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Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father - Family - Nairaland

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Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by petokey: 7:20am On Sep 22, 2012
It was a top secrete that was let loose four years after her husband(father) died. This people are really crazy, will you be surprise if such a thing happen in Nigeria? PAPA MARRY PIKIN. Aru, olowun ma je, Allah kiaye.




It was a dark secret. The kind that destroys lives, devastates families and decimates faith.

Nobody shared it with Valerie Spruill while her husband was alive. For years after his death, she heard bits of the story. It was something about an absentee father, something about her husband.

None of it made sense, she said. That's not until her uncle finally told her what no one else had: She had unknowingly married the father she never knew.

"It is devastating. It can destroy you," Spruill told CNN late Thursday by telephone. "It almost did."

Spruill, 60, of Doylestown, Ohio, went public with her story this month, first published in the Akron Beacon Journal, with the hopes that it would help others facing what seem like insurmountable problems.

It's a story that has gone viral, attracting attention as faraway as Australia and India where the questions are always the same, she says: How could that happen?

WCPO: How a woman unwittingly married her father

It's a question that Spruill said she has been grappling with since she first learned the truth in 2004, six years after her husband Percy Spruill died.

"I don't know if he ever knew or not. That conversation didn't come up," she said. "I think if he did know, there is no way he could have told me."

She confirmed that her husband was indeed her father through a DNA test, hair taken from one of his brushes.

The aftermath of the secret was devastating emotionally -- and physically, Spruill suffered two strokes and was diagnosed with diabetes.

All of it, she believes was brought on by learning the family secret.

"Pain and stress will kill, and I had to release my stress," Spruill said. "I'm just telling the story to release my pain."

She has a deep, abiding faith in God, who she believes has guided her through the experience -- and others that have shaped her life.

"You have to have faith," she said. "If God brought me this far, he's not going to leave me now."

Spruill met and married her husband-father in Akron and settled in Doylestown, a working class suburb of about 2,300.

It was her second marriage. Spruill was a nice man, a good provider. He was kind to her three children from her previous marriage.

"We had a good life," she said.

She initially struggled with anger, with hating Spruill for what happened.

But therapy taught her what happened wasn't her fault. Her faith taught her to forgive.

Initial response to her story has been mixed: "More positive than negative," she says.

In recent days, she has been in contact with a couple who found out after they were married that they were brother and sister.

They told her, she said, that her story is helping them deal with their own experience.

"They are trying to be friends now," Spruill said.

Others, though, have been less kind.

"They've said things like 'Some secrets should stay secrets,'" she said. "I can't do anything about what they think. I just know what I think. God is always mighty, and he teaches you to tell the truth no matter what."

Spruill knows not everybody tells the truth. It's a lesson she learned as a child the hard way.

By all accounts, Spruill's mother got pregnant as a teenager while dating her then 15-year-old father.

She was 3-months-old when she was sent to live with her grandmother and grandfather, who she initially believed as she grew up was her father.

Spruill said at about age 8 or 9, she discovered that the woman who often visited the house was not a family friend but her mother.

But nobody, she said, talked about her father.

There's nobody left to give her the answers about her husband-father. Her mother, Christine, died in 1984. Her grandparents have long since passed. So, too, have a number of Percy Spruill's relatives.

Spruill knows her mother worked as a prostitute and even got caught up in the 1980 high-profile corruption scandal surrounding James Barbuto, a probate judge who was convicted of intimidating investigators and gross intimate imposition for attacking a courthouse clerk in his chambers.

"My mother showed me lots of love. All said and done, I have no regrets in my life at all," she said.

She believes she has siblings or half-siblings from Spruill's previous relationships, including the one with her mother.

She said she wants to find them and let them know they are not alone.

Spruill, herself, has three children and eight grandchildren. She struggled with telling her children that the man they believed was their step-father was their grandfather.

A therapist "advised me to tell my kids," she said. "I told them about two years ago. They are remarkable. They are handling it better than I am."

In recent days, shortly before the news broke, she also told her grandchildren.

"They have been so supportive. They are telling me they love me, telling me they will do whatever I need," she said.

In her spare time, since retiring from the accounting department where she worked for 34 years at Goodyear, she has been writing down her story with the hopes of publishing it.

"I thank God that he gave me a chance to live through all of this," she said. "It is nothing short of a miracle that I'm still here. I want people to know that they can survive something like this."
http://www.cnn.com/2012/09/21/us/ohio-woman-marries-father/index.html?hpt=hp_t3

2 Likes

Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by Ndkings1(m): 12:02pm On Sep 22, 2012
Shuld i b d first to coment to dis silly story?

1 Like

Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by donem(m): 12:04pm On Sep 22, 2012
Hmmm!
Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by freecocoa(f): 12:08pm On Sep 22, 2012
Err mm what led to them conducting a DNA test in the first place?

Abi them just wake up one morning come decide say the man na her father? The tori no gree me understand sef, oyibo people too get wahala joor undecided

5 Likes

Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by Ariyke: 12:09pm On Sep 22, 2012
Wonders shall never end

1 Like

Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by anitank(f): 12:11pm On Sep 22, 2012
Am trying to imagine myself sleeping with my dad(with diffrent sex positions), giving him a french kiss and calling him all sorts of sweet pet names embarassed ......the thought alone is very disturbing undecided undecided

3 Likes

Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by Titiluvly(f): 12:11pm On Sep 22, 2012
Speechless!...wonders jst de begin..
Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by Ejine(m): 12:17pm On Sep 22, 2012
Epic!!! grin
Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by chidyke77(m): 12:18pm On Sep 22, 2012
Shes not the first or to be the last, such things do occur in our society but since we dont take DNA seriously it will still be living with us. I believe that marriage btween siblings exist bt unknowingly to the parties involved.

2 Likes

Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by Nobody: 12:18pm On Sep 22, 2012
@ Op! Next time, try to make the story short and straight to the point, too much repetition of statements. Now to the news, I call it the bizzare webbed fate of all times.

2 Likes

Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by greatgod2012(f): 12:20pm On Sep 22, 2012
one of d signs of end-time
Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by kayswag100(m): 12:23pm On Sep 22, 2012
petokey: It was a top secrete that was let loose four years after her husband(father) died. This people are really crazy, will you be surprise if such a thing happen in Nigeria? PAPA MARRY PIKIN. Aru, olowun ma je, Allah kiaye.

not suprised @ all! What suprises me is d 'top secrete' and story u let 'loose' on NL...
Get d drift?
Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by osifred(m): 12:25pm On Sep 22, 2012
The story is so far from complete. How did they meet? What led her to conducting the DNA test.

Anyway this is another reason why girls shouldn't marry men 12 to 21yrs older than then cos he might be your real daddy

4 Likes

Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by Opoki(m): 12:26pm On Sep 22, 2012
Whats all ds?
Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by teemac01: 12:29pm On Sep 22, 2012
Another Bullshyt that made the front page....SMH
Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by bashwaziri: 12:30pm On Sep 22, 2012
shocked Mumu oyinbo ppl. Dem no dey do introduction to family b4 marriage?

6 Likes

Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by mrmofasa(m): 12:34pm On Sep 22, 2012
This story na helele. Choi!

I am wondering how long it'll take for the woman to forgive herself. The funny thing is that it is not her fault. But then how could she not have known?

Did the man's gentleness and niceness blind her?
Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by emekaD3(m): 12:36pm On Sep 22, 2012
WOW... This one is more than co incedence
Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by alkadriyar(m): 12:41pm On Sep 22, 2012
Hollywood in colabor.
Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by mike404(m): 12:42pm On Sep 22, 2012
grin grin grin grin when the man don tear the kpekus finish na im she know say na her papa cheesycheesycheesycheesycheesycheesy

2 Likes

Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by ramaju(m): 12:43pm On Sep 22, 2012
Nd kings: Shuld i b d first to coment to dis silly story?
It is not silly. It is heart breaking and devastating.
Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by breathing(f): 12:45pm On Sep 22, 2012
None of it made sense, she said. That's not until her uncle finally told her what no one else had: She had unknowingly married the father she never knew.


It's a question that Spruill said she has been grappling with since she first learned the truth in 2004, six years after her husband Percy Spruill died.


She confirmed that her husband was indeed her father through a DNA test, hair taken from one of his brushes.

For those asking what led to the DNA test
Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by Dotman01(m): 12:46pm On Sep 22, 2012
emmysenior: @ Op! Next time, try to make the story short and straight to the point, too much repetition of statements. Now to the news, I call it the bizzare webbed fate of all times.

1 Like

Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by MrLee(m): 12:49pm On Sep 22, 2012
Na waa o!
Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by Dotman01(m): 12:49pm On Sep 22, 2012
breathing:

For those asking what led to the DNA test
another question is. . .why didnt the uncle say anything before they married or before the man died.
Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by mallorca(m): 12:53pm On Sep 22, 2012
anitank: Am trying to imagine myself sleeping with my dad(with diffrent sex positions), giving him a french kiss and calling him all sorts of sweet pet names embarassed ......the thought alone is very disturbing undecided undecided
grin grin grin grin grin grin no imagen anytin because its not ut portion
Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by Gpattern(m): 12:55pm On Sep 22, 2012
It had happen, so we can't change it. But for ladies try cut down marrying to guy the age of your father and then for teenagers resist sex.... Because this epic movie is still happening every where... By the way for those who it have happened to don't beat yourself, just try and learn to be friends.

2 Likes

Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by passionate88: 12:56pm On Sep 22, 2012
freecocoa: Err mm what led to them conducting a DNA test in the first place?

Abi them just wake up one morning come decide say the man na her husband? The tori no gree me understand sef, oyibo people too get wahala joor undecided
she conducted the dna test 2 knw if what her uncle told her uncle told her was d truth.
Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by garripack: 12:57pm On Sep 22, 2012
FINE STORY BUT IT DOES NOT AFFECT MY COST OF LIVING SO TO ME NA BULSHIT + FOWLSHIT x PIGPISS %GOATSHIT SEUN IF U RE TIRED OF NAIRALAND U CAN HAND IT OVER OR SELL IT OFF DIS UR ONE GANG FRONT PAGE ARE REALLY DISGUSTING angry angry angry angry
Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by Jyde89: 12:57pm On Sep 22, 2012
Why do i find it difficult to believe this story, to begin with; the story said she had lost most of her relative's, so who told her who her father was, and how come those people did'nt show up earlier before the marriage, cos am sure they must have been dating before they got married. Their's more to this story than meet's the eye.
Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by paulinenajan: 12:58pm On Sep 22, 2012
nawa o! Dis story e get as e bi. Pls d story dint mek sense 2 me.

1 Like

Re: Woman Unknowingly Married Her Father by cynthio: 1:03pm On Sep 22, 2012
bashwaziri: shocked Mumu oyinbo ppl. Dem no dey do introduction to family b4 marriage?
I was wondering o.

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