An angry wife (Ekaitte) 2 her husband (Akpors) on phone.



Ekaitte: Where the hell are you? ...



Akpors: Honey, u remember dat gold shop where u saw the diamond necklace & totally fell in luv wit it?



Ekaitte (relaxed): Yes, my king



Akpors: Remember I had no cash 2 buy it 4 u dat day & I said I will buy it 4 u one day?



Ekaitte (totally relaxed with a smile & a blush): Yes I remember my love!



Akpors: Good, I am in a beer palour next to that shop!

==================================



AKPORS IN A BIBLE STUDY CLASS



Teacher: What is the surname of Lazarus that Jesus rose from the death?



Akpors: COMFORT



Teacher: Why did you say?



Akpors: Read your bible carefully sir, when Jesus called Lazarus he included his surname



Teacher: How?



Akpors: He called with a loud voice saying "LAZARUS COMFORT"

==================================



Principal: Why were u absent yesterday?



Akpors: I attended a burial



Principal: Hmmmm ! Akpors the professional lateness specialist, nothing will stop me from punishing u. Now answer me......Who died?



Akpors: You see, the first son of the cousins of my grand mother's youngest nephew who is also the youngest step-brother to the woman who gave birth to my uncle's youngest step-son and he was also........... ...!



Principal: Alright.....Alright. ..Oo!...Thats enough...Oo!.. Just go to the class!

==================================



Akpors goes into a chemist, reaches into his pocket and takes out a small bottle and a teaspoon.



He pours some liquid onto the teaspoon and offers it to the chemist's assistant.



"Could you taste this please?" says Akpors



Chemist Assistant takes the teaspoon, put it in his mouth swills the liquid and swallow it..



"Does it taste sweet?" says Akpors



"No, not at all" says Chemist Assistant.



"Good" says Akpors....."the doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar"



The Chemist Assistant fainted!

==================================



A conversation between Akpors and his wife Ekaette



Akpors: Honey, I have a problem at work.



Ekaette: Point of correction, never say "I" but "WE". We are one now, your problem is my problem.



Akpors: Ok honey, our secretary is pregnant for us.

==================================



Akpors enters Supermarket to buy himself orange juice and sugar.



He paid for the orange juice and walked out with the sugar under his arm, unpaid.



At the door he was arrested and locked up.



During the court hearing, the judge asked him why he paid for the juice only and stole the sugar?



He replied,



"I do not steal. At the back of the juice bottle is said:

SUGAR FREE! You think I am silly or what?"

Me, ayam tired of this Akpors jokes I see everywhere on nairaland oo

hehehehehehe oya crack ur own jokes naaa, make we put am evrywia on nairaland