₦airaland Forum

Previous posts:

https://www.nairaland.com/8408230/mother-inlaw-selling-ogogoro-dry

https://www.nairaland.com/8416437/update-mother-in-law-selling-ogogoro


Good evening and happy new week, nlders

I called the officer in charge at the ministry of women affairs and social inclusions, IBADAN and she asked me to come this morning, so I set out for the journey around 8:30am.

It's quasi 1:00pm when I got to the ministry which Is located beside the NDLEA office. Immediately I introduced myself, the woman (officer in charge) called the MIL that she should make herself, wife and children available at her office (the phone was on speaker) and I was asked to go and stay outside while she's attending to other people with similar issues. They demanded for #4k i.e. 1k for the letter and 3k for the delivery of the letter at BARIKA

When it's half past 3:00pm, they didn't show up as promised and the woman had to call the mother in-law again and this time around her phone number was switched off, my babies Mama's phone number was not available too.

The officer in charge then told me that there's nothing they could do, she then advised to visit the office of the NSCDC office around Mokola roundabout or SANGO police station. I opted for SANGO police station and she directed me to a policewoman.


I got to the police station and explained my predicament to the policewoman, who demanded for a mobilization fee, I left the police station with the promise to come back. Initially the policewoman was reluctant, saying they don't normally meddle in a matter being handled by the Social Welfare office but she later agreed to assist

My instinct told me to quickly rushed down to their family house at BARIKA, UI second gate, just to check if the MIL was at home or not. The MIL, babies mama and the kids were no where to be found, the door was under lock and key.

Somebody directed me to other family members who are mainly women (the husbands are dead). I explained everything to them with anger and frustration written all over my face. The eldest of the 3 women told that they would see to it. I told them my request that all I wanted is the enrollment of the children in schools and I took my leave

The cost of transportation within Ibadan (town service) is very high plus other expenses at the welfare office, all these gulped my money. I got to the bus terminal at OJOO and I was told that the transport fare to ILORIN is #6,500. I only had 4k left left in my pocket and this was y I was asking for a financial help on NAIRALAND but nobody came to my aid

I opted for ONE CHANCE (4k with AC) and while on the transit, a man bought 3 sachet water and gave me 1, when we alighted and had no means of getting home, I approached the man again and he gave me #500.. The man is working with a research institute in IBADAN but he's from Ilorin, his younger brother married my ex ( the girl is hails Agbaluku -Arigidi, Ikare -Akoko Ondo state). She's also a resident of IBADAN.


UPDATE

I just received a call from NSCDC office at Agodi, Ibadan. They asked me to come but I told them the complainant should give them to bring the letter of invitation to me in ILORIN. I want her feel what I'm feeling, I have to Ibadan 5 times and now they want me to come again. The NSCDC official was telling me that I shouldn't do that.

I told her I was stranded yesterday when I came.

Update

Who's to blame for the communication gap

I called the officer in charge in Sunday to confirm, affirm and reaffirm before embarking on the journey on Monday morning (5th May,2025). She asked to come and I obliged

My wife gave a copy of the letter to NSCDC Agodi and I was called yesterday. The date on the letter as confirmed by the NSCDC is 6th May, 2025 ( Tuesday ) and not 5th May, 2025 (Monday)

While at the welfare office, they asked for money both for the letter and the delivery of the letter ( 1k for the letter and 3k for the delivery at BARIKA). I paid for the letter and promised to send the 3k to the UBA account provided. But when I heard that date is 6th and not 5th I decided not pay the 3k for the delivery.

The officer in charge have been disturbing me with calls to pay the money.

They want me to pay for the service poorly rendered, they are asking me to pay for a job not well done.

I was supposed to travel to IBADAN on Tuesday and not Monday 5th

Kizolalah82:
Are you trekking to kwara

Lol!! The money on me is not enough for the tfare to ILORIN

Drop something for me, abeg

I'm presently at OJOO in IBADAN

I'm stranded

80 81 68 05 34 PALMPAY

R. IBRAHEEM

I will provide an update when I get back home. I'm still trekking

Check the workshop where the car was sprayed and upgraded. Those people can't be trusted.

The sprayer, panel beater or auto electricians are suspects here, one of them might have duplicated the car key while working on it.

I gave a car to a sprayer. I was surprised when people were telling me that they saw my car at this and that. Each time I called the man he would say I went to buy this and that bla bla

frozen70:
If you really care for those children education and future

Ask them to release those children to you so that you can look after them

See these children will still blame you if everything turns bad for their future because their mum has already brainwashed them against you

So if you neglect them and leave them with her, then be prepared for them in any way

Thanks, that's going to be my request, I hope and pray that the request will be granted.

Kobojunkie:
. Let the courts decide what it will decide AFTER you have filed for custody and presented evidence/reason for your filing. Not many years ago, FFK filed and gained full custody of his baby in those same Nigerian courts after proving his wife was not competent to have him. Your case is different in that the woman in question is not a wife, but still, you could always argue that you are a more resourceful parent than your baby mama. That might help tip the court in your favor. I think shared custody would make sense in your case. I suggest you find and consult a lawyer first.

Ok

Kobojunkie:
. Unless the state they live in requires that all children of that age be enrolled in school, I don't see the meaningfulness of this request of yours. Plus, we are talking about Nigeria, where the court says one thing and does nothing at all. If you truly want your children to be in school, then you should be asking for custody of your kids so you can put them in school yourself.

2. Take your kids and put them in school yourself. I doubt the woman herself is interested in a relationship with you either, since she has been refusing your calls, and her mother also rejects your visits. If the woman does not show up tomorrow, ask the courts how to gain custody of the kids so you can ensure they are put in school, if not this term, maybe the next.

I don't think the court will grant me the custody of the children considering their age : 11 years, 7 years, 9 months


I always enjoy your input

Kobojunkie:
You better bring that picture of that woman down since you are violating her right by posting it. You are not married to the woman in question, nor are you then directly related to the MIL, therefore, you have no direct dealings with her. She has every right to accuse you of harassing her.

Your MIL did not accept the letter because, legally, she is not obligated to accept any letter from the courts that is not directed to her. Your woman is the one the letter is supposed to be addressed to, and she alone is the one obligated in this. As for what will happen if she does not show up, well, that all depends on a whole slew of things. Wait till you get to the courts and hear what should happen next. You may be required to get yourself a lawyer and the girl too.

Thanks , I have taken down the picture.

My request is simple and short. They should enrol the children in public schools, I will be sending you the necessary materials to the class teachers, this didn't go down well with the babies mama.

I just want the children in schools, I'm not interested in the relationship again

RepoMan007:
This picture can be used against you in court as some form of harrassment or cyberbullying. You know interpretation is everything and peoples perspective can be altered with money.

Thanks, I will remove it now

Tomorrow Monday (5th May, 2025) is the date set for us to meet at the Oyo state ministry of women affairs and social inclusions, ONIREKE, IBADAN.

I just spoke with the officer in charge and she told me that the mother in-law didn't accept the letter of invitation sent by the ministry. She said that when an officer got to the address,she met with women but she rejected the letter of invitation, so the officer called his office (ministry) to inform his superior about the refusal to accept the letter and he was asked to give the phone to the "MIL". They introduced her to tell my "wife" to make herself available tomorrow at the ministry.

I called my wife but she didn't respond to my calls, she's deflecting my calls

I called the officer in charge again to be very sure if these people will show up tomorrow, they ask me to come



My question is this

What if they didn't show up? What's the next step?

As the schools resumed last week, my children are not enrolled in schools, probably helping the MIL to sell OGOGORO in her shop. This is second week of RESUMPTION, out of 13 weeks that make up a term.

Considering the cost of transportation these days, I want to set out for the journey as early as possible

Kindly push to the front page, pls it's very urgent


Attached is the picture of the mother in-law, she lives @ BARIKA UI second gate (IBADAN)

Are u a politician? Only the politicians can afford this type of vegetable soup

sirqeeboi:
And they were requesting only Bsc for their teaching employment requirements this year while Oyo still employed HND and NCE as teachers.they want the best with low pay.

B.Sc. for senior secondary school teachers while NCE is for KWSUBEB teachers' recruitment l. No HND

I didn't skip the meal during my time, my meal ticket was complete, me that entered camp with less than 2k hoping that I would be able to use my ATM card, only for the camp official to cage us for 21 days

allen113:
Maybe the pay is not attractive.

The pay is VERY poor in KWARA STATE, how I wish teachers can also JAPA, imagine level 08 step 2 being paid 75k. Level 08 step 2 in Oyo is earning 120k


The difference between level 17 in KWARA and level 17 in Oyo state is 135k.


I have a colleague though from OYO STATE working in KWARA STATE, the wife and children are in OYO STATE, the wife just got an appointment in Oyo, her salary is far far better than that of the husband working in KWARA STATE, the husband is now seeking for INTERSTATE SERVICE TRANSFER.


THE SCALE OF SALARY IN KWARA STATE IS GENERALLY POOR -IT CUT ACROSS ALL BOARDS

BluntCrazeMan:
If I tell you that the man contributed up to 70% for them not being in school (even over there in Ibadan),, would you agree with me??

What is ₦30,200 for feeding and taking care of the kids?
And then, taking them to school.?

..

They feed first before going to school.

Read my other comments

30k is more than enough to enrol 2 children in primary 2 and JSS 1, after providing all other materials including sucks, sandals, exercise books

BluntCrazeMan:
1. You sent the educational items through a taxi driver.??
Like,, are there no recognized registered logistics company around you.??

So now,, do you know the taxi driver.?
Can you go back and ask the taxi driver if he really delivered the goods?

((..I guess you don't even know the driver sef..))

..

2. You knelt down and BEGGED the grandmother SEVERAL TIMES.!!

What exactly are you saying while you were begging for WHATEVER you were begging.??

The commercial driver is my UNCLE and this not the first time he's helping us. The MIL once sent him to her daughter. What I did was to collect his phone number

Just to release the wife and the children

luvme0702:
Where you beating her, cheating on her? What did you do to her that made her bring civil defense corps to you? Sending 30k to her to use for 3 kids in this present economy would be difficult for her to manage. She has 3 kids for you and you're yet to marry her, that shows you are irresponsible. No matter how small the wedding would be, you should have just formalized it. Go and beg her for forgiveness and do the right thing.

What stopped her from acquiring a skill? She has ND in business studies but could not manage small scale businesses and also refused to learn a skill

nedekid:
Na wah, being born in naija is already a disadvantge, an own goal, being taken care of properly, stable environment, educated gives a fighting chance out of default poverty for a kid.
Who wants his child to go to a N2,500-6000 school for goodness sake? Chisos! And you say you sent the mama money for school enrolment, 30k for 3 kids, as oga sabinus will say CHISOS! chisos!.
Bros you can do better, put in more effort to secure the future of those innocent kids.
On the alternative, you know society will always need drivers, bus conductors, house helps, manual labourers etc just as we need doctors, civil servants, engineers, traders. Society needs people to fill those roles. Some folks might not mind their offsprings being the first group I mentioned, afterall agberos seem to be the richest folks around these days thanks to empowerment by apc and oga at the top. There is hope when you consider people like Mr Oluomo.

Only 2 children are of school going age, one is in JSS 1 and the other is in primary 2. SUBEB is using TAB across the state to teach these pupils. Don't forget I'm a teacher in one of the public secondary schools in the state. NCE, B.Sc.Ed, Msc in view. I'm a Science pedagogue


The 3rd child is 7 months old.

Thanks for your contribution

Fiscus105:
Go to Oyo State high court, ask them where family court is located, wen they describe it for you, go to the venue, ask for people in charge, tell them you want to file a case. They would tell you what to do.

Meanwhile, you can also go back to ministry of women affairs, tell them to direct you to family court,that you want to charge your wife to court.

Thanks a lot

deltateam:
Now the true reason for her behavior has been unveiled.

If you ask experts, they will tell you that girls with puff puff (small) breasts have anger issues.

I've noticed it too.

Lol

Kobojunkie:
There was no leap required here.🙄🙄

You are the father of the children, and you are not married to their mother— her baby mama status is made clear by you. And you also have made no serious legal attempts to claim them as your own in 11 years — you said the eldest is 11 at this time. Not long ago, you kicked your baby mama and the 3 children out of the house, and since then they have been living as your baby mama's mother as her apprentices in her store, while their unemployed mother is probably out somewhere making plans to move on to the next man who would cater to her whims. Now, here you are blaming your baby mama's mother for not letting you see the kids after you supposedly called their mother to let her know you were on your way to see them. What exactly did you expect them to do for you? All gather together to come embrace you like some king arriving at their door? 🙄🙄

Again, go to the courts and file for custody of the kids if you are indeed serious about your children having a better life. 🙄🙄

Thanks in million!!!

This was the advice from the office of OYO STATE GOVERNMENT, I sent a message and this was the reply I got, though I was directed to THE MINISTRY OF WOMEN AFFAIRS AND SOCIAL INCLUSIONS, ONIREKE, I was given a phone number of an officer on level 17


The man also directed me to an officer, who's currently handling the situation. We are probably going to meet on 5/5/ 2025. Especially on the education of the children.

If u are in IBADAN, I will want u to be present

Kobojunkie:
Dude... she is not the problem, you are!

What made jump into conclusion?

Kobojunkie:
A 38-year-old woman hides on the instructions of her mother from a man she has 3 kids with? E be like say you never serious at all!

Honestly, I'm very serious.

She will clock 39 on 14th September, 2025

14/09/1988

eniolorunfe:
Why are you using the words “wife” and “MIL” You said it yourself that you’re yet to pay the bride price of the 38 year old woman that bore you three kids. If you’re the wife’s family, will you be happy to welcome “the man” that has refused to do right by their daughter into your home?

Lol!! I didn't want to use BABIES MAMA

Kobojunkie:
1. You are 41, more educated than most, yet you still resort to telling stories that have no heads or tails. Why?

2. You informed her, and she chose to hide instead of facing you. Why drag MIL when your wife is the one avoiding you? Focus on your wife whom you need to take to court if you are indeed interested in gaining custody of your kids, abeg!

Abandon all this meaningless drama if you are really interested in ensuring your kids are better taken care of. The woman has shown you she would rather have the kids work as ogogoro sales reps. Take her to court if you are serious and take your children to a place where they can be raised and cared for better by you(assuming that is really your intention here).

They hide on the instruction of the MIL. A neighbor told me

Kobojunkie:
. I don't understand? Are you right here pretending that your wife was hidden, against her own will, by her own mother? Dude, how old are you?

2. I don't understand. Your wife hid herself and the children from you, had her mother lie, and here you are blaming your mother? When you are ready to face up to your responsibilities as a father, you will grow some real hard balls, match into the courts, file for custody of your kids as a real father ought to, and take full responsibility, if needed, for raising them as you ought to. This back and forth is pointless since you have yet to take the first steps. 🤔

I'm 41 and she's 38.

My point is this. I informed my wife when I arrived OJOO that will soon be at their family house at BARIKA, so when I got there, the MIL wasn't around and I didn't c my wife. So I used the opportunity to interrogate some neighbours and that's when the truth was revealed. The MIL arrived like 2 hours after and met me in front of the house, she wanted to DENY their presence in that house, not knowing that some people had already told me

Kobojunkie:
Well, since you know your way to the Ministry of Women's Affairs and Social Inclusions, why not inquire from there at least?

Anyways, I did a simple Google search of the Family court in Oyo, Ibadan, and Google pointed me to the following location.

➜ Oyo State High Court
➜ The Oyo State Family Court At The High Court Of Justice, Iyaganku, Ibadan.
Address: 9VJF+G4F, Adebo Street, New Gra, Ibadan 200273, Oyo, Nigeria
Aboderin Layout, Ring Road, PMB 5031, Nigeria
➜ Ibadan Customary Courts
Court: Ojaoba Mapo Customary Court
https://customarycourtcases.blog.yorku.ca/ibadan-customary-courts/

Thanks

Kobojunkie:
By whom? The courts or your wife?

The MIL hide them (the wife and the children) despite the fact that I called my wife and informed her of my arrival at OJOO bus terminal.

I was told by the natives/locals that the children are staying with the MIL, the MIL was trying to DENY it. One even said he just sent my daughter on errand

Kobojunkie:
Calling her for what when you, the papa of the kids, no wan go take your own children back from her? Stop with the attempts to offload your private responsibility onto the woman. They are your children, so go there and assert your right and take them back from their mother, who has proven she is not a better alternative, assuming you are ready to be a better parent to them than she has been so far.

Pls, read my other comments. I wasn't allowed to c them last week Friday (18th)

Kobojunkie:
. Stop repeating this tale! Your kids are meant to be raised by you, not by your mother. 🙄

Also, you can get custody of your children before they turn 18. Why are you not pursuing that, but are running around trying to put all the blame on the same woman you chose to have your 3 kids with? 🙄

Kindly enlighten me. How do I go about it? Pls

Do u know about any family court in IBADAN?