₦airaland Forum

I've always been a soap and water person, but I did try Femfresh once and it didn't suit me. Those things have a way of altering the Ph level of your privates, disrupting the growth of healthy bacterias, and thereby promoting the growth of unhealthy ones. Just stick with mild toilet soap and warm water, eat healthy, drink lots of water, and you'll be good.

I'm pretty sure someone made a point of stressing "tempered and tampered" like the former wasn't something to be considered.

I don't suppose while i was away someone bothered to define modesty? Is there any biblical definition for it, anyone?

And while we are at it, maybe someone can also lay down the general and specific rules guiding how a woman must dress and what percentage of male lustfully affected dictates if she is guilty of causing a brother to stumble.

Thank you for your anticipated response

Serious question for texanomaly and the other women on this chatbox. So if you decide to wear slippers on a summer day but with a modest dressing (big flowing gown) but then, a man with a foot fetish harasses you......would you then make the argument that it was your fault that you chose to arouse the man with your slippers and show your beautiful feet?

Going by popular opinion here, I'm never to walk out of my house in a slipper again so that men with foot fetish won't be tempted to come a-nibbling.

Hell, I'm probably not allowed to leave my house either. Someone asked if we are allowed to 'display' what beauty God has endowed us. It's a strange question for anyone to ask
A man says the sight of my face can make a pastor sin(and he was a pastor) and another says staring at my eyes makes him imagine it all fogged up when he has me in his bed kissing every inch of my skin. My, how many men are thinking things like this women? Should we all borrow the dressing of our Arab neighbours? Seriously guys let's face it, something about a woman's body will always tempt someone out there. It's why men learn to exercise self control.
I must say though that it is shocking that someone here doesn't think the intent of a person should be considered when an act is carried. What did God say again about judging from the heart of man? If I wear my mini skirt and a jacket to work, it's because i like the way it looks on me, and i love the way it makes me feel. If i wear it with the intention of getting men to stumble, then I'm wrong for causing a brother to stumble. If I am aware that Mr A gets a hardon whenever I wink or blow him a kiss, and deliberately continue to do that, then i am guilty of being uncharitable(or lacking love if you please). We cannot eliminate intent in this discussion, and we cannot eliminate the culture of people whole at it.


That said, let me just add that men should package themselves well too.
I like hairy legs, and chests. In fact i just love hairs on a guy. So please for my sake and that of every girl like me out there, go get yourself waxed if you plan on coming out in shorts or shirtless In short I'm even bothered by your hairless chest and abdomen too so please wear a shirt--and no form fitting one.
Thank you!

I realise not many women talk about their sexual fantasies--better self control or self deceit? It isn't helping in any way though, because now some men think we can't pepper spray them into submission and have our merry way with their bodies

ihedinobi2: I'm interested in the part about Brazil. How hot exactly is Brazil that people need to walk around half-nakked there even with continuous advancements in textile technology? I understand that Nigeria is even hotter.

That's besides the point. We're talking people and culture here.

Btw, it doesn't even have to be as hot as Nigeria. We're talking heat here, the degree isn't the issue here.

Mintayo: that word 'display' though.
Did God actually give them to 'display'?
What about those who has nothing to 'display'?

Flowers are beautiful, bees are attracted to it.
Should the flower in the field choose not to bloom because it doesn't like the bees?

Should people hide what God their creator has given to them because there are people who choose to have disgusting thoughts about something beautiful?

Note I'm not talking about wearing clothes that expose your privates here, I'm speaking decent but flattering clothes..

And erm everybody has something to display. It doesn't have to be physical, could just as well be material or intellectual.

yetseyi: really ok ooo


so is a fitted gown better for her figure?

Fitted will serve just fine. She may also wear vertical stripes and black to down play it's voluptuousness
Still though, I don't see why a woman shouldn't be allowed to proudly display the figure God has endowed her because of silly goons

Btw, what attracts me to lady is mostly her face, lips, accent and her swaggalicious catwalking.I don't have any problem with endownment.

Oh my. FrancisTony, should we also walk around with our faces bare of cosmetics, talk with a konk Igbo accent, and walk like we've got two left legs too?

yetseyi: you ll see wat i mean
some one so endowed should go for a dress with the lower part like this one so too much attention wont be on the hips.
dont mind the upper part of dress pls

Erm wrong. A dress like that is supposed to draw attention to the waist line(temptation, someone?) and the flair of the skirt give an illusion of a wider hip.
It will be terribly unsuitable for Toolz or anyone with voluptuous hips, honey.
What were we saying again about wearing clothes suited for one's figure?

[quote author=Mynd_44]Biko babe, preaching free will to a conservative is heresy.

By the way, can I have you number or e-mail addy, i would love to see a picture of you. I heard you are as beautiful as Venus[/quote]lol sharrap dia
pishure ko

yetseyi: I neva said ill fitted clothes ooo. read the post again slowly u ll get what i mean actually.

err no i understood what you wrote there.
ill fitted/ill suited=size larger than you are and size smaller than you are/ clothes not befitting your body type.

Romans14 13 Therefore let us no more pass judgement on one anothet but rather decide never to put a stumbling block and hindrance in the way of a brother Romans 14 21 It is right not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that makes your brother stumble.

I believe these passages should be tempered with intent. If a woman leaves her house dressed smart, and per chance a man who lacks moral scruples is walking behind her, ogling her well rounded and packaged bum, she can't be accused of wearing what suits her because she has unintentionally tempted another man.
If we continue to do what we do factoring in every single man put there with or without a functioning brain, then we might as well throw away our free will

yetseyi: mynd 44 you can dress corporate without wearing a mini skirt .
Youcan look extremely good withouth even showing your curves

mintayo and I have discussed this issue before oya mintayo talk

although i ve been to some organizations and see that most ladies put on macro mini skirts and i seem to wonder if the word corporate means short skirts

You are suggesting we werlar bongo clothes?
Chai, Mynd you need to come clear out my wardrobe for me please

Lol Yetseyi, sorry but your response to what i typed doesn't count yet.
Ill fitting clothes, seriously? The woman i described up there wears her perfect size. Unless of course you're suggesting every one must wear something a size larger than she is I can't say that would be very comfortable now, will it?


We need to define what counts as modesty here. And some of us need to understand that not everyone takes covering up every inch of their body as something that must be done to protect something priceless. Say a Brazilian would walk half unclad because of the scorching heat. It's just a body, right? She ensuring that same body is taken care of too, and trusts that people will not be perverted enough to think she's left it open for their viewing and touching pleasure.

Why should different standards be made for men? Do men allowed to view their body as not so important things, and hence allowed to bare it to the world?


Mynd, trust me we haven't left the feminism talk yet. We're just handling the dressing angle of it now.

Someone says I wear form fitting clothes and it's provocative. My body is fully covered, but the every contour of my body is fully outlined.
Men are provoked, some talk about it either by catcalls or daring to stroke my arm, others pretend to ignore even though i can see their eyes and lust not well masked follow my every move.

Pray, has the woman above also bared her goods to the world? Is it now public good too?

Is a man who wears shorts also cheapening himself to the world? Bearing in mind that most women are just as turned on by the hairy legs of a man as much as they are turned on by a tiny glimpse of the swell of her bosom rising above her blouse.
Or a man who walks around shirtless? Or wears an arms length shirt exposing his toned biceps to weak females?
Tell me, is he cheapening himself too?

ihedinobi2: Ahia akposara akposa bu ahia mmadu niile. Anybody can kwe the ahia onu. And the fact that there should not be thieves will never change the fact that there are thieves.

Sorry, tex and other non-Igbos, you'll need Google translate for that

Basically, the fact that men should not try to rip your dress off because it's too tight or too short will never eliminate the fact that some will. We all have the right to drape our jewelry on the branches of trees in our property or hang them on our rooftop. But when someone steals them, yes, the law will punish them, but it will also accuse us of ensnaring the less privileged.

Seriously Ihe sometimes i wish you'd just shut up. How can you liken a woman being raped because she's wearing what she wants to hanging your jewellery on the tree?
You can talk about being charitable, knowing that people are morally weak so as not to tempt them, but shouldn't self control also be preached?

A woman's show of love is via submission/respect or whatever you mean to call it. I don't think that one should be an offshoot of the other though Don't believe marital love should be very conditional, or you both are bound to break up sooner or later.

Love can make you stupid if you don't go in with wisdom.

Very funny


Hello Tovot

Ihedinobi2 you haven't said anything about this feminism and biblical principles yet Or is this a no go topic for you?

texanomaly: So do you think men should not ogle if women put it out there? If you put something on display, are you not giving others the right to check it out? Shouldn’t men have the right to look if they choose to? I thought feminists wanted equal rights? That’s a little one sided don’t you think? It seems feminists want equal rights as long as they get what they want. “Have their cake and eat it too.” That doesn't seem very equal.

btw...hi uj...nice to see you.

Should a woman be molested because she has provocative clothes on?
Should kids be forced not to wear leggings and yoga pants to school because 'it distracts the boys'?
Should women constantly have to fear going out late at night because they didn't say hello to the guy who lives down the street, and he might take offense and bring his boys to gang rape her because "she's feeling too big"?

So sure he's free to look, but not free to touch



Hi back at you

jay bee: @uju
Can you please be my friend, i don't mind being assigned the role of bed warmer

I'll need to assess your physical attributes and stamina first

[quote author=The.Big.Urban]Find courage to quote me or the person you are replying to


Isnt there a bible quote about people who work in the dark?[/quote]What can I say, I had faith in your ability to figure out I was referring to your post

dagr8: @Uj_sizzle...easy easy abeg....Shrink shrink shrink abeg o

Nigerians don't pay a lot of attention to mental health, it's reason we have too many disturbed people walking around today
We need to adopt the shrink culture.

That feminists believe dressing provocative is a woman's right doesn't mean they have to dress that way too.
All they've said in essence is feel free to wear whatever you want with the fear of men ogling you
It's more a live and let live scenario here.

*disappears again*


aManfromMars I can see why that passage's very disturbing.

FrancisTony: Oh! You are right tho'. I don't read 95% of post here except short ones like 5 or 6lines.

Soooo what do you read, how Chika lost her virginity to Chike the mechanic?

ihedinobi2: Oh I don't know. Phone calls still cost money. And Internet costs money. And travel costs money. And entertainment costs money. So the absence of money would mean the cessation of communication at least.

But then, as you said, one party could take responsibility to do all the calling, visiting and pay for all the hanging out. That's nice. But then, somebody is still paying, are they not? Money is still making it all possible. And we're assuming that there is no psychological baggage that comes with someone else footing all the bills to keep a friendship going. But of course there is. If you're a man, that is. If you're a woman, that's a whole nother story.

"there are more important things in life than money" Friendship is, and with that you just need people who don't suck at being friends. Factor out the presence of money and they are still there. Factor it in, and they are still there. The 'people' are the one constant, not the money.

Men are one funny creatures though. You impose upon yourselves the role of playing provider, and then cry me a river when women take you as such
Then you're suddenly in a situation where no one expects any of that from you, and psychological issues become present. I would have thought it a relief. But then that's why shrinks come highly recommended, they fix psychological issues.

Seriously, life is easy. People just make it difficult for themselves and then extend it to others.

jay bee: You basically said you have different friends that perform specific role plays so i was wondering how they will feel if they know that's perhaps the likely purpose of the friendship

I think you misunderstood me then. Different people have different things to offer, not what we mandate them to offer. I learn to recognise what each friend can contribute to our friendship(if anything at all), and never expect anymore from them.
Like I said the expectations--the tails-- are what breeds dissatisfaction.
I know not to think A will understand when I'm emotionally down and just need peace and quiet, but B will get the message. I know not to expect B to be particularly chatty when i feel like it too.

It may seem like a calculated attempt to take advantage of people, but it isn't. People are people, and each has something unique. It's your duty as a friend to discover what that is, and build enough trust that the individuals involved understand that you will never take undue advantage of them. And to understand that it may be difficult if not impossible for them to give back more than they can offer.

The whatever you do to maintain relationship cost money. And however tight the people involved are, soon enough the one incapable of carrying their weight starts to suffer embarrassment that eventually jeopardizes the relationship or else they develop an entitlement mentality that jeopardizes the relationship as well.

Some people need to start hanging out with the right people then. If a person suffers embarrassment because he/she can't measure up in material contribution to a platonic relationship than the other does, then he needs to see a shrink.
Everyone has something to contribute, and it doesn't always have to be wealth of possession. So you don't have the cash, isn't said friend aware of that? If that person isn't and you think it will be a big issue then you both need to redefine whatever the hell it is you're having; same goes if the 'wealthy' one thinks the other will develop a sense of entitlement.

Yeah, money can be a tool in fanning the flame of friendship, but it's absence shouldn't cause any significant difference unless that's all it was about in the first place.




On feminism, hmmm........

Just because a couple of men can't control their emotions enough to stay as friends doesn't mean women can't. And just because women who don't understand why it's impossible for a man to stay best mates with them try to salvage the situation, doesn't make them selfish. It's simply your incapability; other men(albeit few) can do what you can't handle.


People who can't handle cross-gender friendships should just stick with their sex until they want to get married or whatever.

zeb04: What is the write up about....I didn't read it oh.
in friendship btw a boy and a girl,there is alwys that akward stagewhere the boy decides to ask the girl out. If you overcome that barrier nicely,you guys wil become almost like brothers nd sisters.

True. Works well where there's an avuncular relationship established.
Don't know how many guys are going to want that though with a girl they want more than friendship with

MissMeiya: Secondhand information is perforce less credible than firsthand experience.

Sweetheart, when you aren't writing something for your diary, but something that's supposed to reflect the thought pattern of a certain race or sex, and possibly influence the thought pattern of a couple hundred people, your personal experience does not completely suffice--it may not even be of any particular importance.

Some people actually happen to be deductive researchers as opposed to inductive ones.

We're derailing

I think a lot of people are getting the OP all wrong. Don't tell us how you've managed not boinking your cross-gendered bestie.
Guys who have succeeded can share how their female friends have kept the friendship flame burning, without making them feel used.
Females can talk about how they've been less than selfish with their male friends, and what they have contributed to their relationship(not romantic).


This isn't totally about sex