₦airaland Forum

Trottle:
Bro,

Do your self a favour and ALWAYS take to your heels whenever a girl tells you she has "male friends" (who are most likely toasters...) you're human and there is bound to be conflict sooner or later: don't buy that crap.
Your destiny is not tied to anyone. You have a whole lot ahead of you, and cannot afford to waste your time on anyone.

The close proximity that campus offers is what is BLINDING you, thinking you are in love. Trust me, when you start to experience the real world (starting from NYSC). You'll Laugh and laugh at
your previous naivety.

Try to make a solid CGPA, start thinking of a nice business plan, and how to generally better your life and improve your society. Trust me, Na them go rush you, as you'll have your pick (of potential WIVES).

PLUS: don't spend to buy any girl's love or impress her. The roadside bigger or the hungry kid on the street will forever cherish you if you feed them rather.

Be wise with your time and all.

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?

Bryan88:
bro,u need men to advice u not ladies and if u know whats good 4 ur dear hrt? Giv dat girl as much space as u can...talkin from experience.

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?

marioken:
The truth is she is not ready for any relationship or commitment,dont go in OR you will hurt yourself.That type of girl will toll with your emotion cos she is hasn't met the one that will break her emotionally.

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?

Xisnin:
I had different advice in mind until I saw her age.
You will be wasting your time if you want a serious relationship.
She is currently in her "experimenting" stage and you should be
expecting several heartbreaks if you decide to follow your heart
instead of your head.
It is only after failed experiments can she decide to commit to any relationship, this
usually happens around age 26 and above.
There are exceptions but this is my experience with educated ladies.

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?

tunjilana:
Bros...Emotionally detach yourself from her and play the game..don't take her too serious so u don't hurt urself or end up marrying somene who doesn't love you with her whole...

It is possible she is eyeing someone or trying to get with someone who isn't giving her attention or she is still holding out for her ex...don't be that guy...move ur heart far away from her...U may still be there physically sha in case u want sex with her but take off your mind...

And if she eventually comes around and says or act ready, be sure of why she is ready, be sure it is not cos she has bn used and dumped by someone else and then suddenly see u as available, be sure it isn't to get back at someone, be sure it isnt in a desperate bid to marry...

Marrying someone who pretend to love u is the biggest headache u can give urself...let her be...

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?

Daeylar:
A girl told you what she wants,
you came here looking for us to give you tips on how to disregard what she wants, so that you can get what you selfishly want as if the relationship is only about you and what you want.


she is not emotionally ready, move on

why is it hard?

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?

Saff:
Hi


I think you need to give this young lady some space as she’s in a stage in her life where she may not want commitment. She’s just trying to cover it up by saying, ‘she likes her freedom.’ Shes not a child that doesn’t understand the dynamic of a relationship, she’s just not ready. Don’t invest too much emotions into her at the moment, because you’ll end up losing in the end. I believe you guys can be casual friends from a distance, but please do not pressure her into anything. Once a woman knows that a man really likes them and wants a relationship more than them, they’ll take advantage and play with your heart. That’s human nature, we always look for weaknesses in people and use it to our advantage. Don’t come across desperate, play it cool. If she’s meant for you, she’ll come back to you eventually.

Put yourself first before anybody! Guard your heart and don’t purposely fall into a place of confusion for the sake of love. Take a step back and think it through. Goodluck

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?

MariaLavina:
21 in 100level?

Dear op, A lady at her age and level in school may not be emotionally available for a relationship. Not everyone has the ability to focus on two things at the same time. Most especially when it comes to Studies and relationship.

Naturally, Emotions and Logic are opposing forces except in cases where an individual is matured enough to handle both. It takes Maturity to attain that level of emotional intelligence.Probably she's yet to reach that level and honestly it will affect her grades.

At her age must ladies want to explore and enjoy freedom. Who knows if she was brought up by strict parents who place restrictions on their wards. School is an avenue to be free, you coming in will cut that short.

I respect her honesty, do that to. Give her space. If you will, help her in her academics but never expect too much. There is a probability she will want you the way you want, and she may not. Don't push it. Be confident and Mature around her.

Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut
communication with her totally and move on or I shud
still call her and talk Sha...
Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I
truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side,
is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can
take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call
her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some
hours.
But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still
be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut
her off and move one....?

Cc: Chiommy123
Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut communication with her totally and move on or I shud still call her and talk Sha... Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side, is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some hours. But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut her off and move one....?

Sacramento1212
... Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut communication with her totally and move on or I shud still call her and talk Sha... Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side, is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some hours. But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut her off and move one....?

Colourich:
If she tells you that she is not emotionally ready, it means that she has a person in mind she wants to date or a crush that she is expecting to be dating soon and you my dear are not what she wants, you are not her very spec.

Deal with it and suck it up.

cc:Timekeeper.

As a lady... Advise me as a guy, shud I just cut communication with her totally and move on or I shud still call her and talk Sha...

Seriously to me, I don't Wana be friend zone Cox I truly wanna court her..... But she on the other side, is damn too free with guys and I don't think I can take it...... BEFORE I told her how I feel, I use to call her to meet outside her hostel and we talk for some hours.


But now that she is not ready, do u think I shud still be doing all wat I use to do to her or I shud just cut her off and move one....?

Cc: colourich

Like she said that we are equal
If you support gender equality,
Click like
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Hanseel1:
Kid. See his senseless status.
Such a slowpoke.

E good as he pain you now... Oponu

Hanseel1:
Kid. See his senseless status.
Such a slowpoke.

E good as he pain you now... Oponu

TOMSY:
OP. Please follow this man's advice, and you'll win in two ways. One, when you don't have time for her anymore, shell be the one fighting for your attention. Two, your grades will not suffer. Remember you have a primary objective in school, and it must ALWAYS come first in any decision you make. God bless you.

Thanks sir

Hanseel1:
I hope you'll also limit your freedom?

You're not married to her yet you want to start setting rules, what would happen if you eventually get married to her? turn into a tyrant?

Why do I have a feeling that most of you guys on this forum are coded misogynists?

Carry yourself and your useless feelings comot jare... Mumu, where did I say I set rules? If u don't have sumtin better to say, just keep shut.....

iClef:
The above are your mistakes, and I'll explain. Before I explain, click that link below and read this first. https://www.nairaland.com/4659936/demonic-airforce1-vs-explorers-what/1#70028326

When you are done reading, let me know. If you miss this opportunity, you will regret.

I'm done reading.... I can't do those things u said n I can't be d bad guy u want me to be.... I prefer to be rejected than act as a bad guy Cox of girl.... Whether nice or bad, ur lady will come...

Shugavee:
I hv said my peace,, he can choose to take it or not!

Thanks

Thanks you all.. I really appreciate your advice.... I'm so much grateful

olaboy1:
Desperate man. You want to wife someone you barely know just because your d!ck is controlling your sense of reasoning. You need to grow up and let her bring more than her physical attributes to the table, try and build your self esteem by pursuing your purpose in life.

Forget about sex hate... But ur last sentence made sense... The rest were bullshit

Daeylar:
A girl told you what she wants,
you came here looking for us to give you tips on how to disregard what she wants, so that you can get what you selfishly want as if the relationship is only about you and what you want.


she is not emotionally ready, move on

why is it hard?

Read through again.. I can't and don't know how to force a lady.. I just came here to understand what freedom means to ladies.. That's why u directed my questions to the ladies in particular... Pls be gentle

lereinter:
o so otito fun e o fi gbo
no say she cheat u o

MO gbo, shey ko da bi mo se bere lowo Awon obinrin ni

Saff:
Hi


I think you need to give this young lady some space as she’s in a stage in her life where she may not want commitment. She’s just trying to cover it up by saying, ‘she likes her freedom.’ Shes not a child that doesn’t understand the dynamic of a relationship, she’s just not ready. Don’t invest too much emotions into her at the moment, because you’ll end up losing in the end. I believe you guys can be casual friends from a distance, but please do not pressure her into anything. Once a woman knows that a man really likes them and wants a relationship more than them, they’ll take advantage and play with your heart. That’s human nature, we always look for weaknesses in people and use it to our advantage. Don’t come across desperate, play it cool. If she’s meant for you, she’ll come back to you eventually.

Put yourself first before anybody! Guard your heart and don’t purposely fall into a place of confusion for the sake of love. Take a step back and think it through. Goodluck

Thanks I really appreciate.. Saff

Thanks

Zinnyzee

Thanks.. MariaLavina... U r right though

QueenSekxy:
to be honest with you, you should just have to stick around her and don't ever force her to date you.
when the time comes, she will be the one to come around then, everything will happen naturally, but if you force her into dating you, she's gonna play ludo with your heart.

Thanks.. I wunt force her... That's why I came for ladies advice here on nairaland

chiommy123:
but that's her problem cos you told her how you felt. You're not going to force her na. are you?

No, i think

chiommy123:
Tell her how serious you wanna be with her if she still insist on not being ready emotionally then let her be and get someone else. Hope she doesn't come back to say you hurt her feelings

U understand what am trying to say... She may say I did Cox I didn't fight for her... Honestly if she told me that she can't date me Cox she is in a relationship.. I will just let her be forever and move on... I'm a man of time and value.. I value my time and career so much

Zinnyzee : try understand me, she didn't say she can't date me, but she said if she goes into relationship, what about her freedom? I told u she has friends a lot n male friends.. She sometimes hang out with them on campus but notin BTW them to my own personal understand

zinnyzee:
I believe that you may be over-analyzing the situation a bit because it sounds like you’re wanting to know why rather than what. The thing is, you may not want to know why she’s not ready.

Chemistry is just one of those things that you don’t have control of. Attraction is not a choice. She may just not be ready for a relationship with you, rather than in general. This happens all the time and while it could be the result of conflicting feelings for a past relationship; further speculation is unnecessary because it’s her business and she doesn’t have to explain herself to anyone. You already know what it means when a girl says, “I’m not ready for a relationship.” It’s only natural to want to understand why but the thing is, it's none of your business and I say this with all due respect.

If this is the case, give her the gift of space and be her friend. In fact, withdrawing yourself can take a lot of stress off of her which can actually work out better for you in the long run. Don’t think of her as someone that you need to wait for because you shouldn’t. Value yourself and prioritize what’s good for you because she isn’t going to do that for you

Good one..... I do under but u no ladies with playing victim (sorry to say this)... I understand that I shud give her space but what if she later says I didn't fight for her love.... If I give her space simply bcox she is not ready emotionally mainly bcoz of her freedom like I typed above, she is a free type... If I take my space, she may say I didn't love her truly and that you I didn't fight for her

sacramento1212:
How old is the girl in question?

I think 21 or 22 Sha... She is in level 1 moving to level 2 in a month time.. While I will be moving to level 4 too...

Makamuanwuo:
Prove ur self to her but doing something extra ordinary things.


Abeg don't ask me the things


All u need is extra ordinary things

Abeg just tell me bro... I will repackage them

sirusX:
I wonder if written words could depict tone of voice

Anywayz, you sound like you're vibrating over the matter and thus rushing into things

You need to calm down and understand yourself and understand the lady... especially what you want from the relationship

That way you can relate better with her and not seem so desperate for a relationship. Calm her fears and make her ease into the thought of being with you without feeling stifled

No I am not desperate..... I have to tell her this or never.... We have been friends for quite a while and bliv me, a lady knows what u want from the first day. So if I just keep quiet, I fit enter friend zone and I'm not in for friend zone.....