₦airaland Forum

First of all, pardon me for writting text messages instead of a text message, because the aunt actually sent a text message.

(NUMBER 2) Because i didn't reckon that this topic will go this far, i omitted some part of the story at the beginning which i thought was irrelevant.

The girl got to my apartment around 8p.m. in the evening, she made me realized that her aunt knew about our first meeting which she consented to, but the subsequent ones was without her consent. She said that her aunt has made several attempts to reach her while she was on her way to my place but she refused to pick up the phone. But her aunt still kept calling her while she was with me.

At around after eleven in the night,  after several attempts by her aunt to reach the girl on the phone failed and before she received the text message from her aunt, my telephone rang, and when i picked it up, i was greeted by an angry voice of a woman which turned out to be her aunt, telling me that she knew who i am, where am living and that she read all the text messages that i,ve sent to her niece including the one with my home address, she also knew that her niece was with me at that moment and i should make sure that she return back home immediately.

From the way the conversation was going the girl knew it was her aunt on the line and with the look on her face she seems to be in a state of schock trying to figure out how her aunt came about my phone number. I denied the fact of ever seeing her niece on that day which she didn't believe and i made it known to her that even if her niece had been with me, i wouldn't have  had the courage to sent her home at that time of the night. And apart from that reason, i thought to myself that i still have a mission to accomplish (sorry ladies, i know that sound a bit unserious, but that's how most of the men think at the bebeginning) which turn out to be one of the best ever.

In between the conversation she tried as much as possible to downgraded the girl with lots of abusive words like how cheap the girl was and bla, bla, bla, , i was already a bit upset but didn't cut off the phone because i thought that might be an opportunity for me to get to know the girl better through her aunt. She said every bad thing about her to discourage and to discontinue me from going out with her , except that she never mentioned that she is an illiterate (probably she thought i was aware of that already or maybe for some other reasons). May be if she would have said that, that might have had some effect on me, but she didn't. (Thank God)

But one thing that i felt so good about from that night till today is that i never for once have the feeling that the girl is a slot like her aunt claimed, not in her physical appearance, personality and moreover a slot would never have been so romantic and had such a high magnetic friction like i experienced with her continuously until my holiday in Nigeria was  over. Not since my first girlfriend and not since i was a teenager. First time after many years that i never had to jump into a river or a bottomless a pit.

Finally, when the aunt realized that am not responding positively to her, she threatened to knock on my door the next morning with the police and to make a scene at my place. At this point i was completely angry and i said to her, "try it if you can and i will be definitely waiting for you". I eventually cut the phone on her.

What the girl wasn't aware of, is that her aunt has gone behind her back to check her phone and now back to your questions racheal84.
I'll start with the second question.

racheal84:
if she cant read or write, how is she reading the text messages her aunt sends and [b]why would her aunt send them if she knows the girl cant read?[/b]and i think if you love her like you say, youll find a way, as another person said, its not a disease

If you have a niece that is unable to read and write and she is constantly receiving text messages from the same person, certainly she has a means of understanding the text messages (for example, someone might be reading out the messages for her) and like i've already pointed out in my statements above it's natural and out of curiosity that her aunt went through the girl's phone behind her back to find out what the message was all about and who the Sender is. And again, i later discovered something, due to some kind of actions that her aunt took in the following days. She didn't come to my house the next morning after our conversation on that night, eventhough i was more than ready for her, but rather she went to the house of her two close friends that she knew with her to make a BIG SCENE  including the friend that introduced the girl to me. Some other small stupid things later follows. Her actions really became desperate.

In a way i believe that the aunt is scared of losing the girl for her own selfish interest and hence preventing every possibility that might lead to the girl from being exposed.

The same aunt sent the girl a text message a couple of hours later, something she has never done before according to the girl. Why did she choose to do that I guess maybe it's because her aunt didn't believe my story that i didn't know the whereabout of her niece in the first place and she might have thought that if the
girl could received text messages from me in the past, she  must have had a means of understanding the text messages. So her aunt thought she could as well send one too, with the belief that the girl would find a way of understanding what the text message meant. I think the aunt must have guess right.  Actually, it never took the girl more than a minute to understand what the message meant . HOW?

First question,

racheal84:
if she cant read or write, how is she reading the text messages her aunt sends[/color] and why would her aunt send them if she knows the girl cant read? and i think if you love her like you say, youll find a way, as another person said, its not a disease

[color=#990000]Answer: simple!!!  She might have used me.

The fact that she is uneducated doesn't mean that she is not smart or doesn't have the ability to do many things educated people can do, it might just be limited. I believe they have the ability to memorise or recognise shapes, symbol, figures, letters and,,,,,  and,,,,,  and,,,,,. 
Somehow she knew the text message was from her aunt, and she showed it to me (like hey, read what my aunt's has just  just sent to me), unknowingly i read out the text message and i asked her what she is going to do about it, since her aunt doesn't want her to return back home anymore and that's just all  she did for me to read out the message for her to understand. I must confess she's smart. Now i realized that with just that  simple move she made on that night, she succeded in killing two birds with a stone. She understood the text message and her secret still remain secret, at least till i left Nigeria.

Just read this 2 comments at work, I'll be back with the answers when i get home

(1)

racheal84:
if she cant read or write, how is she reading the text messages her aunt sends and why would her aunt send them if she knows the girl cant read?

(2)

Busy_body:
Very wise observation Oya poster over to you to come and explain

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If only i knew a way out of my SELF PRIDE problem, i guess things would have been much more easier for me to tackle. I,ve thought about it and tried several times to imagine how the reactions of my family, friends and colleagues would be if they should know about it. Knowing fully well the kind of family that i've got and the mentality of my circle of friends, it's really not going to be an easy task for me to tackle in silence because of the length of time that might be involve in brushing her up to the minimum and acceptable educational standard that i want. Although i can arrange for an Adult learning programme for her in Nigeria and can as well afford to fly down to Nigeria 2 times in a year just to see how she is progressing, but is that not a long story anything could happen in my absence, you all know what i mean, like external influence.

On the other hand, i have the option of bringing her to the UK through marriage, that might speed up things a bit and will enable me to follow up her educational progress personally.

But then, marriage is a great step in life, no healthy thinking person would want to repeat that twice. Now the question is, falling in love with a woman in a short period of time a good reason enough to face all this challenges and commitment
Along the line many people will get to know about her illiteracy , i completely agree that illiteracy is not a disease but how many people are sharing this opinion in our society Of course not the majority, we all know how people think about the ones who are less opportuned to be educated in our society. I wouldn't find it funny if anyone disrespect me or my wife just because she is less advantage to have an education, eventhough i know she is not going to be uneducated forever if i should one day be married to her, but it's definitely going to be a great

challenge and of course it's a BIG DEAL according to WATERWORKS (f) and BOLAJORDAN

waterworks:
NUMBER 2 If the poster is ready to marry her she will need to meet up to a certain standard. one where she can relate on many levels with the poster regarding, work and being able to offer more entailed advice and ideas. she might need to broaden her horizons. you should at least have the basic knowledge to at least help your children with home work, encourage them to read, correct their spellings etc. Yes there is always the option of the lesson teacher but it creates some sort of bond. (as i child i always looked forward to when my mum guided me with me assignments, daily class summary's and when i showed her what i had done in school that day it helped that she understood!).

all im saying is that it is actually a big deal and it would take patience and commitment. it all depends on what the poster expects from a partner.

IT is not a reason to leave but its not a piece of cake either.

bolajordan:
From a male perspective i think u should have a lengthy conversation with her about the challenges and task involved 4 her in particular to bring her to the minimum acceptable level of education to cope with the day 2day living activities in UK where i also currently resides. If shes up to the challenge then i don't see why you can't go ahead with the marriage intention, illiteracy in not a big issue in Nigeria hence the outburst from all the female commentry but life without basic education in UK is another topic and my guess is u plan to live together after marriage in UK. .

I pray to pluck up courage and motivation needed to see this through, hoping all is worthwhile at the end of the day.

Finally a male opinion!!! Thanks to everyone so far for your swift response

I met this polite, humble beautiful, gorgeous and simple hearted 21 years old young lady on my 4 weeks visit to Nigeria from UK in April 2009 through my colleague's girlfriend. My initial plan with my colleague was to go to Nigeria and have as much good times as our energy can carry us with the girls . But then, things take a different turn when i set my eyes on this girl and after 3 to 4 hours of chatting and entertainment i discovered that my initial plan has failed even before i have the chance of starting it. We clicked from the first moment together, we met 4 times the following week, go to places together, eventhough we only spent some few hours together, for me it was always a golden moment , sometimes my colleague and his girlfriend were together with us, but each time we met, she had to go home after some few hours because of her aunt who kept calling her on and on, on her mobile phone that she is needed at home. Hence is my dream of spending a night together with her was in jeopardy. The times we couldn't meet, we talked on d phone, but what was strange was that she never reply any of the text messages that i wrote to her, instead she will rather call to talk to me. After my 3rd week in Nigeria and after lots of complain we finally had a chance to spent a night together it was a beautiful night except that her mobile phone kept ringing on on as usual, of course it's her Aunt again calling and sending text messages that she shouldn't return back to the house anymore. Anyway to cut the long story short,  i knew am in love with her already and she with me as well, she risked a lot meeting with me eventhough her aunt wasn't in support of this. I arranged for her accommodation before i left Nigeria, we talked every 2 to 3 days since i was back to UK but only to discovered some few days ago that despite the fact that my girlfriend can speak simple good English and as beautiful as she is, but can not read and write.!!!
She never had the chance to get to know her father, he died when she was a little girl, she was brought from the village  and left by her mother for her aunt in Lagos to sent her to school and raise her up but instead she grew up helping her aunt in her hairdressing saloon and at home while her aunt children were having a proper education. Am really confused about this whole situation and really don't know what to do. Like i already said we clicked from the first moment, in and out of bed except from the educational level. I was already dreaming of  marrying her, but now what Please i need some good advice on this matter.