₦airaland Forum

agitator: English or German
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "S" will replace the soft "C". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "C" will be dropped in favour of "K". This should Klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "PH" will be replaced with "F". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und after ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

natureblack: If "Twerking" could find its way to Oxford English Dictionary then I don't see any big deal to these ones. Buh get to think of it,English is kinda hard


we'll begin with box,the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox is oxen,not oxes
One fowl is goose,and two are called geese
Yet the plural of mouse is never called meese

You may find a lone mouse or a house full of mice;
but the plural of house is houses,not hice.
The plural of men is always men
But the plural of pan is never pen.

If I speak of a foot,and you show me two feet,
and I give you a book,would a pair be beek?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth
why shouldn't two booths be called beeth?

If the singular's this and the plural is these,
should the plural of kiss be ever called keese?

we speak of brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother,we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he,his and him
But imagine the feminine ...........she,shis and shim.





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