₦airaland Forum

Marrying from IBADAN

Sangavani:
You write very well and are articulate, and I really pity for you in this sad situation of yours.

Please make sure to never forsake your children because if or when you are very wealthy you will always have regrets that you could have done better, even if you marry again and have another set of children, that regret will take a very big part of your heart.

If you can, although very hard for any gender in this economic situation to do alone, but take the children away from your wife and Mother in law and raise them yourself. You seem to be well educated but not that exposed and very unlucky with the spouse you chose.( you may consider resolving if it has not gone far,far is adultery or threat to life)

Infact, probably not yet as financially buoyant as you ought to be, but if you think you can leave your children to go and make money without issues, your children may hate you for abandoning them even if you send them whatever you think they need like money provisions and clothes.

Take them away from your wife and Inlaws if they insist on ruining their lives by exposing them to vices, and train them in the right way by yourself.

That is if you are Man enough.

Thank you

Dogalmighty17:
Lazy journalism. There is no way kayan Mata can cause FGM. That's absurd.

No correlation between kaya mata and FGM

Ok

funmibi29:
Good afternoon Nairalanders,
I had an encounter like this at the same office. I went to their office to make a former report and to invite my wife and mother in law. I paid the same amount you paid. They even directed me to a man like that at the government house to give the money to buy The following week my wife responded to the invitation and came. I met with the officer a woman named Mrs Adenrele at the welfare office. To cut the long story short , what we concluded there with in the presence of my wife was that I will be paying money for the upkeep of my daughter and she will be coming to their office to collect it every 2 months because she stays at Ijebu Igbo and whenever she is coming she will come with my child for me to see . I did it for sometimes but I couldn't see my child and the welfare continue giving her the money contrary to our agreement not knowing that the welfare officer name Aderenle Mrs has collaborated with my wife and mother in law. I stopped sending money once I noticed and the woman started calling me that I have not send the previous month. I told her straight that am not sending since am not seeing my child. She is so callous, it's an office that should be eradicated since is not giving results. All what they know is money,and money. I will advice you not to waste your precious time and money. Just say a prayer for your child.

The officer in charge here is Mrs. Alaumi.

I sent a message to OYO STATE GOVERNMENT and I was given a phone number of a level 17 officer (Mr. Latif ARIORI), the man directed me to Mr. Badmus, who later assigned Mrs. Alaumi as the officer in charge.

I was misinformed, the correct date on the letter is 6th and not 5th May,2025. I even called her the previous day (Sunday 4th) and she gave me go ahead. This was y I went there on Monday 5th


I want to be sending the money directly to the school purse to avoid being scammed by the Hungry BABIES MAMA and her mother. I want to be dealing directly with the public schools (Primary and secondary schools). Being a teacher in one of the public schools in KWARA STATE, it will be difficult for them to scam me.

For example, I won't pay for a DICTIONARY 3 TIMES (DIC, TION, ARY), but if it were to be private schools I will easily be scammed. This what I'm trying to avoid.

appleous:
May God never barb me this style in Jesus' name.

I wonder how you had so many kids with this kind of person.

If you have no discipline, you might decide to sleep with just any kind of person, but there are some people you shouldn't sire kids with.

Not to sound classist, but having kids with the daughter of an Ogogoro seller?

You laid your bed, you are now being forced to lie on it, and having nightmares.

Cut your losses and move on, as it is clear you don't even have the financial capacity to fight the daughter of an Ogogoro and her mother.

Move on!!!

She was a devoted Muslim, she just ventured into OGOGORO business late last year

Update

I received another call today from NSCDC Agodi that they would come to my place of work to arrest me if I failed to come to IBADAN on Monday 12th May, 2025.

But the KWARA STATE command of the NSCDC (gender unit and tracking unit) were fully aware of the matter right from the beginning. I even paid #20k for tracking her when their whereabouts was not known

After 5 weeks of unsuccessful tracking, my money was refunded.

I would find time to visit the KWARA STATE Command of the NSCDC

xavuv:
Great observation. Toymax, pls take note

I have taken note. Thanks

IsellSmartTvs:
There’s a reason why there are only women left in their family houses,you too are also embarking on part of the reason
Give yourself peace,Time heals lot of our problem

Noted with thanks.

Na frustration they take kill their husbands

elmagnifico411:
don’t how we humans became this unfair to ourselves.. from your comment, it shows you didn’t read his previous posts on the matter which he even posted the link before rounding the story up. You’d have seen where wrote that he sent money, clothes and other stuff to them, where he even mentioned paying their fees directly to the head teacher of the school they would be attending, just so that their mom don’t tell lies about their schooling.


Going back and forth from Ilorin to ibadan has cost him a lot, one of the reasons he became flat the last time he went there, and had to ask for 500 naira to get to his area. Make Una Dey calm down for nairaland. All the comments before yours were “go and make money. Get rich and see them coming back for you” na so e easy?
And it’s not as if he is not working. Make Una Dey calm down digest people story well before commenting. He even mentioned that he’s tried setting her up business wise 3-times, all wasted. all the people saying go and work on yourself, go and make money, how much Una don get??

May Almighty Allah continue to bless you

HaneefahRN:
Something you should have gone to Agidigbo instead so they can be called out. Keep disturbing yourself with police and welfare

I have been to agidigbo, Sanisile, Iwo road.

They didn't show up. The first form I procured at Agidigbo expired. I was told to come and procure another form at #10,200.

Sharpsharp00123:
she will win op anywhere so far op isn't financial buoyant that everyone can see, when it comes to cases like this, the woman tend to have upper hand cos nature believe women are wired to take care of young ones men are wired to go out n bring money

I'm not reach, but averagely ok. I have the resources to take care of the kids. Though I'm asking for the custody of the kids, I only want them enrolled in public schools in IBADAN.

Thanks for your input

showboy2301:
If I can tell you the truth, I will ask you to either leave the kids with your MIL. Firstly, they will use the kids to drain you because they know that you are emotionally attached to them. (I know what I'm saying here) Another thing is that you should start a new life and ignore your past, if you don't want to kill yourself. Start doing what gives you joy. Don't think about talking to the kids anymore. The MIL and your woman will soon start running after you. Also get yourself a friend, possibly a woman.

Noted with thanks

Sunmars:
Jeez! Some of you have comprehension problem. He wants the kids to go to school. He is not fighting for custody.

Thanks

Sunmars:
While I went want to agree with you, these are his kids we are talking about right here. Children are like buildings. If the foundation is not well laid, there might be problems in future and then the opportunity is lost to correct it. All he wants is just to for his kids to be attending school. What kind of evil mother will resist this?
My brother op, just do your best as God has enabled you. I wish you luck. Dont relent

Thanks

salem1996:
Can you drop your WhatsApp contact for me please?

08081680534

Thank you

RISQUE:
No dey disturb us with d wahala wey you carry your hand cause. Carry your cross , you hear?

Lol

altteemy:
@kobojunkie, what he is chasing now is that his kids be sent to school instead of being used by the grandmother to hawk ogogoro.

Thanks

Kobojunkie:
Nonsense! You have no legal right to assault another human being, and so you may end up having criminal charges leveled against you in this. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

2. Well, you could have simply taken those to the police and had the police require her to pay you back for the damage. You reaching out to assault her is a completely different thing entirely. You made things bad for yourself there. Stay away from her and your mother from this point on, at least or she might even consider reporting you as a stalker.

Noted

Kobojunkie:
Assault is a criminal offense, and that there could work against you ever getting your kids or anything for that matter.

But no smoke without fire!!! Like I said earlier, she's destructive. I have the pictures of all the household items she destroyed which I had wanted to present as evidence.

Rodent

Kobojunkie:
What did she report you for since she obviously is not there for the same issue that you are trying to get her for? If she reported you as a stalker or someone trying to kidnap her children, then I suggest you maybe keep back from her and her mother from now on. 🤔

For giving her a slap after she frustrated me

Kobojunkie:
You went to a police station to do what exactly? And you said NSCDC asked you to come do what exactly? I thought you had a court case? What did the courts decide? 😐😐😐

I was directed from the welfare office to either go to NSCDC or police station, so I opted for police station, she then asked me ask for a particular policewoman

Today I received a call from NSCDC, Agodi, Ibadan. My babies mama went there to report the matter. We spoke at length and the female cop later asked me to come on Monday next week. I told the cop to bring writ of summon (letter of invitation), the complainant should sponsor the delivery of the letter.

yomi007k:
I think it is time for you to stop chasing after your woman and the mother -in-law. It will be better to invest the money on yourself as you are beginning to run low on funds too. Go and make money bro.


Let your conscience be at peace that you tried to do the right thing. I assure you the mother of your kids will wish she accepted your help but she is also under control of a M-I-L that will meet her waterloo soon.

You seem desperate to get the kids and the woman will use it on you.

Thanks

shortgun:
There's no way to tell what your story is all about.
Why were you at the welfare office?
What or who is MIL?
The children that you want enrolled in school, how are they connected?

Kindly check my previous posts

MrDik3:
This sounds like a serious issue, Although there is no introduction, so it seems disjointed.

Also, I want to point out that the policewoman demanding mobilization fee should lose her job.

Introduction? Kindly elucidate

Previous posts:

https://www.nairaland.com/8408230/mother-inlaw-selling-ogogoro-dry

https://www.nairaland.com/8416437/update-mother-in-law-selling-ogogoro


Good evening and happy new week, nlders

I called the officer in charge at the ministry of women affairs and social inclusions, IBADAN and she asked me to come this morning, so I set out for the journey around 8:30am.

It's quasi 1:00pm when I got to the ministry which Is located beside the NDLEA office. Immediately I introduced myself, the woman (officer in charge) called the MIL that she should make herself, wife and children available at her office (the phone was on speaker) and I was asked to go and stay outside while she's attending to other people with similar issues. They demanded for #4k i.e. 1k for the letter and 3k for the delivery of the letter at BARIKA

When it's half past 3:00pm, they didn't show up as promised and the woman had to call the mother in-law again and this time around her phone number was switched off, my babies Mama's phone number was not available too.

The officer in charge then told me that there's nothing they could do, she then advised to visit the office of the NSCDC office around Mokola roundabout or SANGO police station. I opted for SANGO police station and she directed me to a policewoman.


I got to the police station and explained my predicament to the policewoman, who demanded for a mobilization fee, I left the police station with the promise to come back. Initially the policewoman was reluctant, saying they don't normally meddle in a matter being handled by the Social Welfare office but she later agreed to assist

My instinct told me to quickly rushed down to their family house at BARIKA, UI second gate, just to check if the MIL was at home or not. The MIL, babies mama and the kids were no where to be found, the door was under lock and key.

Somebody directed me to other family members who are mainly women (the husbands are dead). I explained everything to them with anger and frustration written all over my face. The eldest of the 3 women told that they would see to it. I told them my request that all I wanted is the enrollment of the children in schools and I took my leave

The cost of transportation within Ibadan (town service) is very high plus other expenses at the welfare office, all these gulped my money. I got to the bus terminal at OJOO and I was told that the transport fare to ILORIN is #6,500. I only had 4k left left in my pocket and this was y I was asking for a financial help on NAIRALAND but nobody came to my aid

I opted for ONE CHANCE (4k with AC) and while on the transit, a man bought 3 sachet water and gave me 1, when we alighted and had no means of getting home, I approached the man again and he gave me #500.. The man is working with a research institute in IBADAN but he's from Ilorin, his younger brother married my ex ( the girl is hails Agbaluku -Arigidi, Ikare -Akoko Ondo state). She's also a resident of IBADAN.


UPDATE

I just received a call from NSCDC office at Agodi, Ibadan. They asked me to come but I told them the complainant should give them to bring the letter of invitation to me in ILORIN. I want her feel what I'm feeling, I have to Ibadan 5 times and now they want me to come again. The NSCDC official was telling me that I shouldn't do that.

I told her I was stranded yesterday when I came.

Update

Who's to blame for the communication gap

I called the officer in charge in Sunday to confirm, affirm and reaffirm before embarking on the journey on Monday morning (5th May,2025). She asked to come and I obliged

My wife gave a copy of the letter to NSCDC Agodi and I was called yesterday. The date on the letter as confirmed by the NSCDC is 6th May, 2025 ( Tuesday ) and not 5th May, 2025 (Monday)

While at the welfare office, they asked for money both for the letter and the delivery of the letter ( 1k for the letter and 3k for the delivery at BARIKA). I paid for the letter and promised to send the 3k to the UBA account provided. But when I heard that date is 6th and not 5th I decided not pay the 3k for the delivery.

The officer in charge have been disturbing me with calls to pay the money.

They want me to pay for the service poorly rendered, they are asking me to pay for a job not well done.

I was supposed to travel to IBADAN on Tuesday and not Monday 5th

Kizolalah82:
Are you trekking to kwara

Lol!! The money on me is not enough for the tfare to ILORIN

Drop something for me, abeg

I'm presently at OJOO in IBADAN

I'm stranded

80 81 68 05 34 PALMPAY

R. IBRAHEEM

I will provide an update when I get back home. I'm still trekking

Check the workshop where the car was sprayed and upgraded. Those people can't be trusted.

The sprayer, panel beater or auto electricians are suspects here, one of them might have duplicated the car key while working on it.

I gave a car to a sprayer. I was surprised when people were telling me that they saw my car at this and that. Each time I called the man he would say I went to buy this and that bla bla