₦airaland Forum

Almaiga:
Good luck as you search for Friends.

Lol. Thank you.

Mikelowe:
First and foremost, I welcome u to Lagos, am sure u ll enjoy your stay..your desire to make new friends in Lagos is largely a good one..one needs a pal to chill with after going tru d vicissitudes of life and aridity of Lagos(most esp) but also, u need not throw caution into the air when doing..within your residence, u can make friends and as days rolls into week, week into months u ll make new friends.. Once more, welcome to Lagos.. I am Mike

Thanks Mike. For the warm welcome and sound advice. I appreciate. Hope u having a nice Sunday

juman:
Be careful lagos is not like your village.

Take your safety serious.

I will. Thanks a lot.

Happy Sunday

stevealibi:
Unfortunately u jst lost 1 dear frnd, cos I stay in Abuja, of all places on earth u decided 2 pinch ur tent in lag, gud luck tew u

Awwww.... And I just relocated from Abuja! I bet you would've been a dear friend indeed. But why say I've lost? We can still be friends even if it's only virtual for now. Right

Hi everybody!! Happy Sunday to us all.

OK, so I recently relocated to Lagos a few months back and would love to meet good people around. I work and live a couple of minutes away from Ikeja and not in the heart of town. Both sexes of mature mind and age are welcome, preferably men 33+ years and ladies 28+years

Pls, I don't need married men I beg you in God's name, stay away if you are married.
If all you talk about is your big cassava, stay away.
If u have nothing of value to discuss, stay away.
I don't have strength for gossip. I need people of great minds and dreams. People I can share ideas with and learn from.
Oh, and people with good sense of humour and fun ideas.

Just pm me and I will reply you

Ehen, Pls o, people that insult and derail, I can't stop you guys but Pls, keep it on a low key.

Thanks everyone, I look forward to making new friends!!!

I agree with the poster above. I mean no disrespect OP, but there's nothing mature about your post so you shouldn't really expect mature responses. It's so lame to use Your wife's sexual status as the topic of this post. The last question in your original post also sounds dumb seeing that you've been married for years. Finally, you didn't even say what your wife did which means it's pretty negligible. In your words "she just offended you". Like seriously? From Your wife's response to you, she sounds a lot more mature than you are.

For the record, she meant that "the best(i believe) good deed she's ever done, you kept a secret, but a slight mistake and you run to an outsider". So wrong bro.

sexymoma:
Person wey get head nor get cap
my sister u don go shiloh before? dem plenty hia, wey dey look for better half
im still trying to figure out your problem here ooo
nor be say the guy dey cheat, nor be say u get belle for am he nor collect am, and nor be say he dey beat you talkless say he dey drink..
do you really need an advice at all..im still wondering.

Ahhhh!!!! Finally someone speaks my mind!

@op, please I am yet to see your problem too o. What is confusing u? The guy said wait for him to sort things out. So what's the problem? You can't wait? Do you have other suitors? Is someone Dying soon that you'll say time is of the essence? You don't want to stand by him now that he's having challenges?

Fine then, do like someone else suggested. Fly your people to your location so they can meet the guy. Otherwise, don't come back tomorrow and complain about how u left this great guy for another and now you are regreting it.

Like someone said above, this is an ancient method of physiotherapy. There's nothing barbaric about it, I speak from experience. Also, it gives some psychological push to the said child to walk. Normally, this is done in a playground of some sort with children playing to make the said child see what he/she is missing out on. When next they remember they can be carried around at play time, or even crawl, they'll be motivated to walk.

My house help did this to me when I was little. My parents didn't complain when they came back though because I started walking same day or next.

Hello.

Good afternoon everyone. Please anyone know where I can get a thatched roofer in Lagos. Someone experienced in roofing with bamboos/straws/raffia. Id really appreciate pls. Idalso welcome

Hello.

Good afternoon everyone. Please anyone know where I can get a thatch roofer (I hope that's what they are called) in Lagos. Someone experienced with roofing with bamboos/straws/raffia around Alimosho/Iyana ipaja/Agege axis. I'd really appreciate please. I'd also welcome ideas on what their prices are like to roof a room, two, etc.

Thanks all

Happy Sunday people

Another old man? When will leadership and appointments get to the young, vibrant and able-bodied Nigerians? Na wa o

MRBrownJ:
what kind of nonsense is the above in bold? there will always be disagreements in any union and whats important is to be UNDERSTANDING and try to resolve the issue in a MATURE and RESPECTFUL manner, but certainly not to be quiet and accept whatever BS is thrown at you.

Never call someone's opinion nonsense. How is that a nonsense? If the man feels he is right and wife feels she is right, will an argument ever end? Op never said there won't be disagreement, instead she said IF one arises, never claim right and force your point down. Life throws BS at us daily and we do nothing. Even at work, employers do. Then why not in marriage?

ConcNiggress56:
nawa ooo

this your advice get as e be..
i say i no wan chop something, you say make i smell am..

thanks for the #1 tip.. that is manageable..

One problem with number one is, if you don't want to do it, why lead another person into it. You believe it to be wrong, improper or a sin, then why lead someone else into it except your reason for staying away has nothing to do with morals or God?

No 2 might be preferred because you don't necessarily have to invite him to your house or do it exactly like the poster said. All u need do is to get the required weird things, then look for a perfect opportunity to display. Might be at the office still, just not in your house, his or a hotel. That way, the pressence of other people nearby will be your excuse to run away until you can figure out another plan or simply, your excuse to display and go since he can't attempt Shii there. I feel it's a lesser sin to give him that wrong impression.

It's well my sister, I feel your pain more than you can imagine. Your temptation is still mild. Pray it doesn't get worse with promotions and insanely massive money. Because by then, you won't have to fear about losing your job, you will quit by yourself. May God see you through.

sisisioge:
Hehehehe...just come regular. Not too small not too big...just regular.

This babe don come again o

^^^^^^ thank you. Thank you too, ujoan

metallisc:
..

Don't mind me. Was just looking for your trouble

^^^^^^ Sister, u dey vex o. Who offended you today? Please tell me it's not metallisc o, because I no trust that guy here.

Anyway, thanks for your advice, but you know two wrongs never make a right. I don't have a problem telling them off. In fact, I've had to convince some to stop the act by gently approach the issue without loosing respect. So you never can tell, you may save or ruin a soul depending on how you handle the issue. trust me, most men are like babies. Some don't even know that the simple solution to whatever problem they are facing are within them. Only God can save us all....

Mskrisx:
Jeeeez! Honey I wanted to type gist oooooo chaiii I am so sorry dear! Abeg no vex but never the less, it isn't late..

Still dancing atilogu. Whether by chance or error, gist or gift, you sha owe me something. How is your day going dear?

Mskrisx:
Yes I did... Breakfast yet?


Have lunch oo

By the way... Gat a gift for you ! Will tell it when it's break time.

Yeah... had breakfast jor. was expecting a long, hard and fruitful day so I chaw first.

A gift for me? #dancing atilogu in jubilation. #this birthday go better o

Oya lunch time is here. Where is the gift jor?

Mskrisx:
Good morning bae, how are u this morning?

Have a splendid day!

Good morning sweet. This morning, I'm Blessed!! Hope you slept well? May your day be better. Cheers!!

raumdeuter:
Financial abuse

What is financial abuse?

Financial abuse is one form of domestic abuse. Withholding money, stealing money and restricting the use of finances are some examples of financial abuse. To figure out if your partner is financially abusing you, think about how you are being treated by answering the following questions.

Does your partner:
Steal money from you or your family?
Force you to give him/her access to your bank accounts to make transactions without your input?
Make you feel as though you don't have a right to know any details about money or household resources?
Put you on an “allowance” even if you object to this?
Force to you to account for all money you spend by, for example, asking for receipts?
Prevent you from working or attending school or skill-training sessions?
Overuse your credit cards or refuse to pay the bills (thus ruining your credit)?
Withhold physical resources from you including food, clothes, necessary medications or shelter?
Force you to turn over your paychecks or public benefit payments?
Force you to cash in, sell or sign over any financial assets you own (e.g., bonds, stock or property)?
Force you to agree to power-of-attorney so s/he can sign legal documents?
Force you to work in a family business for little or no pay?*

http://www.womenslaw.org/laws_state_type.php?id=14107&state_code=PG

===========================================

And so your friend suffers in bondage. This thing called Marriage..... oh well....

raumdeuter:
They live in the US, The laws when it comes to divorce favor the women, So any appearance of abuse (What you are suggesting would be termed financial abuse) would even make the judge even favor her more. He takes care of the kids

His plan initially was to slowly dissolve the assets he has in US and send the money to a Nigerian account where the judge wont be able to touch, when the children are 18 and in college and cant hold him for child support, He will be settling the kids financially on the side. Then he pushes for divorce and claim he is broke after doing a business offshore that went bad.

The problem is he just bought another house last yr and he was like would he be waiting and let good opportunities pass him by because of the wife?

Financial abuse? Really? You still didn't tell me what law states that the man must work and pay her. I'm sorry o, pardon my ignorance, but I'd like to understand what judge will call that financial abuse when she's not sick or incapacitated in anyway. Or is the wife american?

raumdeuter:
You can discuss before marriage all you want but people change everyday, Some of the things you believed 4yrs ago are different now, A woman or man who believed in earning and making contribution to the family suddenly entered into it and decided she isnt going to follow it anymore

I have a friend who married and both were working or had the impression they would be working, the wife stopped working to have their first child, and she hasnt gone back till now, that child is 14yrs old now and the other kid is 11. So no excuse of child bearing or rearing. She even got a higher degree in between incurred student loans which the husband had to pay

He cant afford to divorce her because he has a lot of asset and he knows she will rip him badly in proceedings but is always complaining and whenever he sees friends whose wifes are workin he will be like "Are these not women? My own wife just sat down at home"

Eeerrrmmmmm.... Is there a law in whatever country this friend of yours lives in that says a man must give his wife allowances? What happens if he cuts her off on all her allowances? He already caters for the kids, so he might as well spend for them directly without having to give her the money. Yes, time might be a factor since he may not have spare time ti go shopping with his kids and all, but he can take it as part of what he has to do to TRY and make his marriage work. It's a sacrifice. Besides, it could be fun too. I'm sure that woman will sit up by the time she has no money to spend, nothing to do, not even grocery shopping. E no hard nah. But na question I ask sha

Mskrisx:
Na wa for you oooo! Find the trouble jooor!

I no be tell you say I dey?

Last last mynd 44 go show!

hahahhaha abeg abeg, I no wan chop ban o. those mods? after 'change', fear them

lol... na wa o. @OP that your pastor sef. is there really a defined format for doing things in marriage? shouldn't people do what works for them? I think all the speakers are right because they are comfortable with their arrangements and it works for them.

But for me, i'd prefer that "my money is my money and your money is our money" option, only in this case, i'd rather be the YOUR in the sentence. it gives women more sense of responsibility, independence and equality in a home. However, because of this stupid thing called 'masculine ego' and the fact that people abuse opportunities (the woman will abuse the privilege of being left to her income, and a man will abuse the privilege of his wife taking care of things), I'd prefer if the man still acknowledges his responsibilities and shoulders them. My money can always be a backup for the family anytime, that is, if the man provides enough. Otherwise, every income is OUR money so we don't misuse.

On the joint account thingy, I no fit o. reason: my people say "what you don't know wont kill you". I'm not ready to start asking what happened to this one or two naira or even to tolerate such questions. let him spend his money how he deems fit, albeit wisely and I will do same. Also, the wife is always more conservative when it comes to finances (at least so I believe). So if the man has access to everything money in the house and it isn't really in excess, all of us will be in trouble nah. mbanu....

sisisioge:
Hmmmm, Oga did you two not discuss the things you were comfy doing before getting married? That's if you didn't do the do o. Anyways, you are in and in u must stay! Keep begging her...maybe one day she would take pity on you. Even your pastor would agree your marry someone you have sexxxxual compatibility with.

By the way, are you so huge that she's afraid you might get stuck in her throat? a not-so-brave friend once aired this as a concern.

YoU really didn't have to beat me to this nah, it's not fair jor.

Anyway, op, You didn't come here looking for sound suggestions on how to solve your problem, you are instead, looking for people to support either of your terrible options. Well, if we are allowed to chip in more options, sisisioge gave you a third and I agree with her. Otherwise, O. Y. O

Mskrisx:
Don't mention...don't stress yasef oo... I tanda ya back gidigba!

Thank you. Now I feel like looking for trouble. E no easy to get backup na

carmag:
are you for real..shoo!!.. has women gone into extinct in your area or you don't find any of them attractive to start a relationship



Op categorically stated she isn't beautiful and in your mind you have seen an easy prey hence you want to form a relationship with a lady you neither know nor set your eyes on, when did the feelings started


pls don't compound her problems joorr....

Haba, oga easy na. I thought you were my friend? Everyone read where the op said she is not beautiful. You don't have to rub it in nah. Besides, I know they (and you) understood that line well. But I am sure that if she is at one side of an equation, alone, there will be alot of plus signs after the names of many women you know, regardless. so mbok free the guy jor. can do with some lighter mood in here.

Thank you sir

jaybeyblu:
LOL I thought i was the only one till i realized it is a norm here. when i begun work here i scanned everywhere i was like; hmm OK some really cool single guys. For where? instead it was married men that came flocking around me, i mean serious pestering by these men, none were exempted except for the expatriates that i worked with. at a certain stage i was getting depressed, i asked my single friends why are only married men coming my way? and they also expressed concerns as well that same thing happens to them. so i knew it was not my problem.
The annoying part is that the single ones never ask me or my single friends out. the ones that manage to do wants just a side piece, it is crazy!

Dear Op, nothing is wrong with you it is the society we live in. and i must confess that maybe the reason why some girls date married men is because they are the only ones that seem to be serious with them. it takes the grace of God to overcome these temptations. what i do is i laugh with them and i am not rude to them, because most of them are my bosses in the office and then i keep posting them and eventually they get the message that i am not interested and they back off.

Thanks love. But I Sha will soon leave you people and run. This town is looking like the right arm that can cause one to sin. Make I kuku cut am off na, Abi I no fit shout o.

Mskrisx:
Nne u are really a nice person with a good sense of humor. Calm down, you will get your own man... Your OWN man. Before this time next year we all would have attended your wedding....nothing dey hapun!

Lol, daalu Nne na u try pass for that prayer. Thanks lot for

JeffreyJamez:
I'm sorry... Holy Violence?

I had to read the post 3 times to finally give a meaning to that phrase. I guess what the poster's trying to say is to indulge in a radical prayer.

Thanks @ishilove