₦airaland Forum

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Location(s): • Lagos
Specialization: • Executive / Management • Advertising/ Public Relations • Manufacturing / Production
Industry: • Education Services
Application Deadline: 25 July, 2016
Job Type Fulltime
JOB DETAIL:

The University of Lagos was founded in 1962 to provide manpower needs for the newly independent Nigerian Nation. It is a city University located in the commercial city of Lagos.

Over the years the University has grown to be the Nation’s pride and the University of 1st Choice, with about 48,000 students and 4,000 members of staff.
Applications are invited from suitably qualified candidates to fill the
vacant positions below at The University of Lagos (UNILAG):

Job Title: Marketing Executive/Advert Traffic Executive – CONTISS 7
Location: Lagos
Department: Unilag Radio/Television

JOB REQUIREMENTS

MIN REQUIRED EXPERIENCE:

0 year(s)

MIN QUALIFICATION:

Bachelor’s Degree/HND

DESIRED COURSES:

• Mass Communication • Marketing

OTHER REQUIREMENTS:

Qualifications and Experience

Candidates should possess HND in Mass Communication or Marketing from a recognized Institution with a minimum of Lower Credit plus NYSC Discharge Certificate or Evidence of Exemption. SSCE/NECO/WASC/GCE O/L credit in 5 subjects including Mathematics and English is compulsory.
Relevant experience in Marketing from an Advertising agency would be an advantage.


How to Apply

Interested and qualified candidates should forward their applications which must be in fifteen (15) hard copies accompanied by relevant certificates and credentials. Such applications must be accompanied with detailed Curriculum Vitae (CV) showing the following:
Names in full
Place and Date of Birth
State of Origin/Local Government Area
Home Address
Present Postal Address
Sex
Phone Number (Mobile)
E-mail
Nationality at Birth
Marital Status
Number and Ages of Children
Secondary and Post-secondary Education (including dates and Institutions)
Academic and Professional Qualification (including Distinctions with dates)
Statements of Experience including full details of former and present posts
Names and addresses of three referees
Post applied for
All applications are to be addressed to:
The Deputy Registrar (Non-Teaching),
2nd Floor, Senate Building,
University of Lagos,
Akoka – Lagos State.

In addition to stating names and addresses of three Referees, applicants should request their referees to forward references on their behalf to:
The Deputy Registrar (Non – Teaching)
2nd Floor, Senate Building
University of Lagos.

Indicate the post for which application is made at the top left corner of the envelope. Candidates are also expected to log in via the Apply buttonand complete the online application and print out. The printed online application form along with the hard copies of the application should reach the Deputy Registrar (Non-Teaching)

http://www.metronews.com.ng/2016/06/18/job-vacancy-marketing-executiveadvert-traffic-executive-university-lagos-unilag/

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A popular trend in Japan is to drink water every morning right after you wake up, a routine that was scientifically proven to be beneficial to our entire overall health.

The Japanese Water Treatment:

Drink 4 glasses of water (160ml each) every morning right after you wake up, but before you brush your teeth. Once you drink the amount, wash yourself, brush your teeth, and don’t consume anything for the next 45 minutes.

You can continue afterwards with drinking your coffee, eating breakfast, or doing anything that you normally do. However, after you have each of your meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner) don’t eat or drink anything for the next 2 hours.

If the amount is too much for you at first, you can start smaller and then increase your dosage.

This treatment will make you feel better even if you are completely healthy as it will improve your general energy and health. On the other hand, if you have a certain condition, you will need to properly dose your water therapy.

Here’s a detailed guideline on how many days to use the treatment according to the lines you have:

High blood pressure – 30 days; Diabetes – 30 days; Constipation – 10 days; Cancer – 180 days; Arthritis – follow the treatment for 3 days during your first week, and continue regularly using from the second week until you notice improvements.

Once you start using the method, you will see how beneficial it actually is. There are no side-effects, except from frequent urination. Setting the routine is exceptionally useful to all people, and there’s no better way to star it than today!

http://www.metronews.com.ng/2016/06/16/lower-risks-cancer-diabetes-high-blood-pressure-drinking-water-like/

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The United States Ambassador to Nigeria, James Entwistle, has petitioned the Speaker of the House of Representatives, Yakubu Dogara, accusing some members of the lower chamber of improper conduct, attempted rape and soliciting for prostitutes while on official trip to the U.S.

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The Ambassador, in a letter dated June 9, 2016, addressed to Speaker Dogara, Mohammed Garba Gololo (APC, Bauchi),Samuel Ikon (PDP, Akwa Ibom) and Mark Gbillah (APC, Benue) had, on a recent visit to the United States for theInternational Visitor Leadership Programme, brought disrepute to the parliament by soliciting for sex from prostitutes and attempting to rape the housekeeper.

Ten lawmakers were invited by the US government for the International Visitor Leadership Program held between April 7 and 13, 2016 in Cleveland, Ohio. They include: Gaza Jonathan Gbefwi (PDP Nasarawa), Danburam Abubakar Nuhu (APC, Kano), Nkole Uko Ndukwe (PDP, Abia), Rita Orji (PDP Lagos State), Ayo Huliyat Omidiran (APC, Osun).

Entwistle’s letter reads: “It is with regret that I must bring to your attention the following situation. Ten members of the Nigerian National Assembly recently travelled to Cleveland, Ohio as participants in the International Visitor Leadership Programme on good governance.

“We received troubling allegations regarding the behaviour of three members of the delegation to the U.S. Government’s flagship professional exchange programme.

“The U.S Department of State and the Cleveland Council on World Affairs received reports from employees of the Cleveland hotel where the representatives stayed, alleging the representatives engaged in the following behaviour:

“Mohammed Garba Gololo allegedly grabbed a housekeeper in his hotel room and solicited her for sex. While the housekeeper reported this to her management, this incident could have involved local law enforcement and resulted in legal consequences for Representative Gololo.

“Mark Terseer Gbillah and Samuel Ikon allegedly requested hotel parking attendants assist them to solicit prostitutes The U.S. Mission took pains to confirm these allegations and the identities of the individuals with the employees of the hotel in Cleveland.

“The conduct described above left a very negative impression of Nigeria, casting a shadow on Nigeria’s National Assembly, the International Visitor Leadership Program, and to the American hosts’ impression of Nigeria as a whole. Such conduct could affect some participants’ ability to travel to the United States in the future.

“While the majority of Nigerian visitors to the United States do behave appropriately, even a few Nigerians demonstrating poor judgement leads to a poor impression of the Nigerian people generally, though it is far from accurate.

“Such incidents jeopardise the ability of future programming and make host institutions and organisations less likely to welcome similar visits in the future.

“In addition, most of the members of this group reacted very negatively to my deputy when she brought this matter to their attention, further calling into question their judgement and commitment to the goals of the International Visitor Leadership Programme. This leads us to question whether to include National Assembly members for other similar programmes in the future.

“I request, in the strongest possible terms, you share this message with members of the National Assembly so they understand the seriousness of these issues, and the potential consequences of their actions, not only for themselves as individuals, but also for the future of such programmes designed to benefit Nigeria,” he said.
http://www.metronews.com.ng/2016/06/16/3-lawmakers-sex-scandal/

H

Rest in peace.....The Big Boss!

Belt or Prick.....but na belt sha

ebubey:
Please wats dat hanging in front of his trouser
his belt or wat?

Qualer:
na the neck she no get... that's to tell you how far up she had to push it..
always remember to pray for the disabled!

See Cowbell factory

Check out these 3D street paintings

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cc lalasticlala

MORE PHOTOS>>>http://www.metronews.com.ng/2016/06/07/fantastic-the-best-3d-street-paintings-ever/

Emotionally abusive relationships are more common than you may think, with 48.4% experiencing emotional abuse. There’s no way to improve these relationshipsbecause the person manipulating you has a serious problem. The risks of allowing emotionally abusive relationships to flourish are significant. They can even lead to the difficult subject of suicide, and that’s something you absolutely have to avoid.

This guide is going to show you the main signs that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship so you can define your strategy to get out of it.



Everything is Your Fault

This is the classic sign of an emotionally abusive relationship. Everything seems to be your fault, and the reason for this is that most emotional manipulators are control freaks. No matter what you do it will never be good enough, and even if you do manage to do something right they could have done it better. You will havefear, obligation, and guilt in your relationship.

If you’re constantly feeling guilty for no real reason, this is due to the manipulation caused by the person you are in a relationship with.

Your Problems are Silly

Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with experiencing a problem or two every so often. But when you are made to feel as if every problem you have is just silly then there’s an issue. In most cases, this will be framed as you being ‘hysterical’.

But this is an overt way of calling your problems silly. Sometimes it comes in a far subtler way. For example, you may always have your bad day trumped by the other person, thus minimizing your problems and enlarging theirs.

You Get No Support

This actually comes as a consequence of always belittling your problems. If nobody is ever taking your problems seriously, you are not going to get the support you need. Furthermore, you are going to be spending all your time comforting them over their problems.

At this point, you are a rock for them with nobody backing you up. It’s what makes up a one-way relationship where you put everything you have into it with them giving nothing back.

And what if you voice your concerns about this? You’re just selfish.

Everyone Feels the Same About You

Another common trick employed by manipulators is to tell you that everyone feels the same way as they do. If they call you silly or hysterical, they will pair it with the belief that everyone else feels the same way. Now you believe that you are the problem, not them.

Rather than turning your emotional problems onto someone who should be supporting you, you are focusing back on yourself. And when you do this you are causing even more damage. This will send you into a downward spiral that your manipulator will take advantage of. They will make you believe that you need them to save you.

Direct Conversations are Impossible

Discussing something honestly with a manipulator isn’t possible. Every word you say will be turned around and fired back at you. The reason why this is so effective is because it’s done in a covert way. Watch as the objective becomes subjective and as a random line becomes all about you.


Any direct conversation with them will always leave you feeling worse about yourself.

Why it’s So Difficult to Break Free

It’s easy to see why it’s so difficult to break free of this destructive cycle. Everything they do is designed to make you feel as if you need them. It’s designed to make you feel as if you are relying on them. And that’s why most people never manage to break out of emotionally abusive relationships.

The only way you can do this is through recognizing the signs and taking an honest look at your relationship. Through doing this you will be able to gather together the courage needed to take a stand.

Conclusion – Why You Need to Act Now

Another key reason why people are unable to free themselves from emotionally abusive relationships is because they feel that the situation isn’t that urgent. The truth is allowing one of these relationships to flourish will lead to disaster. The fact is that you can fall into a pit of depression and anxiety because you feel as if you are constantly on thin ice whenever you are with the emotional abuser.

In the most extreme cases, it can lead to a mental breakdown and even suicide.

Liar! Pls check her previous posts on her profile. U dey form "BossLady"

b

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The heart of the land of igodomigodo
Yes..the heart of the land of igodomigodo
suffereth a phlebotomy

The sacred chalk has been broken
The savanah bush
rumbles from the incandescent foot walk
of the “phoenixian” leopard

Oh……the land of igodomigodo
suffereth a venesection

Aplomb in realization like the Egyptian
bird of Phoenix,igodomigodo’s
phlebotomized land shall drink soon
the traditional meriba’s aqua.

The Umogun scintillates…scintillates and
scintillates…..


https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1309455522404935&id=324478124236018

The Management of the General Hospital, Potiskum, Yobe state, has rejected donations of Hospital equipment from a member of the House of Representatives, representing Nangere/Potiskum Federal Constituency, Hon Sabo Garba.

Investigation made by our state correspondent revealed that, Hon Sabo Garba, who won the election to the Federal parliament on the platform of the People Democratic party (PDP) beat the candidate of the All Progressive Congress (APC) Hon Ali Yakubu Mainasara, at last years general elections.

According to a staff of the hospital, who spoke on the position of anonymity, it was explained that the management and staff of the hospital believed that they would be punished or lose their jobs if they received the items from the opposition party (PDP).

According to the source, the APC run state government had directed the commissioner of health to warn the staff of the hospital to reject any form of donations from oppositions parties including PDP.

Sequel to this, the PDP lawmaker yesterday accused the state government and the All Progressive Congress (APC) of instigating the people against PDP further stating that the governor had failed the state.

He said that, “the state government has failed to deliver the campaign promises to the citizens. If Yobe APC are blaming PDP and rejecting donations from its members, while also blaming PDP for 16 years of misrule, then we will start the change from my constituency.”

He added that, “ what is wrong if I donated equipment to the general hospital, the hospital was built since the time of late prime minister, Sir Ahmadu Bello in 1956, and is in urgent need of a facelift.

“I personally sent my own donation to help people of the state irrespective of political, religious and tribial differences. I am just doing it in good faith in order to promote our hospital. The hospital is the eldest in the northeast region, yet there is no water or light, and there is a lack of sufficient beds” said Garba.

He however appealed to the state government not to play politics with the state health sectors.

http://www.metronews.com.ng/2016/04/16/yobe-hospital-rejects-pdp-lawmakers-donations/

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New photos of the three-yr-old boy whose eyes had been plucked out by unknown men in January, this year, has surfaced with him looking better than we last saw him.

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The story of the toddler, Abubakar Usman, had been shared onFacebook by a concerned citizen named, Musa Saqafa, early in January.

Saqafa had commented on the photo:


Posting on his Facebook page, Saqafa who wrote in Hausa, said:

“Oh Allah, we are begging you in the name of your son, deliver us from those we know and those we do not know.

This little boy’s eyes were plucked by people who are looking for wealth by all means and in the most atrocious way, in Zaria.

Do not allow them to have peace of mind in this world. Let them meet their doom like in the days of Prophets Shuaibu, Salihu and that of Nuhu.

May you also heal this boy, give him good health and guide him, Amen.”

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Sadly, little Usman may never see again.

http://www.metronews.com.ng/2016/04/29/see-new-photos-of-toddler-whose-eyes-were-plucked-out-by-suspected-ritualists/

The monkey be like "Bae how far nah"

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The Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) has said that it is easier to conduct general elections than rerun elections.

This was disclosed by INEC Chairman, Professor Mahmood Yakubu while speaking with journalists in Abuja on Wednesday, April 27, 2016, Metronews reports

“It is easier to conduct general election than rerun. In general, you do general mobilisation and prepare generally. But rerun, that stands alone. Everyone is focused on it. It becomes too challenging,” he said.


“So far, we have conducted 49 out of 80 rerun elections. We have issued 20 certificates of return as ordered by the courts as well. Why elections are not conclusive? When there is a threat of violence, disaster and others, the commission is empowered to declare the result null and void. Also, where there is over voting.

“And where the merging of cancellation is higher than the winner, we will declare the election inconclusive. There are now two strong political parties fighting to gain the attention and acceptance of the voters,” he added.

He also said that the attention given to rerun elections contributes to them being declared inconclusive.

http://www.metronews.com.ng/2016/04/29/it-is-easier-to-conduct-general-election-than-rerun-inec/

The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) has recovered jewellery worth over £2 million (N593 million) from former Minister of Petroleum, Diezani Alison-Madueke and the wife of her associate, Jide Omokore.

An EFCC source also said that the agency recovered a watch worth £600, 000 from Alison-Madueke and one worth £1.4m from Omokore’s wife, Punch reports.

The source revealed further that officials involved in the arms deal fraud stole $15 billion not $2.1billion from Nigeria’s coffers.

“We have discovered that the total money in the arms scandal is over $15bn, not $2.1bn that was initially discovered,” he said.

“The $2.1bn was just for one transaction. Many of these military officers set up companies for the purpose of diverting money meant for the prosecution of the anti-insurgency war,” he added.

The former minister was arrested in London in October 2015 over allegations of money laundering.

http://www.metronews.com.ng/2016/04/27/efcc-recovers-2-million-jewellery-from-ex-minister-associates-wife/

A young man said to be a franchise officer with multi national telecommunications company, MTN, has been declared wanted by the Kwara State Police Command for allegedly stabbing his lover, Tosin Ashinwo, to death because she refused his marriage proposal.

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The incident which happened in Ilorin, the state capital, also saw the deceased’s mother, also stabbed by the man when she tried to prevent him from killing her daughter, who also worked with MTN as an online customer representative, inflicting severe injuries on the woman which has landed her at the University of Ilorin Teaching Hospital (UITH).

According to police investigations, the unnamed man and the late Ashinwo had been dating for quite a while but have been having serious disagreement over marriage as the lady was not disposed to getting married to the man because of his abusive nature and temperament and because he allegedly went out with several other women at the same time.


It was learnt that in the night of Sunday, April 24, the man and Ashinwo, who was in her 30s, had gone out on a date and returned to her house at Tanke area of the city, where the mother had also come on to visit her daughter.

Early the next morning, the argument about marriage resurfaced with Ashinwo allegedly maintaining her position, but the man was alleged to have threatened to kill her if she refused his proposal.

In the heat of the argument, Ashinwo’s mother reportedly came out of her room with the intention of settling the dispute but the young man was said to have dashed into the kitchen where he picked a knife with which he attacked the two women.

He reportedly stabbed Ashinwo several times on the neck and around her armpit while also stabbing the mother as she tried to intervene.

The Police Public Relations Officer (PPRO), DSP Ajayi Okasanmi, who confirmed the incident, said the command was already on the trail of the suspect and he will surely be brought to book.

http://www.metronews.com.ng/2016/04/27/mtn-staff-declared-wanted-after-he-killed-lover-for-refusing-to-marry-him/

h

Rat.....fear of lassa

Na wa o

Some of the common causes of infertility in women, other than endocrine factors, are the following:
Damaged fallopian tubes

Tubal disease affects approximately 25 per cent of infertile couples, and varies widely, ranging from mild adhesions to complete tubal blockage. Treatment for tubal disease is commonly surgery and, owing to improvement in microsurgery and laser technology, success rates (defined as the number of women who become pregnant within one year of surgery) are as high as 30 per cent with certain procedures having success rates up to 65 per cent. The development in IVF has now made it a suitable alternative to tubal surgery.



The main causes of tubal damage include:



Bacterial and viral infections

They are usually sexually transmitted infections, such as syphilis, chlamydia and gonorrhoea, which often result in scarring. A specific example is hydrosalpnix, a condition in which the fallopian tube is occluded at both ends and fluid collects in the tube.



A patient with hydrosalpnix going through IVF will experience difficulty conceiving because the fluid that is produced can damage the embryo.



Abdominal diseases

The most common are appendicitis and colitis (inflammation of the colon), high fever as in malaria. Abdominal diseases cause inflammation of the abdominal cavity, which can affect the fallopian tubes and lead to scarring and blockage.



Previous surgery

Previous surgical operations are also causes of tubal disease and damage. Pelvic or abdominal surgery, such as appendectomy for someone with appendicitis can result in adhesions that alter the tubes in such a way that those eggs cannot travel through them.



Ectopic pregnancy

An ectopic pregnancy is a potentially life-threatening condition that occurs in the tube itself. Even if carefully and successfully overcome, it may cause tubal damage



Congenital defects

In rare cases, women may be born with tubal abnormalities, usually associated with uterus irregularities.



Endometriosis

Approximately 10 per cent of infertile couples are affected by endometriosis. Endometriosis affects five million women in the US and six or seven per cent of all females. It has been linked to late marriage due to prior occupation with the busy schedule of work by these women, who delay having children till the late mid 30s or early 40s. In fact, 30-40 per cent of patients with endometriosis are infertile. This is two to three times the rate of infertility in the general population. For women with endometriosis, the monthly fecundity (chance of getting pregnant) diminishes by 12 to 36 per cent.



This condition is characterised by excessive growth of the lining of the uterus, called the endometrium. Growth occurs not only in the uterus but also elsewhere in the abdomen, such as in the fallopian tubes, ovaries and the pelvic peritoneum.



Symptoms often associated with endometriosis include heavy, painful and long menstrual periods, urinary urgency, rectal bleeding and premenstrual spotting. Sometimes, however, there are no symptoms at all, owing to the fact that there is no correlation between the extent of the disease and the severity of the symptoms.



The long term cumulative pregnancy rates are normal in patients with minimal endometriosis and normal anatomy. Current studies demonstrate that pregnancy rates are not improved by treating minimal endometriosis.



Abnormalities of the female reproductive organ

At least 10 per cent of all cases of female infertility are caused by an abnormal uterus. Conditions, such as fibroid, polyps, and adenomyosis(over enlargement of the endometrium), may lead to obstruction of the uterus and Fallopian tubes. Also, congenital abnormalities, such as septate uteru (a double cavity uterus), may lead to recurrent miscarriages or the inability to conceive.



Approximately three per cent of couples face infertility due to problems with the female cervical mucus. The mucus needs to be of a certain consistency and available in adequate amount for sperm to swim easily within it. The most common reason for abnormal cervical mucus is a hormone imbalance, namely too little estrogen or too much progesterone.



Behavioural factors

It is well-known that certain personal habits and lifestyle factors impact health. Many of these factors may limit a couple’s ability to conceive. Fortunately, many of these variables can be regulated to increase the chances of conception and one’s overall health.



Diet and exercise

Optimal reproductive functioning requires both proper diet and appropriate levels of exercise. Women who are significantly overweight or underweight may have difficulty becoming pregnant. We have been able to assist a significant number of patients to get pregnant ordinarily or following filed IVF cycle by getting them to go through a Mayr therapy and losing between 10 and 15kg in 10 days.



Drugs

Drugs, such as marijuana and anabolic steroids, may impact on sperm count in men. Cocaine use in pregnant women may cause severe retardation and kidney problems in the baby. It is, perhaps, the worst possible drug to abuse during pregnancy. Recreational drug use should be avoided when trying to conceive and during pregnancy.



Environmental and occupational factors

The ability to conceive may be affected by exposure to various toxins or chemicals in the workplace or the surrounding environment. Substances that can cause mutations, birth defects, abortions, infertility or sterility are called reproductive toxins.

http://www.metronews.com.ng/2016/04/19/conditions-that-cause-infertility-in-women/

Typically, regardless of age, race, gender, social history, or psychological underpinnings, the core signs and symptoms of sexual addiction are the same. In fact, nearly all sex addicts report, in some form, the following range of symptoms:
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1. Obsessive sexual fantasy and preoccupation
Sex addicts can spend days at a time fantasizing about, planning for, pursuing, and engaging in sex. The majority of their decisions revolve around sex, including what they wear, which gym they go to, the car they drive, their relationships, and perhaps even the career path they choose.

2. Loss of control

Sex addicts lose the ability to choose to not engage in sexual fantasies and behaviors. They try to quit or cut back, making promises to themselves and/or others but repeatedly fail in these efforts.

3. Related adverse consequences

Sex addicts eventually experience the same basic negative life consequences that alcoholics, drug addicts, compulsive gamblers, compulsive spenders, and all other addicts deal with, such as job loss, trouble in school, financial woes, ruined relationships, declining physical and/or emotional health, loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities, loss of time, isolation, arrest, etc.

4. Tolerance and escalation

There comes a point when the addict must take more of a substance or a stronger substance to achieve and maintain the same high that he or she seeks. With sexual addiction, tolerance and escalation occur when the addict spends increasing amounts of time engaging in the addiction or when the intensity level of his/her sexual fantasies and activities increases.

Over time, thanks to tolerance and escalation, many sex addicts find themselves engaging in sexual behaviors that hadn’t even occurred to them early in the addictive process. Some act out in ways that violate their personal moral code, their spiritual beliefs, and perhaps even the law. Some escalate to viewing illicit or bizarre images, and others simply lose increasing amounts of valuable time and energy to sex.

5. Withdrawal

With sexual addiction, withdrawal tends to manifest not so much physically, as often occurs with substance abuse (i.e., delirium tremens when detoxing from alcohol), but emotionally and psychologically. Sex addicts in withdrawal tend to become either depressive or restless, lonely, irritable, and discontented. As with tolerance, withdrawal is not a necessary element of the sex addiction diagnosis, but most sex addicts do experience the feeling of it.

6. Denial

Denial keeps sex addicts out of touch with the process, costs, and reality of their addiction. They routinely ignore the kinds of warning signs that would be obvious to a healthier person. Often, they externalize blame for the consequences of their sexual acting out onto other people or situations. In short, they are often unable or unwilling to see the destructive effects wrought by their sexual behavior until a related crisis shows up at the door.

Another way to look at the signs and symptoms of sexual addiction is with the “SAFE” formula developed by Dr. Patrick Carnes, a pioneer in the diagnosis and treatment of sexual addiction. Dr. Carnes uses SAFE as an acronym for Secret, Abusive, Feelings, and Empty. In his book, Out of the Shadows, he writes:

The question emerges for addicts as to how they determine when their sexual behavior is addictive. The following formula is suggested as a guideline. Signs of compulsive sexuality are when the behavior can be described as follows:

1. It is a secret. Anything that cannot pass public scrutiny will create the shame of a double life.

2. It is abusive to self or others. Anything that is exploitive or harmful to others or degrades oneself will activate the addictive system.

3. It is used to avoid or is a source of painful feelings. If sexuality is used to alter moods or results in painful mood shifts, it is clearly part of the addictive process.

4. It is empty of a caring, committed relationship. Fundamental to the whole concept of addiction and recovery is the healthy dimension of human relationships.

Throughout the 20th century, sex addiction specialists tended to place a considerable amount of emphasis on committed, monogamous relationships (see the “Empty” portion of the Carnes SAFE formula) as the endpoint of recovery from sexual addiction.

Over time, however, we have learned that marriage and long-term commitments are not an absolute requirement for everyone wishing to achieve sexual healing and/or sexual sobriety (unless one is already in a committed, long-term monogamous relationship).

In today’s world, healing from sexual addiction can encompass many types of meaningful, open, and honest sexual or romantic connections — as long as they are not secretive, abusive to self or others, repeatedly used to avoid feelings, or causing problems to the addict and/or the addict’s loved ones.

In short, sex addicts needn’t be married to be in sexual recovery. But they do need to be connected to their sexual partners and not treat or use them as objects. In fact, there are individuals in sexual recovery who have experienced such significant early life trauma that they might never be able to create and sustain meaningful monogamy.

But that does not mean they can’t heal, be in recovery, develop meaningful interpersonal connections (sexual and otherwise), and feel happy and at peace with themselves. In other words, today we see that sexual recovery is less about cultural norms and more about personal integrity relationship building that may or may not involve sex, and the elimination of impulsive and problematic sexual behavior.

http://www.metronews.com.ng/2016/04/25/6-signs-youre-dealing-with-a-sex-addict/