During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
'Okon, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'
Okon said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."

The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite." 'What about you, Emeka, how would you say i
t?'
Emeka said, "I am sorry , but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.."

Teacher said that's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom
at the dinner table.

"And you, Akpors, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"

.

.

.

.

Akpors: "I would say, Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, to whom I hope to introduce you to after
dinner.'"

The teacher fainted...

JUNIOR VISIT HIS UNCLE

JUNIOR:Gud morning uncle
UNCLE:Morning Junior, how are u? And wat av u com 2 lagos 2 do?
JUNIOR:Uncle av com 2 see u concerning my Admission 2 University, am sure u dat u wit ur support my dream of becoming a medical doctor would be achieved
UNCLE: O.k no problem. How far abt ur o-level result bcuz dat is d 1st tin.
JUNIOR: Uncle infact, my o level has been 1daful i was able 2 mak 2 credit. I made credit in Agric science & anoda credit in yoruba.
UNCLE: Humm. Junior, o.k. U can still becom a doctor only dat u would end up being a TRADITIONAL DOCTOR. Use ur credit in Agric 2 search 4 herbs and ur credit in Yoruba 2 make incantations.

After English Exam

Akpors' dad: How was the paper?

Akpors: It was easy but question 5 confused me.

Akpors' dad: What was the question?

Akpors: Question 5 wanted the past tense of "THINK".
I thought and thought and thought but I ended up writing "Thunk"

Every day Akpors walks home from school n pass a 4th grade girl's house. 1 day he is carrying a football he stops 2 taunt da litle girl. He holds up da football n says,"Hey Ekaitte! See this football? Football is a boy's game n girls can't have 1!"
Little Mary runs into da house crying n tells her mother about the encounter. Her mother immediately runs out and buys the girl a football.

The next day,
Akpors is riding home on his bike and Little Ekaitte shows him the football and yells, "Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!"
Akpors gets mad and points to his bike."See this bike? This is a boy's bike and girls can't have 'em!" The next day, Akpors comes by and little Mary is riding a new boy's bike. Now he is really mad. So he immediately drops his pants, points at his most private of private parts and says, "You see THIS? Only BOYS have these and not even YOUR mother can't go out and buy you one!"

The next day as Akpors passes the
house he asks little Ekaitte,
"Well, what do you have to say NOW?"
She pulls up her dress and replies, "My mother told me that as long as I have one of these,I can have as many of THOSE as I want!"

Akpors fainted

Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope.
The judge says,
'You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time.

I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use.
I'll see you back in court Monday.'

On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, 'How did you do over the weekend?'

1st Guy: 'Well,
your honor,
I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever.'

'Seventeen people? That's wonderful. How did you do it?'
1st Guy: 'I used a diagram, your honor.
I drew two circles like this: O o.
Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs.'

'That's admirable,' says the judge.
Then he turns to the second guy Bantem..
'And how did you do?'

Bantem: 'Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever.'

'Wow!' says the judge. '156 people! How did you manage to do to that big number?'

Bantem: 'Well, I used a similar diagram and but university method,'
'I drew two circles like this: o O.
Then I pointed to the little circle and said, 'This is your as*hole before prison.................'

Nice jokes man

@op...wonderful jokes there. u've made my nite