Kaleydd2000:
I pray God helps me to be faithful, Amen.

Omooba224:
Honestly, I can't thank you enough for your matured advice. I will try to adopt every salient point you made and I hope I will be better off by the points...
Gracias...

Omooba224:
Well, I'll say at a start of my rapport with them I always tend to play along with their attitudes, but as time goes on I easily turn off with them (calling them but them not calling back in a case of missed call, busy excuses etc). My Ideology is that I can't call a girl more than twice when she is not picking up my calls.

Some girls will say I am too inquisitive. At times I try to ask indirect questions..
I am a jovial type but I don't take nonsense

Omooba224:
At a certain age in life, one needs a companion who will always be there for him/her in a time of dismay or merryment.. I always think about having sexual relationship experiences before finally hook up with someone. I'm in my mid 20's, approaching ladies is not my problem, but my problem is how to handle them. Ladies usually say that I am kinda rude, with the following attitudes:
1. Bashing them
2. Giving them Less Attention and lots more.
Recently, I had a little rancour with my girlfriend-to-be lolz, she said I overreact too much and she can't date me because of my behavior etc and another girl even flaired up and told me never to call her again. I have gotten another potential girlfriend now but I don't want to lose her again.
I need matured advices Nlanders please..
NB: I have never had a girlfriend..

comshots:
There is this girl I am seeing presently.We met 2 month ago.Though,she has agreed to be my bae,we have not even kiss not to talk of making love or having sex.Meanwhile,i have been giving her cash gift.Anytime I ask her for a stroll she will be saying that she is cooking or her daddy is at home.I don't know if her claims are genuine.But I am seeing signs that she is in love with me.Take for instance,she invited me to her mum's shop.Her siblings were present.They were all nice at me.My question is am I a maga,given the fact that we never knack and I don dey spend?She is now asking for money to make her.christmas hair.

CplusJason:
I'll try my best.

CplusJason:
You don't wanna thank me too abi?

Sexytemi:




Awwwww, thanks a lot...you're so right about me loosing up a bit, I'd do just that so that I can a memorable relationship and hope it do last..

Thanks once again.

CplusJason:

I see you've started work already.

Though the Op question was askew but i believe you.

CplusJason:
Sure. Jayson.

Pleasant morning to you.

Missp111:
My fellow landers please I need you honest advice on this,a family friend introduced me to his long time friend. just around December 2nd, so we started talking everything was cool we agreed on how and where to stay and all that. the sad story is that he is back in nigeria" the excitement is not there , I have made all the moves but all I hear is am waiting for my luggage and he finally got the (luggage) and then all I hear is where do u say you live again let me see you on my way out this wasn't what I expected atall so I told him that sorry I cant see him before this I have called his friend to tell him and he said he is suprised and disappointed by his act what do I do please

CplusJason:
Though i find this very difficult to comprehend, i'll advise you to talk with TheCOB.

www.nairaland.com/TheCOB

dingbang:
even thecob will not understand.

Sexytemi:



Really its not my fault, I guess I gave the wrong person my trust, and you know once one's trust is broken its really hard trusting everyone around you.

I do trust him, but it can never be compared to the amount of trust I had on my ex.

Sexytemi:




Him lying to my face and turning his back on me when I need him, that would break whatever trust I have left for any man, I just can't imagine myself going through the process of being lied to and taken for a fool, it would break me into pieces....

Sexytemi:




I'm in a relationship now and applying what happened in my past relationship to this one is really affecting it for I believe whatever he says is a lie and that no guy can ever be truthful because I really trusted my ex.

I was in a long distance relationship with my ex and so whenever anyone asks me if I trusted him not to cheat, I'd say yes and would even swear on his loyalty, so it was a real blow on my ego when it turned out he was nothing but a cheat and a liar.

Sexytemi:



Hmmmm, really nice concept, wish I can help in sharing my experience of a wonderful relationship fairy tale but its really not so, all I have is tales that would make others run from relationship or even the word bonding.

Oh dear....

It is those realities that we actually need. Fairy tales happen only on Disney channel
In the real world, we have to face harsh realities, learn from them and get better on our next venture into loving.

Besides though, talking out is a healing process in itself and helps to keep the lessons afresh.

If you don't mind, please share with us along with the lessons you learnt and hope to apply in your next relationship.

Love is beautiful emotion, it's the humans that make it seem otherwise sometimes. So if it knocks you down, get back up, and try again

Kaleydd2000:
Hello COB, am married but sometimes i feel like having fun with someone else. Do all men feel this way?

Jayson1:
Thank you so kindly.

Jayson1:
Sorry about that. Told you about the issue with that stuff. Trying to rectify the problem.

Okay no problems #Waiting

PabloOmoEscobar:
Just passing

Please do take a pause to dine and wine with us

Sexytemi:



Hmmmm, okay....



But first what is COB

Thanks for asking

It's actually TheCOB - The Concept Of Bonding

The idea is borne out of my desire to increase the rate of successful relationships.
Many times, weak bonding or lack thereof account for needless assumptions and tears down relationships.

The idea is to help people ask those questions they would rather not hear, so they can make the right decisions for themselves and forge strong bonds. And because we don't just stop at one-side o the story, it makes it even more practical.

TheCOB believes in positive energy in the face of reality; so while we help you define your reality, we would also help you discern the possibilities and explore them.

Reality doesn't always offer us "Happy-Ever-After", but who says we can't get "Something-Like-It"?

kinglekan:


Being in a relationship with a lady with similar personality is obviously a No-No. Does this mean he isn't ready for a relationship and shouldn't bother getting into one?

kinglekan:



It is really good to have someone like you on here. I have learnt a thing or two from your posts and the way you clearly articulated your points is commendable. I must also say I agree with your line of thought and your notion on "assumptions" in relationships.

I would like to ask you a question tho with regards to your post on Toyin and Nkem. In such a relationship, my guess is Toyin's withdrawal at the end of the day was inevitable. But on a second thought, what do you think can salvage such a case? Do you think if Toyin had a good understanding of Nkem's personality that the relationship might have stood a chance? or perhaps she might get bored in the long-run even tho she is fully aware Nkem isn't much of a talker?

In other words, if we take out the negative assumptions, do this two stand a chance of making things workout?

What are your thoughts?

Yes the relationship would have had a better chance of survival of Toyin was able to understand that Nkem simply isn't much of a talker. It could have helped her 'comfort' herself at those times when she yearned for her man to just express himself. It would definitely have allayed her fears and doused our negative assumptions.

But would it really have meant that the relationship would survive? Well, I'd say Yes and No.

How happy would Toyin feel in such a relationship? I'd be willing to bet that she would at some point feel stifled. The reason being that while she would consciously try not to withdraw completely, it is only sane not to be overly excited discussing with someone whose reactions are rather too calm.

Subconsciously, whether she likes it or not, she will mellow down that excitement and because that excitement is part of what gives her the spark, she may find herself wondering many times "Can I REALLY do this forever?"

So now, there's a shift. She's no longer bothered about negative assumptions of whether he loves her or is cheating etc..... She would now be bothered with if she can cope with this alteration of her personality.

And you know, at that point when a woman has to consciously pause many times to think if she can truly cope with "THIS" forever, that relationship is threatened.

It would work only if they have already formed a strong bond and Nkem makes some adjustments. Of the two possibilities, I'd say if Toyin has to be happy in that relationship, Nkem has to step up his game.

Very soon, she would get bored! Who wants a boring relationship?

Against the odds, Toyin can choose to stay because she truly loves him. But is it really fair to her happiness?

Eddodoh:
My assumptions have really kept me from seeing the bigger picture and positive side of relationship.

I have resort to loneliness without any serious relationship because I was unable to identify that special woman in my life.
Considering that I have kept several relationships in the past. I assumed that something was wrong with me not knowing that I lack clear goals and do not really know what I wanted out of the relationships.

Moreover, there's this lady we have something very strong for each other. She meant everything to me but religious difference has being our major problem despite her reassurance that she will convert. For more than 5 years I have no idea what I really wanted from my relationship with her.

I concluded that we are not good match and I always try not have anything to do with her.

At age 30 I have no relationship, not even a serious relationship as some will put it. I begin to wonder how someone who keep several dates suddenly have a dead love life with no woman in my life.

Thanks to COB. I have been made to understand that identifying your goals in every relationship is key. Knowing what makes us enter into an affair with the opposite sex in the beginning unlock the mystery and help us to keep a meaningful relationship.

I learnt to have relationship with person(s) I have affection for and communicate effectively to reach common goals and aspirations.

Thank God, I now have the bigger picture of what I want.

kinglekan:


You're welcome Ma'am & the pleasure is mine.

Are you a regular or you just joined NL recently and for this purpose?

No not one of the regulars, hence why I'm having difficulties identifying those to tag.
I am on Nairaland basically for this purpose. I'd really appreciate all the support I can get. In the entire scheme of things, I might make some planning errors but We shall overcome

kinglekan:


@TheCOB

Really mature comments and insights from you.

Thanks Boss

Glad to have you here

chibuike65:
thanks I got your mail do you have a page on Facebook? thanks

chibuike65:
actually this new girl is still playing let me think over it game I know she will fall at last, I love the old one but the matter is am lonely

princessayesha:
I dont know if its assuption @op
And i hope someone learns from what am about to say
We love each other but we seem to attract the opposite sex a lot. His phone is always busy so i assumed he cheating. Guys ask for my number on my insta (thru comment ) so he assumed i have given them. And then he checked my phone...he saw so many text messages (most of which i left on read) so he assumed i am playing around. Turns out our trust issues led to a nasty break up. What hurts is that he does not wish me well, he said so many bad things to me...he wants me to suffer...he wants me to marry someone that will make my life hell. Assumptions hurt...

Thanks for sharing your experience dear. I guess your next relationship would fare better armed with what you have now learned.

Don't worry, love would find you; and this time you'd do it right

Welcome to The COB