Age is really nothing but a number. I've met some 40/50 year olds that act like 16 year olds and some 20 year olds who are very mature. I dated a 40 year old who acted like a 14 year old. Age ain't shit! Your person is your person, its not an age thing. So if a met someone younger who i connected with deeply, i wouldn't have a problem with it at all. But to each his/her own. at the end of the day its what works for you, and its your life. What people think or say is inside their own pocket!

Hmmm, i was able to experience it both ways to an extent.

When we were growing up, my mum used to say we shouldn't mix with children from broken homes, that they have bad characters and aren't well brought up. Ironically my parents divorced when i was like 18 or 19. I dare anyone to tell my mom that her children aren't well brought up, bros my mama go finish u!

However my parents had a very acrimonious marriage and i grew up in a household with almost no love and encouragement and lots of fighting!! We would sometimes be subtly forced to take sides and then be punished by the opposing parent for doing so.

In our opinion, their divorce was like 8 years too late, cos it left all of us with truck loads of baggage, insecurities and issues!It is only after they divorced and actually quite recently that i began to deal with and overcome my issues which had hindered my relationships and progress.

Until you experience it you can never understand how traumatizing it is to grow up in an unhappy household. Some of that shit scars you for life. I feel that people who say  "stay cos of the kids", need to start really finding out what's best for those kids ooooo!

I love my parents, but i can't help wishing they had really taken time out to they were not good for each other much earlier and saved us all the trauma!

To some extent  what influences my decisions towards marriage and relationships is based more on when my parents were together, than when they separated.

I will never ever put any of my children through what i went through! Which to me means i have to think long and hard before i marry, cos i want to marry for life and raise my kids in a happy home.

My point being , some women from 'unbroken" homes have just as many issues and are bad wife material. The woman who was stabbed to death recently by her husband, may have still been alive today if she had walked away. i read somewhere that she didn't leave 'cos she didn't want her daughter to come from a broken home'. Unfortunately now the girl doesn't even have a home in the true sense, mother dead, father , !

I can't say authoritatively whether or not ladies from broken homes make good wives, but i do believe that it depends on the individual, we are a result of our own individual choices. External events affect us as much as we choose to let them.

However if you're not comfortable with marrying a lady from a broken home, by all means don't. At the end of the day it's what works for you.

allanohize:

In fact on the contrary, ladies from broken homes have a better tendency to make better wives especially in Nigeria. Just like children from poor homes have a better tendency to be good financial managers.

They have suffered the pains of not being with both their parents. They have seen their friends from stable homes. They lived their lives wishing to have stable homes. They learnt the hard way what stable homes can provide to the psyche of children. They swore that they would do everything possible not to repeat the mistakes of their parents.

Children from stable homes are more likely to take too many things for granted. They are more likely to grow up not understanding the amount of sacrifice needed to keep a home together. Most people commenting so far are only doing so because in Nigeria, we have been conditioned to believe in the superstitions of ancient times. In Europe, America and other developed countries where divorce is very common, ask this same question and you will see a different class of opinions from respondents.

At the end of the day, it boils down to the individual and not the background of the individual per se! Too many things will come to play.

Arsenal is better than Man U!

Does this argument hold any sense? Depending on what your bias is, you can always make a case either for or against the above statement.

Eba is sweeter than amala! Depending on what you prefer, you can argue for or against.

Children whose parents did not beat them can never make good fathers! What nonsense! My parents never, ever, beat me, I am 34 presently with 4 kids, and I can boast of being one of the best Nigerian dads ever to pass through this world.

Some of my uncles and aunts once told me that Edo girls are all LovePeddlers and never make good wives! I married from Edo state, and she is from a double broken home, she did not even know her father until she was 21 years old, yet she remains a blessing and an angel to me. I am from not from Edo state.

I read some posts above and people were saying, "the girl is likely to follow her mother's footsteps and break her own home". For your information, men cause 85% of broken homes, either directly or indirectly. The girl's mother might have been an angel which her father never appreciated due to, say, drunkenness, womanising, gambling and all what not. Does it mean that her mother, having divorced the father for such irresponsible behaviours after enduring it for many years, will not be able to bring her children up properly to be good, godly and fit for marriage? No!

Guys, read my earlier post on this issue, there are things you look out for in a lady you intend to marry, and her coming from a broken home or not is certainly not one of them.

Yoruba girls are dirty, so don't marry them.
Ibo girls will finish your money, so don't marry them.
Calabar and Edo girls are promiscous, so don't marry them.
Ebira and igala girls will use juju on you so don't marry them.
Hausa girls will train their children to be bokoharamists so don't marry them.
Port harcourt girls will kill you to inherit your property, so don't marry them.
etc etc etc!!

Absolute nonsense, all these statements. Whatever characteristics you see in any lady from one tribe, you will get thousands from another tribe with such habits as well.

For as many girls who come from broken homes that make bad wives, you will see just as many from stable homes who are bad too!

End of discussion!

ThiefOfHearts:

The North? Yeye, how did that happen?

Lol just the thought that a Yoruba family would allow their children esp daughter near people from the North is baffling to me.

Even the Yoruba Muslims sef arent that keen on it.

lol, never really thought about it in dat context!well I'm really not a conventional person & my parents raised us to take people as individuals and not to really bother about their race\tribe.

I met him, he's intelligent, supportive,compassionate & he respects me.We dated for like 3 years, his family was not as accepting of me as mine was of him!(To each his/her own) So I broke it off only to discover I was pregnant!I chose to keep her & I'm glad I did! So my daughter is a 'mallo or aboki" lol ,all good!Enjoy d rest of ur week!

@ Mrs Chima, Hi ya, how are you doing today. I have no problem with anyone not wanting to marry or date a single parent, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and it's really not that big a deal.

I do however feel its ignorant to judge people based on their tribe. Da Doctor said "I sure guess you are from ****** tribe."What does my being yoruba have to do with it?

Da Doctor's statements seemed judgmental to me and i directed my response to his last post.

As a mother i also feel strongly about people calling any child a bastard. Insult the parents all you like, but i feel it's unfair to call children derogatory names.

This isn't about changing peoples preferences, it about saying what i feel and reading what others feel.

Whether someone wants to marry or not marry/date a single parent makes no difference to my life. i respect their right to their opinions. To each his/her own. Nothing spoil.

@ shy1 thanks for your comments.
@ Da Doctor, even though you have chosen to disrespect me without cause, i have chosen to answer your questions as sincerely and respectfully as i can.

1) i am quite happy with my life, as with all of us there are things i wish would move faster or go better, but my daughter is never a source of unhappiness to me, she is my joy and my pride.

2)Choosing to have her and not abort was never a mistake, she may not have been planned but she will never be a mistake.

3)Having my daughter opened up my eyes to some extremely profitable business ventures.

4)If i could go back in time, i would do the same thing.

5)Yes the stigma still abounds, and everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I have been blessed to meet some amazing friends who take me as i am and respect me for who i am.

6& 7) My daughter has a wonderful relationship with her father. i would not love her less even if that was not the case.

I am not perfect, no one is. i strive to be the best mother i can be. Whatever questions she has when she grows up, i will answer honestly. She can then decide what works for her. She will know that she is not a mistake, that i love her always and will strive to do the best for her.

9) i live my life for no one, anyone who has a problem with me is free to move on. In laws or not, its not by force to marry ooo!

My daughter will live the life that works for her,makes her happy and harms no one. She will grow to accomplish great things.

i'm not preaching to anyone. i believe that everyone has a right to their own opinions and i respect your right to your opinion on singke moms, though i reject your attempts to belittle me or the choice i made.

I require no exoneration from anyone.

And yep! i'm YORUBA and proud. I however feel it's ignorant to judge people based on tribe. My daughter's father is from the north, my best friends are from the east.

and yep we get the message loud and clear, you have no intention of marrying a single parent, it's all good.

I'm a single mom, and i doubt very much if we require praise or your insults.

I made a choice, it was my choice to make, what anyone chooses to think about it is irrelevant to me.

My daughter is a blessing, i love her to bits and she isn't a bastard, i believe that only a small minded person would use such a derogatory term for an innocent child.

i am committed to giving her the very best, i can't speak for all single mothers, but my daughter will never be one of those nasty statistics.

She is loved, respected and treasured, she has a good relationship with her father, she is intelligent and loves books and she will grow up to do great things, irrespective of what people choose to say or believe about children raised by single parents.

Single mothers may not be heroes, but most aren't villains either.

Motherhood is hard work, single or married. Children from married homes can also become criminals etc.

To single mothers, its all good and can only get better. Don't let anyone make you feel worthless or 'second hand', irrespective of your circumstances. Stay positive and focused on giving your child the best that you can.

The guy who will love you and yours is out there, just keep on being the best you can be.

P.S My daughter, whilst not planned is definitely not and will never be a "mistake"

Firstly, i'm a proud single mother. I could have chosen to abort, but i chose to have my child, and i'm glad i did.( No disrespect to those who choose to abort, to each his/her own)

i can't speak for all single mothers, and i don't feel i have a right to judge anyone or generalize.

I am a beautiful, independent, intelligent, strong black single mother of a beautiful, smart, lovely blessed 4yr old princess. I have never been married and i am not desperate for anyone to marry me. marriage is not by force!

I believe that everyone has a right to marry or not marry whoever they want, however i take exception to the attempts of some posters to insult or belittle single mothers. It takes an extremely small mind to call an innocent child a bastard! what did they do to you? Who gives you the right to judge these innocents? Who died and made you God? Feel free to abuse the parents, cos we can insult you right back. (if we choose to waste our time!), I don't really care what the dictionary defines it as, it is derogatory! Every child is a blessing. My daughter is not baggage, she is my life and my blessing.

Before i had my daughter, i dated a single dad and it wasn't a big deal to me.

I realise that for some people being involved with a single parent isn't their cup of tea and that's their right. and yes everyone is also entitled to their own opinion, i respect and honour that, just adding my own ten cents.

I know that the man who will love, respect and treasure me and my angel is out there, and the water that i will drink will never pass me by.

It's all good and will only get better for all of us!

The comments on this topic are very interesting and we really don't have ALL the facts.

As a mother i guess she did what she felt would be good for her children, and yes the life of any child is worth saving always.

However as a mother myself i find it very very hard to believe that she was unaware that she was pregnant with more than one child. If she'd truly miscarried previously she would have had a scan @ 3months. If she and her husband could afford to travel to the UK, i presume they must have registered in a Nigerian hospital once she discovered she was pregnant, and even a general hospital would have insisted on the scans.

Secondly, why did she decide to overdose on the fertility pills, it put herself and her unborn babies @ risk.

If her husband resides in Nigeria, i'm curious about her need to stay in the UK, or will her husband be joining her there too.

I'm happy that the kids are okay and i realize that every mother wants the best for her children. It seems that her intention was to be fraudulent, no matter how noble her intentions were.

I feel the Nigerian government should pay, it is because of their greed and nonchalance that Nigeria has one of the highest maternal mortality rates in the world. After all they can afford it and it's time they started to take some responsibility for their citizens. And this is clearly a case that needs their intervention.

My question is this, if women all over the world start to overdose on fertility pills, then travel to the UK to deliver, will the UK health system be able to deliver quality healthcare to its citizens and people in life and death situations. If we justify her actions then we must realize the effects it has on the rest of us, such incidents have a ripple effect, most times negative.

I had a friend who died of cancer of the colon, who was refused a visa to the US for treatment(even though his family intended to foot the bill), probably because of the fraudulent activities of a few others.

To each his/her own, i wish her and her children the very best.

To each his own. Everyone has bad habits that they are dealing with, so what's with the chicks that smoke are irresponsible, smell bad etc.

All a load of bull. I know women who smoke who are smart, sexy, clean and successful, I also women who don't who are daft, smelly, uncouth and obnoxious.

Something will kill everyone one day sha.

i believe that people should do whatever works for them oo! if it's tithing all good, if its not tithing all good! no need to get all personal and all!

But people in support of tithing should remeber that even the bible says you should test all things with ur spirit!

I have no opinion on other people tithing, its ur money u can do whatever you choose with it. But i wonder why there are so many people starving and in Need and there are pastors with private jets, loads of care and massive houses! do tithes and collections pay for this?

Do you realise that if every christian in Nigeria payed just N10 a week, we could educate most of the children in Nigeria, who need to be educated.

I believe the bibles says that whereever two or three are gathered in His name, God is there, so whats with building million naira churches!!!

Personally i would rather use my money, any amount i choose, to help others. With as little as N10,000 you can give a family the opportunity to start a business which will make a difference to their circumstances.

The natural rule of life usually says when u give , u will receive, i'm not sure why that should be limited to tithing! So if i don't tithe my heavens will close? Crap!

I have noticed that when u start a conversation with people about religion, u will be suprised at how close minded they can be. No constructive statements or indepth knowledge of the religion they practice. Just alot of 'the devil is using u" or 'my pastor says"

i have to agree with Badriyyah, i'm not sure what two consenting adults choose to do in their bedrooms should be anyones business! There was a time when it was considered illegal for people of different races to Marry, there was also a time when blacks where considered inferior to whites and there white's had bible passages to back them up! They used to lynch us too.

I believe that everyone has a right to their own beliefs as long as it doesn't infringe on any other person right to exist.

People are becoming extremely aggressive on this issue! whats with all the personal attacts,everyone is entitled to their own opinion. As for our children, like it or not all we can do is make every effort to guide our children at the end of the day they will make they will become whatever they want!

i have a daughter, and as much i hope she doesn't become gay, if she did, i would have no choice but to deal with it, it wouldn't make her less my daughter. and i definately wouldn't anyone killing her. and as long as u don't intend to bring up your chidren in a cave, they will be exposed to homosexuality someday!

I'm no expert, so i don't know if homosexuality is natural or not, but i know what isn't natural. INTOLERANCE.

Children are taught to be intolerant of others, and as far as i'm concerned that is one of the major problems we have in the world! and it has caused the uneccesary deaths of so many, religious intolerance, racial intolerance the list goes on. Being homophobic is just another type of intolerance.

Wetin gay people do u? Next thing u'll be calling for concentration camps for Gay people! If some of u anti gay people where white, we blacks would still be slaves!

i don't understand gay people, it definately doesn't work for me, but they are human and they have rights too. So what if they want to marry! did they force you to marry them? I don't practice religion and from the remarks of alot of religious people on this topic, i'm glad i don't.