₦airaland Forum

Afta 10 sec, make sure u rinse off with candle wax







p.s. Bunmioguns is really a prof in cases like this though.

Bobo. Add me on bb. We gatta ping

A bus loaded with passengers was travelling from ph to lagos through benin. Before d journey of 30 miles began, an old woman in d bus told d conductor nd driver to alert her once they got to benin. They agreed nd the journey began. Soon, d old woman fell asleep and since nobody else was dropping at benin, the conductor nd driver forgot abt d old woman. 5 miles into lagos nd 15 away from benin, d old woman woke up nd asked if they had reached benin. The driver nd conductor realized their mistakes nd apologized but d old woman would not take it. She complained hard nd so, d driver on the consent of d other passengers who had pity on her, reversed nd went back to benin. Afta a long nd tireless journey, they arrived. D conductor in a haste to make up for lost time told her that they had reached benin so she could drop. He started offloading her bags. But the old woman shouted 'noooo, ayam dropping at lagos but my pickin say i should take my drugs when i reach benin'





D passengers fainted.

Easy. Just soak ur joystick in hot oil for 10seconds

Donde estan vis jookas- were is the.......
Sorry. Nice joke. Got me laffin

mikuz: i like girls who rock pink bras.

dats d swag
(singing 'am a pink rocker yeah')

Y all dis craze abt d result. If its out, u'll definitely see it on d news. Dont let anyone take ur anxiousness as a reason to cheat u. Be patient. Use dis period of waiting for ur result to pray dat u make it.

Mikuz. First time u gat me giggling. Nice one

A man travelled to d village for his father's burial. On getting to tillage, he decided to showcase his city formings. He complained abt roads, his father's house d local food infact everthing. He decided to take a shower. His sister told him dat d water was in dbathroom. On getting to d bathroom, he found out that it was thatched, small nd open. He went inside, removed his clothes nd hung them on the open roof bathroom. Wen he had rubbed soap all over his body, he heard a scraping sound. He turned nd discovered someone was removin his clothes. He peeped nd saw a naked mad man. Without thinking, he ran out of d bathroom naked nd began chasing d mad man. D neighbours went astir. They began shoutin 'a mad man on d loose o'. On sightin him, they shouted 'two mad men on the loose o'. The young boys of d community chased him and caught him, then, (watch out for part 2)

A man called his friend to complain. He said ''Can u imagine, i was at home all day, watching a football match, listening to the news on the radio, reading a newspaper, pinging on my bb,eating a sandwich, drinking beer, scratching the dog with my foot and my wife had the nerve to tell me i was sitting doing nothing''

It still continues...

I laff d capital laff

bunmioguns: JOKE GRADING: C


REMARK: Join Projan to be a good Joker

nope. Projan sounds like a prayer point.

dani1luv: is this one okay

is dat a feature of NL1

I pity u

Na mistake make me comment

eldav: E pain am wella

e no pain me. I just dey laff say i still get my sense of humour while harmattan dried urs.
Ubuaa

booqee: I've been thinking, wouldn't it be cool if we decide to take nl jokes section to another level. Like say, lets us meet in real life?!
We could just organise a small dig just for d purpose of meeting each another, and feel d real us. Dunno bout you guys, but sometimes i itch to know d real swtchicgurl, bunmioguns, bingbagbo, vicky, donkollione, jackpot, idowuogbo, lucario, sutoboy, ekeroyal, otooro mustspin, eldav, agybabe, homar, araregem, bright, new bin, dyt, toygod, dani1luv, ben10 oderemo, skales, etc. and d rest of us! Its gonna be fun, i think!

But what dyou think??

abeg... Who is in dis ur group of 'and d rest of us'.
I would av loved ur idea if not dat my na *ink finishes*

dani1luv: na joke be this??
and this mumu was criticizing my joke!!

dundiiii at least its beta dan ur poke to a joke

Suto sign up for projanpjc

Can i laff plssss?

Its ur sense of humour dat has gone dry. Jeayosiii

kody-licky:
stale

go mop ocean

swtchicgurl: copy and paste!
mtchew!!!

go boil ur head

Some yokes so so annoying.




*logs out in annoyance*

Policeman- hw many people u carry for taxi so?
Driver- na only four passengers and two aboki wey i carry.






Abi aboki no be passenger or en dey hang for taxi door

mikuz: Is this a joke?

yes it is a joke but i expected u to ask ur normal 'where is d joke'. U r growin up

A very rich man held a party. He invited all the young men who wished to marry his beautiful daughter. He gave them a test. Whoever will marry his daughter in addition to inheritin all his wealth has to scale through his pond full of crocodiles. Immediately he finished announcing, a young man jumped into d pond.the young man scaled d pond successfully. The people applauded him immediately he came out of d water. The rich man went to him to congratulate him but d man backed of saying ' i neither want ur money nor ur daughter. All i want is d bastard dat pushed me inside d pond.

Seriously speakin, did u consider ppostin dis in d no comments thread

There's this thing all three hundred and four hundred level students are make take in their second semester. Not drugs. Entrepreneurial development. It's not a new course but it's been newly modified to help students prepare themselves for the real world. Yeah right! Their words not mine. Anyway, this new form is kinda funny. I refuse to think it's creative. Everyone is expected to pick a venture for practical classes. Not more than 15 ventures for over a thousand students. Quite the logistics. So I decided to pick water treatment as a venture for no particular reason and then I found out their classes hold at the school water factory very far from school. Hell Nah! Venture dropped. And then I decided to switch to Snail farming. You know, farming is getting lucrative these days and it's all about the dough. And yes, I guessed right, classes at the school farm way down the staff quarters and shuttle buses don't even ply through that area. Sorry! I can't take tgats sacrifice for a two credit unit course. Finally decided to switch to my long time fantasy- Website development and blog designing. I actually thought this was going to be my last stop till I found out I was the only one from my department heading towards that direction. Oh wait! I'm all for being different, standing out of the crowd, being unique in pursuing your dreams and all those stuff teens say to give themselves a warped inflated ego but in this case, No compromise on that. I had to switch to the venture that has this pulling effect on most people - Baking. And I really D I S L I K E this class. Crazily crowded! On Thursday after a baking round, the baker, prolly out of pity on the students decided to share the baked goods despite instructions from the organisers not to let students have a taste of what they bake. She hadn't even finished saying pick one each before the dragging started. Mehn, the struggle is really real. I laughed till the woman sent me, Nah practically chased me out of the hall.
She fixed another class on Saturday and I skipped it. Not because I hate Saturday classes or because I feared I might fall into another uncontrollable laughing fit.
I wonder how the exams are going to be.
Practical classes should equate to practical exams. Going by this logic, if what you bake turns out delicious; you get an A, Semi delicious; a B, half done; C, burnt; D, Too spicy, salty, whatever that ends in y and rhymes with e; an E and 'F' no idea. Scary marking scheme. Just my thought though. Hope it's wrong.
Someone else told me that the results of the general theory classes we did in first semester will just be used as a grade for this practical classes. I wish. Oh I wish. But then what happens to those who got an F in the first semester? Double F?

I bin laff small but on second thoughts, i realize say d joke dey too watery