₦airaland Forum

It really isn't so much the money than what it provides.



@Mynd, i already briefly addressed that in my post to Caracta.

Matthew briggs: this is what she said


Does it mean they are pursuing the wrong thing.

Depends on what leaves a person contented.
Personally, it's more of the process than the end for me. I find happiness in the struggle...i like to know i was part of the reason i reached an expected end.
But some just love the end *shrugs* I dunno, no judgement coming from this end.

Caracta: Definitely not mine.

But that's you my dear, which is why i say i speak for a proportion of the population.

Look at it this way:

What does an average person want?
What is happiness?

Q1. Food, Clothing, Shelter, Security....for some it ends here. For others it goes further to include not just any shelter but a mansion, not just any food but the best cuisines, not just any cloth but 'label'. You want education, but you don't want it in just any school. You want the best. Money provides all that.
You have dreams and aspirations that ultimately define happiness for you...it's a sense of fulfillment. But something must give. There must be a consideration. That's money. Look at it as the facilitator.

Some may decide to work and sweat to get what they want, and others may choose to attach themselves to people they think will help them get what they want(that's what we term gold digging) but what is the true motivation here? Happiness however short or prolonged the feeling lasts.


Q2. Happiness is simply an emotional feeling of contentment. It's that simple.

Ty Lannister: Real happiness is a strange concept. As far as the op's meaning goes, happiness is simply a feeling that people have because they have something, a pleasant feeling. Call it contentment, call it relaxation, call it gladness ( Isn't that a synonym for happiness? ), call it whatever. It's the same feeling and the op believes that Nigerian women think that money can give it to them.

I don't know anyone who knows what 'real happiness' is. Can you define it?

Tyrion you are truly a wise man.
Happiness is the feeling of contentment, and money can buy that. Now whether that feeling can be sustained by money in the longrun is another matter altogether. But can money and all it gets make some people happy even momentarily? Yes it can.

Caracta: She didn't say money brings happiness, did she?

The human mind has the ability to see what it wants to see, and not what is truly there

The thing tire me

Lol Matthew Briggs, very smart
But don't you think chasing money because it's a guarantee of financial security(like you mentioned) is happiness?

Please define 'happiness' ?

Ty Lannister: Hard to argue against the op. However, there is this one small hole in there. The op happens to be talking about adults, not so? It does feel a little offensive to have to teach a grown person what matters in life and what doesn't. I will not argue that being adult means that you necessarily know everything or that people do not grow up failing to appreciate life properly. But I will argue that it is not one adult's responsibility to train another adult.

I should not need to show a woman what should make her happy or what to do about it. Happiness is just as fleeting an emotion as you claim love is too. It's an elusive thing to pursue. And a hard thing to hold. But it is obvious that the most content people and the most fulfilled are responsible people who do not fail to meet their responsibilities. Adulthood is all about responsibility. An adult woman should be a responsible woman. In relationships she should not need me to teach her that her happiness is tied to her ability to hold up her own end of the stick not to how much I've got in the bank.

None of that means that she will not need me to teach her that. She may. But it is not my responsibility. If I do it, it is because of the premium that I have placed on her not because it is my duty to. Women are allowed to pursue their happiness. If they think money can buy it, by all means they should go after money however they deem fit, but just as they have every right to pursue their definition of happiness however they please they also have the responsibility to bear the consequences or outcomes of such pursuits.

So if women, in their majority, favor men with money because they equate money to happiness, they should be prepared to bear the consequence of being called gold-diggers. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

For the men, all I know is that nature has designed life such that men cannot help wanting women so they will try to get and offer whatever will give them favor with the women they want. The man who doesn't runs the risk of never getting women or the woman he likes.

Finally, I believe that happiness has a relationship to money but an indirect one. Money is necessary for fulfilling responsibilities generally, although not always and not in all cases. However money itself is a responsibility. So I would not trust it to people who think it buys or is itself happiness. I might as well pile the notes and assets and set fire to them for all the good it'll do to entrust it to a woman who equates it to happiness.

Thank you for understanding the post and making an intelligent contribution

Oh Mynd pls don't play dumb on this thread. We all know that when we use 'men' and 'women' on NL, it really is suppose to denote a proportion whether minute or large

Besides if you took time to understand the write up, you would obviously see i wasn't generalizing there.

Psychedelia, lol i'll let her know

I'll be more inclined to type long replies like i want to if my table wasn't filled with paperwork now.

I'll be back for this pls.

Mynd, Sony is wise. Men don't help solve the issue of materiality in women. No, they tell themselves to make more money so the women follow them, then they come here to complain.

That's what this thread is about.

[quote author=]They are either gold diggers or use gold diggers' methods and tactics to pursue happiness.

"Don't you want a man who can spend on you?" is a common line I keep hearing from my aunts and cousins. Sorry, but that's gold digging. Can't convince me otherwise. One can make excuses and/or blame it on environment, conditions, etc., but let's call a spade a spade.[/quote]Oh but people are what they are because experience and environment have made them so. We cannot totally eliminate that factor, can we?
We might decide to make a conscious effort to change ourselves and how to eventually turn out in life, but there are those who can't/won't or want to but don't know how to.
How do you teach a person to be self dependent when all their life they are made to believe a woman should depend on a man?
You can't change what yoi don't understand. You can't help who you cannot relate to.


Now the use of 'gold digging' was merely to bring the subject home for lack of a better choice of word

[quote author=Mynd_44]One of the "female activists" on NL once asked me "don't you guys talk to one another?" and I said that this I am not responsible for what every guy do but it rubs off on me and when I can I tell em the truth. It is funny that this is how "Women talk to one another".

It is not what it is, what's wrong is effing wrong and can't be right. You can try to understand their mentality but it should be with a view to change it not to make em believe they are right.

Sonic of "sonics underground" said "You're part of the problem if you are not helping solve em"[/quote]I don't want to believe you really lack understanding of my post, and you fail to see the message in it.
But in case you don't, i believe identifying a problem and understanding it are the first steps to solving it. This is the identification point, pls try to understand first before saying i am excusing their actions.

Well said Caracta

Briareos: This is a very moot and pathetic argument to explain the greed of (most) Nigerian ladies.

If all they seek is "happiness", and money is what can bring them such happiness - why cant they work hard for their own money? Why should they risk their happiness on another human being - when they can easily get their own money and be нαρρү to Timbuktu as they wishes.

Is there a law against ladies earning their upkeep?

And further more, are the few independent ladies we have not нαρρү?

That's why i spoke about mindset. There are people who believe their happiness to tied to another person(men and women alike). It doesn't have to be ok, but it is what it is.

Jbluv55: All you are saying in essence is 'Nothing Goes For Nothing'

Every relationship is for mutual benefit. Benefitd may be skewed to one side, but each party involved gains something. Question is, what do you want?

sweetestguy: Partially true

Lets hear what you have to say then.....

chidyhels:
Too lazy to read but since it's coming from Uj, I concur.

Don't be lazy woman!

jplay: lng epistle abt nutin, borin

Ok. Run along now

Jbluv55: Speechless!

*patiently waiting for the counter - thread "Nigerian Men Aren't Necessarily After S*E*X But Chasing After Their Happiness"

lol i could argue for both sides


Maybe I will.......later

[quote author=Mynd_44]**yawns**[/quote]*yimu*

Jbluv55: Speechless!

I'll take it that you agree with me then

[quote author=Mynd_44]If someone did that to you, are you not likely to avoid the person?[/quote]I'd notice them

okwanu ara

Figured the title would get your attention This is really more of my opinion than some fact, so I'm hoping we'll be able to discuss 'intelligently'. I'll keep this straight and simple though , so you don't need to worry about reading an epistle.

I'm a strong advocate for understanding why people act the way they do because it is truly the only way to tolerate and deal with them. So lets discuss the over flogged topic of Nigerian women and their supposed love of money .

Why are 'Nigerian women' money conscious?
Really the answer isn't far fetched: They are simply pursuing happiness.

Being happy is really the summary of all a woman wants, but happiness as we know is subject to individuals; what makes A happy maybe different from what makes B happy.

Now while some may say that a woman should be happy with a man who loves her, we might want to ask ourselves: Is love really enough? Can you trust an emotion that can be so easily extinguished just as quickly as it was sparked?
Money is the next best thing after love. Seriously, lets not deceive ourselves here, money makes the world go round. And who says it can't buy you happiness?
To people who are superficial(and that's not a crime), money is happiness. Even to the less superficial ones, it does have the same effect.

Now men, you really didn't think i was going to spare you, did you?
If you believe Nigerian women are gold diggers, it is because consciously, unconsciously or subconsciously you made them so.
I was having a discussion with a friend some months back, and she said she couldn't marry an Igbo man who grew up in Anambra(sorry my brothers). She had a really good reason for that if i may say. Men who go after money with such tenacity believe that it is the only way to please their woman. I don't know who taught you that you could substitute yourself with your wealth, but so far it's worked, and now that the women are following what will supposedly please them(make them happy) you complain. Aren't you the most confused beings alive? We'll leave your confusion for another discussion.

So in essence, every woman wants happiness. Some find it in self fulfilment, others find it in love, and yet others find it in materiality.
You can't really blame a person for what they believe will keep them happy, the best you can do is change their mindset. It is really about orientation, what they have been led to believe. Some believe their happiness is tied to someone(a man or woman) or something(possibly the good things of life that only money can buy), while others believe happiness comes from within. I say to each man his own after all there are those who have trusted in love and your potentials and yet nothing good had come of it that they gradually start to resent you. You really can't blame a person for wanting substance, can you?

If men really believe there is more to them than their money(for the few who have some faith in themselves) then it is time to start showing these women those hidden treasures that can make them happy. Until you can successfully do that, please chase after your money and let the women chase after you, and stop complaining

Methinks guys are just confused

Quote all their posts on NL, and if you have nothing to say, use this:

I've noticed too. She gets too emotional, sometimes I almost expect her to start weeping on set!


You think she's got some problems bothering her?

Watched District 9 last night. Those guys fvcking insulted Nigeria
I didn't quite get the movie at first, but it was quite emotional when it began to make sense.