₦airaland Forum

virgo's. we are very gentle, we avoid trouble as much as we can.

He did not call me that friday, he did not call saturday untill very late at night after i called him. we were on the phone for a minute.

I was disturbed that night so i called him again. I once again said how i don't like the fact that things are not going well. he once again said the same thing and sweet nothings. he said that it was late, he's trying to sleep that we should talk in the day time. He did not call me on sunday. Today is monday. I was very distubed last night, instead of studying for my finals, i found myself sitting and thinking what i did wrong.
I decided that my health was more important. I called him 3x today he did not pick up, on the fourth call i left him a message telling him that the relationship is over and that i wish him the best. ( it was longer message)

right now i'm very relieved and happy, i know it'll hurt but i also know that i'll get over it with time. I turned my phone off, it will be off for a couple of days cuz i do not want to hear from him, i want to clear my head.

I finally decided to break up with him. I called him early in the morning, i left a message telling him to put all my stuff together that i was coming to get it at a certain time.
On getting there, he gave me a hug and asked what is going on with me. That he has been calling me for the past 4 days. i told him that i've been busy. he was like too busy for me? were you ignoring my calls? are you telling me you had absolutely no time to call me? at a point i told him that he sounds like me. He asked why i was taking my stuff, i said i needed to wash them, he asked if that was the real reason, i said yes. For some reason i could not do what i went there to do. he was like he missed me, glad i came, his reaction was very appropriate like nothing is wrong between us

The name i saw on his phone was actually a male. He brought his phone and spoke to the person in front of me. So i was wrong about that.

I do not know why i'm not satisfied with what he says, i still hurt inside. He says i know he's busy at work and blah blah. He did not call me that day again and the following day until i called him. I once again said something about our lack of communication. I asked him if he wants a break up that he should let me know, that i do not want to be heart broken when all is said and done. i told him that i was confused. he said he's with me, does not want a break up that i shouldn't talk like that, that he cares about me a lot. he also said that he does not want me to be confused, that i should relax.
Is there something wrong with me? do you guys think this guy really wants to be with me? I'm afraid that i might be falling inlove with the guy as much as i try to fight it, could that be the reason for my sadness and insecurities?

uyai-beautiful

Most of the guys who go back are taxi drivers and mental health workers who do three jobs to survive. A guy like that is intimated by well made young girl who is making more than he does by just having one job. They go back home and spread their hard earned dollars knowing very well that the girls will jump up on any dollar bill.

My uncle imported one like that, now not only did the woman openly cheat on him, he was jailed for laying a finger on her. Now she has the house and the kids while he pays child support.

My other uncle went to nigeria and did this very big high class state of the art weddding to this very tall 'sand beautiful out of the world woman. SHE WAS SHOCKED WHEN SHE GOT HERE. Not only were they living with in one room, they were living in his sister house married to my uncle above. can you imagine that.

Most of the time it has to do with self worth. A lot proffesional nigerians marry here. It mostly those mental health workers and taxi drivers who go back home at least from what i've seen and heard.

i decided not to call him again. We did not get into any arguement, i just stopped calling him. He called on monday i did not call back. He called Tuesday night saying na wa for u ohh i called you yesterday and you did not call me back. i said i was busy. He said he called to thank me fo the food that it was too good. I told him that it was rather late since i cooked the stuff on saturday.
I did not call on wed, neither did he, he called me today thurday. i did not pick up. He left a message asking what was going on that he has not heard from me in forever that i should please call him back. He had a frustrating tone.

I do not intend to call him anytime soon neither do i want to see him. if he gets tired of the no communication status, he'll move on.
What do you guys think?

@ seun, nagging means that a guy is not carrying out his responsibilities. If he does not want to be with me, all he need do is say so.

kai! londoncool nsu ke do. Hiv aba everywhere. Abadie? i hope ke london ukama ya afon.

Please keep the baby. or do you want to kill to please your parents? parents love granchildren, when once they see that beautiful baby their minds will soften. The most important thing is fact that SHE IS THE ONE you want to be with. Do not leave your rib you, might never find a replacement.

i haven't been home since i left in 2001. i miss it like crazy. there is no place like home. The food is what i miss most especially fresh food. here everything has growth hormone in it. banana is not like the the one back home. kai! i cannot wait to go home sweet home.

washington, ado dieh? owo ibaha ke ufok?

@ aproko
I'm feeling better. Although sometimes i feel sad.

I did something terrible though, i checked his phone while he was showering. I saw three female names in the call log, one female name had repeated entries so i guess that is who he might be seeing. i just laughed, i did not ask him though. He picked a call from the repeated name, i heard him say midnight. i asked if i could come over that night, he was like he wants to sleep well so that he can wake up and go to church. when i called him that night, he did not pick up. i called him Sunday morning. he said he was busy at work, i was like how come you did not call on your way back, he said he forgot. he did not call me that day either . The first time he use his phone to call me since saturday is today monday, i did not pick up. i do not want to break up with him. I just want to ignore him and move on with my life. when i don't see him and i don't miss him, it is only when i see him and leave that it hurts

But i'm doing well, maybe because there is a guy i'm thinking i might give a chance so it is less burden. thanks very much for your concern and candid advice.

Question, is it a bad thing if you can ONLY go to your boyfriend's house ONLY when he invites you? one time he told me not to surprise him at home that i might end up surprising myself!

@ Aproko thanks

I have decided to do just that. I've began the process of checking out emotionally. Yesterday he called the whole day and left a message and paged me, i did not respond. Today when i spoke to him he asked if i was ignoring him i said no, just Busy!!!!!.

Thanks for all the advice. I am becoming myself again.

@ wesleyana you do not get the point.

she was talking about nigerians that is is why i replied with that. Of course other africas are there too.

not only sons of lawyers go to prestigious school. if you are smart and you have agood GPA the schools come looking for you. There is nothing wrong with community college. when all is said and done it is what you study that matters not where you went to. A nurse with a degree from a community college will make more money than a person who read psychology in princeton. point made. she started the insult first on the wrong website!!!!!!!!!!

@ Aproko Thanks for the advice

I do give him space. I have my life. I am a full time student with a full time job. I think he's too authoritarian, that is his problem. He wants me to be there when he needs me but not vice versa. i think he has that typical African male attitude that my grandfather us to have. that attitude does not work now.

Has your man changed, or is he even more busy now.

@ all Thanks for your advice.

Things actually got worse. I have decided to move on from him, at least in my mind. I feel like he does not understand English even though he speaks it.

This guy chased me for a while, 3 years later i decided to give him a chance and he's now acting up. He had a day off but did not call me the whole day till about 9.30pm. he asked if i was coming over as planned, i told him heck no. if out of 24 hrs you had the last 2 hours is what you want to spend with me then no. Now he is mad at me saying i'm selfish, ME SELFISH. The guy is crazy.

Meanwhile there has been another guy chasing me too, not my Ex, i told him i have a boyfriend, he said he does not care that i;m not married that he can take me out. He told me that MY BOYFRIEND does not need to KNOW. Do you guys think this guy is genuine. Should i take a break or should i give this guy a chance. it's been a month now since i refused to go to dinner with him and he's unrelenting.

I told my boyfriend about this guy when things were good. he was like do you want to leave me?, do you want to kill me? that i shouldn't talk to the dude anymore. Now that my boyfriend is acting up, what should i do?

you go first

when did you realize she's not the one for u? after a year and 2days? come on

huh?

@ cute ass thanks very much. You have a lot of knowledge. i wish you the best in your love life too

@ chiogo yeah i'm in boston

you? where?



@ bigsis, you have no right to even open your mouth. You guys are some of the most uneducated individuals. when you do decide to go to college , it is for basketball and football. if that fails then everyone goes to their basement to do rap. Nigerians are the most smart and educated blacks on the planet. We are the BLACKS in all the prestigious USA colleges. A report was just made on this issue by PRINCETON. It is your e\country but WE are the ones using your resources. YOU know about that, that is why you are here. SO do not insult us. YOU should be proud to be in our midst.

@ big sis, your tone is like a typical African American woman. You have so much anger inside you with due respect, take it out on someone else.

Educated Nigerians use pidgin English. WE know when to use it and when not to use it. I don't know how many times i've been embarrassed at a meeting because one of your people does not know how to speak English. I do not need to tell you about nigerians, YOU BEING ON THIS SITE SAYS IT ALL.

@ cute ass Thank you very much for the reply, you don't know how much i appreciate a different point of view.

I spoke with him about the issue, he kept saying wahala oh!!!!!!, that i'm taking things out of hand. he said that i should stop worrying my head that there is no problem. he said that over and over again. Then he said that i'm the solution not the problem. I do not know what that means.

His friend called too, he called before my boyfriend did. i wondered if he asked him to, he said no. he just wanted to know how i was doing and if he's treating me right. I told him my issues. he reaasured me and told me he was going to talk to him.

I don't know, i'm still angry. both of them tell me i have nothing to worry about.

What do you think?

I am confused, i feel like i'm going crazy. My boyfriend has not been acting they way he use to. I mean when we see each other he's the same guy. But he does not call me like before. He's always busy. I have complained and complainded,i'm tired of complaing. Each time this comes up he tells me to believe in him and have patience. I do not know if i'm imagining things or if they are actually happening. How can you be busy all the time? can you be too busy to talk to someone you care about?

Because of his lack of attention, my Ex crip into my mind. He use to give me 110% love and attention. i broke up with him mainly because my dad would commit suicide if i brought a guy like him home. he is opposite of me. He is not in school and is doing music( RAP). We recently ran into each other at an African night event. We have been talking ever since. He still loves me and it is very obvious. I told him that i can't wait for him forever. I'm turning 25 sep he's turning 24. He told me that he'll continue to work on the things i told him to work on so that we could be together. I told him that i have a boyfriend now, he looked so visible sad that i moved on already. We have a special connection. I became a part of his family. His mom and dad loved me and use to call me all the time. I was known as wife to be in his family. his counsin even called me from Canada. His grandmother called from there too to pray for me!!!!!!!!!!!! so the break up was tough.

I am now having thoughts of him. I know i woulndn't have had thoughts of him if my boyfriend was treating me right. My ex and i are seeing, i'm afraid that i'm going to do something bad like cheating.

Do you think i should break up with my bofriend since he cannot spare one minute in 24hrs to check on me or should i go with the person that is ready to kiss the ground i walk on.

please i need a constructive reply, i'm in a big stress. I think i love both of them but i want my boyfriend not my ex.

@ bigsis, Those black accents and dialect are for illiterates. Educated blacks do not speak like that.

@ Ndipe u are right on point about us the ibibios

I went to AKS meeting one Sunday, you need to see how these people were cutting their tongues to speak english.

One of girls told me that she does not know how to speak the language, i wonder how she got her accent. ever since then i lost interest in the organization. The problem is we termed our OWN primary language " local" what is local about your tongue, your identity. We Nigerians we have a big problem and it all stems from inferiority complex.

123 kid i remember when he beat yokosuna!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I use to think wrestling was real!!!!. I even argured with my lil brother when i got to the states!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he laughs at me each time we talk about it

what in the name of GOD are u guys talking about??

hmm

oga seun God bless you, you are a forward thinker.

The first way to liberating nigeria from backwardness is to first address this issue of witchcraft. the funny thing is that all developed nations when through the same thing. In the States there is a " witch " town called salem. Some Nigerians do not want to go to school there because of that word. It is time to stop all these " fantasy" and come back to reality.

ndipe sorry for replying late, never heard of the website.