Helo everybody, its a long story bt wish to cut it short, pls i need a gud advise on wat to do. I married 2yrs ago bt d marriage is crashing. My wife on provocation shout on me and keep malice. I am a muslim and divorce is d gr8test sin, though i have option of marrying anoda gyrl as a muslim bt i never wish to do so, my wife nag and lack respect towards me. The current one was 4days after salah, she want to bath my 1yr old son and left to get sometin b4 she came bak d baby pour hot water on himself, i ws anoyed and she started shouting after-all d water is nt much hot. My wife mother is so nice to me, always calling me begging to pls be patience wt her daughter. Whenever we quarel people tel me to be patience. Wat do i do pls.

kambah: she want to bath my 1yr old son and left to get sometin b4 she came bak d baby pour hot water on himself, i ws anoyed and she started shouting

while i do not condone your wife shouting at you, i have to say i would have acted likewise if i were in her shoes. she is human and not a machine for crying out loud and you should have helped in looking out for the boy while she was away doing something else like you rightly said.

iyatrustee:

while i do not condone your wife shouting at you, i have to say i would have acted likewise if i were in her shoes. she is human and not a machine for crying out loud and you should have helped in looking out for the boy while she was away doing something else like you rightly said.

what if ther was no other person in the house with her? And the water was hotter than it was?

iyatrustee:

while i do not condone your wife shouting at you, i have to say i would have acted likewise if i were in her shoes. she is human and not a machine for crying out loud and you should have helped in looking out for the boy while she was away doing something else like you rightly said.

what if ther was no other person in the house with her? And the water was hotter than it was?

Op,I do not think the issues in your marraige are beyond solving..
Your wife didn't suddenly start shouting at you,nagging disrespecting you and keeping malice...did she?
There are root problem which you haven't told us about..
...and i do not think she would have knowingly wished hot water poured on her own son..
It was a silly mistake...yes.but how did you address the situation?
I'm guessing you probably screamed at her continually and made her feel like the mistake was purposeful and she replied with the same anger with which you did.
One person in this relationship just needs to grow up and handle situations more maturely!

@OP
let your wife know that if she is not willing to ACT RIGHT, then you will get yourself another wife...and although it surely wont solve the problem, you will have someone with whom you will have PEACE!
some women cannot take criticism, and will always be in the defensive whether they are right OR WRONG. her actions were WRONG and instead of saying that she made a mistake, she is sorry etc (like most would)...... the fact that she said afterall the water wasnt hot, shows us all that she is a very careless individual. the fact that the water was cold OR boiling hot is NOT the point. its the fact that she put your child at great danger. there is nothing wrong with being TOO CAREFUL or being mad at someone who made an obvious MISTAKE!

taryour:

what if ther was no other person in the house with her? And the water was hotter than it was?

i am assuming that the OP was with her at home when it happened cos truth be told, some men expect you to do every chore in the house whilst looking after a small child

OP; you two MAY not be compatible. I use may because of the sensibility of it.

Talk with her when she appears to be in a happy frame of mind. you should be able to know the period she is. When she shout; dont shout back. its a lose- lose situation.

iyatrustee:
i am assuming that the OP was with her at home when it happened cos truth be told, some men expect you to do every chore in the house whilst looking after a small child

shouldnt a wife FIRST tell/ask her husband that she needs help, then wait for his reply, and then act accordingly? EVEN if the husband didnt want to help her (let's play devil's buddy here), that should NOT warrant the wife to put the child in harm's way, NEVER!!!!

iyatrustee:

i am assuming that the OP was with her at home when it happened cos truth be told, some men expect you to do every chore in the house whilst looking after a small child

as far as i am concerned,that man has no fault here,every father would reacted such or even worse. for a mother when dealin with kids,either they are yours or not YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER ASSUME,DO NOT TAKE ANY CHANCES!!! CHILDREN WILL ALWAYS ACT ON IMPULSE untill they are matured enough.For the fact that the woman even said the water wasnt very hot shows that she dosnt feel any sign of remorse wothsoever. Probably her husband wouldnt have shouted that much on her if she had responded as a good wife and mother should,and considerin the past issues they have been having could have prompted the man to have gotten very angry.

I like to see men who see something wrong in their marriage and would like to do something about it instead of turning the house into martial arts training center. Call your wife and ask her what exactly her problem is. Does she still want to be married? Tell her the way she is going would bring the marriage to ruin. Be practical! I honestly believe a woman who loves you wouldn't disrespect you.

Can you elaborate on your story, like what exactly she nags you about? Do you help her around the house? She may be overburdened by house work, work and a kid. Its a lot to handle when you don't have help. If she is someone you simply can't talk to, through no bad behavior of yours then maybe ask her mum to call her home to talk to her. But if you know where all the wahala is coming from, resolve the issue and then you may see changes. Strive to maintain a happy home, a husband determines that. Except she's got psychological issues no woman will just nag you.

How old is your wife ?

If its another "catch-them-young" marriage then I'm afraid but you have to eat/sleep "patience".from the story so far, I suspect your wife is still a "baby" herself and not ready for marriage yet. You're in already so you have to be patient with her and baby her to a full woman.

@op are u from kamba in kebbi state?

kambah: Helo everybody, its a long story bt wish to cut it short, pls i need a gud advise on wat to do. I married 2yrs ago bt d marriage is crashing. My wife on provocation shout on me and keep malice. I am a muslim and divorce is d gr8test sin, though i have option of marrying anoda gyrl as a muslim bt i never wish to do so, my wife nag and lack respect towards me. The current one was 4days after salah, she want to bath my 1yr old son and left to get sometin b4 she came bak d baby pour hot water on himself, i ws anoyed and she started shouting after-all d water is nt much hot. My wife mother is so nice to me, always calling me begging to pls be patience wt her daughter. Whenever we quarel people tel me to be patience. Wat do i do pls.

Divorce is the greatest sin? Dude, are you sure you are Muslim cause even in Saudi Arabia, the citadel of islam, divorce is high and welcome.

That apart, try to talk to your wife in a loving manner and see if you two can come to understand what it may be that is either bothering her(personal issues she may be having) or it may simply be a communication issue in the marriage. Also, why is your mother in-law begging you? Begging you to do/not do what?

Sounds like communication breaking down. Underlying built-up resentments are making waves of escape. Very normal in any relationship or marriage.

Poor communication gives room for more cracks in any relationship.

Your wife might be overwhelmed with her domestic roles. She may be getting burned out evidenced by all that shouting. She might need vacation.

Why don't you start helping her out with the baby to give her a break. Accidents do happen but can be avoided.

You both need to sit down and find out what is going on DEEP within both of ya.