₦airaland Forum

I dont know what's confusing you. I do not think Marriage does such a thing. I think however, that People's approach and reactions to what happens in their marriage is what affects them.

optional1:
Lolz

So ur elder bro come give girl pot belle bah.

Nah... Far from it. Just that the guy sabi commit sha and someone had to be placed in the spotlight tso the focus can be taken away from me. The guy collected money for textbooks from both mum and dad. So when they found out, they started preaching him and my matter died.

During the penpal and post office mail era, I got this letter from one secondary school crush and mistakenly forgot it on the couch in the sitting room after reading. My dad saw it and showed my mum. Dont ask me what happened, even I dont want to remember how I became the prayer topic + the Judas amongst the 12 for months, until my elder bro committed and took the title away from me. Chai...

Lol, op, I feel you. I recently had this kind of ish. Though in my case, she's a friend and not a relative, came from school as well, is also as young as your cousin, but we are both ladies, not guys. Mine is different however because I did enjoy her company sha, despite the pickiness.

For me, I try to provide what I can in my house and cook when I can too. I shared the cooking chores. I make breakfast, she makes dinner because I'm hardly available at lunch, she fends for herself. It wasn't easy still because she can sabi worry for Africa.

In your case though, here's what I suggest:

1. Provide the necessary supplies at home.
2. Dont plan meals together with him. Tell him to feel free to eat whatever he wants. That way, he can't come to tell you to cook what is not available since you are both men and he's even younger so he can't send you to the kitchen.
3. Try and talk to him to be disciplined. Like someone said, except he has allergies, he has no reasons to be picky. So he should either eat what's available or.... Choose your option(give him money to go eat outside or tell him to starve ni. Also, it's not proper to be picky when you are visiting. You try not to inconvenience your host and you take what you are offered.
4. Meet him halfway. Find out what he likes most and try to see that it's always available. In my case, my friend loves rice and stew with turkey. So I never lacked stew at home, she could boil rice.
5. Above all, try and endure, not because of some family bull crap, but because this is a lesson. Your child might be like that tomorrow and if u aren't a strong disciplinarian to stand on your words, you'll have to compromise.

Good luck

Mskrisx:
TR1212....oh lawdy lawd! What is happening?? Madam pls run oooo chaiiii

You have come again o...

Op, God is your strength. I don't think I can say anything better than most reasonable people have said here. You are already taking care of yourself and kids while living with him. So you are risking your life now. Gather money like someone said and leave his house. But before th n, make sure his people and police are aware so he doesn't come for your kids. Run for your dear life o, RUN!

pcguru1:
I forgot to ask how's the new job going now ? Fun, engaging?

Not as much... But all good. I thank God. Good morning. Howdy?

izzou:

Izzou why are you laughing nah? See, I suspect this guy. Pcguru1, I'm sure this guy is up to some mischief. Hide your wife to be o, I'm suspecting him already.

Mskrisx:
Hahhahhaa....

Be tight chick...e no gree

Be rugged.....e no gree

Oya get rugged cartels... Still no

Babe u see am?? U see am?? TR1212 whatcha saaaay??

Babe, this ain't funny. If you heard some of the reasons why some women stick to these beasts of husbands, you would even bring belt to flog them some more.
I keep saying that people should learn to be responsible for whatever happens to them in certain cases. This is one of them. If this man beats this woman to death, I will partly blame her.

some women will go to the market and even tear their clothes to fight, claim to be the biggest babes in the area, but they can't defend thmselves from domestic corwards? Well yes, some may not be able to, but why not WALK AWAY NA BY FORCE TO STAY MARRIED TO HIM??

@coolcharm said something in the first page: "I will make an example of any man that treats my sister or daughter like that". Women should borrow that line but also add "ME" to the "sister and daughter"!! If you can't fight, get someone who can fight for you or RUN for your life!! Even God will blame you if you return to him via domestic violence.

pcguru1:
Recently I have been going to the stadium to exercise and met some cool pwepa in fact after exercise we now got to a Beer parlour and relate and surprise surprise most of them work in nice places. Met a beautiful lady last week she looked alot like my future wife did you go for the GTB Food Fest ?

No. I didn't go for the fest. Reason is partly because Gtb has been quite annoying to me lately, I don't even want to hear their name in my dreams. Then partly because you didn't show up as agreed. Don't ask me when u agreed o, even me sef no know.

Congratulations on the future wife prospect

Lol, Izzy u won't understand. I tell u

izzou:
Men and sex sef

Try meeting people physically. So many kids are using the Internet these days,thanks to techno and globacom

I wish you well. I hope you find a guy that you will fall in love with and vice versa, and it will later lead to pre wedding pics , and then lead to....... you know and in nine months time, I and pcguru1 will come and shoppp rice

Have fun

Lol... Thanks izzou... I quite appreciate you jor. And thanks for your nice wishes too. However, this thread is not just to meet guys o. It's also for the lady folks and I have met one nice babe here already. Though crazy as hell, but really nice.

In fact, I could use more of the ladies now than the guys, I think I'd prefer that even, for my peace of mind.

Hernyolar:
Welcome to Lagos... I just moved to Lagos this month and I'm really not loving the city... traffic, sometimes I feel like crying...plus passengers and conductors swearing..I leave home early and no matter how hard I try, I still get home late..
Anyways, I heard I will get used to it overtime.
So, please officially welcome me to Lagos

Sometimes u feel like crying eh, lol... Chai... Sorry, but I think I actually cried myself. I don't get to do the early departures and late returns due to the nature of my job o, but the traffic is killing! Worst is the idea of lapping in public transport. You see two grown fat asses, one lapping the other, and eventually, a bus of 14 seaters would be carrying 20/22 passengers! They even do it in Keke maruwa!! So risky!!

May God help us o. Welcome to Lagos abeg.

izzou:
Lol

What about the remaining 70%?

Lol... Well I won't lie, there are some pretty nice people on here too. Don't get me wrong. 70% of that 70% are yeye "kids" in old men bodies. They want to talk about nothing but their cassava. The nice ones aren't even more than 10% if at all they're up-to, and it's because of those nice ones that I haven't closed this thread.

pcguru1:
Hehehe welcome to Lagos you're lucky they even told you sef how you dey ? Having fun ?

My brother, some didn't tell me o. I just use my head ni. And when I carelessly mention it in a way that they can't deny it, they shamelessly tell you they're not kids. Really? ?? Worst is that some of these people are really young o, both in age and marriage, and that makes me wonder what they hell is happening in marriages these days!!

So I pleaded, and stated it explicitly, yet, 30% of the guys that contacted me are married. Some are even serious agbayas.

Could I be anymore clear people? NO MAREIEND MEN!!! Make una face una wives na. I cannot fit shout Biko!!!

Company account ko. Your salon get corporate instagram account. Chai...bros easy with the lie nah

connkg:
TR1212: Looked-up those sites? Are they fitting?

Which please

They had able bodied men there, nigerians inclusive but their stupid laziness and jealousy wouldn't let them and they maimed and chased many away in the name of xenophobia. Now they are looking for men to impregnate their women. Make they just wait eh, their next census will reveal that they'll soon go into extinction.

Even though ayam not understanding wetin concern Florida and snake with naija, I still don't know why a sane person would keep a poisonous cobra in a home. I swear, these Americans are crazy.

I don't know why people make a fuss about other people's lives, marriages, etc. In life, and marriage most especially, there are no set rules. What applies to Mr A might not work for B. That you don't like it doesn't mean another doesn't and one shouldn't impose their choices or preferences on others. It's all about individual differences.

A former colleague of mine will never be seen without artificial nails. She never carries her natural hair and she never carries one hairstyle for more than 2weeks. These I came to realise do not even make her happy, she does them because her husband wants her that way. This definitely affects her chores at home so much that their little baby girl stays with her mum. Who's to say her husband doesn't step in to do some chores just so she can look good for him?

It's all about choices op. I think you should let the couples be. Whatever works for them, let them do nah. Personally, i wouldn't want that in my marriage but who gives a rats azz what goes on in other people's homes when it's not affecting me?

OK @shevon. Thanks for your words. I appreciate.

@ heavenlychy, thank you. And feel free to holla. I'd appreciate that.

Cheers

Hmmmm.... So I've been in touch with some nice people and some seemingly nice people too(well, pardon me, I haven't met some), but I haven't heard from any lady!!!

Ladies really, I'm for real. I'm not a lesbian o. I just need to have me some really nice ladies around too. Don't worry, I won't ask you to the movies if I can't pay for myself at least . Abi Lagos babes be like Abuja babes too? Because Abuja girls can sabi form for Africa?? Chai!!!

Good morning everyone. I wish us all a nice day ahead!!

Cheers!!

izzou:
I am hustling one way or the other sha. Something will definitely come up. I just need something decent and sure to start my life(hope to get married at 26 )

Thanks for the encouragement bro. God bless you

Hang in there bro. Soon you shall look back and be telling stories like: "I remember when I was job hunting" it won't be long, just hang in there

shevon:
Nne, are you for real? You don't know what Yahoo plus plus is? You really need a friend, no plenty "good" friends in Lagos.
Biko, make friends that will tell you the truth and always have your back. Though we fall in the age group of ya friend list, marriage don knock us off. But, hey, not all married people are bad or are gossips or are after singles or don't need single friends they can hang out with once in a while. You can learn a thing or two from them too.
All the same, best of luck with you friend hunting and welcome to Las Gidi.

I am for real o. Biko tell me. Or you won't tell me because marriage has "knocked you out".

And once again I apologise for this restriction. They're all made out of experience. At some point I was thinking I was cursed with married men. Yes you could have a couple of good married friends. Some could be more useful and valuable most times, but I've had to loose some nice friends because one thing started leading to another for them. I no fit shout biko. But Pls, what's yahoo ➕ ➕??

darbeelicous:
.....he told me that he loves me and I said I love him back! then we started dating.....

I think this is the funniest joke of 2017

^^^^ OK

Pcguru1, text must change o. I am already interested in learning how that's possible. Besides, you posted that without being sure? Chai...

izzou:
Lol

Its always good to put a range in whatever you looking for. I personally am just 24 but like you said,saying hi once in a while won't hurt.

Lagos is fun,if you want it to be fun. Attend events,seminars and fun spots and believe you me,you will have so much friends.

BTW: I need a job oh. Incase your company dey find any entry level or graduate Intern,help your nairaland friend abeg

Namaste

Thanks dear NL friend. Don't worry, job will come and soon enough too. Just keep warming up for the stress that comes with it because you'll need all your energy then. See, pcguru1 already has suggestions for you. So trust God. I will also keep an ear down for you if you can answer his question about your qualifications.

Namaste

Lol... Chai... Pcguru1 and izzou, you guys are making me feel bad. Really, if you knew the number of kids (and adults with childish mentality) on nairaland, you would understand why I put the age restrictions. At least this way, whoever is contacting me would know I expect better.

But what the hell, you can say hi via SMS. Even though pcguru can be troublesome sometimes, Its good to be and handle some "fun crazy" once a while.

Thanks @ pcguru1, odunharr.

@luxy44, as funny as that sounds, it's still a good question. I am single, yes, but this post isn't for that. I genuinely need friends for company in Lagos, for quality fun times, outings, idea sharing, positive moments etc. However, if something better comes in the process, why not? After all, for me, whoever will be my husband has to first of all, and even subsequently, be my friend. My Best Friend. Very important

Good morning guys. Nice day and week ahead.

Pidgin2:
I have one advice for you, make sure you stay close to where you work, it's essential to enjoy Lagos.

Enjoy your stay dear

Thanks. I do stay near my place of work, but I ain't feeling the town yet. Probably because I'm not in the city center. In any case, thanks alot. I appreciate!!

Zoharariel:
Dear TR1212,

The council of the irunmoles welcome you to the city of aquatic splendour.

And since you're in your early 30's looking to settling down & I'm in my late 30's, who knows, I could be the king Solomon of Ijebu that you've been seeking, and you - my Queen of Sheba; ofcourse, that is after I must have vetted & made sure every organ in your body are still working properly particularly your womb. (sorry, that was me trolling)

Now, adjusting to the lifestyle & system in Lagos can be a very demanding task, but there are some misconceptions by people who are visiting for the first time or those who have just relocated.

Lagos - no doubt, can be a very noisy place, overcrowded, & plagued with traffic, but you can be sure that there is more to Lagos than this.

The first thing you should do since you've just relocated to Lagos is to set aside the negative stories you have heard about Lagos, and focus on the fact that those who are coping in Lagos do not have some extraordinary powers.

So, below are 5 Do’s and 5 Don’ts that can act as a guide to your acclimatizing in Lagos.


The Do's


1.) Be Courteous: Be respectful and calm; learn to say sorry if there is a little disagreement.

2.) Be Smart: There are great landmarks, and outstanding structures everywhere in Lagos. It’s okay to be amazed by what you see; but staring for too long may make you seem lost and uncertain, hence highlighting you as a viable prey.

3.) Be Bold: Never look frightened even when the bus conductors shout and roar, just keep still without fidgeting, most of their threats are empty. Gently make your points clear, state your claim accurately, and many others will join your cause and probably fight your fight; that’s the Lagos spirit.

4.) Be Flexible: Don’t get all worked up with thoughts of Lagos as a challenging terrain. Remember that not everyone in Lagos is out to snatch your belongings like you may have heard from fables.

5.) Be Modest: You shoudn't dress provocatively - and, if you must be flamboyant and extravagant in your dressing, then you must try to avoid using public buses. Get a taxi to drive you around town, that way you stand less chance of having your purse snatched, pocket picked or being robbed.


The Don'ts


1.) Don’t Give Your Trust easily: That someone is looking all smart and affluently clad in a suit or some awesome regalia does not mean you can go on and totally trust the person. Infact, that is the trademark of the Yahoo-Yahoo & the Yahoo-Plus-Plus

2.) Don’t Loiter About At Night: Unless you have a valid ID card and have become really familiar with the area, otherwise you might sleep in a police cell.

3.) Don’t Be Greedy: Beware of people who will approach you saying: “me come from Cameroon to get dollar to change”. Truth be told, they are scam artists.

4.) Don't Become A P.rostitute: Well, more than half of all the women in Lagos are p.rostitutes but you shouldn't fret when you see them going to church every sunday morning to proclaim the name of Yahweh.

You must be very careful not to join this bad & unholy gang. Lastly, you should know I am not writing this epistle for fun or to impress anybody. I have simply written it for you so that in less than 6months, I can be able to plant my seed in your womb & eat the fruit of labour.

Chai.... This must be the funniest post I've had to read today.

Thank you o, Mr zoharariel. I really do appreciate your post and will take your advice to heart. But Pls, which one is yahoo plus plus nah??