₦airaland Forum

Hello guys!

I need your advise.

I lost my Dad some months ago (Mum is late as well) and inherited the family house as the first child while my siblings inherited other properties (all in Lagos)

My immediate brothers are based abroad while the last born that stays in family house alone just informed me he considering UK Masters JAPA route. He's definitely leaving this September.

My main problem now is; how do I dispose off the household items? My initial long term plan is actually to travel down to Lagos (I work in another state) while on annual leave, list the household items online, remodel the Duplex into flats and rent them out.

Unfortunately, I cannot do that as I have exhausted my annual leave days for 2023. His decision to JAPA came abrupt else I would have planned myself.

Are there companies that handle sales of household stuffs in Lagos for people not physically present? I'm scared of being duped.

Another challenge is the house itself, how do I keep the house/compound busy? I've committed my resources to some on-going projects and so don't have spare cash for the house remodelling this year.

Is it wise to put a house under locks from September 2023 till January/February 2024 when i can take another vacation? I'm just confused.

In Yoruba culture, once you lose your parents or loved ones, people advise you not to allow people condoling with you place their hands on your back for whatsoever reason after the burial.

Can the 'spirit of death' really be "Transferred" from one person to another by mere placing of hands? 😲

Like to hear from the house.

Airpeace and Ibom Air.

Reason: They are new in the industry and so should have newer aircrafts.

UPDATE!!!

Hello guys!

Thanks for all the comments. We found them useful and very helpful.

My wife accepted the job offer. I took a 2 weeks leave and we relocated to the state, got an apartment and kids are now in a new school (Tomorrow will be their 1st day).

I have since returned to Lagos and I visit twice a month sometimes every 3 weeks. The phobia for flying is still there even after several flights but I am gradually overcoming it.

As God would have it, an internal recruitment came up in my organisation. I got the job and will be resuming in November. This means I will be joining my family fully pretty soon.

Thank you once again

Klass99:
Selfish lot. You guys need to quit this narrative that the more a woman earns the less respectful she becomes, there are exceptions to every rule, she may be one of those exceptions.

Some women are more crazy about family life, home and kids than money, they wouldn't want to lose that. If I were his wife and this was a UN job.....I move o! Make I go start work first, then we'll work out the modalities of the rest.

It's actually not hard for men to do so, when it serves their interest. A guy moved overseas with his wife and family, when wifey's company relocated her, it was one of this multinational oil companies.

Why didn't he choose to remain in Naija and visit as often as possible?

Ma'am, these are two different situations. If her job is one that involve moving abroad as an expatriate, I would relocate without blinking an eye.

I can do a menial job abroad (they pay fairly well) without shame till I secure a better job.

This is Naija

boldx:
Bro, take a short leave and let see your wife and family off to Abuja. Help them get a house, a school and let them settle down. Lesson: Women can

Then go back to Lagos to your job. Trust God for a way out with all your heart. As time goes on, you and your wife can make adjustments but please do NOT resign from your job for now. With time, this issue will be sorted out.

Thank you sir

I can NEVER resign. I only intend to seek a transfer to our Abuja branch. Branches are 'dead end' careerwise. Many would do almost anything to be in HQ.

psucc:
You can't eat your cake and have it. You must sacrifice one - the job or relationship.

By your analysis, over a million naira monthly do enter your family purse and you are still bent on Oliver Twist.

You get mind.

My wife is presently a contract staff. Relatively good pay but she can be asked to leave anytime.

This is the main reason she's taking up the job not just because of the pay.

It's actually a tough one. Most especially because the kids are pre-schoolers. The eldest is 4 years.

They are a bit stubborn/mischievous and need some iron hand occasionally. Their mum is the soft type

Things seem easy a bit now because we splits bills for house rents, fuel, home maintenance etc.. now we have to run two two homes (I could get a self contained though).

Monthly return flight ticket cost a fortune though

Also, note that it will take a big deal of effort on my part to convince my current supervisors that I want to leave them for Abuja.

They actually would be heartbroken because they almost always recommend me for promotion over the other guys I met in the new department.

Makes me feel like I am about to betray them but the truth for me is Family first over job/career for me.

LONG STORY ALERT!!!


Good afternoon Nairaland.

God has been so good to my family this year and a particular blessing has been giving us sleepless night.

I work with a big organisation here in Lagos and currently earn about N600k. I used to work in the branch since my entry level days 6 years ago until I was able to runz the head office movement.

Ever since I join the HQ two years, my life has been at ease. No weekend duties, no sickening pressures from customers. I have been able to develop my self, complete the professional courses I abandoned and can rest well on weekends/public holidays.

The worklife balance now isn't only the advantage of working at the HQ. The career progression and rapid promotion crowns it all.

My spouse earns a little above N400k and we manage ourselves well. Our combined income isn't that much but we've been able to achieve a lot due to our mutual cooperation. She commits her resources 100% into our home. Some people see me as a "big man" outside, no knowing I am actually enjoying the reward of marrying a good wife.

My wife recently got a job very lucrative job. Salary is about N1.5M monthly. She was on the process for close to a year. You can imagine our joy when she was eventually given an offer. This job is a huge one for us as a family and will make life more sweet.

My pain now is the job is based at Abuja and that means she has to relocate there with our kids. Abuja is not where I can drive to considering the security situation of Nigeria. Also, it won't be wise to fly down every week (I also have hidden phobia for heights ) because of costs and other attendant risks.

I actually want us to live together as a family most especially because of our kids. Some Kids tend to be spoilt when raised almost alone their mothers. As a father, I want to jointly raise them with their mother and also instill discipline in them appropriately.

The only solution on sight is to ask my company for redeployment to a branch at Abuja. This I fear might return me back to "Egypt". I.e days of stunted growth, no promotions. In summary, I am scared of killing my career by myself.

My wife is okay with us visiting each other every month but I am vehemently against it.

Someone please help