mediocre:
Lol, I'm still alive.


Saturday 7th, I didn't call, no word from her either. I was really determined to complete the seven day exercise.


Sunday 8th, I caved .. Someone told me she was sick, she didn't even bother to let me know. I figured she didn't want to be called so i was going to let her be. Towards evening, i started feeling bad so i called, she seemed really sick. I went to her house and she was happy to see me. Got my hopes up again. Sigh.


Monday 9th, I was with her throughout the day . Deep sigh!!

hello

Welldone for being sincere. if you keep that up we would achieve our goal.

First, you need to understand that the goal here is not to break your relationship. The bitter truth is that you are not handling the relationship in a healthy way. In a healthy relationship, you should love your partner but not to the point of near-obsession where you could consider dying if she leaves. This project is aimed at teaching your mind that you can survive come-what-may. That way, you don't have to grovel all the time and beg for her affection.

You would need sheer willpower, please muster it. We are starting the count again from todaY. Let's see how far you can go

Mediocre you are owing 2 days update already.... Please kindly update us so we can be sure absence of your babe hasn't killed you. We need you alive please.
*****
kaleydd2000 howdy
*******

CplusJason no update from you to....

*****

Top of a great morning everyone!
Twaci and teejaypee thanks for following "In pursuit of goodness"

kinglekan:


I perfectly understand. The narrative is already looking quite interesting, it wouldn't be a bad idea to put up the story on a separate thread in literature section.

There you would get enough comments and then you can always make reference to a particular post you put up there on this thread.

Just a thought though.. But I'm following this story either way.

Indeed! You have made a valid point.. Thanks Boss. I would heed your advice asap.
How was today?

kinglekan:




monotonou This is beginning to look like a literary piece though.

Well, it wouldn't do justice tell the story in one monotonous stretch. It took 4 years of ups and downs before we started a relationship and there's a lesson to learn each step of the way.

kinglekan and mediocre....I'm sorry, I was so tired last night I just slept off.

RMClub I've replied your mail, Thanks

kinglekan:


Still waiting

Lolz I'm sorry... Coming up soon

mediocre:
Update as requested.

Usually i would call her everyday to ask how she was and how her day went and all, but today i resisted the urge to, it was surprisingly easy. She didn't try to reach me either .

Guess This is Day 1

Well-done #ThumbsUp

And you are still alive..... Hurray!

kinglekan:


Awesome!

kinglekan:


You're wrong.. Some of us are. Well I'm very interested in hearing though.

Lolz okay I'd try to pen something down after close of work today. Watch out for it

kinglekan:


Lol @new colour

So what do you have for us this year? I thought you were also planning on sharing some personal experiences for us to learn from?

I was... Nobody seemed interested in hearing it na

Kaleydd2000:
on my onw i've tried not to call the girl again, also not seeing porn again, careful about the sites i see online and also prays. However, as the pro, let me have ur suggestions pls.

You are doing well. These efforts go a long way! Especially prayer. God wants our marriages to last for a lifetime and so He would support your cause.

The truth is that Only You can CHOOSE to stop cheating.

The good side of your story is that you love your wife, care about her happiness and most importantly that YOU WANT TO STOP.
So start with believing that as difficult as it may be, it is achievable.

What seems to be the benefit of your cheating is the sexual gratification you get from the other lady. Knowing this means that, if you truly want to stop you are going to have to fill in that vacuum.

So after teaching your mind that you want to be with only your wife, sit wify down and have a heart-to-heart conversation with her. In this conversation, don't demand, don't command, don't just ask. Rather plead with your wife, in an emotional discussion tell her how you feel about her attitude towards sex. Make sure it doesn't degenerate into an argument... In fact have the conversation when she's happy and preferably have her cuddled up to you, stroking her hair while at it. The idea is to get her relaxed. Explain to her that you are willing to accept some compromises - Which means she may not have to go all the way with your desires but that you'd appreciate that she makes effort to make it happen . let her know you are willing to make the journey fun. Take it upon yourself to make Sex enjoyable for her. Don't push, just teach her to love you just as good as you want it.

To do this though, you are going to need to delete all pornographic images and videos and stop yourself from watching more. More so, the other girl should be deleted. Don't allow your body deceive you into "one last time..." Take her out of your life for good. Phone number, social media, everywhere, delete and block her. Else she would keep disturbing every progress you make.


Assignment for you:

Every day, come here and share with us one little thing your wife did right or one small thing she did that you appreciated or liked. We don't want to hear the big things, just those tiny details. Which means you have to take care to watch out for the tiny details - Which could be the way she smiled, the way her hair looked, how neatly she arranged the house, how she carefully organised you clothes, those little little things. We want to hear at least one everyday.

Additionally, plan your schedule to make for date-night once a week. The date doesn't have to be expensive, it could just be a walk on Saturday or Sunday evening.

The idea is to recreate the magic in your marriage. Your marriage should keep you so busy, you have no time for other women

CplusJason:
Cool then.

CplusJason:
I hope the chicken you promised me is still available for collection?

Ehwooooo I promised you chicken? I can't remember o

How about we have that talk you are owing me - this time as a treat from me

CplusJason:
Good morning TheCOB,

I'm doing great.


Happy New year.

Thanks Boss

Kaleydd2000:
Thanks COB, for your responses so far. I wanna stop not because i don't enjoy it but because my wife is not happy and i also fear for unwanted disease/pregnancy. Moreover, one can't be too sure the other lady wont be doing something behind to hold unto me and in addition is my conscience and knowing the fact that God frowns at it.I want to be free inside and outside.

Your reasons are fair enough.

Next step is:

What do you think can be done to stop?

kinglekan:


Hi TheCOB ...Happy New Year!

I'm doing very well and you?

Thanks Boss! New year, new Signature-colour?

I'm doing great too. Thanks for responding

Top of the day guys!

How are you doing? Kinglekan, CplusJason, Jayson1, howdy

O0ni:


I really don't know.
Doing a mental play back of how my relationship began, things said and the intensity of emotions, I wonder what love is about.

Yes I understand that coming out from a bad relationship, you may feel the this way.
But use this time to learn more about yourself and love yourself, that way when love happens you would have something to give.

Love "hopes" all things.... So just because you've had a bad experience doesn't mean love doesn't exist or that you can't have it. You can if you allow your heart to just be open to it. Don't stress it, don't go searching for love, it would just happen and when it does, you'd be better for it

O0ni:

You want to stop believing in love?

O0ni:


Lol

I felt some relief finding out her drama was as a result of being involved but the continuous lying gets to me. Why can't people just own up to whatever the fruck they're doing?

It makes me feel like I'm some type of idiot that she tells me she wants the relationship of many years still but seeing some other guy lowkey & sticking him in as dps. This is aside the instagram comments & many photos on her phone.

I just don't like people when they lie.

I've stopped calling & texting too since I saw these things, I think she got the message as well & has tried to reach out but the damage is done.

Sigh.

Sorry about your hurt. I'm glad you finally decided your were better than being a "Plan B"

Don't stop believing in love though....one would find you when and where you least expect it to

mediocre:
Nice thread. Do you think its possible to fall in love more than once? I do not.

I have been in relationships, moved on. That's the normal thing to do right. Never imagined someone would have me stop wrapped around her fingers like this one. I'm just not the type, to fall for someone like that.

when we started dating, i just imagined it was going to be the same. I knew i liked her, but i wasn't exactly the faithful type.


Slowly she became part of me. We've had fights, even breakups but i always go back to beg, even when its clearly her fault. Every single time i always go back begging, not that i enjoy it of course but i would die without her. I would literally die. She knows this and she takes advantage of it. Sometimes she would get me angry ( sometimes i think she does it on purpose), we wouldn't talk for days, I'd be expecting her to apologise but she wouldn't. I would be forced to call her to try and fix things. It's .stupid.


Some people will think i have low self esteem and think i can't get any other girl. This is not true. I'm actually quite a catch, I've gotten advances from a number of girls but turned them down. Because i can't see myself with someone else, the thought of it just drives me insane. The thought of her with someone else makes me want to die.

I know she doesn't love me as much, sometimes i wonder if she loves me at all but she says she does. I don't believe in magic or juju or any other supernatural thing actually but sometimes i wonder if she " gave me something to eat" Lol. When she shows the slightest affection (which is quite rare), like giving me a peck in public or holding my hand or saying she loves me, it's like I'm going to burst. Out of joy, pure joy.

I hate that I love her this much, I've tried to fall out of love, didn't work so what's a guy to do...

First things first,
There's no such thing in the practicality of Love that says " i would die without her. I would literally die"

You have to wake yourself up from this illusion! When God created you, he didn't create an Eve for you without whom you would die. In fact even Adam, who God specifically created a partner for, did not need Eve for survival. Talk less of you who met and fell in love with a random person on God's big earth.

Now that you've woken up from that illusion (hopefully), the next thing you should note is that: you shouldn't have to beg for crumbs of a woman's love. The reason is simple - when a woman truly loves, she gives herself into the love. So if you have a woman that has to make you grovel at her feet for crumbs of affection, then you should wake up to reality and accept that you really do not have her. You getting the crumbs of another man's main course dish.

Now let's test your theory about being unable to live without her.
Decide for one week that you would stay without contacting her. Give us an update of how each day went, and if you are not dead by the 7th day, I guess we'd all know the real truth of the situation.

sexymoma:
@Thecob do you know i finally found out he has another babe and he s been dating this lady for like a year now.
my problem now is, he never stops calling me, i've even stopped calling or show some kind of affections since the day i found out he has someone else, buh he'll always tell me i've changed, i've changed,ain't as caring as before, as a matter of fact, to my findings, this lady sleeps in his place mon-fri, if u check my prev chat with you, i told you he doesn't pick calls at night kindoff.

i just wnted you to tell me he s cheating on me, i already knew even before i chat you up..
well your advice was good enough!!

Good evening dear. It would have been quite presumptuous for me to assume that he was cheating without any evidence. The essence of the thread is to help guide individuals away from assumptions especially negative assumptions.

*****

Okay, now you are certain he has another woman. My question is: Why are you still wasting your precious time with another woman's man?

He's obviously not giving you the kind of attention you would want from your man because he isn't yours.

The sooner you let him out, the quicker you get your own man.

If he's allowing her sleepover and even make night calls which isn't a norm for him, you shouldn't wait to be told to your face.

As for him calling you.... Well he's enjoyed your attention, it's only human to ask why it stopped. But you should respect your self enough to tell him to his face that you are done. Stop selling yourself short and stressing your life monitoring his new relationship. You are way above that.
Value yourself enough to tell him straight up to spend his time in his new relationship and leave you alone. You don't have to be The Other Woman - REFUSE IT

Kaleydd2000:
I do love her(wife) so much. I met a lady sometimes ago who was giving me all sorts and go 3/4 rounds and i enjoy it but my conscience prick me each time and i really wanna stop, though stopped for sometime now but i still wish to f**k other gals sometimes still.

Where there is a will.......

The most important thing is that you want to stop. Identifying the need to stop is a key factor in actually stopping. But it only does as much as it can. Next, you need to examine why you want to stop. Is it because of the guilt? Or because you are convinced that your actions are wrong?

If you don't feel it as wrong in your gut, it becomes easier to fall prey. Because after some time of repeated affairs, your conscience would become sensitised to the adultery and stop feeling guilty, it thus becomes easier to sin.


So first of all, Try to think and tell me: what are your true reasons why you want to stop cheating on ur wife? Please feel free to say as many reasons as there are

Good evening everyone...

I'm really sorry for being AWOL. Pardon me please, I had to urgently attend to some issues.
But I'm back Now.
Let's get the ball rolling!

Hello dear...

Its a fine desire to get married in as much as you don't get desperate about it.

I feel you are being satirical though and the desperation is hyped for our humour. But underneath the mission to make us smile, I think you must have thought this out even if in your subconscious.

You would find a man dear. But remember, that no man is better than a wrong man.

So be you, and love would find you if you keep your heart open to possibilities.

As much as you desire to get hooked, use your brain as you listen to your heart dear.

All the best!

Do give us gist when you find Him

Kaleydd2000 :

I guess the different positions she isn't giving you are the ones you see on porn videos right?

How old is your marriage?

Kaleydd2000:
stressors like?

Stressors like some situations or factors that could make you cheat on her.

Probably there's a tempting Female who is on ur case...
Or maybe you have been watching pornography
Or you feel your wife is losing her sexual appeal...

So is there anything that could be prompting you to cheat?