₦airaland Forum

adewumiopeyemi:
Olosho won ..

Jealousy!!!

Nice boobs. Great work. Which hospital did you use?

obeyizy:
A Lady in United Kingdom asks Twitter user to help her find her husband.

She says she is an entrepreneur and she wants to get married.

See her pictures below


NEWS VIA: http://www.jamienaija.com/2017/07/lady-begs-twitter-users-to-help-her.html?m=1

Please forward your experience/ message to CNN, Alj SBD Sky. They have programs where they do inside Africa. Talks about everything and anything of individual experience, without the interruption of politics.

Or forward it to Saturday Night Live. They will read it on air.

I think its time the govt take their reputation and impression seriously, because the world won't.

timidapsin:
Dear Nigerian police, 500k to bail my self? (what a funny encounter today!)
Based on the 777, Edo police took it upon themselves to make some cool cash, knowing fully well people would send location messages to friends about the event...

Before i go on: "I would be happy, if federal government could tutor old and incoming police about what INTERNET / Online business is" it will save the stupidity many are putting on themselves.

To save your stress in this life: Let your sent messages, received, draft be always at zero, anything is an offense to SARs i swear.
i showed them ID no way, i showed them my Cooperate Acc Cheque, they claim almost every G boys now have cooperate Acc / Dorm account, i should show them real facts.

They made me pull of my shirt (chai) searched my body for any marks, checked my thumbs if it has been manipulated, several useless cheques
i told them Google adsense is one of the source, they said anything relating to online is CYBER CRIME, i try to explain that its when its being used fraudulently they say NO, as far as i goto Google and search who to defraud, immediately i fainted in spirit..

They saw Bank transactions and flared up, i begged them to give me access to my phone they ignore, they read my SMS one by one till ending..
When i knew they were blatant illiterates is when: The started checking my Facebook Timeline/wall from their phone with the name found on my ID and said why would i have so much comments on my posts, that i am fraudulent.. i totally stopped talking cos i couldn't convince them anymore, it seems all they want is money.

They saw a comment from one Icekid Dah saying "OMG", they said it means "O mi Gongo", that am a "Marphites", they saw another comment of "mmm", they said its MMM that am using MMM to defraud people.

i was boiling inside mehn, that kind thing, totally restricted to make calls or prove a point..
One said if i am making money online i should give them Adsense number so they can call and confirm (i just weak!)
They said if i cant provide details of people i claim pays me, then am literally doing it illegal, How the they get my account details to always pay me, No way to further explain cos i was not with a browsing phone and it seems they do not even know what E-Mail means...

After few hours with them, i had to reason along the money side, but before then..
Who say police/SARs are not making money? it is one of the lucrative jobs right now, i saw over 100 brown envelopes pilled in with money in accordance to several office with names on each, right before my eyes people where paying 100k, 50k etc just to free themselves (would i challenged them? i was just looking, trying to prove my point because 500k is so ridiculous)

When i discovered i was the only one left and the other idiot was writing a Detention Order (he wrote DENETION instead Lol)
Should i price 500k? i dey mad, even if am worth more i rather sleep in cell than lavish money, i decided to start begging, they where now happy, then said this is what i should have been doing instead of quoting laws (if i hear u say Nigeria have any laws eehn, we have broken our ten commandments)...
"With Pain", i brought out 5k and said Sir please manage it its for you all, the bargain started, they claimed commissioner knows about my case, becos the scene i created was too large that if not 400k am sleeping cell, after much much, as an Igbo boy, i still gave them the 5k, we all became friends gave them few recharge cards, and they are inviting me over..

These are the Tips they gave me, as am now their younger brother:


Now: are these the police that claims to be our friends? so no young man is free? even if not, atleast given a benefit of explanation..
They keep shouting "Oboy say the truth, U dey press, abi you no know say na we first start cultism and yahoo for this benin" - Why do not arrest yourselves instead?

Today, i became tired of Nigeria, i wept for my dear Nation, all those patrol agents all they do is catch get undocumented bail to enrich their pockets..
We are now friends tho, but if i have spiritual powers, i would just wipe out all the officers in that office tonight (God answer this prayer) LOL...


Fidelis Ozuawala

Where do they get these local guns and bullets from?
This our police should ask for their sources na.

Yeah. It takes a LovePeddler (like you) to know another LovePeddler.
P.S. It's spelt LovePeddler, not hoe.

jjjjj2017:
the baby mama is a hoe.

If it's from a private university, I don't buy it.
Earn first class from a government university. Now we can talk intelligence.

You sure say you get brain at all? #SeriouslyDoubtingIt

Hotshawarma:
she will not mind her own business now oooo she wey her finger nails long pass her marriage...

Great to know she's having a reality TV show. But em...can she speak English? I mean eloquently not just some dabbled words?

Duh! Of course it is. It's worth her destruction and yours?

Papiikush:
Satan don't buy unfortunate souls, they are his right from time. Your soul ain't worth shìt SISTA.

Wow!
May no IBO person ever come to your aid in this life; ever again.

victorvezx:
Even if it is fake. She is right tho.

Seriously, how foolish can you be? Out of curiosity, what is the extend?

Papiikush:
She is 50 and never been married?

Lol... This is the future that await the stupìd girls we have roaming nairaland shouting broke boys up and down

Bull shit. I think it's cool.

NwaObinkita:
Na wa,
Its' either the man is a veterinary doctor
Or that dog does some 'things' for that woman.

Like some women say...what a man can do, a ............can do it even better

His money and financial brains.

HungerBAD:
Even his wife refused him to touch her twice openly on this trip.

What exactly is there to love about Trump?abi you want Trump to grab him by the?

There is no difference between magic and miracle. There are the same (unexplained wonders). Don't let 'religion' make a fool of you.

Aufbauh:
God is not a magician; God works miracle because there is a need, and not a magic originator that guarantee show off.

What we need is a recolonization.
We are lying and fooling ourselves if we think we can restructure Nigeria ourselves.

Adeboye doesn't preach nor teach the Bible. He only makes half-baked prophesies; anonymous promises about things and to people he doesn't know. No where in the Bible do we see that. When a prophesy is made, it is to a particular person, at a particular location, on a particular matter. But that is not the case here. Our prophesies go like this:
1. Someone here will give birth safely. Duh?
2. The Lord told me to tell you (who?), that this year is your year of success. Duh?! In what? Thievery?

People have always, and still do, call me workaholic.
Sometime in 2012, I needed to send in a report on a following day, and I insisted on finishing it the day before. Anyway, I finished it, thinking I was cool; only for me to step out of my office and I realized I was on my own. No okada, no keke, no bus. This was around 11pm. To be sincere, I wasn't conscious of the time.
I was lucky to get a bus heading to Yaba. From Yaba, instead of taking a direct bus going to Sabo, I decided to be adventurous and took one going to Oyingbo, with the thought that they would take the Sabo route. Omo, na so dem drive straight, bone the Sabo junction dey go Oyingbo.
When the driver found out I was going to Sabo he was angry but stopped me at Alagomeji, wishing me luck. Even refunding my N50. (Those guys actually have feelings).
Neeway, I had no choice but to start trekking to Sabo. That was when I noticed a guy walking behind me. When I crossed the road, he did too. I pretended to buy something from an aboki until the man passed, then proceeded on my soujourn.
Luckily, a man driving a car stopped by me and asked what I was doing on a lonely road by this time (almost midnight). He volunteered taking me home (another risk. I was weary but grateful). He drove me to my house, waited until I entered inside, then turned and drove away, without ever asking me for my name or number.
Am I still adventurous? Very much. But now I get more sense.

Another was that my primary school was very big, with lots of corridors, staircases and passageways (now that I think of it, it reminds me of Harry Porter). We used to play hide and seek in them.
Anyway, I once had a sharpened pencil, with the tip inside my mouth. As i was running up a stairway to hide, there was this boy running down the same stairs. The next thing I knew, we collided, with the tip piercing my throat. Blood was just everywhere.
My eldest sister was the headgirl then. They had to rush and get my mom, who rushed me to the hospital/ theater. I felt like a G when I returned to school. And I still carried first.

According to my family, I was the most stubborn of them all. Everyday I must do something naughty and I must cry. To the point that a neighbour adopted me for a weekend.
When I was about 6, I once hid to lick ice directly from the ice tray. Omo, my tongue stuck. Initially, I tried pulling it out but it was 'tearing' the top of my tongue. Na so I go koba myself to my mother, with all the tears and pleas in this world never to be naughty again. Initially, she was calm and made me sit down till it melted and my tongue slipped off, then she beat me black and blue.

I can't wait for the case in court. It is bound to be full of 'Objection Your Honour' haha!
I ain't no judge, but I feel 'he' will f**k up so badly, the blind will be able to see.

faithugo64:
See as her face be

Until he is proven guilty

You just seeking for attention

He whom the lord has blessed

No tongue can curse!



Aunt hope you are ready to face the wrath of his God if you are lying against him?

I swear you are a fool.

[quote author=yorhmienerd post=54337745]Her end is near, watch out.

Speaking against a man of God has great repercussion. I'm not saying the man is right, but it's obvious she's doing it for money.

SMH.[/quoted]

You are obviously one of those foolish people who believe everything is about religion, and MOG are automatically going to Heaven. Continue, and you shall die in poverty, both mentally and financially.

#ExtremelyStupid #Pity

Please who knows where I can rent a fumigation fog machine in Lagos?

I need it urgently.

Thanks.