gh0sts:
The only person Pops can tolerate is Nana. I can't blame him though, she's his wife. Don't get me wrong, Pops is the sweetest, most amazing father. But, people easily irritates him including his own children. The phrase; ' distance makes the heart grow fonder ' was specifically meant for Pops. The logic is, don't stay at home for too long. When you are out, say school...Pops will suffocate you with incessant calls and monies. But, come home and in a months time he's already wondering why your life has been paused. So now you understand my plight.

I had finalized everything about school by November. So by January, I was old news already to Pops, although he tries to tolerate me being the baby of the house. He probably didn't make any move because of the holidays. Come February, and Pops was already trying to know why I hadn't gone for service yet. I had a friend who was serving in Kebbi state. I explained to him that she had to come back first, before I leave. That was just to hold him up for a while. So, I had to start looking for information. Because, the only thing Pops hates more than you just staying at home is you not being able to explain why you are home. I had to gather information before I irritate him even more. Nairaland was a sure bet then. I was always on the NYSC section. Fast forward to April and my friend came back from Kebbi state. Pops became frantic. He wanted to know how I offended NYSC that has made them keep me in his house.

Finally, it was time for registration. Pops hurriedly gave me the money the moment I told him about it. You could tell he needed me out of the house. I hate stress and rush...at least it's what I tell myself when I'm being lazy. So I kept my lazy ass at home, while others went to register. Second day into registration and my course mates have called to tell me the slot for the three major states have been exhausted...yimu, it's not like I wanted any. Lagos is too rowdy, and for someone like me, I'd probably die of anxiety before I get to the orientation camp. Abuja is just a capital city and nothing else...an expensive capital city for that matter. Rivers is my state, nothing else. Since Pops is already clearly chasing me away, I wasn't gonna be crazy enough to come back to meet him. I relaxed further after I heard that. It was with the speed of light I rushed to the café after I heard the rumor that late registration equals stream two. I provided the necessary information. Finally I had to pick states. I wasn't confused at all, I've done my research. I chose Plateau, Enugu, Kano and Ondo. Plateau because, I heard it has the best camp in the country, one of the most beautiful landscapes in the country...how can I not like that. And It's cold climate, that attracts the white population. Funny me, I didn't bother to make research on each local government...I just checked jos and ticked yes. Enugu, because of it's serenity. Kano, because the other options I saw were nothing but shit. Ondo because I had this guy then that told me he'd die if I don't pick it. And I didn't want to cause the death of anybody na.

I rushed home and cried like Jabez that God should enlarge my coast to Enugu and Plateau. But not as far as Kano or as west as Ondo. Nana joined in my prayers, cancelling Kano and my very own Plateau. Not knowing my deal with Ondo na.
On the eve of the posting, to say I was excited would be an understatement. I kept refreshing pages on the internet, just so I don't sleep. My laptop was on one corner of my bed playing something I wasn't interested in. By 12, I rushed to the NYSC portal, logged in and proceeded to check. No updates have been made. Is like NYSC don't have a functioning clock? I rushed to nairaland to be sure it wasn't just me. it wasn't, so I waited. By 1, I checked again.
I literally heard the sound of my breaking heart. It left it's spot in my chest and moved lower to my stomach. My head spinned. The red colored font was used so that even the colour blind could tell. 'sorry you are not with this stream' was written on my page. 'How could NYSC be this cruel to me?' I gasped. My village people must have succeeded, I thought. Out of frustration, I turned off my phone. I didn't want my busy bodies course mates to call me and tell me their good news. I saw NYSC officials and my course mates laughing hysterically at me in my dream. When I woke up, the ray of light seeping into my room gave me a slight headache. Plus my lack of good sleep. NYSC sef was all I could mutter. How was I gonna break this news to Pops. I summoned courage and switched on my phone. The sound of WhatsApp messages entering my phone continued like a tribute to a celebrity. I opened my department group chat. I could see people complaining about being on stream two...even those that should be grateful that they were mobilized. I shook my head. I barely comment on the group, even though we are just about 23. A small department like statistics is always like that. Well, I kept reading...and then I stumbled on the comment of one girl. When she first checked, she had seen same thing I did. Only to check again to see that she had been posted. Right then I knew my God doesn't sleep. I rushed again to the portal. Logged in and checked...Hallelujah somebody. I saw the green letters of the letter. I scrolled down. State posted to: PLATEAU. My heart returned to it's position and I had strength again. Now Pops can hear this. Plateau here I come.