₦airaland Forum

Brightgem:
sounds really ridiculous in my ears and to my reasoning.

That's why I decided to throw this to the public. Remember they say love is not enough

Samyj247:
does she know ur salary and do u know her salary? I am a psychologist I know what she thinks about u, and I will tell u. That's why I said ask her, let's know why she has that strong mindset concerning giving to guys. There is something in her that she needs to bring out, and when she has brought it out, u can mould it and everything will b fine.

Yes she knows my earning power and she knows that I can pluck out my eyes for her to see except I don't have it

I believe it's her inborn traits and there's no way we can justify that level of stinginess. Imagine dating someone for two years and you haven't gotten something as little as a toothbrush or shaving stick as a gift.. I believe I have every reason to be worried and that was the reason why I had a rethink and put the introduction on hold

Samyj247:
its a red flag but let's go deeper before conclusion.

user283

have u tried to let her know that u love gift and since 2 yrs she has not given u anything?

have u tried to ask her what she thinks about Ladies giving gifts to a guy they love...ask her whats her view concerning such, let's know what she thinks.

u are just a contract staff and can be sacked at any moment so u need. what if u are sacked and ur wife is the only one that can offer help and she begins to misbehave. I am not saying u should leave her but ask her the above questions, let's know what's in her head, let's know what she thinks about giving to a guy.

it maybe that she is always broke, but no matter how broke she is, she can still borrow money from friends to assist u, if she really loves u. How old is she?

shoperite pays above 50k so no excuse should come from her. I believe its a mindset thing. ask her first let's know her mindset concerning giving. If she says she can't help someone thats not her husband then u are good.

There's a Yoruba adage that says you have to pretend as if you're dead just to know those that will cry

I've applied this method yet the situation is still the same. I've been sick for a few times we've been dating and she's never moved by my condition. There are times she has seen my account balance reading negative yet she will be the last person that will ever assist me in a little way

lollybizzu:
I'm afraid for you bro. It's very unnatural honestly.
Bro, you deserve better. If you're a giver, you deserve a giver too.

Another question ...has she borrowed you money before? Whether you asked her or she just felt you needed help then she borrowed you?

She has never borrowed me money before no matter how things get though for me and this is someone I have gone into debt for just to make her happy. At a point I was forced to abuse her of being a stingy person but it always end up in quarrels

Rejoice5000:
There's no way she can be accommodating she is naturally wicked if u like peaceful and happy home free dat lady.look for someone else dat will give what u want.don't use ur money and buy what will be pinching u for the rest of ur life.

Exactly.. No one knows it when it comes to relationship or marriage issues and that was why I brought the issue up here to hear from married folks

VillagePipu:
If you are sick (God forbid) and you need money to pay for one or 2 things, do you think she would use her money and pay for you to live?

That lady would allow you die for her to save 500k.

With what I've been seeing bro, even if he has 50k, she can never spare 15k for me to live. At least I've been in more terrible situation than being sick and I saw no sympathy from her

Brightgem:
This one bad trait is really bad. You have raised all the valid points by ya own self. Life being give and take. If you sure you can do this, she wnt cross a gutter for you, while you'll cross river.

Plus u have spoken to her and nothings changed. Wait. Even on special occasions you have not received a gift from her? Like birthdays?

How does anyone function without being a giver sef, there is no joy in giving.

If it's a deal breaker for you. Walk away, if she values you very much, she'll knowA she needs to change.

2years is better than life time of you almost dying, and stingy partner won't be bothered to help. Not making sense.

I'm glad you see the point I'm coming from

She has never bought me anything before.. I'm not even talking about something as huge as N5,000, I'm talking about something as little as N100

Rejoice5000:
Marriage comes with alot of sacrifice from ur explanation she does not have what it takes to run a home.2yrs plus not even a pen as a gift what happens to Valentine Day,Christmas celebration,Easter celebration not even a boxers gift from her hmmmmmm not just being stingy she is also Very wicked,very very wicked ur parents and sibling,close friends will be in trouble.cos as little as water they won't get from dat stingy woman of urs.women are the general managers of their home with dis her stingyness how can she handle dat.if dat part is wat u don't like in her flee biko.LOVE GIVES.YES LOVE GIVES.

Like you pointed out, I sensed my family will be in soup because she's also not accommodating

lollybizzu:
Op even on your birthdays?

I've never received any gift from her before.. Not even a gift as cheap as N100

Omotakins:
The married ones on this forum will agree with me that the concern and reservations expressed by the op are not out of place at all: they are valid. If she can't show a bit of 'give and take' at this point, when will she? My wife was of great assistance to me in my years of financial turbulence. It could have been hell for me and this attribute she obviously manifested when we were dating and courting. Just be very circumspect before you make that life time decision.

I set up a barbing solon recently so I can have another source of income

I ran out of fund and it got to a point that I was hustling for fund but my girlfriend couldn't sacrifice as little as 1k to assist me in the project

majormofor:
You man, your dating yourself o... If a girl truly loves you she would buy something without telling you.
Best advice---"buy something for urself and let her know it's New and tell her, it's one of your female friends that bought it and you love it soooooo much..
Let see how we go from there. Her reaction should speak more

I've done that before but it doesn't change anything bro

favoryte33:
May be she feels she owes no one any responsibility now because you aren't married yet. Do not be surprised if she turns a new leaf especially when you start bearing children.

Why don't I think I owe her no responsibility too since I'm not yet married to her? Does it mean I'm being foolish?

But remember her younger brother told me she's that way when I whined him

There's this lady I've been dating for two years now. We happen to be members of the same church and I ought to have taken the relationship to the next level by getting my parents to her place for our introduction last month but I had a rethink and postponed our introduction due to an issue that might cause problem in the future

I noticed my girlfriend is the stingy type. When I mean stingy, it's on the high side. Assuming she's just averagely stingy I wouldn't really be bothered but this is gross.

I work as a bank teller (contract staff) and my salary isn't really much while she works in Shoprite. Even from the little I earn, I'm always sensitive to her needs and I tip her whether she's stranded or not since I love her but how can I explain being with a lady for two solid years and I've never for once received any gift no matter how little it is? Not even something as little as toothbrush or hair cream

Initially, I didn't see this as a big deal probably because I grew up with the mentality that it's a taboo for a man to expect gifts or little support from his girlfriend when he's in dire need
but I've now grown to realize that "give and take" is one of the key elements of a good relationship

Even if I get stranded or go into debt, my girlfriend acts nonchalant and she'll be the
last person that will ever render a little financial assistance to help my situation. You might say I should sit her down and discuss about it. Yes I've already done that and I made her understand that I actually postponed our introduction for no other reason but because I'm still indecisive if I want to spend the rest of my life with a selfish woman but her response shows she takes pride in being stingy

I even used logic to whine her younger brother recently just to be sure if she's stingy to me alone but the boy confirmed it that her sister is very stingy. I decided to carry out my findings on her brother because I believe he should know her better.

You might want to talk about sex but my belief is that sex is just a mutual pleasure and does not define what a woman gives to you in a relationship especially a relationship that will lead to the altar

What's getting me worried is that we've come a long way but I don't want to end up with a selfish woman because it's written all over her that she cares so much only about her own well being

Please advice your fellow brother. Do I have a reason to be worried? I've been jumping a lagoon for a woman who can't jump a gutter for me especially when it comes to giving. Should I tolerate this level of stinginess from a woman simply because I'm a man?

P.S: I'm still with her because she has other good traits

Please pardon my typos. I wrote this in a hurry