₦airaland Forum

In one of the posts I read recently on this thread https://www.nairaland.com/5655385/why-it-men-these-days, a lavylilly came up complaining on how men now consider the lady's profession and all before getting serious with the relationship. In her own words, love has been compromised. Her opinion is that love should come first before the person's attributes - physical appearance, profession, background etc. She sighted example of a cleaner in a bank who had difficulty finding "true" love as a cleaner until she put up a fake lifestyle that portrayed her as a bank staff. The man that married her thought she was a banker until after they wedded.

After reading her article, my thought is captured below

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I beg to take exceptions on your submission. As good as your words might sound to the ear, there's absolutely nothing wrong with someone having specifications of the attributes of whom they want to be with. Actually, everyone has the kind of people they are attracted to.

Often times we quote love as the most critical consideration for marriage. That may or may not be true depending on how you define love. Regardless, love must be based on something. When you see someone and love them, there's always a part of them that make you fall in love. It could be their kindness, intelligence, humility, carriage, industry, piety, motivation, confidence, goodwill; there's definitely that attribute you see and vooom you're falling in love. For instance, I have strong attraction when a girl is smart and diligent; that's me. Another might have soft spot for anybody who is a celebrity class, a nurse, a church sister etc. Same way, ladies have attributes they want in their man and they go all out looking for that man. That's what they mean when they say, "...man/woman of my dream". It means they already painted a picture of the man/woman in their imagination.

Now, faking your lifestyle to attract a partner that's not in your class is a futile and stupid venture. Eventually when every secret is laid bare, neither of the partners will be fulfilled in the union.

Even as a cleaner, there will definitely be men coming to her and loving her for whom she is. What you might be true is that such persons coming her way as a cleaner aren't the type she looks forward to meeting. That again proves my point that everybody has the kind of person they want. If your type isn't coming your way, the reasonable thing to do is to upgrade instead of faking it. Who says a cleaner can't become a regular bank worker. A cleaner can go back to school and obtain the requisite degree if that's all that matters.

For all that matters, there is always someone in your class who would want you. But don't be in class C and be complaining that men in class A ain't loving you for who you're. If you're a C class, open up to people in your level. If you insist on class A, then upgrade to that level.

My two cents though

are you married?

Preshy561:
Stupid and idiotic post from a deadbeat father sympathizer.

To all mothers who left with children following a bad marriage,make sure to do the following.

. Never say bad things about your ex to them.

Always ensure they see him. Try to take them to him it is important they know themselves the kind of father he is.

When it is time for school fees especially, tell them to ask him, if he sends them back to you, they will know you pay( children never forget).

On his birthday,remind them to reach out to him and on their birthdays if he doesn't call( 99% a bad dad will forget), they will know this.

Encourage them as they grow older to maintain family ties with their father, his family and half siblings if any. If the family is mean and dangerous, keep them away until they are grown and independent.

To be able to move on with your hustle, just tell yourself that you married a good man but he died and left you by yourself to bring up beautiful children you both love very much and then trust God to bless the hustle. God will not fail you.

Do not spare the rod. Be firm and make them street wise for life is tough out there so prepare them to face the world outside. Discipline them, teach them enterprise make them know God.

When the children are 16, tell them everything that happened. Don't lie, don't make excuses,just say it. You will be amazed how much they know the truth anyway. I was shocked about 11 years ago when my daughter recalled in detail a moment when she was 3 years old�.

Be very protective of the children; Watch your male friends and keep your friends circle small. Be around those who love and trust you.

When you have healed and it's time to move on with your life, introduce your children first to him and probe into the man's background( please check).

Never stop being a mother, always ensure your children bear their father's name. Talk to them about their village and take them to visit even for an hour; they need their identity.
Preserve pictures of you and ex and give it to your children when they turn 18 as souvenirs for life. Their children need to know who their grand parents are(were).

Keep a clean and welcoming home and fill it with love. Your babies will grow up stable, happy, loving and kind.

ok

proclinician:
U need to report this dude to efcc. He has to be charged with obtaining by false pretense. A serious offence.

He said he paid three years house rent and he has only lived on the house for a month but his landlord threw him out because he's too busy to stay at home, and then he packed his belongs to his studio.... after lieing that he turned down tuface offer to be his music producer

ok

jeff1607:
you met the wrong dude sis.

Not all guys behave that way

The Lifematics Centre is an educational company focused on making Mathematics fun and easy to students while improving creativity, critical thinking and problem solving skills.

We are recruiting to fill the vacant position below:

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Requirements

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Must understand and be proficient in Primary and Secondary School Maths content
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Must love teaching
Must reside in Lagos State
Must speak English correctly.
Additional Information:

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Application Closing Date
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How to Apply
Interested and qualified candidates should send their Application Letter and CV (which should include your Date of birth) to: contact@lifematics.com.ng Using the "Job Title" as the subject of the mail.

Note: Kindly ensure you fit the stated requirement before you apply.

obonujoker:
Don't be foolish... Why not apply for jobs at CBN or NNPC or jump and pass to ivy league schools?

The Lifematics Centre is an educational company focused on making Mathematics fun and easy to students while improving creativity, critical thinking and problem solving skills.

We are recruiting to fill the vacant position below:

Job Title: Mathematics Tutor

Location: Lagos

Job Description

The Lifematics Centre is looking for competent Mathematics Tutors to teach Primary and Secondary School students Mathematics.
Job Task

Aid student in understanding Mathematics topics.
Evaluate and grade students' exercises.
Requirements

Bachelor's Degree in Mathematics / Statistics.
Must understand and be proficient in Primary and Secondary School Maths content
Applicants must be proficient in the use of the computer and internet.
Must have strong communication skills
Must possess leadership skills
Must love teaching
Must reside in Lagos State
Must speak English correctly.
Additional Information:

Fresh graduates are highly desirable (not more than 10months post NYSC).
Application Closing Date
31st January, 2020.

How to Apply
Interested and qualified candidates should send their Application Letter and CV (which should include your Date of birth) to: contact@lifematics.com.ng Using the "Job Title" as the subject of the mail.

Note: Kindly ensure you fit the stated requirement before you apply.

MY STORY
I met this guy online, I liked him and I think he liked me back. I didn't want to date him but I just wanted us to be good friends.
He told me things he likes and the ones he dislikes and I did the same too
We were doing just fine until he started controlling my social media lifestyle, I obeyed him to some extent I couldn't and I got fade up.
I asked him why was he trying to control me, here was his response "Seriously I am trying to change u but it seems so difficult, I mean what can offer to me not as if you have Big ass and boobs... Yazga you're not my kind of girl "
Since then I realized that it is really bad for a lady to approach a guy first and disclose her emotional feelings for the guy because it makes you look desperate and of less value to the guy.

Please if u love a guy keep it to yourself until he's being able to reciprocate.
As for me I've learnt my lessons.

LordAdam16:
@OP, read about cryptic pregnancy.

It's possible to carry to term without noticing symptoms.

-Lord

Have you ever loved someone thinking he or she is your last bus-stop and the person starts behaving like roundabout.
Share your experience

But the funniest thing is that I am over him now, I can't be more grateful to God for that...,
I understand the anguish y'all going through but you ought to be thankful to God for that, you know why? Because It is his handiwork! he knows what is good for us and he intend giving us the best!
Most of us once prayed to the Almighty to remove whosoever that is not meant for us and bring the one who is'. He heard your prayers! so why waste those precious tears?
#GodsPlan#

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THINGS A GIRL WISH HER BOYFRIEND KNOWS.
1.when you break her heart,the pains never go away.
2.when she misses you, she is hurting inside.
3.when she says its over, she still want you to be hers,possibly want you to treat her right.
4.when she walks away from you mad,she want you to follow her.
5.when she stares at your mouth,kiss her.
6.when she's mad at you, reassure her of your love.
7.when she ignores you give her your attention.
8.when she pulls away, pull her back.
9.when she pushes or hit you,hold her tight.
10.when you see her at her worst,tell her she's beautiful.
11.when you see her crying, hold her and don't say a word,give her room to think.
12.when you see her walking, sneak up to her and hug her from behind.
13.when she's scared,protect her.
14.when she lay her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her.
15.when she steals your favorite jacket,let her keep it for a night.
16.when she teases you,tease her back and make her laugh.
17.when she doesn't answer you for a long time,reassure her that everything is okay.
18.when she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth.
19.when she say that she really like you,she really does more than you can understand.
20.when she grab your hand,hold hers and play with her fingers.
21.when she bumps into you,bump into her back and make her laugh.
22.when she tell you a secret,keep it safe and untold.
23.when she looks into your eyes,don't look back until she does.
24.stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.
25.don't let her have the last word.
26.don't call her hot,but gorgeous and beautiful is okay.
27.argue that she's the best girl ever.
28.when she says she's okay,don't believe it,talk to her about it because ten years later she'll still remember it.
29.tell her you love her more than she can ever love you.
30.call her at 12:00am on special occasion to tell her you love her.

Girls shud I increase the volume?

NED is unilntelligent.

Dukeolumidemans:
Am just trying to imagine an intelligent man without money. And also an intelligent man with a small 2.1 Calliper engine. Hnnnmmmm. Omo Iv slept over it and d result is the same. Las las she go gbe ja (Ben Johnson) jooooor... if na lie ask Regina Daniels...

WHY WOMEN FIND AN INTELLIGENT MAN SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE

1. When a woman is intelligent, she wants a man who can engage her intelligence

2. Intelligent men don't always talk about sex, they have much to talk about. A woman gets wowed by depth

3. Women get attracted to a man who they can admire. An intelligent mind is admirable

4. Deep sexual attraction starts in the mind, an intelligent man will get to the mind of an intelligent woman

5. Intelligent men have proven they explore for knowledge, that is the same hunger and passion they will use in exploring the woman, her core and her body. She wants to be studied

6. A woman is more than a sexual being; she is an intellectual, spiritual, social, creative and complicated being. An intelligent man taps into all that she is

7. An intelligent man inspires growth. Women love being with a man who they can learn from or experience growth with. She will find herself drowning in the presence of such a man, with him as her man, she will melt in desire and the longing for adventure

8. An intelligent man who is not full of pride is easy to work with, easy to hold conversations with. Women get turned on by intimate talks. Give her quality conversations and sexual intimacy will be heightened

9. An intelligent man has grown himself to a point where his face, eyes and demeanour alone can speak. All he needs to do sometimes is give his woman a strong look and she will feel his intensly guarded sexual control and energy

10. An intelligent man has a strong micro-climate around him. He walks in the room, the bedroom with confidence, his presence is felt, he is a strong spirit with a deep mind. He leans by his woman and she wants his chemistry surrounding her

11. An intelligent and loving man describes her body in a mature way, he calls out her body. How he talks about her breasts, behind, thighs, smile, eyes and essence in such a sophisticated and studious way makes her blood boil. She surrenders to him because of his intense love that is expressed in such an intelligent and creative way

Intelligence is about being grown mentally, whether or not you have a University Degree, Masters or PhD. It is about being wise, thinking higher thoughts, respecting all women, and elevating and valuing the one and only woman you love.

A woman finds a smart, grown, deep, knowledgable, attentive and faithful man so sexy.

Rukkydelta:
Are you a player?

DEAR LADIES,

BEST RELATIONSHIP ADVICE FOR YOU!

1. Please do not let a man know you are madly in love with him, don't let him know that you cannot do without
him. He will take you for granted, cheat on you or do anything he feels because after all, you love him so much.

2. Never cry, stress or die over a boyfriend, he's not your husband for God's sake. Boyfriend is not a legally accepted man, so why cry or take poison because he broke your heart? He never loved you then.

3. As a lady, give yourself some respect, you must let your man
know that you can survive without his money. Don't be requesting airtime, money for hair or clothes from him. Find a source of income and he will respect you.

4. Stop proving that you are only good for sex and dating, not good for marriage. Men as are smart and wise when it comes to choosing a marriage partner.

5. Don't feel as if the world is coming to an end when a man decided to walk away from you. Don't beg him to stay, you are too precious to beg for love sister. He will treat you like trash.

7. Don't try to force yourself to love a man, its like teaching a pig how to appreciate beauty and cleanliness.
Don't force them let him go.

8. Don't waste your valuable time trying to convince or beg someone to love you. Someone out there is sinking deeply to love you but you are chasing broken dreams why?

9. Never feel sad if someone else prefers another lady over you. It doesn't mean something is wrong with you. It simply means you were never meant together.

When it comes to the issue of marriage, a lot of things need to be considered like the tribes or states to marry from especially if you are in Nigeria. While many can confidently say that their states are the best places to marry from. Researches have shown that women are women but some culture actually prevents women from fornicating.

In Nigeria, the Anambra people are all over the place claiming that their women are the best, that people can marry from Anambra state. Personally for me, if you must marry from South Eastern part of Nigeria, Enugu state remains the best place in the East.

So back to my topic on the best tribes to marry in Nigeria, I have listed the very best here based on my experiences over the years.

1. Kaduna state(South): Their women are so humble and respectful and you will surely give marriage a thought.

2.Enugu state(Nsuka): They are very lovely, beautiful and outgoing. They are the one set of Igbo girls who does not care how much you have even if you are drinking garri they will surely stick with you.

3. Adamawa(kilba tribe): These girls are so caring and loyal that you will sell your father's house to marry her.

4.Lagos(Yoruba): This is where you will find many educated and liberal Yoruba ladies who don't give a dime about tribe and religion. They are very fun to be with, Believe me you won't know when you got hooked.

5. Benue(egede): They don't demand a lot but can commit and get you committed

6.Cross river(calabar): The food and the thing they give you will trap you forever. In Fact, they are known to be the best when it comes to food but some can be very promiscuous.

7 Kogi(Igala): Their love is so enticing you can get enough and they are faithful as well.

So these are the best places to marry from if you are planning to get married in Nigeria. But honestly, women could be funny at times, so one needs to be prayerful when planning to marry a particular tribe. Some will say the Igbo girls are the best while the Yorubas are

So i went out on a date after burying myself in work for months but i wish I never did
Uncle has being disturbing me for Months now and after so much work at the office, i decided to go but didnt know i was going to have d worse night ever.

He offered to come pick me up but because I don't want him knowing my place of work or house until I am sure of his kinda person and certain I want him around before I could allow some closeness so i decided to take a bike instead and meet him up at d place. Getting there, uncle was nice, his smile and approach was so gentle that I was already in love so I decided to wear d good girl look and be nice too, we got talking, I realised we had same likes and similar interest in life.

We spoke for long, laughing and teasing each other on a first date o, it was so good, bill came up i knew i couldn't pay half of the bill but I insisted on contributing which he refused but I kept on insisting till he accepted, I felt great meeting seeing an understanding man with great sense of humour, i enjoyed his company so much that i wish we could stay longer but we had to leave because it was getting late, he then offered to drop me home but i refused and he walked me to the road side where I got a bike and head home, very early the next day, I got a call from uncle, I was so happy and thought I had something going on, not until uncle said he enjoyed my company and would like a hook up(paid sex) with me the next day, I felt insulted and had to confirm if he knew who he was calling, he reminded me of the previous night and how free I was to be around but he just wanted hook up and said he is willing to compensate heavily now I had to be strict and told him to please stop as i don't do hook up and i felt insulted by his request he went further to like i should stop playing hard to get and that he wasnt asking for a free sex. I had to end the call after warning him never to call back.

Months later, uncle called back apologized for his behavior the previous time and was like he wanted something serious as he has fallen in love. I felt sorry for him thinking he bringing up or mentioning d word marriage will make me fall so stupid,

Now my question is, why do some people just meet a lady and are so bold enough to ask for hook up when they fully know u aint a prostitute and know where to get one but just have this guts of trying to spoil a good girl and why do most guys feel marriage is the right trap for a lady who wouldn't give sex either for free or paid and i must say that was the worse date ever, thinking of it now, I wish I stayed home and soak garri with smoked fish instead of smiling and falling for a man who would reduce your value to someone he can buy with his money. Let's hear your worse date line

Is it right to tell your spouse everything that goes on in your family?