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Nice comments so far. More

Let me share with you this insightful article I found written by a parent (Lisa Levey) . She just expresses what I have been thinking about lately.

During an athletic event, we watch the incredible talent of young athletes from around the world strut their stuff. The cameras repeatedly show the eager parents, watching intently from the sidelines, no doubt riding a roller coaster of emotion. What parent watching hasn’t wondered: What do they know that I don’t? What is the special sauce for raising that kind of child—a successful one?

I contend that this thinking—endemic among modern-day educated, affluent parents—has led to a kind of parenting horse race that is making us all miserable. The pressure to get your child involved in every possible form of enrichment, so that they can be successful and get that competitive edge, is palpable in cities and towns across the country.

Now don’t get me wrong. I am all for hard work, dedication, and achievement. I greatly admire those who strive for their dreams and probably would be characterized as a striver by those who know me. And I think that exposing children to many activities while they are young, to discover what they enjoy and where their talents lie, is certainly a good thing. But the reality is a large majority of parents and children experience the full crush of activities as just plain too much—too much time, too much money, too much coordination, just plain too much. Where’s the common sense? Where’s the joy?

The word “success” as applied to children disturbs me. A quick Internet search on the definition of success focuses on achievement, prosperity, popularity. Now that is a certain aspect of success but certainly not my emphasis as a parent. To me the job of a parent is to help children discover their strengths and passions, to learn the value of hard work and, yes, accomplishment, to instill in them compassion and respect for others, and to figure out how they can be a contributing member of society. I’ve found that our modern focus on raising “successful” children seems to have transformed parents from guides or mentors to talent agents, continuously looking for the next angle to best position the child.

More disturbing, the focus on success gives the false impression that parenting is an input and output scenario, like creating a blueprint or programming a computer. The thinking seems to be that if you fine-tune all the details, the end product (your child) will be just as you had envisioned—successful and happy. If only it were that straightforward. And frankly it’s way too much pressure. In reality parents can mostly get it right and still their child may struggle mightily or they can make a whole lot of mistakes and their child’s greatest strengths may come from those learnings.
I suspect a better alternative than raising “successful children” is to bring down the stress—for ourselves as parents as well as for our kids—and instead focus on:

Giving kids an anchor– One of the greatest gifts parents can give their kids is a home environment that grounds them and makes them feel safe. Furthermore, in our overly connected world, giving kids a place to process all the stimuli of their busy, modern lives seems essential.

Helping kids develop life skills– We get so focused on helping kids develop their talents that it is easy to forget that life skills will best serve our children over the long run. Some of these essential “life skills” include critical thinking, seeing things from another’s point of view, self-directed learning and taking on challenges. Parents can teach their children these skills by sharing their values, their personal challenges and successes, and their own life lessons in the simple day-to-day interactions with their children.

Enjoying your own life– In the rush to give our kids every opportunity, we can easily forget that parents matter too. As part of a dual-career family, I know just how easy it is for the activity schedule to take over, but I also know that when I feel constantly pushed to the limit, I’m not a very good resource for anyone. Having parents safeguard some time for their relationship with each other—and for their own passions and interests—may be one of the best things we can do for our kids. Children want their parents to be happy. It provides them with a deep sense of security.

So instead of defining success as “maximizing your child’s potential,” how about redefining success as helping children learn to love learning, helping them be comfortable in their own skin, helping them get along with others, and helping them figure out how they want to make a contribution to their community and their world. Those are important tools for finding success.

NB : I made some modifications to the original piece written by Lisa Levey of libraconsulting.com

Share your Opinion

Cats are just too quiet for my liking. I'm a quiet person and I wouldn't want another quiet creature in my house. We will end up suspecting each other. I'll go for a dog even though I hate it when they bark.

ok

Please do the needful. Thank you.

Who cares? All I know is that Nigeria has no ebola anymore

I have heard of similar cases like that of Mr. Kunle. People need proper orientation on the importance of drugs

Scary

This is an enlightening topic, please move it to the frontpage. Thanks

Very much in line.

frontpage please.

more comments

frontpage please. Thanks.

When your father calls you 'my friend' it is not good

I pulled this off a blog. Enjoy.

The Nigerian Experience
Nigerians are so big on respect. They love to be respected and they teach their children to respect everyone older than they are, even if they’re just two minutes older. Please whatever you do, do NOT greet a Nigerian elder with ”hi” or ”hello”, it does not end well;
You: Hi aunty
Aunty: Ehn? Hi kwa? Can’t you say ‘Good Afternoon”
There may or may not be ensuing slaps. I believe respect is also the reason why children are not allowed to drink malt, No? Even in weddings! The servers will pass by you or give you coke, Fanta or Sprite if you’re not an adult.

-No one punishes like Nigerian parents. It’s a fact. The fear of your parents is also a very good place for wisdom to start. When you have committed, your parents will call you by your full name (Chukwuemeka Obinze Nwokolo) and after a dialogue that is actually a monologue of them shouting rhetorical questions like; ”Am I your mate??- at you, they will proceed to either flog you or hit you with anything from a spatula to slippers. God bless you if their weapon breaks on your body, because then you will be beaten for the loss of the weapon. Also, do not attempt self defense, you might destroy the weapon and like I said, that doesn’t help you.
And do not try to run, they will throw things at you and catch up with you. So, don’t do it.
Also, whatever you do, do NOT respond to any accusation your Nigerian parent makes because it will be held against you.

”Why are you just coming home?? You were with that boy again abi??”
”Daddy.. we just went to…”
”Shut up! Are you talking back at me??”

-Nigerian parents are the lords of sarcasm and bitter irony. When your father calls you ”my friend”, it’s not good. They also have the habit of calling your name a specific number of times (they know this number) designed to instill fear and then they’ll ask- ”How many times did I call you??” - when you’ve done wrong. They’ll say things like - ”Ask me!’ ‘ when they don’t know the answer to your question or ”oya beat me!” when you try to defend yourself against them.

They’ll tell your teacher to flog you, yes, they might plead with her to flog you very well if you do wrong. You might be fortunate to have parents on the other side of the spectrum who’ll come with a cane to flog your teacher after she has flogged you.

-Try not to correct your Nigerian parents, especially in English related issues. If they’re in a good mood, they’ll laugh and say;
”Ha! It’s not my language oh!”
If they had a bad day?
”So, you now have no respect abi? Is that what they’re teaching you in that your school?”

-Nigerian parents are not pro dating. They are pro marriage. They expect to see a prospective husband or hear about someone coming to ”knock door” when you’re twenty five but they expect you to never date anyone.

They are not the greatest in sex education either. This is what happens in most Nigerian homes when the girl begins to menstruate;
”Ehen, Amaka. Now, if a man just touches you, you’re pregnant oh!”
-They were all straight A students in their time. You have no business failing any course.
”Mummy, I had 90% in Mathematics!”
”Ehn… Where’s the other 10%?”
Daddy interjects: In my time, I had 98%
minimum!
Well, what can we do? This is why Nigerian students do very well everywhere.

-Nigerian parents do not understand the
song choices of this generation.

Nigerian parents are very squeamish about saying ”I love you”. You have to say it first. Many Nigerians have never actually heard their parents say ”I love you” to them. They love you, they’re just shy. I know, it’s cute.

-If you were raised in a Nigerian home, especially if you’re female, you’ll know that every morning, you should sweep the house and its environs. Basically, you clean every day like a health inspector is coming to visit. The only problem is that Nigerian mothers are stricter than the average health inspector.

-Nigerian weddings are the greatest! Food and dance! The problem is that it starts two to three hours later and to be an MC you have to be a proficient ‘apologist’ to apologize constantly and promise to set the guests free on time.
Another problem is that people will probably fight about food and drinks. And insult those serving and accuse them of enormous partiality. You also have to bring a gift or forget about receiving a soh-veh-niah (souvenir).
We invented spraying money on the couple while they dance happily. And then we dance on the naira notes.

At a Nigerian event, it is most likely that you’ll be unable to see in front of you, thanks to the many gele wearing women.

-NO NIGERIAN PARENT WILL PAY YOU FOR DOING CHORES.
”I’ll use the money to feed you. Who pays your school fees??”
They will even make you wash dishes and clothes when you have a dishwasher and washing machine. Do you want your husband to send you home?. No? Ehen, wash.

-Hot chocolate like ‘Milo’ is called ”tea”.
In Nigeria, no one drinks tea. It means you’re suffering because you can’t afford milk or you’re trying to lose weight. *shrugs*
-Visitors show up without calling and eat all the food in your house and leave a mountain of unwashed dishes. At least, its not as bad as family that come to stay for a week and stay a year.

And now, some final fun facts;
-In Nigeria, an average road side seller of ‘Gala’ runs faster than Usain Bolt.
-Nollywood movie witches are 100% scarier than Freddy from ‘Friday the 13th’.

-Nigerians are accustomed to doubling words, e.g; ‘follow follow': A person who follows the crowd. ‘Chop Chop': Someone who loves to eat. ‘Kata Kata': Basically trouble of massive proportions.

-Nigerian breakfasts are the greatest. They range from akara, bread and akamu to yam pottage. They’ll have you either sleepy all day or extra fortified depending on the kind of person you are.

-No one makes declarations like Nigerians;
Calling the name of their hometownwhen they slip ”Isiokpo oh!”
”The devil is a liar!” can be a declaration, confirmation or question.
”Jesus is Lord!” comes in handy in times of profound shock.

-A Nigerian child is everyone’s child. Your mother can call your neighbors to beat you. Yes. Or they’ll just come on their own. This is why everyone both related and unrelated to you is your ‘aunty’ or ‘uncle’.


I love Nigeria. I love my parents and all Nigerian parents and every time I see other children who weren’t raised properly, I’m grateful to my parents for teaching me courtesy, respect, self sacrifice and patience. Appreciate your parents! They love you.

Let's hear your funny experiences growing up as a Nigerian.


Source: http://ihundasmusings.com/2013/05/08/being-nigerian/

Good morning mynd, please take this to the frontpage. Thank you.

Some people are so poor that the only thing they have is money. Hmmm...this is deep.

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hmmm... serious debate going on here!

This is nice. Very thought provoking statements.

At this point, I have to partially quote my statement on page 1

vikel2104: Hey guys, Let's just have a normal discussion... Work with what was said and don't imply what might not be the posters intent. Everyone is entitled to his/her opinion.

what's your observation

frontpage thank you

What is this?Op, you're really walking on a lonelypath 'cos I doubt if people will click that. Kindly employ 'copy and paste' and redeem yourself. Just post the complete story here... if there is really any story...

oyb: Sexual deviation is not an exclusive male preserve.

huh?

Hey guys sorry this reply is coming a little late, I've been offline for a while. I edited the topic because I think people misunderstood what I meant earlier. I guess different schools have different meanings when they say nursery. In most of the schools I know daycare is different from nursery. For instance the people I know start nursery school from around 3 yrs of age. Greatgod even thought what I was refering to included primary school as I noticed in her first comment but decided to let the discussion proceed a little bit to clear up my suspicion. Read our discussion on page 1 This was my reply to Greatgod's post.

vikel2104: Greatgod2012, I actually meant nursery school that is before primary 1. I think you misunderstood it. I was suprised when you said you've seen 15. You might want to edit your initial post to clear that up. I'll try to make it clear in my original post so that people don't get confused again

I edited the original post at around 9.52am yesterday when this topic was on page 1 and there were just about 40 comments. I thought people would notice it. This confusion came from the way schools are structured in different localities/countries. EfemenaXY, Chillisauce, jennykadry, cococandy and everyone concerned, I apologize (on my knees ). I have reverted back to the original post since the discussion has progressed in this direction. Sorry once again. I take all the blame for not been clear enough from the outset. Thank you for your contributions.

soonest: If una never mention feminism,una no go sleep well for night.smh

Seriously, the thing don tire me. I mean, don't they ever get tired of the subject? See how they've invaded this thread It must be an obsession.

There are two questions on this topic. Everyone seem to be focusing on the second. I'll ask again, for the guys, would you take up a job as a nursery teacher? Why? Why not?

@rolled and Banana bender abeg you people should go and roll/eat this banana somewhere else please. I don't want to see any banana peel (insults) on this thread again biko.

greatgod2012: yeah! You're the one to edit your post now to reflect that you're referring to kids in nursery classes only and primary pupils not inclusive.
Thanks.

ok. I'll make it clearer.

greatgod2012: Ok, but with due respect, again, when we hear nursery school, personally, what comes to mind is all these private nursery and primary schools we enrol our kids in, and i went on to say that in my kids school, we have about 15 or more in their school, not specifying which level, i just sain........IN MY KIDS SCHOOL.

Yes. I get it. Nursery and primary schools are usually combined. They are usually not separate. What we usually have are things like ABC Nursery and Primary School. I get it.