₦airaland Forum

This is good!I also love d tempo of d narration,it moved wt a good speed of a mind reminiscing about d past.However,as your audience after runing dis race wt d narrator it is no doubt dat we would be panting and would be wating for dat moment he would pause,give us some water to drink,refresh us or possibly let us jog along wt him and if he could walk let him walk provided he wouldnt arrive home late.My point;dont stick to just a tempo.Good work

Though this is just an excerpt from a work,one shouldnt be in hurry to give a pass mark.But from the tone and the mood of the narrator it is well clear that d authour didnt artistically interfere wt d sober mood of the narrator's expression...that suggests a note like left behind by d narrator whose ordeal finally led him to commit suice or perhaps an old man who was sharing his life experince on d verge of death with a little kid.In this regard one would not question d creative power and strenght needed by d author to entrance us with d deploy of beautiful narrative elements.However I would advice u switch between moods to add some colour to d narrative through d eye of d narrator or u let your beautiful voice overshadow his.Anything monotonus declines taste.Good attempt

OK!this muse has come dictacting to me again,it wont let me be until I put those ideas down.So I'm putting down more chapters....ITS ALL ABOUT LOVE TO DOUSE THIS RAGING FIRE!

@mute4real,No doubts u are good at what u are doing.And I'm motivated by d piece.Thanks for sharing this.

To shed more light, was/were is used instead of is/are to convey the sense that the action didnt actually take place or wouldnt take place.Expression conveyed in conditional tense of this sense is always in past form.e.g I was to go to Lagos tomorrow.
Another example is;It is high time we left for Accra.They are all unreal conditional tenses in actual real world.

Clairette: .
Pls justify your point with fact. How do u mean 'was' could correct. In what context can 'was' flow where d subject is 'I', the first person singular. Pls convince me wit fact.

The context is when u are expressing unreal conditional sentences.Not only Ist person singular' I' u can use that way,3rd person singular i.e he,she,someone etc could go with was/were .Check page 52 of A UNIVERSITY GRAMMAR OF ENGLISH by Randolph.Q&Sidney .G.We are all here to learn &I think I help wt this

I like your figuratives but cant help you out of Wasimi,without you being there you wouldnt have composed this lovely piece for my amusement.You see it is good you are there for me to read your story and be amused by it.Just a joke.

Both are acceptable and grammatically correct, but 'were' is given more prestige than 'was'.Use if I were to avoid argument and embarrasment if you cant explain why u use it.

@telthetruth, I wouldnt agree that my names are is not English,it is but grammatically its not correct if the spreaker uses it to refer to a single entity and if he is not addressing another question beneath the surface level.Under Pragmatics and Semantics the speaker that uses it is answering another question that is not reflected on the surface structure.Whom he is addressing might know better,the meaning is within the context in which it is being used.

One love

'Mine is lets make the world a better place to live' because I believe that what we throw into the society is what the society trows back at us in multiple folds.We could make the world a better place to live by contributing postively to the society rather than joining to make it a hell of a place.

I just thought we should develop a family bond first dinning ideas on the same table,throwing jokes together before going on this long journey.The journey migth be challenging,when we set our foot on this journey,my food might get exhaused,I might be left with an empty water vessels,I might need a cloth to warm me off the cold,I might develop a sore foot,without a family bond...nobody might be there to keep the spirit high.

Share the members into groups let them develop bond,trust each other,know each other,read each other's work,within a stipulated period of time, then you roll in a bigger task.They would all be there under one banner 'NAIJA YOUNG WRITERS CLUB'!

You can only say my names are if you have other semantic meanings attached to the question you are being asked but grammatically whatever sequence of names you are displaying if it is reffering to a single entity should follow the gramammatical structure of SINGULAL NOUN that operates with plural verb.(RULE OF CONCORD).
OLANREWAJU GOODLUCK EMEKA is my name.

This three names is A NOUN PHRASE
but
These three names are NOUN PHRASES_________OLANREWAJU the tall guy,GOODLUCK the slim one,and EMEKA the fat boy are debating on the grammatical correctness of the issue above.

@Dailynews,I went through the attachment and was pleased with the good job you did there.I did resend my email I sent to you the other time I wouldnt know if you received it.

Before talking about the Zonal meeting,I would suggest you first make use of the screening form or emails dropped on this thread to organise people into groups,let say Group A -Z,each group consisting of five/ten people should have a team leader that would be coodinating the activities of each group based on the directives he would be receiving from the board member[a board member to consist of seven people who share your ideas with you and passionate about the club,and also members of the board is expected to be part of the groups,and should not be appointed as a team leader in their groups].


The board should creat email address for all the groups through which information would be related across board.
The team leaders would be allowed to share ideas with the board members on programmes to be runining with their groups.

Each member of the team is expected to share his or her phone number and email address with his or her members to foster a family like relationship among members.

The boad is expected to run literary programmes with the groups to help shape an individual writer better by giving topics to write on and criticism of each work to be done by the members in each group.

And individual writer could share his work with member of his group for critisim,editing before posting on Nailaraland.

Having united the interesed members together in groups and runing programmes with them for a period of time I believe it would be more easier to call for Zonal meeting which I believe will witness a great attaendance than calling on members now to leave their comfort bedroom to journey miles.

I think this suggestion of mine would help.Thanks

@Emyo,I like your passion for dis to kick start but dont be too much in hurry.Just a little more patience Dailynews will get back to us.Typing on phone get back later to share my thoughts

@uniquexty,It was just a tip to gild d work.It is not correction.You are doing great with your piece.I'd like to read more of it.Thumps-up!

Many things to look at in a creative piece.I looked at d language&I said beautiful.I would appreciate it more if you throw in more words in congruent with your setting .Let us into your setting by metaphor,Simile,give us local names of birds,trees.Colour it wt some Igbo proverbs withing the conversation.Your Theme,we dont want to be enslaved to the gods anymore,use your plot to emancipate us or let d man suffer for making himself a puppet in d hands of d gods.Good work!

@DailyNews,I just sent you an e-mail.You might also text me on 07033923754.I might not be able to pick calls.
And if you are ok with what I suggested, David might be collating the email adress until its up to 125.As for now there might not be need for creating a website.Go through what I sent and let me hear from you.Thanks

DaillyNews,I'm in. Now that I have your email I would chip in some ideas.U might check your mail possibly on thursday.ayolad4@yahoo.com

@OP,though I'm not perfect too but I wont take this from u as a much serious work.The work isnt dat lenghty to justify d mistake of spellings and collocation.And u still have to coodinate ur thoughts together for a smooth ride.

@OP,d tear was beautifully shed in ink but I would like u to relate how time did not allow Ijeoma to fufill her dreams or u stop at d farewell.That would sustain d emotion in us

@OP I found what am looking for in a writer in u&I'm more than impressed.Dont drop ur pen,we are going to harness dis pontentials together.Get back to u later.Hey dont get me wrong.I'm just a budding writer wt some idea that might help

Never to give up.Thks for this

Fyn gal,gree-die and Daily news thanks alot I appreciate you all.@ Fyn gal, I didnt turn a deaf ear to Dumdoust suggestions but the manner at which he blurted this clause 'we all wrote worse'and also reffering to the people that commented before him as sycophants was what I frowned at.Afterall Literary criticism is a creative adventure and it also requires alot of wisdom and creativity,I expected that from him.

All in all I know I still have to work on my DICTION to entrance my audience but my fear, I was runing away from pleonasm(The crime of many writers) for the novel not to be bulky, as my plot drives me from chapter to chapter and at the end I was caugth between not giving the artistic painting of what my readers might want to know and heading straight for the main action.One of it was the scene where the Prof was bundled into the vehicle.I didnt tell whether it was at the boot or he was sandwiched in the vechicle with the kidnappers.

@Daily news,we will get in touch.

......

She smiled but before she could reply a boy had come up to her and handed her a parcel with a note on it. She nimbly collected it from him and tucked it in her pocket. She was tactically edging away from Richard.
“Hold on, why the sudden leave?”

“Forgive me, I’ve got to go. I will give you a call some other time.”

She scooted walking with a long step, Richard stood and watched her walk away. He picked his phone and informed.
“ She is just leaving, she was not paying attention to me”

Meanwhile, Agent Rowland was at the park, he was holding the picture of the sketched man to his chest asking people if they know or had come across the man, no one really paid him attention. Halimot wasn’t looking straight; she was busy looking back when she stumbled on him. The paper fell from Agent Rowland’s hand and Halimot bent down to pick it for him. She was surprised at seeing the picture she had drawn, with the man. She picked it up and handed it back to him, and Agent Rowland asked.

“Do you know this man, have you come across him?”

“No! I don’t know….know him?”She fluttered and was trying to move away, before she decided to ask him a question.

“Who are you please?”

He flashed his Identity Card.

“Agent Rowland”

Then she remembered what Austin had told him, warning her not to discuss the Language with anyone, so she quickened her steps.

“I’m sorry officer, he is not a familiar face.”

“Madam, you looked tired, I think you need to take some rest”

“Thank you officer! I will.”