₦airaland Forum

People are still having this argument in this season of deadly viruses and terrorism?

I've been natural for almost 3 years, and i put in weaves and wigs because African 4c hair does not like to be touched, combed or otherwise manipulated. Not because i have low self esteem or I'm denying my Africanness. My hair grows faster when its protected, shikena!

Total strangers (men) have asked me why i have my afro out in public, like i should be ashamed of what God put in my scalp. Only once in the years i have been natural has a man said to me that my kinky hair looked nice. I get the rudest statements from men and women alike, who all feel the need to share their retarded opinions. One male colleague makes it a point of duty to tell me to "cover that tin up" whenever I carry my fro!

The same men who say weaves are bad because they show you have low self esteem, would never give a woman with natural, nappy hair the time of day,because she doesn't have hair like all dem video Vixens!

My hair is my business, and if what I do with it bothers men so much, here's a novel idea...ignore it! When its in a weave, you complain. When its natural and unrelaxed, you complain. There's just no pleasing people, I swear, so let me just please myself, and Bleep everyone else!

Its just hair, people!

Turnstile

"TIMES!" yelled the umpire, as he checked his stopwatch and turned to view the scoreboard beside the race track.

Bebe's kids, The Boondocks, Anything by Studio Ghibli, Anything by Aardman Animations, Fantastic Mr. Fox, Ninja scroll, Paperman, The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lesmore, The Transformers movie (1987), Lilo &Stitch, and The Lorax.

Present

Trypophobia. Fear of clusters of holes. I have a terrible reaction to seeing things like honeycombs, lotus pods etc.

Use limes, i.e. the small, greenish yellow acidic fruit. Just cut one in half and rub against your udnerarm. This is guaranteed to stop b.o.

I'd be too busy reversing over his balls with my back tire to say anything to him

Fact 1: It's not compulsory that your siblings should be your best friends
Fact 2: Time changes everyone. You are not the same person you were at this time last week, but you will not understand this until next week. The changes are subtle, but they are real.
Fact 3: In every human relationship, there is one person doing the shitting, and the other eating the shit. The roles reverse from time to time, but they are constant in any dynamic involving 2 or more persons. Its just the way life is.

If you miss the closeness, why not make the effort to reach out to your siblings and cultivate that closeness once again?
Maybe they're waiting for you to reach out to them. Often we don't know how to behave towards our younger ones, because our minds can't accept what our hearts see- that they are now grown adults with lives away from our nuclear family unit.
So, make the effort. Friends are wonderful, but there is nothing like a brother or sister when life is tough.

I just learned this yesterday and it was EPIC!

INDOMIE STIRFRY
Ingredients
2 medium size packets of Indomie (I think the 75g?)
1 green bell pepper
1 red bell pepper
1 clove of garlic
1 raw egg (optional)
2 large carrots
1/2 cup of shredded chicken/chicken nuggets/raw beef/shrimp (any "animal" you choose works fine here!)
2 large onions
2 cups boiling water
1/2 cup oil

Instructions
1. Pour boiling water over noodles, cover for 1 minute. Drain and set aside (Your noodles should be separated, but still a bit hard)

2. Heat the oil in a wok/deep frying pan/regular frying pan. Add the parboiled noodles. Wait 30 seconds, flip to fry through (You want it crisp, but not brown. Remove noodles, drain on a paper towel.

3. Pour out half the oil. To the remaining oil, add onions and saute lightly. Then add chicken and 1 of the spice packets, saute with onions. When chicken and onion mix is brown, remove and set aside.

4. Fry eggs, keep using your spatula/ fork to move them around so they don't clump together. Set aside.

5. Pour a teaspoon of oil into the pan, add bell peppers, garlic and carrots, toss lightly. Cover and turn down heat for 30 seconds.

6. Add second spice packet, throw in the noodles, chicken/ onion mixture, and eggs. Combine with your spatula. Cover again for 20 seconds.

7. Turn up the heat for 10 seconds and you're done!

8. Enjoy with cold zobo, like I did!

TIP: To cut cooking time, julienne your vegetables, garlic and meat, i.e. cut into long thin strips like this
[img][/img]
This is how it was cooked for me, and they came out perfect. Feel free to adjust the recipe to your own taste

safarigirl: sorry, I don't deal well with sarcasm. Can barely remember the post you're referring to, did I say obese was the opposite of skinny? My bad, meant anorexic, both being medical conditions, you really should've quoted me cos now my idea as far as that post goes is quite sketchy. Meanwhile, congrats on your medical qualifications, we all need a medical sage on this thread, feel free to pitch in on the disagreement between honeric and kandii, please, they lost me a while ago when someone brought in medical terminologies to a simple discussion. P.S I've managed to keep a clean sheet so far, insulting you or your medical knowledge is far from my aim, beleive me. Maybe you should stick to being a passer-by.

Maybe I [i]should [/i]stick to being a passer-by, but where's the fun in that ? Sorry, I don't deal well with people who don't know me thinking that the internet gives them the right to be condescending or obnoxious .

@safarigirl...just, wow! The time and thought you must have put into that reply! I don't usually comment on NL threads because of women like u; but thanks for pointing out the obvious to silly fat me...if I don't want to be insulted by ubersmart people like your charming self, I should keep silent. Having said that, not all anorexics are skinny. Outward appearance is not an indicator of psychological disorders, which is what bulimia and anorexia are. But what do I know eh? My years of medical training can't possibly stand up to your superior knowledge! There's nothing wrong with asking for clarification on the definition of fat, curvy or thick. There are no advantages to either state. Not all obese people are that way from diet. If you're prescribed steroids you're going to bloat, even if all you eat is vegetables. Obese is not the opposite of skinny, actually, fat is. Check the distinction. But again, I defer to your superior knowledge on this. You are right...aren't you always?

I'm sorry if this offends some of our "fat-positive" or "skinnyloving" ladies in the house, but I fail to see how any of this ish is relevant? I knew a lady who was model skinny; she kept her weight down by portion control and controlled vomiting, i.e. chronic bulimia/anorexia. Last year she was diagnosed with cervical cancer. Her body fat percentage had just never gone high enough for her oestrogen levels to normalise, so she even had spotty periods. I took her along with me once to one of my cardio/weight training sessions, and she lasted all of 5 minutes! I know of another lady who's a comfortable size 18. She is a dance instructor and can stay on her feet for hours at a stretch! There is no correlation between how big you are and how healthy you are...skinny people have heart attacks all the time (Is Fabrice Muamba fat?)! And why do we not get our definitions right? Is skinny here referring to a lack of curves or to total body fat? And if you are curvy but have a flat tummy, are you considered fat? Is Sophia Vergara fat? Or Ini Edo? Can I then say that Iman is skinny?
I am a fat girl myself (since we are now using fat interchangeably with curvy), and I'm not making excuses for anyone. There are no sides to this thing. Its not as simple as "fat girls look nicer in pencil skirts" or "skinny girls thighs don't rub together". This is just another way we women have devised to put each other down, and its total bullshit. Oh, and by the way, fashion designers official designation for skinny is Size 0-Size 6, so even if you're a Size 10, honey, you're plus-sized!

PS...pls don't quote me, flame me or do anything else to me...

I can't speak for other women, but I take myself out all the time. I try not to restrict myself regarding places I go to, unless it comes to clubbing. I [i]do [/i]try to go clubbing with other women or guy friends. If you go alone, stupid guys take it as a license to be even more stupid (besides, most clubs don't let you in if you're alone; the assumption being that you're an ashewo looking for customer). I've gotten into a club solo before, and halfway through the night a total effing stranger came up to me and offered me money if I'd blow him in the toilet! I want to believe he was drunk, because how a woman in a tshirt and jeans can give a man randy thoughts is completely beyond me!

But sometimes, if you're brave enough to venture out alone, you meet some really cool people (men, specifically; we women are not hardwired to be pleasant to each other in unfamiliar social settings ) But women like me are in the minority, and it has nothing to do with stinginess or generosity. We're socialised to suppress our curiousity as women in Nigeria. Besides which, some joints are just safer when you go with a guy, or are part of a crowd.

PLEASE DON'T FLAME ME, ABUSE ME OR QUOTE ANYTHING I HAVE JUST SAID...I swear, this Nairaland is a freakin' minefield these days!

That's so odd! I've got a lot of creative outlets too- blogging, writing, baking, crafting, sewing etc. Mine is June 17

Fejok01: june 17th.tegtob@yahoo.co.uk

Hello, birthday mate! I am June 17th as well.
And, yes, Geminis ROCK!

I am going to be brutally honest with you. Wickedness is not restricted to any gender, believe me. Women are just as wicked and promiscuous as men.
I understand your pain. Why? Because I dated a "wonderful" guy for 3 whole years, gave him my all, met his family, he met mine, and in the end, all the money we saved, all the plans we made, the house we rented, the car we bought...he gave to someone else. And now they are happily married.

Its painful, honey, but its also not going to kill you. Its only going to make you stronger. Don't let anyone try to belittle you or your grief.

A few words of advice from me to you, as a sister who's gone through the EXACT SAME THING...
1. Take time to know yourself again. My guess is that you immersed yourself totally in this relationship, so you now need time to get back to just dating yourself. Love who you are, in spite of your flaws, okay? This is very important, especially with what you've gone through. You need to love who you are before you can learn to trust any man ever again. Once you appreciate yourself, your confidence will increase and you'll see your life getting better as you throw off your sadness and learn from this experience.

2. Cry. And then when you think you've got nothing left in you, cry again. At the height of my breakup, I cried one day for 9 hours straight! I just sat down and started weeping and kind of went away from my own headspace for a while. Don't be afraid of this process; it's your heart telling you its ready to move on, but to do so, healling must come, and healing is NEVER easy or painless.

3. Reconnect with friends. Especially the ones who knew you when you were younger. They won't judge you.

4. Take your sadness, bitterness, pain and depression and DO SOMETHING WITH IT! if you moon around feeling sorry for yourself, you're just giving him the victory, my dear. Get a hobby, learn something new, explore a business. I spent a year weeping and sorrowing before I decided to use my time better. So I began a blog to deal with my depression, I taught myself to bake, and I went to french lessons. I now have a small business, am a blogger, and can read French novels. Its not much, but it gave me some of my own power back, knowing that I used the pain of what he did to me to better myself.

5. DO NOT TRY TO KILL YOURSELF. HE IS NOT WORTH IT. And trust me, you WILL try. I sat for 4 hours one day, staring at a bottle of bleach and a holding a razor to my wrist. And then an old friend called and told me she missed me. That's all she said, "Babes, I miss you". and that was all I needed to come back to my senses.

6. Take your time getting over him.

7. Don't jump into anything new just yet. Give yourself time to heal.

8. When you DO meet a new man, DO NOT GIVE HIM MONEY! I gave so much to my ex, and for what? Men need to know that they are men; don't help him to be the man. if he doesn't have money, let him stay broke.

9. Don't write off all men just because one of them turned out to be a sellout. The world can always surprise you, you know. There are lots of wonderful, loving, loyal men out there...just give yourself time before you decide to get involved with any one again.

10. Next time you love, love with sense. He must be totally into you before you invest your heart, and and ONLY your heart! Not your money.

Finally, know that I am praying for you to come through this with your sanity intact and your faith in humanity unshaken. People are not bad because they are male or female; they are bad because they consciously decide to be bad. If you need to pray, do so. And don't forget to give yourself time to grieve. And when you're done, give yourself time to love yourself again, just as you deserve to be loved.

Why? Because you are a queen, and whoever ends up with you is lucky. Remember that and value yourself always.

God bless you.