₦airaland Forum

Alomo: Katongo announce, we no dey shake.

Katongo: Alomo Kasapreko dis wahala big big oh!

Alomo: Katongo i say annouce no shaking, abi we dey shake?

Members of COSAN: At all.

Katongo: we know say the presidoship of our obodo colicship na by meritocraze.

Alomo: Is my leadership capability at question here?

Katongo: Alomo de black bottle, no be so i talk. I just discover say e get one bobo hmmm.

Alomo: Katongo i say annouce.

Katongo: Dis bobo only am use carry over write book. Im cucuma enter dem Guinness book, wey dey call beer book of records.

Alomo: Salute to the bottle. (All joins the recitation)

Salute to the bottle
the small black bottle
you alone are great
you alone rekindle
the spirit of our colicship
oh! Salute to the black bottle
the gin never dries up and our black blood flows forever.

(it's a cool morning in front of Kama-Kama department in federal univesity of chua-Chua some where in Nigeria. Pampers and Alomo are seen discussing)

Pampers: me, my name na Pampers...yes Pampers i mean. I be student of Kama-Kama department for dis obodo inivercity of Chua-Chua. Today no be my mata dey worry me oh! But make una helep me see kpalaba. how person go dey, no be say im no sabi book, im book sabi well. But pass no, im go rada fail for sake of say dem get one asso-ciate wey dem call carry over students asso-cite of Nigeria, wea dem mumu dem dey meet.

Alomo: hey just hold it there. For fact that i came so low to invite you to our annual meetings does not in anyway give you the in and sult to administer on me.

Pampers: o boy, my guy, e no dey taya you? Haba 13 years for 4 years course. You no wan graduate, work, get money and pikin dem ba?

Alomo: here is my card any way, when you are ready to dine with men pull a call through. (walks out)

pampers: oche-oche! Your papa, mama, dey wait for house, make you finish skool make way for your small broda and sista dem. Na so u wan take pay dem?
(song raise gradually, then raises to a crescendo)

carry over ti dey oh! X3
na plenty, na so many oh!
No be small, na so many oh!

(In one of the classes in the faculty of Tunyu-Tunyu, members of carry over student association are having their meeting. Floor members are seated on the desk in the class while the president is slightly elevated in front. Strolling freely and swiftly wagging his bulala is the chief whip. The president clears his throat as he proceeds thus

Alomo: greatest carry over students.

Members of COSAN: Over.

Alomo: meticulous carry over students.

Members of COSAN: Over.

Alomo: i want to kaba....

Members of COSAN: Kaba
Alomo: i want to kelesme....

Members of COSAN: kelesme.

Alomo: i want to meleske....

Members of COSAN: Meleske.

Alomo: i want to carry over it....

Members of COSAN: over it.

Alomo: i want to welcome you to this year's annual celebration of carry over students association of Nigeria. COSAN. I am previleged to stand here and address, you as the president of this great association. Having been in this school for 13years and shuttled from being an academic student to a non-academic student, with a minimum of 36 carry overs. I want to reiterate here that, we pledge allegiance to nobody but Alomo Kasapreko the small black bottle. To which i am gladly a custodian. Suggesstions made in the last meeting, we have used to make this one better, and finally there is enough Alomo in the house, enjoy yourself. (A display of wierd excitement shows on the faces of the members. The chief whip moves forward swinging his bulala dangerously).

Chief whip: as una know, i am the official chief whip of this meeting. Una know how we dey do am abi? Before you talk i go gree you, or bulala go enter your body, again you go use fundamental point of something befor congress mende-mende. Anybody wey do any how go see any how, wetin happen?

Members of COSAN: Gbe-ge!

Chief whip: at this round-about please permission me to invite the HOD of money affairs to give us the financial report. (HOD of money affairs stands up gallantly, moves forward drunkly).

HOD of money affairs: greatest den de dende....

Members of COSAN: Den de dende.

HOD of money affairs: Una know as e dey be now, money dey come, money dey go. ( moves back to his seat and sits down)

Member of COSAN: Fundamental point of rejection.

Chief whip: reject.

Member of COSAN: I demand that the HOD of money affairs should tender an apology to the general house for trying to insult our intelligence and secondly he shoud comport himself and give us a decent report. What's that?

Chief whip: Noted. Ehn HOD, as e be so ehn u go do small apology for house.

HOD of money affair: Shey na apology una want abi

Members of COSAN: Ehn.

HOD of money affairs: you (pointing at the member who asked him to apologise) na you want make i apologise ba. See person wey im carry overs no reach minimum to join club that time, wey i helep do chua-chua. Na im dey get mouth insult me now. Idiot na im you be.

Alomo: i strongly suggest we move to other matters, as you can see the HOD has taken too much Alomo as it is. (HOD of money of affairs mutters some words to himself)

Chief whip: For the name of that beta person spirit wey dem call way-forward, make we discuss another thing. Oya who dey talk....

Katongo: (stands up) fundamental point of rejuvenation.

Chief whip: Rejuvenate.

Katongo: i say fundamental point of eradication.

Chief whip: Eradicate.

Katongo: Gross, highly rated, panasonic point of confusion and understatement.

Chief whip: come here. (Flogs him twice) you wan use us dey play abi. Na so you just want use grammar demage dey bladder for my ears. Oya begin talk wetin dey your mind.

Katongo: Alomo Kasapreko wahala dey.

Members of COSAN: Hum...

You have showed some spark and bits of brilliance but your creative imagination is a little shallow that accounts for the inability of the reader to literarily enter the world of the play. Keep churning out pieces and you keep getting better.

Characters

alomo kasapreko
(presido of COSAN)

pampers (A friend of Alomo)

chief whip
(General overseer of congress)

HOD of money affairs
(Financial secretary)

katongo
(A very important member of COSAN)

Members of COSAN (General members of COSAN)

here is a free flowing laugh stop not play i'll like to drop, let 5 people just say halla and i'll proceed.

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