Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,154,763 members, 7,824,190 topics. Date: Saturday, 11 May 2024 at 04:02 AM

If I Can Catch You, I Can Have You. - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / If I Can Catch You, I Can Have You. (3400 Views)

When You Finally Catch The MTN Staff Sending You Bulk Messages (photos) / That Moment When She Tells You "I Am Pregnant", But You Don't Want The Baby / 15 People Who Are Dumber Than You (I Mean Even You) (2) (3) (4)

(1) (Reply) (Go Down)

If I Can Catch You, I Can Have You. by ThugLife1(m): 11:58pm On Jan 25, 2008
A fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his
doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an
advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program. Guaranteed like
heck, he thinks to himself. But lets see what they think they can do.
He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 10 LB weight
loss program.
The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he answers,
there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic 19 year old babe
dressed in nothing but a pair of Nikes and a sign hanging around her
neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss
company. The sign reads, If you can catch me, you can have me. Well,
without a second thought he takes off after her (like who wouldn't).
A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has
his way with her. After they are through he kisses the girl one last
time and thinks to himself with a nod, I like the way this company
does business.
For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the same thing
happens each time. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and, sure
enough, he has lost 10 pounds. Deciding that he likes his somewhat
more slender physique, not to mention the method of treatment, he
calls the company back and subscribes to their 5 day, 20 LB weight
loss program. He thinks that losing 20 pounds in only 5 days seems
like a lot, but he is intrigued by what their workout schedule might
be like this time.
As expected, the next day there comes a knock at his door. When he
answers it there stands a 22 year old knockout dressed in nothing but
a pair of Reeboks and a sign hanging around her neck. She is simply
stunning, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She introduces
herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign
reads, If you can catch me, you can have me. He's out the door like a
shot. This gal is in excellent shape and it takes a while to catch
her. But when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. She is
wonderful, the best he has ever had. He is really looking forward to
the next four days, For the next four days, the same girl shows up
and the same thing happens each time, much to his delight. On the
sixth day, he weighs himself and, unbelievably, he has lost another 20
pounds. I love this company, he thinks to himself, I never knew
losing weight could be so easy and so much fun.
Feeling much better about himself, he decides to go for broke and
subscribe to the companies 7 day, 50 pound weight loss program. Are
you sure, sir? asks the representative on the phone. This is our most
rigorous program. Absolutely, says he, I love your program. haven't
felt this good in years! The next day there comes a knock at his
door and he enthusiastically answers it. There stands before him a 200
pound perfect specimen of a man dressed in nothing but racing spikes
and a sign around his neck. He introduces himself as a representative
of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, If I can catch you, I can have you.
Re: If I Can Catch You, I Can Have You. by topeteadr(m): 1:31am On Jan 26, 2008
remix!!!!!!. . . . .
Re: If I Can Catch You, I Can Have You. by ThugLife1(m): 1:43am On Jan 26, 2008
Which time you go compton?
Re: If I Can Catch You, I Can Have You. by temmie3005: 1:47am On Jan 26, 2008
To be sincere,are u the guy?
Re: If I Can Catch You, I Can Have You. by Oracle(m): 2:54am On Jan 26, 2008
Holy Jesus.
Now that guy is in trouble.
Re: If I Can Catch You, I Can Have You. by ThePope(m): 7:41am On Jan 26, 2008
you beth, the guy is sure going to lose 50pounds in one day.
Re: If I Can Catch You, I Can Have You. by Nobody: 8:36am On Jan 26, 2008
this time around the guy go run till im weight reach 1 pound!
Re: If I Can Catch You, I Can Have You. by topeteadr(m): 10:54am On Jan 26, 2008
Why do ya ask.
Re: If I Can Catch You, I Can Have You. by ituen(m): 12:04pm On Jan 26, 2008
seen the joke and even posted a remix of it
Re: If I Can Catch You, I Can Have You. by ThugLife1(m): 3:56pm On Jan 26, 2008
so how can i help you with that? cheesy
Re: If I Can Catch You, I Can Have You. by Nobody: 4:37pm On Jan 26, 2008
teehee tongue good one wink
Re: If I Can Catch You, I Can Have You. by ituen(m): 8:03pm On Jan 26, 2008
Wetin u get wey u wan help person?
Re: If I Can Catch You, I Can Have You. by ThugLife1(m): 8:07pm On Jan 26, 2008
Tell me what you need boi
Re: If I Can Catch You, I Can Have You. by ituen(m): 9:09am On Jan 27, 2008
notin u can offer, kid
Re: If I Can Catch You, I Can Have You. by clemcykul(f): 1:28pm On Jan 28, 2008
hmmm cheesy
Re: If I Can Catch You, I Can Have You. by saucekid(m): 1:44pm On Jan 28, 2008
hmmmmmmm, . . . . . . . . . .hmmmmmmmmmm
Re: If I Can Catch You, I Can Have You. by ThePope(m): 6:25pm On Jan 28, 2008
hhmmm. . . . hmmmm. . . .hmmmmm.

*dogs*

(1) (Reply)

A Kid Was Crying Outside His House. / 11 Very Sure Places To Meet A Rich Husband In Lagos / Girls Nyt Out

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 17
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.