₦airaland Forum

Kissbliss:
wow. And i was here thinking ve heard it all. One thing we do here is give advice n make suggestions but the final decision lies wit u. Like i tell young girls who come to me, courtship is fine but if it takes too long it becomes ugly. Wen i first read ur post i was thinking. God! Dat list must ve been quite expensive but i dnt think so now. Here are my suggestions;
1. Its likely dat his parents dont really like u n are not in support of d marriage hence d problems once he goes to d village. Probably they ve someone they deem a better candidate for him.
2. Maybe he is developing cold feets and he is not sure marrying you is the ryt choice to make.
3. They myt b a secret, or a problem. Something u dont know about him which is standing in the way. He doesn't know how u will react wen u find out.
Well, my advice is simple. Its never wise to marry into any family dt doesn't like u. I believe u need to make a stand n so does he. Communication is very important. Make him tell u wat the problem is n promise to help him work it out. Personally i wonder, if d wedding is ds troublesome how will marriage be? If all ds things can't be resolve 'soon' then u myt just ve to let him go so someone who understands you myt come in. If he is having second thoughts about marrying u then i think somethin has changed for him. Find out what and take ur stand. It myt hurt to let go but it gonna hurt more in d long run if u keep holding on to an illusion.
God bless u

martinz1:
Female private tutor
Only females?
Funny dude, u've not told us ur intentions

aisha2: I lost my mother to cancer, I was in my final year at university when she was ill. I moved out of the hostel to care for her. Most days I had to be forced off to school to write my final exams. I didnt mind having an extra year, all I wanted was to be close to her and do all it takes to make her all better.
Only God knows how I passed my finals as all my concern then was to help her scratch her body when itching, massage her pain, give her sponge bathes, carry her and love her. Even though we had hired care givers I felt I could do it better.
Till today I thank God for that opportunity as that was all I could give her back for all her love, care and sacrifices, she wasnt around to get my first salary or any thing but joy is that I did my best for her when she was ill.

May God help any silly boyfriend then who would have complained that I was spending to much time with her or call me a "Mummys girl".

andromida: I don't think you should ignore your feelings, yes you should be understanding about his mom's illness but he should not have kept building a house you will both live in after the wedding from you. A house is too major a decision for him to keep you in the dark, you feel sad because you know what he did is not right with you.

Five years of knowing you and how you feel about building a house in that compound then he blanks you and begins a building without informing you. This feels like avoiding any conversation about it and quietly strong arming you to do as he feels best so if you go ahead without thrashing this issue out expect more and more of this in the future. I would equally be sad.

You need to communicate how unhappy and alone you feel when he is making decisions that affect the both of you as if your feelings are unimportant to him, you also need to be certain you can accept your opinions being overlooked in the marriage however speak with him first about the house and every other thing you wrote. You don't trust this man has your back and you cannot be watching your back like you are single when in a marriage it will just build a mountain of resentment in your heart.

aisha2: The guy has a land in his village, You come in dictating for him where to buy land. Do you know the cost of land in town? How much are you going to contribute to the venture and fund your own advice?

What is wrong with us ladies really?
We have twisted our minds so much and created problems for our selves.

The man and his family seem okay from your other explanations, you are the paraniod one who has already created a problem in hermind and fed her fear to the man who may not have enough money to buy another land now and so has to secretely start building on the one he has something you both should have been doing.

Is it not this family upbringing that made this man the man he is today? If they were a terrible domineering family would you even enjoy the love and peace you currently enjoy?



Is it not this same family that keeps him grounded?

Like I said while I had my own place my husband lived with his parents till we got our own place, I never asked why or even make it an issue and one day he told me himself. With the resources at his disposal and the kind of city we live in, Living alone would have turned him into a



nightmare as there is so much drugs, cheap se-x and what have you in that circle not that he couldnt affford it and its the money saved from not renting that funded part of our investment.

Stop steroetyping people abeg. This is a good man, deal with your own fear and stop making him panic over a non- existant problem jare.


When men dont give us trouble by womanising, drinking and acting out we start looking for how to manufacture trouble

Sophyrocks: I dnt know what you are still waiting for. The mere fact that he is even a mama's boy should shake the cells in your brain to know what to do. I fear for you. If you can't tell yourself the truth now that you have the chance then I dnt know what to tell you. Honestly ask yourself 'is this how i am gonna live for the rest of life'? Please use your brain. Its not rocket science.

Dygeasy: The annoying thing is how people begin to tell their partners things they don't like or expect changes after getting engaged. Do you guys just date for one month and propose? I don't get it.

bellong: You think there are no spiritualists or juju loving people in the USA?

KwoiZabo: why shld Amaechi recruit 13000 teachers at once? Don't the Schools have teachers before or what? even if, couldn't he have done it in batches? secondly, why should he make all of them come to one place to collect their letters? it means that some of them might have travelled from distant LGAs to collect these letters; It is either Amaechi is not wise enough to know that he should take these letters to their various LGs or he wants to make a show or cause a scene with the crowd. Thirdly, he has been in office for six and half yrs he did not recruit these teachers he is only doing it now to score cheap popularity and increase recurrent expenditure for the coming Administration in the state. SMH we are not kids.

marleymcintosh: She was the cute chic on industrial attachment while i was the new guy fresh from training school. Then, people started calling us husband and wife so i brought their teases to reality by capturing her. Soon i got tired of the steady weekend straffing and office smooching and wanted out because she was acting too desperately...like a fiancee. We stopped talking in a matter of months.
Fastforward a year after, she foung love, got married to my very close pal. He still doesn't know of our dirty little secret.

yuzedo: Bro, dis wot [size=14pt]23hrs 79mins[/size] of had work evryday in side my banana iceland undergrand jim can do. Maybe one day u can be like me if u work had. Ladys are free to hola. tenk.