₦airaland Forum

DEALING WITH FRUSTRATIONS CONTD
Sources of frustrations

When we put GOD on our timelines
When we make our desire GOD’s desire and priority
When we claim right standing with GOD
When we command GOD
When we reject the Cross of salvation
When we assume/ believe we are in a business relationship with GOD
When we reduce GOD to work only within our concern
When we consciously close our ears to need for order in all things
When we assume GOD needs to be alerted to our desires - doubt HIS love for us
When we think GOD is asleep or unconcerned
When we believe GOD understands our limitations, would overlook our failings hence we take HIS mercies as given/ for granted

DEALING WITH FRUSTRATIONS CONTD

Sources of frustrations - I believe this may be rooted in/ traced to that apple that our parents ate in their first act of disobedience

1) Man’s desire and failure to set his/ her life rules
2) Man’s desire and failure to live by his/ her rules
3) Man’s desire and failure to be judged by his/ her rules
4) Man’s desire and failure to reason out GOD and HIS ways
5) Man’s desire and failure to subject GOD to his/ her desires
6) Man’s desire and failure to dictate/ control his life path and destination and that of his neighbour!!

DEALING WITH FRUSTRATIONS CONTD

The following fundamental truths will help us. It should be cast in stone in our minds

1) GOD created us
2) GOD did not consult us before HE created us
3) GOD did not consult us before HE decided on our life path
4) GOD created us out of love - to understand this love, we have to live in HIM
5) As the penny Catechism of the Catholic Church encapsulates it, GOD created us to know HIM, love HIM and serve HIM in this world and to be happy with HIM forever in the next
6) The final destination of our soul is the priority to GOD
7) GOD is infinitely merciful and good
8 - There is no meaning to life except in GOD
9) We can never fathom the depth or mystery of GOD and HIS ways
10) GOD is not subject to our instructions/ prayers/ etc - GOD is the unmoveable mover
11) GOD is totally in control of all things
12) GOD cares so much about all of us

ebankole:
What an awesome GOD we serve!

@ ebankole

As you continue to allow yourself to be HIS vessel may HE continue to bless you and your own abundantly. If only you have an idea how much succour your submissiveness to GOD is giving HIS people, if only you have an idea... May HIS Angels ever intercede for you and surround you. It is well

DEALING WITH FRUSTRATIONS

Sometimes it feels as if GOD:
is silent
has decided to allow our “enemies” get the better of us
has abandoned us

You’ll pray, fast with no result towards your main expectation instead the “deadline” would keep closing in
You've given, etc fulfilled all "requirements? yet no positive answer
You’ll so worried you can’t concentrate on anything except the answer to your prayers
Pastors, Prophets would tell you that GOD has blessed you so much or that your time of avour/ blessings/ answer to your prayers is here
You’ll even dream of it at night
Yet you can't see any of it manifest towards your expectations


Have you experienced such? What do we do?

@ Lastchild
If you've been delivered, you are free for whom the Son of man has set free is free indeed

Prayer and fasting is to keep you Spiritually alert, protected and energized for life continuous spiritual battles. Remember what Jesus told His apostles that some demons can only be driven out by prayer and fasting

The demon would always loiter around !! What else do they do except to prowl around seeking whom to devour. Remember that the devil after the temptation left JESUS to come back another day. Who do think telling HIM to tell them who struck HIM, to come down from the cross that they may believe, Not to say that HE would be killed? All those were temptations by the devil in one guise or another

So far you were delivered, you are free BUT you have observe the following

Live a HOLY LIFE!!

Avoid ANY FORM of sexual sin like ebola disease!!!!!!!!! Remember what JESUS said about the demon going out and being given an opening to come back

Don't ever get into dialogue with the devil or any demon !! Never believe the lies by the devil and his agents that they can be good (i notice you believe that), They are only looking for a way to diffuse into your life and take over. The WORD tells us that there's nothing good form the devil or his agents. Rebuke in the name of JESUS or flee

Periodic midnight prayer and fasting helps you mortify/ subdue/ overcome the desires of the flesh. Remember what Apostle Paul said about his doing what he doesn't want to do

Don't despair or become despondent!! The devil can use that opening to cause to suffer faith crisis

IF your deliverance was not complete per se, you will know 'cos HE will allow you to feel it's pinch but know that HE has provided a helper to effectively carry out your deliverance. Because HE loves you, HE will not allow you to slumber to the antics of the evil one. those pinches maye be HIS call for to to go and be set free

If you fall sexually after deliverance, go for another one but be assured that the demon would now be more subtle to deceive and make you believe she's gone or good/ friendly. She can even turn out to be very wicked and mean but have firm faith in HIS mercies but don't take it for granted

Ubenedictus:
lol,
but this is a serious matter.

Don't expect any replies from Christians who don't profess the Catholic faith. Theology is not a favourite of "Protestants". "Marrying" Theology to the Bible is very difficult for them. Why? Most if not all that tried it ended up becoming Catholics (G.K Chesterton, Newman, Scot Hahn). There's this suppressed hidden fear of the end result. But expect a lot from Atheists

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It's not about wrong or right. Hezekiah's prayer was in the old testament before Jesus Christ came and taught us how to pray.
It's situated in the context of when people worshipped GOD in their own way and somehow on their own terms
When the demanded what they want
In the context of the period Jacob wrestled with GOD

This principally about going for HIS permissible will instead of submitting to HIS Divine will

But with we Christians, such prayers are not in line with the Lord's Prayer and the sacrifice of the cross but we can also go for HIS permissible will and this determines your life path - it's about choices

And I strongly recommend asking the Blessed Virgin Mary to pray for you

Why?

She’s the only woman (without her request) that GOD through HIS Angel sort her consent to entrust her with the conception of HIS SON by the power of the Holy Spirit
She embodies a model woman
Even her cousin Elizabeth said to be barren was used to “reinforce” her faith
She spoke and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit And John the Baptist leapt for joy in Elizabeth’s womb
And All generations shall call her blessed because of the mighty things the LORD did for her

Ask her to pray for you that by the merit of the sword that pierced her soul that the secret thoughts of many may be revealed:
That she pray to her Son to fill you with the Holy Spirit
That she pray to her Son to pour the joy of the Holy Spirit into the children in your womb

Even though I write from based on my Catholic faith which I profess, I can state with full conviction that this works but with one condition:
That the couple live Holy lives that can win souls for GOD

So muster your "little" faith in GOD (Holy soul winning life is required), remember the bridegroom at the wedding at Cana was not aware he was about to be put to shame and his visitors inconvenienced when She interceded. Your Holy soul winning life would ensure Her prayers don't allow you be put to shame or defeat. You might say that the faith required here is the faith of the ministry of Angels and Saints and theirs like the servants at the wedding is assured already

Remember that Heaven rejoices over the repentance of one sinner – imagine you and your partner being part of the cause of this Heavenly joy !!!

The husband should particularly ask St Joseph (husband of Mary) to pray for him to be sensitive and submissive to the leading of the holy Spirit like him

Marital Challenges - Conception

One of the purpose of marital life is procreation – man cooperating with GOD in creation

Put first things first

Marital life is not all about sex. – Sex should never be the main driving force for any marital life as its’ contribution to blissful marital life diminishes with time !!

First thing in marriage is for couple to thank GOD for HIS mercies, blessings and ask for HIS continued guidance and protection
Plead the precious Blood of JESUS on their lives
Ask the holy Spirit to take control of their lives
Pray to the Angels and Saints to constantly intercede for them
Then prayerfully present their request for children to GOD
Couple should try and get the book: Billings method of natural family planning by Leonie Mcsweeney
They should read it together and follow the recommendations and back it up with prayers
This is to have knowledge, avoid anxiety, etc,

The recommendations in the book is not exhaustive as GOD remains the only Almighty GOD and can do anything and HIS plan will unfold when you walk with HIM
But the book is a good way to start

Where conception becomes challenging, then you continue to pray, act, pray and wait on GOD!!

And I strongly recommend asking the Blessed Virgin Mary to pray for you

Why?

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Marital Challenges - Spirituality issues contd

Normally it’s better is disparity of cults is avoided in marriage so couples can unite daily in same faith in prayer
The earlier couples inculcate deep Christian values in their marital life, the better for the family to be rooted in Christ
If the woman is the one gifted in spirituality then she needs to HUMBLY support the husband to grow spiritually not allow pride to place her above her husband
Of-course the devil is ready to start prodding the woman to assert her authority by granting her revelations, mystical experiences, but good discernment of spirit would reveal that GOD is not the source of such revelations
Any revelations that dictates or directs that married couples should divorce is very very suspicious!!

There is nothing like wrong marriage only difficult marriage as life itself is
Whatever spiritual challenges one encounters during marriage should be prayerfully treated like the cross of salvation
It’s not easy and not meant to be but faith in Christ conquers all
Even if there’s disparity of cults, couples should endeavour to pray together.
Sharing the word together enlightens us so much.

So far you had the glory of GOD as your intention for getting married, be assured that HE is aware of the disparity of cult in your marriage and has taken care of it
Remember your marriage is part of GOD’s plan in the entire world and only Him knows how everything fit together
Focus more on your agreed spirituality than on the differences. HE came that all may be one in HIM !!
Whenever the disparity threatens to rear it’s head, use prayer to overcome it!. The family is the mini-Church!! Never underestimate the efficacy of family prayers. Praises to GOD are same no matter the cult of fellowship/ worship

It maybe you that GOD planned to use to draw your partner to HIM and have children that would glorify HIS name

Marital Challenges - Spirituality issues contd

In a marriage it may turn out that one of the partners is more spiritual than the other. This partner should realize that it is not the time to be proud, arrogant or condensing towards the other.

Neither should the partner feel burdened by the other. He/ she should see the marriage as part of GOD’s plan and lovingly help the other partner along.

He should not feel dismayed or disappointed with her/ his partner.
She/ he should focus on helping the partner along on the life journey

spicykev:
Hello nairalanders. i see dreams as a way of getting a clue on wat May likely happen in the future. think as it stands now my life is lacking in that area. Am really looking for astrong man of God that can see the future. Am about making a very important decision and i wld really love to have a guide from a spiritually sound pastor. Please share your experiences and recomend a man of God If possible. Thank you

forget about seeing into the future. concern your self with today !! Ensure your right standing with GOD, fear HIM, Love HIM, Love ur neighbour, be prayerful, then have faith and act for your future is in HIS Hands as the HOLY SPIRIT (the Comforter) ever abides and directs all that seek to glorify HIM in thoughts, words and actions. HE ensures your crosses/ trial/ tribulations don't overwhelm you as they surely would come !!

seeking to see into the future is due to lack of faith in GOD's steadfastness and submission to fear. like one who wants to avoid his/ her crosses/ tribulations which are part of life

Marital Challenges - Spirituality issues

The moment you decided to marry or become celibate for the love of GOD you have incurred the wrath of the devil. Note that it war started from the date you took the decision not even when you got married. Since we are discussing marriage, all my discussions would center on it not on any other vocation.

In the discussing Spirituality in marital life, my discussion would flow from my Catholic believe/ faith.
Marriage is not just union of man and woman. Marriage is a Sacrament. And Sacrament is an outward sign of inward grace ordained by Jesus Christ by which grace is given to our souls.
This implies that marriage has graces attached to it. The devil knows it and would not rest till he makes you give up. Decision to get married is like decision to acquire more graces from GOD. Getting married is accepting to obey GOD’s word and join in the salvation for souls.

Someone may decide not to marry but he/ she must decide on a vocation!! Nature abhors vacuum!! Sex outside marital life is sin hence if one cannot abide in chastity without marriage, then he/ she should seek to marry.

We may say (especially women) that it’s not my fault that I am not married.
That suitors don’t come my way
Am I to marry myself?
Check the steps you took to ensure you fulfill God’s plan for you in life. If you took all the required steps and no suitor comes your way, be patient and prayerful find out from HIM HIS plan for you.
HE has specific plans for each of us. Nobody is an accident or coincident !!

The moment you decide to marry, the devil gets agitated at the idea that not only of loosing you, but that through you a soul winner/ warrior for GOD, etc would come into this world.
Hence he would put into motion all he has and can to thwart your implementation of that decision
Everything about marriage is about prayer. Marital life itself should be a prayerful life. Prayer is not just about vocal prayer. The way we live our marital life can be a prayer and win souls for GOD
Sustenance of this prayer/ marital life depends on our attachment to GOD.

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Marital challenges - Communications issues

A couple should communicate very well with each other. They should learn patiently to harmonize their explicit and implicit understanding of each other. The first year in a marriage with Christian foundation is towards understanding each other. Even when couples were boyfriends and girlfriends before getting married, they need to learn and understand each as the uniting platform has changed drastically.

The platform now is built by GOD. So you should allow the Holy Spirit to guide you. See each other as a gift from GOD. When it seems he/ she is impossible, ask the Holy Spirit to help you. It may be you are the impossible one. Focus on his/ her good sides by looking through him/ her using GOD as glass.

Now the couple has to learn how to unite their vertical relationship with GOD and submit their horizontal relationship to it. Each should look at the other through the glass of GOD. In essence this like courtship. But one very good thing about it is that if the marriage is founded on GOD, HE provides an enabling environment for this.

This is a time for listening, talking not shouting, praying together, thinking before retorting or coming to an assumption.
Couples should try and refrain from comparing applying their understanding of their relations or friends to their marriage. It is better to allow listen and understand than coming to wrong assumptions in the early stage of the marriage. Trying to act based on predicting the other’s behavior may not be the best at this stage.

This is the whole essence of honeymoon or allowing the couple to be alone for the first stages of their marriage.
When friction results, talking is the solution. Talk about everything including how to talk and when to talk. Anything that is left not talked about would inadvertently be shouted about!!!

Allow the talking sessions to be a dialogue not monologue. Talking includes touching also Singing together, laughing together. Try to use gentle words.

When explicit understanding from talking is imbibed, then implicit understanding from body language is the next stage.

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ebankole:
Says who that I have no testimony also?
Wait till am back the lord personally asked me to share this before you all for a reason or more known to him.
It's been a tough and rough journey serving you all here behind the scene if not for the fact that he personally asked me to share this. I wouldn't have bother sharing this just like have never been since having such attack this thread started.
Bless you all in jesus name.

Eagerly waiting to read/ hear your testimony 'cos i'm sure it's soul winning and loaded to the Glory of GOD !!

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Facing Marital challenges

Remember that we are on a journey of faith. Christians are pilgrims on a journey home - Heaven is our home
And there's only one way/ door/ gate - JESUS CHRIST
And all other guide leads you to the main guide - HOLY SPIRIT

As a single you can live life based on the daily bread approach but once you get married, anxiety creeps in and praying for / living life on daily bread approach becomes "myopic"

Marital challenges include:
communications issues
sexuality issues
conception
finance management
home management
in-laws management
Friends management
Spirituality issues
Cultural management
society management
Children management
Anger management
etc

We'll discuss some of them

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Getting Married and Personal Revelations (contd) - Confirmation/ being sure of chosen partner

Having followed the steps stated, How am i sure that the chosen partner is the right one?

Most times when we want GOD to show us evidence/ proof of HIS faithfulness and love for us like when we pray that HE show us proof/ evidence that

1) the proposed partner is from HIM,
2) is the ideal partner, would ensure blissful fruitful marital/ family life,
3) it is because we want to blame HIM for any challenge that comes during the marriage.

Be certain of one thing - Challenges would surely arise!! HE told us that !! but HE also said that we should not be afraid for HE has overcome the world !!

So when you’ve followed the steps, go ahead and marry the partner for the Almighty GOD has within the period equipped you with the Power to overcome any that will arise

Treat any challenge that comes your way as either a cross of salvation
Or
Yoke of the devil that anointing of the Holy Spirit breaks

How do you discern which:
Pray, Pray but don’t ever resort to accusing GOD saying
“ that YOU should remember that YOU were the one that gave you the partner, now see what he/ she is doing to me”

Remember that GOD is plans and purposes are so ordered and too high for you to reason out. Faith is the key!!

I know a somebody that got sacked from his job and was jobless for over five yrs with family to feed. It was very tight and tough. He later got a good job and just some months after some people in his office approached with him an offer to join their cult to ensure rapid promotion. Guess his answer: GOD has trained and formed me very well during my tough times that I am vaccinated against such lures/ attractions !!!

So to all challenges that come your marital way, pray your way out. HE is ever with you !!!

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muafrika:
I like the sound of that books name. What is its genre?

The Dark Night of the Soul
Essentially it's a book by St John of the Cross (the Catholic Mystic) on his experiences when it seemed GOD was not there (for him) and he was on his own.

dalaman:
What is God?

Were you not the one that posted this:

dalaman:
That is my problem with the God concept, it does no real work in reality. God is just like an abstract idea that can be used to mean anything. Humans don't act that way. If God reveals himself to humans then why is the need for God needing humans to propagate his message? Why not just reveal himself to all humans to end all doubt? After all he wants all humans to know him and receive his salvation. God is not who he is in my opinion. God is just what we humans that believe in the God idea make him what we want him to be. That is my own conclusion about the God hypothesis.

So you know HIM but may be we differ in understanding or name we call HIM

dalaman:
How are we hiding? I am definitely not hiding. How can an all powerful omnipotent being that can do all things be crying day and night for people he wants to be in a relationship with to hear him? Do you really know the implication of what you are saying? Some times you need to sit back and think through some of the things you are saying because t makes no sense at all, it nothing but special pleading. God has never called me. I have never heard his voice, all I have heard so far are people telling me what to believe, what to do and how to act when it comes to the idea of God. You can not help me find God. You can only help me accept your ideas and convictions about God.Your ideas and conception of God I know will be very different from another Christian who will also want to help me find God. So you see, it all boils down to what our minds make out of the idea and conception of God.

To me an Atheist is someone who has tried but could not reason out GOD and HIS ways. Not that he doesn't believe in GOD per se but to him, GOD doesn't act in the way he expects HIM to act. GOD's ways to him is not logical This mostly due to environmental influence that makes one unconsciously develop KPIs to judge GOD with. So out of anger at his/ her failure to predict GOD and HIS ways, HE rejects HIM and unconsciously expect HIM to prove HIMSELF by the way he expects HIM to call him back to HIS fold. Nobody is born an atheist !!! You only become an atheist. Using the bible may not move the person. i suggest books like Dark Night of the Soul by St John of the Cross.

Getting Married and Personal Revelations (contd) - Sources of Frustrations

1) Being in front and putting GOD behind
2) Setting own standard and aiming for them
3) Praying for what you want not what will glorify HIM
4) Believing own desires is right and should be granted by GOD – grant me my heart desires !!!
5) Striving after selfish interests
6) Putting physical/ materialism as priority factor instead of Spirituality
7) Continuing in sin (especially sexuality, night clubbing, etc) while praying and aspiring to marry
8 - Being so consumed with own interest and not being sensitive to the leading of the Spirit
9) Unconsciously replacing believe in GOD with believe in self
10) Praying to change the unchangeable Changer
11) Hoping to effect a cause in the Cause of all causes
12) Believing the your faith can move the Unmovable Mover
13) Always praying to see a vision or dream of your partner
14) Turning obsessions to dreams
15) Dreams and visions become manipulated
16) Every possible partner’s fault is seen in vision/ dreams
17) Believing that as a Holy righteous person, GOD should send you a partner from heaven in your full view with witnesses as compensation
18) Setting deadlines for GOD to answer prayers
19) Believing you are in a competitive race against/ with contemporaries

If you are already guilty of most of the above, then better snap out of it or else it may be better for you to visit a Teaching Hospital and have them manufacture a girl child that you can mould to the way you want .

Testimony - Lengthy but bear with me

When i was about to marry/ wed, i went broke practically lost my job and wedding was just about 60days away. To make matters worse, house rent expired and need to be paid. As always when marriage knocks on your door, nobody needs to tell you it's time to PRAY !!

I was always at the Chapel of Perpetual Adoration at Holy Trinity Maitama. morning, afternoon and evening. even became part of the Eucharist Adorers. To whom do i go if not to HIM.

A friend lent me 150k to add to another 200k given to me by another friend to supplement and pay my house rent. (afterall i need to secure accommodation before wedding -abi?). How come he lent me the money? He was a good friend (died in 2012 - may his soul rest in peace). It happened we were chatting about life challenges and i mentioned my financial quagmire. he intoned that he has set aside money to pay his house rent in 2wks time. i told him that it's GOD that made him voice this out as mine is due in 3days. so i asked him to give me the 150k from that money and that i would unfailingly repay him in 12days time.

Did i lie at that time considering my financial predicament? No !!! Why? How?
In a bid to raise money for my house rent and wedding, i put up a property (land) i had for sale and a former colleague offered to buy it at a higher price as a favour to me. He would pay up in that 12days time. So i spoke based on this. My friend gave me the money and i paid off my house rent

Then guess what?
On the 11th day the former colleague called to inform me that the money he expected to buy the land did not materialize !!! i almost fainted. It was then i learnt what it means to keep everything to yourself and ponder over them in your heart - BUT IT WAS NOT EASY!!!! But i did not tell anyone except HIM and HIS MOTHER!!!!

That night after my daily visitations and prayers, i went to sleep. When i woke up around 2am to pray (especially stations of the cross) i received a text message from a colleague at my office (the office at which i just practically lost my job). Before i continue i have to tell you about this my colleague

She schooled abroad incl masters from one of the best University in England. She came to Naija for NYSC and got posted to our establishment. Normally i am biased against foreign students. i feel they may just be "denge" people with nothing upstairs. Who knows if the school exists. So i preferred another guy tha schooled in Naija. but my boss insisted on the girl as he himself just returned from UK. When i insisted and we checked scores i gave them during interview, it turned out the girl and the naija guy had same scores (not predetermined!!!). This even made me more determined in rejecting the girl as i felt that with masters et al the Naija guy with only first degree made same score hence must be better. But my boss had his way. I never knew GOD had a hand in it - HE is just too much !!!

When the girl resumed with us, we got to be very good friends !!! how? why? She's Catholic. Pure/ Saintly. etc.

Now back to the sms from her. it read "Matt 6:25 - 38" - nothing else.

I opened my bible and it was about not being anxious for anything as the Almighty GOD is a sufficient Provider!! I said to my self, "this girl doesn't understand at all, i have to repay a friend that lent me money out of love 150k and i don't have it" but i used the verses to pray.

On the D-Day, on my way to that "office" i visited the chapel. when i came out and put on my phone, i received an sms from my friend that lent me money. it read thus: "how far? we don't hear from you again? use part of the money for your wedding. do you still need help?"

I just put off the phone, rushed back to the chapel to thank and adore HIM - it was too much !!!

Think HE's though with me yet - just wait for this

At the office, the girl came in later (had to go to NYSC office) then asked after some time what was in the sms she sent to me? my mouth was agap!! she said something kept prompting her to call me in the middle of the night but she didn't know what, and what she would tell me. I showed her the sms. she asked what the bible passage is all about (she confessed as not being a bible scholar per se)? i opened the bible and read it out to her. she then told me that i must have been anxious for something but that she doesn't understand.

I then told her my financial quagmire and what happened that morning. She then exclaimed that it must be the HOLY SPIRIT at work !!!
Just imagine GOD's foresight, etc.

JESUS - King of Kings. I adore and worship YOU. I so much love the Blessed Sacrament

More to follow ...

Sorry to take you guys away from every day chat.

I know the Holy Mass is a Prayer - the "highest" prayer in the Church, but i f i may ask which prayer within the Mass "moves" you so much

For me, these three:

1) This part said sometimes in the Liturgy of the Eucharist: "You are Holy indeed, the fount of all Holiness, all praises, honour and adoration belongs to you..", "... our praises and adoration adds nothing to Your greatness rather, it is a gift from You that profits us for our salvation..."

2) The doxology and the Great AMEN !! "per ipsum, et cum ipso, et in ipso, est tibi Deo Patri omnipotenti, in unitate Spiritus Sancti, omis honor et gloria per omnia saecula saeculotum. Amen !!!!!!!!!

3) Then this part of the Communion Rite prayer (in Latin !!!): "Praeceptis salutaribus moniti, et divina institutione formati, audemus dicere, the followed by the Pater Noster (in Latin !!)

Everytime i'm at mass and the chief celebrant says any of the above or all, i just want to ..... (can't find suitable words)