Are there standards to be maintained to have a godly relationship today? The society we live in encourages pre-marital sex and fornication.
Are there boundaries Christians should establish when dating to avoid the pitfalls most singles fall into when dating?

Discuss

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Very good topic Odiaseo! A welcome break from the litany of mohammedan nonsense we have had to contend with for ages.

Back to the topic. . . i believe it has to do with what a relationship means to you as a christian. Growing up relationships were just about finding a girl to hang out with, just about any pretty face so we could boast that we also had a "babe" and belonged in the circle of the "big boys".
Today the emphasis has changed . . . as we grow in Christ we no longer seek a "babe" but we seek a real woman, one in whom the fear of God is paramount . . . a friend, a confidante, a sister, a shoulder to lean on, a help meet.

The bible is totally against pre-marital sex and i believe a Godly relationship must respect that despite the pressures from our sex-crazed world. A lot of people say it is alright to kiss your fiancee . . . to an extent i must confess i dont think its that bad except of course it can lead to other "you know".
Share spiritual insights, enjoy lots of time out with like-minded friends, discuss the future, spend time doing fun activities together . . . that way you limit exposure to tempting situations.

AND marry early! No point looking at hot yam forever when you could just put it on ur plate and eat it.

For a Godly relationship, couples should know their limits and exercise self control neither should they think they are above temptations ooohh. Try as much as possible to build up a friendship first, seeing the other for who they are and not for the luscious contours of the body only. Though I could playfully caress a guy's biceps and say "hey look at your muscles, I like it" .

@Davidylan: I know my experience is real about romance. Probbly, you are a 'new Virgin,' because you are now practicing celibacy. But let me tell you, when two opposite sex persons, in desire of each other are left alone, the pressure mounts manifolds. Is that what you are intending to contend with now at your age, when your blood is always hot, almost to the boiling point? Then the like of Tyra Banks in her hay days, mixture of Neomi Campbell, hybrid is left in the room with you, in one whole weekend; I will like you to remember that all bets are off, at that time. No one can predict how verociously the yam will be quickly 'chopped,' by the free 'billygoat!'

You think the people of Muhammad are not good enough, as we are warned against being alone with the opposite sex. Even you are initially attracted to each other, after a long while, you will begin to see what is good in the other person and believe me, you will not even think about 'Jesus your god/lord,' before you eat everything up greedily! Take it from me, you are ready for action and if you find yourself in a compromising position, this people of Muhammad did warn you before hand. And you might just be in 'Christian luck,' that she came advertising the family Jewels, the usual and normal thing among the Christians, anyhow. Whats you gonna do when her hulk Hoggan runs wild with you and your Andre the giant will not lie down quitely? What then David. It is during your Wrestlemania session you will remember that Muhammad is right!

To quote the ever changing Osisi, in the same nature as her ever changing Bible: Wrap your abunna up. Don't put it to the 'stress test,' because it will not respond to you, because your Big brain will not be able to control the Little brain's eagerness to dig in. Take my people of Muhammad's advise! It is for 'reproach!' lol.

AND marry early! No point looking at hot yam forever when you could just put it on your plate and eat it.

Davidylan, take your own advise and marry now. Otherwise the yam you did not not have on your plate, will become the lunch of other person or person, depending on who is loose or who is not. Even the agbalagba could be eating your yam front back and center, if you do not get the lid on the aromatic flavor. It will permiate the whole neighborhood and everybody will want to eat it.

[/quote]For a Godly relationship, couples should know their limits and exercise self control neither should they think they are above temptations ooohh. Try as much as possible to build up a friendship first, seeing the other for who they are and not for the luscious contours of the body only. Though I could playfully caress a guy's biceps and say "hey look at your muscles, I like it" .[quote]

Stillwater et al, where is the holy spirit you Christians are filled with just before the temptation begins that you have to fight it? The holy spirit flies off the coop or it is there with you will you are saying should I do it or I should not? My dearest sister, as I advised, marry early, as soon as it is safe for you to do so. Do not date, if you do not want to be haggling with temptations all the time.

And Oh, by the way, none of you have said anything about relation. I wonder why it is part of the topic if you aint gonna talk about it. You can have true romantic relationship unless in marriage. Anything you single guys may say about relationship is just conjecture.

And to david; Thanks, you can participate in the new thread that i will begin later today; Jesus and Saul/Paul who is more important to the Christian?

Stillwater et al, where is the holy spirit you Christians are filled with just before the temptation begins that you have to fight it? The holy spirit flies off the coop or it is there with you will you are saying should I do it or I should not? My dearest sister, as I advised, marry early, as soon as it is safe for you to do so. Do not date, if you do not want to be haggling with temptations all the time.

Marry early ke? Abeg not now . Anyway I've never found myself in a situation where I'll be contemplating should I or should I not do. I already know what the bible say concerning such.

@Olabowale
The topic of this threads is quite clear and explicit, if you believe there isn't any godly standard to abide by when dating, perhaps you should start a thread in opposition. There isn't any need to rant about what other's have contributed, if you don't agree, you have the liberty to post somewhere else.

Lets keep the thread focused and make relevant contributions that would be of benefit to those concerned.

This is one topic i always enjoy cos i know the kind of pressures i faced before i got married. Put 'Born-Again' aside; EVERYBODY gets tempted. And it gets more difficult to control them urges when You have someone you love close by. How do you spend time with the one you love (which was all i wanted to do) and not face temptation? It wasn't easy. The best decision i made was not to rent my own place before my wedding. I finally got my own apartment 4 weeks before my wedding and only slept there the last 3 days of my bachelorhood. It sounds funny, but it kept us safe from all the 'wahala' and the regrets.
For everyone in a relationship that has determined to keep to biblical standards, there is always a way out with Gods grace.

I absolutely agree with what Lafile wrote and am glad he used himself as an example so that people in this kind of situation will know that it is possible to stay pure while dating. Most Christians pretend to stay pure where as deep within they cannot fight the urge of sexual sin, I think it is about time we spoke out and get the required help that we need, we shouldn’t be suffering in silence, a lot of us want to please God in our relationship but most of the time we allow our emotions to take charge of us but I want us to know there is a way out, with the help of God we can stand pure.

Getting married on time is good and I would love to add there is no point in getting into any relationship that is not focused on marriage cos u will only increase the length of temptation. I have just read a book called “Boy meet girl” by Joshua Harris (same guy that wrote I kissed dating goodbye) and I will like to recommend it to anyone out there that is passionate about keeping his/her relationship pure, I was highly blessed by this book and it has given me more confident to stay pure

Just as @seluvsmayo rightly said it is possible to keep godly relationship and be chaster until marriage. And as @lafile said there is nobody (flesh & blood) that is beyond temptations. The holy art thous facade we carry in church drive Christians to hide their struggles and concerns about maintaining sexual purity while dating. We face greater temptations as Christians because the devil is after us. He doesn't mind what the unbelievers do.

I agree that one shouldn't go into any relationship with marriage in sight, that would be creating a capacity for temptation. Having godly friends can help overcome peer pressures and societal influences too.

For a guy I would say you discover you purpose in life, have a vision and settle down as soon as possible. While single find a way of converting your sex drive / energy to something useful like sports, exercising, learning an instrument, involvements in church activities etc.

As @seluvsmayo pointed out, there are resources books/online materials etc that can edify and challenge us to maintaining sexual purity. Wisdom is the principal thing, in all you getting get understanding

thank God for this thread because,I am in a relationship,and blve me,it takes a lot of discipline to avoid premarital sex,especially when it involves somebody you love.the best way to avoid such temptations is TO NEVER MEET WITH YOUR SPOUSE INDOORs.blve me it has been working for me.we always meet outdoors and I also thank God that we are not based in the same city.