ba...TT...le BEGIN... I don land.

funmiayodele:
so must you quote a whole chapter b4 u comment? I was happy cos I tot fiyah don update. Abeg no dey do dat kind tin again.

Mrlemuel:
Lol, All Ur 419er Money?, The Thunder No Fit Strike Me Sam Sam!, My Area No Be Nollywood Film...
u don forget the day wey we go Royh village, then u being drink too much alomo, wey konji cm hold u, only 4 u to end up in a hut, unable to recall what happened?, na her hut u go, and una do practical dat nyt.