Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? - Events (3) - Nairaland
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| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by queensmith: 6:18pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
im getting married on a beach in the bahamas to avoid all the above! nobody has times, and i don't like people enough to have them stare at my life for hours on end. . . . 2 Likes |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by deepwaters(f): 6:25pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
I'm not yet married, but from the weddings I've attended, I've decided that: 1. I MUST have a small wedding, less than 100 guests even if it means traveling out of town. (I live in a University environment, and if a lecturer's child is getting married, everyone on campus assumes they have a right to attend it. The crowd is always overwhelming) I want to have an enjoyable, interactive, cosy wedding, 2. No aso-ebi (Still don't get the gist of that idea) 3. Wedding gown must be comfortable, esp for dancing, and none of that tube with bolero jacket that has many brides continually pulling it up to cover their breasts. Going for a decent gown with sleeves. 4. Wedding must start early, reception must start on time (I've been at weddings where the guests finished eating and drinking before the couple came in and opening prayer for the reception commenced!) ; and by 2 pm, everyone should excuse us for honeymoon to commence. 5. Either rent outfits for the bridal train, or make sure we get sensible, realistic dresses that can be used after the wedding. 6. ... Make sure I have fun on my wedding!!!... (Sorry for the long post!) 2 Likes |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by Buchianom(m): 6:26pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Wow! Lots of dos and donts,I dnt even knw if I shld marry again or remain single...lol. Well,God wil help us wen d tym comes.nice thread anyway! |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by DeepSoul(f): 7:34pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
1) I would have made sure I saw the wedding reception venue before I paid for it 2) I wouldnt have fought with my parents so much about the number of guests (the heavy rain/mini storm was enough crowd control)  3) I wouldn't have spent so much money on the traditional wedding attire that i'll probably never wear for the next 20yrs 4) I would have given the DJ an idea of songs I wanted. Guy didnt impress at all 5) I WOULD HAVE TAKEN A PIC WIT ALL MY FRIENDS Things I'm glad I did: 1) Braided my hair for white wedding (cant stand cliche brazillian wedding hair) 2) Did not stress about making souvenirs. Why shd I give u gifts for attending my wedding? 3) Reception lasted less than 2hrs. No long thing 4) Ate well well before I entered reception 5) Did not wear high heels 5 Likes |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by Rocktation(f): 7:40pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
~ ~ correct.  |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by baby4u2(f): 7:40pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
I really like this thread and since i just recently got married I would like to share mine too. I REGRETTED SPENDING SO MUCH money, if i could turn back the hands of time, I would have done a court wedding and saved all the money I spent, cause at the end I think i was really planning this wedding for the people that i was inviting. 1. SPENT TO MUCH MONEY ON DECOR DECOR was absolutely amazing, was just checking out the pictures. But the woman charged me 5000dollars plus. The additional price came because i asked her for Chiavari chairs. She had told me she was expecting new gold Chiavari chairs and since my eye was too big I told her to put it all in. On the day of the wedding, i entered the reception hall and lo and behold, i saw DESTROYED chairs. God saved her i didn’t see her that day. Just because of all the work she had done (She's actually good and kind) I completed the payment and didn’t hammer on it cause I actually enjoyed my wedding. 2. INDECISION Indecision with my wedding dress. Had this absolutely amazing dress i was going to buy after i tried it in two stores. But i didn’t want to spend a whole 1700dolls on a wedding dress. I was going cheap at all cost. So although i started shopping for a wedding dress early i became undecided. Tell me how i ended up on this Chinese copycat websites trying to buy wedding dress. I decided that although, it may not be the real thing at least they will come close and i will cough up only about 400dolls. Omo, when the thing arrived, i couldn’t fit, the material was cheap. My trusted friend who received it called and told me over the phone as i was at work. I couldn’t work the whole day. If not for God's love and my friends support. All this is two weeks before the wedding oh. I had to rush to a store, saw another dress that hugged my hourglass body. (Thank Jesus) But you know what, I ended up spending more than the first original dress that i wanted to buy cost. After the wedding, your girl is looking to sell this dress to recoup money back, lo and behold; I found out that the dress is really wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy cheaper than what i paid for it. Because of rush i couldn’t research well. Every time i look at both dresses, I have mixed emotions. 3. NOT STICKING TO A BUDGET I forgot that i had a budget. Come and see waste of the century, on video graphy, on photography, on food. I wont even complain about all of them too much cause i got good value for my money. But i know they came overpriced. Going back to the budget now, i spent way more than i wanted. It was like money from here and there all went to all these expenses. I could have been saving for my future. 4. DOING THE UNNECESSARY I had an engagement photo shoot. I could have had only one dress change, but trust your girl. I wanted more. The photographer too has sweet mouth; I just like him, but EPIC WASTE OF MONEY. I bought all four dress changes, did hair, makeup and bought shoes. My hubby is so wise, i went to his closet and arranged his dress changes. We didn’t buy anything for him oh. I don’t know why i didn’t reason the same way for myself. At the end, i keep on pondering on why i even changed more than once. All for a website. All i wanted but didn't need. 5. DOING ASO EBI DO it for only a select few, don’t do it for the masses, jumat and services PLEASE. People still dey owe me as a result of sale. By the time people started bringing leg to me to buy gifts for the people that bought Aso Ebi, na in my eyes clear well well. I decided there and then that foolishness had to stop. My eye started clearing days before my wedding, but was already too late. I had committed and even signed contracts. My wedding was a success. I had full support of the church, friends and family. My wedding planner was great, she is Nigerian by the way and was the one that even gave me a budget but i went behind her back and didn’t tell her many things i decided to do myself. I didn’t list half of the money i spent cause of shame. One advice i can give anyone for now, i know some will not listen as i have a friend over doing now. Think about your future, we all want to have a wedding we would live to remember, but do you think people that have a more budgeted wedding don’t have weddings to remember. If you can’t afford it, you can’t, don’t overdo. After the wedding what next  My aunt told me at the very last hour on how i could have invested in this and that. It pained me so much, because yes, that money I wasted is crying out to me to have used it to buy a house, a car, invested in my children's future. I have prayed to God to forgive me and asked my husband too. I just thank God i married a good man, who just shakes his head whenever I say "we could have just had a court wedding." Why? Cause that was the first thing he suggested. Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy finaly reached a stopping point. Check out my wedding site at on my signature or so. Wedding sites are for those who can afford not longer throats oh. Just kidding. Stay cool guys. 4 Likes |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by Amya(f): 7:57pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Not married yet. But I'd like to have a very simple wedding. 50 or less guests no frills. . . No asoebi. I went for a friend's wedding. At the reception, just as the bride and groom are ushered in, I (ever the shrewd one) realized there was something off and not right somewhere. It took me awhile to notice what was amiss. Alas! There was no music playing! The bride and groom, the train and asoebi men and women were just shuffling in awkwardly. It was really weird! I think they forget to get a DJ or something. There was no music throughout the reception. It didn't end there. Trying to impress people(maybe) they decided item 7 would be all buffet style with just one meal! Rice! And dot like meats. The whole guest joined a queue (just 1 queue) and it took me over an hour to get to that point where I was in front of a stern looking woman who was doing the dishing (so much for buffet) the ration + the method the food was dished, I felt I was in a homeless shelter begging for food. Terrible makeup, wife looking like water would break any second (yeah she was heavily pregnant) this is by far the worst wedding I've seen in my life! 3 Likes |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by DeepSoul(f): 8:08pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
To all the single people talking abt 50 guests, that'll NEVER work if u fall under the ff category: 1) You live in 9ja 2) Your parents are both alive 3) Your parents-in-law are both alive Sorry o. Nothing for u 2 Likes |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by cyara(f): 8:09pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
i am not married but i learnt a lot from my uncle's wedding. Never ever make the mistake of hiring one photographer or videoman. My uncle did this and after series of endless posing for photograhs to be taken, he discovered few days after the wedding that the photograher's camera was bad so he has no picture or video of his wedding day |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by Amya(f): 8:18pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Deep Soul: To all the single people talking abt 50 guests, that'll NEVER work if u fall under the ff category: Who says I can't do a morning mass wedding. That'll mean no guest. . .no party. . . 1 Like |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by baby124: 8:28pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
| *learning*. Me, I want a small wedding. I don't want all sorts of people using my wedding to feed themselves. I want something small and quality. This dude with me keeps laughing. He doesn't know I am like a general in the army when it comes to things like this. Am not interested and don't care if he is popular. Wedding strictly by IV. Aso ebi for my friends, cap for his friends and aso ebi for the parents. That's it o. Otherwise we will just have a destination wedding, his family and mine and just a private dinner.  . I dont see why people like carnivals. |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by Nobody: 9:20pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
| let me remember. Oh yes, regrettd eva usng heavy cosmetic on my face and i lukd much more lyk a colourful bird than my real self beauty, regrettd fixng a bridal hair bt next time jus a simple hairstyle wil do, evn a simple weddng dress. But 2 cap it all! I'm til single. Lol! Those r d thngs that i observd and wil neva fall 4 dat. Til observng via wedng invitatns. More are on d way 4 my presence. 1 Like |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by Yemak74: 10:25pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Amya: Not married yet. But I'd like to have a very simple wedding. 50 or less guests no frills. . . No asoebi.i beg ooo...u na wan break my rib here oooo....  take am gently i beg |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by Akpunwa(f): 10:48pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
I regret paying the caterer and decor vendor in full. -I still do not understand how the meat we personally arranged for (to avoid stories o) finished and late guests couldn't be served with meat. -The decor vendor just did what she felt like, paying elaborate attention only to the backdrop and our seat area. The guest area was bland. So while the guests facing us had a good sight, I was unhappy looking at the fugly hall. - we made so many last minute arrangements cos of work engagements (no professional planner) that left us running helter shelter a day before the wedding day proper. See stress written over me that night. - can u imagine I forgot to book a hair stylist?! My friend practically begged a stylist we approached (she was about closing) to at least get the hair fixed by 7pm since she said she couldn't make it to dress the hair next day. You can imagine what happened with the hair the next day....we just managed to do one razz up do with a big hair clip I had handy. I immediately let the hair down before the reception. - Never forget or skip discussing charges with a vendor under the pretext of family relationship. The videographer(my husband's kinsman) asked to be included in the photography as backup. This is after we had made arrangements and paid someone for it. Hubby agreed and gave him the go-ahead but with the agreement that he captures only milestones. This aproko backup guy ended up snapping away....u name it -empty altar, rev fathers, guests, church compound etc and brought this huge album! Who send am? He learnt his lesson cos we of course refused to pay the huge bill. 3 Likes |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by Rocktation(f): 10:54pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
A lot of people have been complaining about photographers...hmmn. Thank God, my photographer's head was 'correct'. |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by timbros(m): 10:54pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
jephiano: Yes o bro. |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by Winneygirl(f): 11:02pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
(1) Please, try out diff. make-up weeks b4 d wedding so as 2 settle 4 wat wud suit U.Dnt assume dat d make-up person will get it ryt @ d last minute. Keep in mind "Less is More".U will b in d spotlight all day. No time 2 readjust make-up. (2)Seek a professional caterer weeks b4.Asking pple who hav had experienc will point U in d ryt direction. Have a rapport wt d caterer so U cn get personal & hightlight wat U want & dnt want. (3) "Anko" is not 4 evrybody.We did anko 4 d last 3 weddings in my family & it ws 4 only family members.Hence,no gift obligatn.Planned ahead,evry1 paid 4 d cloth b4 it ws bought so no debt involved. (4) Know Ur photographer. Dnt pick 1 @ d last minute. (5) Have a good DJ.Pick some songs U want him 2play specially. (6) Wedding gown: Dnt go 4 d flashy extravagant. KNOW UR SIZE!!! (7) Lastly, on d wedding day, U cant handle anythn dat needs tidying. Let sum1 else be in charge. Hav fun. Smile even if thngs go south. Don't attempt 2fix any damage. It cannot be helped @ dis point. In nutshell, things like these shld be settled @ least a wk b4 wedding. 2 Likes |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by chrisemy01: 11:21pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Very senseless statement cuteonyii: And you dont know what charity means..? abi? 1 Like |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by ohisola(f): 12:14am On Nov 07, 2012 |
Amya: Not married yet. But I'd like to have a very simple wedding. 50 or less guests no frills. . . No asoebi.Hahahahahahhahahahahahahaha. U kept me laughing til tears started 2 com out fr ♍γ̲̣̣̥ eyes. Wat d heck buffet wat!!!!!! Wit just 1 meal? |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by Nobody: 2:42am On Nov 07, 2012 |
Not married yet but frm exposure,i think buffet service dosnt work for a wedding with open IV,dont try it no mata how rich you are.....My cosz's own was a flop..2ndly,parents should make arrangment for their guests,cos the bulk of the guests will come from them..lastly,alwayz budget for times 3 of the estimated IV,you can't write okeke and family then u expect jst 1 person to come,it doesnt work in naija,we move in group.:-D |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by BluStreak(m): 2:46am On Nov 07, 2012 |
Jeeeze! I thought I was the only one in this "I wish I did it differently thingy". If I have my way, I will go back and change everything. My wife & I talk about this often. I wouldn't have spent the colossal amount I spent on my wedding. I would have insisted on it taking place here in Lagos instead so more of my friends will come & make it a memorable day for me. The photographer even though gσσ∂ missed the very vital shots. I would have hired a better DJ if I knew the one bundled with the event center would be a mess. During our inspection tour of the facility we saw state of the art DJ console but on D-day music was being played off a vcd player cos d DJ console was bad. So there was regular interruptions on the music. I wouldn't have wasted money on 2 cartons of Moet Rose for my special guests who ended up abroad on summer holidays instead. It was painful. Even at that the drinks couldn't be accounted for. I would have gone with my wife to inspect the wedding gown she chose cos it ended up making her lƠ̴͡Ơ̴͡k fat & preggy. Wouldn't have spent so much to order for 200 pcs of custom invitation cards. It really isn't worth it. Infact I would have done everything all over. Insisted on a small - strictly on invitation - 50 to a 100 guests wedding. I for no send anybody. Its our (My wife & I) life. In fact, I did everything wrong. I guess I was too excited plus wifey wanted a fairy-tale wedding. But at last she realized it wasn't worth it after all. Now my store if full of cheap crappy chinawares, glasswares, crappy aluminium pots, kitchen wares and even plastics we can't use. So annoying. 4 Likes |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by MOBBDEEP: 3:20am On Nov 07, 2012 |
chrisemy01: Very senseless statement This is how we start courting enmity. If he/she takes a swipe back at you, you'll cry foul when, in real sense, you started it. You were the one that showed poor grasp of knowledge/understanding (which of course is excusable). What he/she meant was that most people, when giving gifts, do not give something priceless, valuable or worthwhile. Rather, they look for something cheap, something dispensable or similar items of no use to them. Hence, you tend to have clutters of 'acclaimed' over-rated China 'bloated' plates/cutleries/kitchenette utensil sets constituting more than 80 - 90 % of the whole gifts. |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by chrisemy01: 5:27am On Nov 07, 2012 |
Mornin mass wedding ke. So no reception thereafter. Amya: |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by shushu(f): 7:29am On Nov 07, 2012 |
deepsoul. you can definitely have a wedding with less than 50guests.i did |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by OperaMini1(m): 8:41am On Nov 07, 2012 |
I wouldn't have spent a kobo on invitation cards, not with this bulk SMS thing. |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by maxproxl: 11:48am On Nov 07, 2012 |
Am feelin this thread and av learnt quite a lot. My wedn is in 5weeks time so its a good platform to share my ideas. Its so sad that couples can't be in control in Nigeria as parents always have different ideas and want to have their way. The only thing u can control is groom and bride apparel. For me, I want a low key wedn of 200guests. 100each from both families. See both parents sayin it will be up to 500guests. I don't want to print IV just to reduce guests, see my own parents objectn to it. I told them bulk sms, bbm and verbally is better, they said no. I want my own digital photographer(a close friend), my parent said they will use the family photographer. The guy is so old school but to them he's classic and more experienced. The bride's parent church is very small and shabby. With old wooden chairs, broken walls and little space. Can only accommodate about 75people. I told both parents its better we use the reception hall for the service, they said no that plastic chairs will be rented and canopies can be errected outside the church. My plan is to paint the church and buy 75plastic chairs and give the pastor as my own special gift. Av gotn a Dj, both parents said live band is better. I said aso ebi isn't compulsory, they said no. Infact there are about 3ypes of aso ebi. So in Nigeria, there is little couples can do to be in charge of the wedn. Even when u hire a wedn planner, parents still av their own plans. I must confess, l don tire for all this wahala. Arguements and disagreement just for an event of few hours. Its so sad sha. Na wa for naija parents. Basic things for any wedn are: 1.Couple Apparel(as u can afford) 2. Good venue(easily accessible) 3. Quality food not quantity alone(use family members u can trust that are committed) 4. Control number of guests(circulate only few IVs) 5. Don't impress people to depress yourself. You will regret it after the wedn 6. Stick to your budget(never ever borrow to fund a wedn) 7. Aso ebi is not compulsory. If u av to do it, both parents, couple siblings and close relatives are okay so there won't be any issue of gift or debt 8. Reception isn't compulsory if u can't afford it(u can package take away food for people after the church service or nikkah) 9. Good music and sound balance 10. Uninterrupted power supply(use a generator and have a back up incase it fails) In a nutshell, wedn is for a day and marriage is for a life time. We should focus more on the marriage. Am just happy that my wife to be is on the same page with me. I luv her so much. May all nairalanders heart desires for their wedn be fulfilled and may we all experience all the blessings of matrimony in jesus name. 6 Likes |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by Rocktation(f): 1:36pm On Nov 07, 2012 |
Congrats in advance. I hope you come back here and give us the gist in the event section oo.  |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by jeddyMay(f): 2:19pm On Nov 07, 2012 |
Not yet married but planning for next year. Married Nairalanders, kip it flowing cos it is needed  |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by agb2011(f): 2:53pm On Nov 07, 2012 |
maxpro-xl: They wil obey if u (lie 2 them)tel them dt a prophet or imam (dependin on ur religion) saw a vision &warnd u nt 2 av an elaborate weddin or else there wil b no child after d weddin. One of my cousins did dt wen she found out dt her parents want an elaborate weddin 4 her. (Her father is d Baba Ijo of their church). Wen she lied dt a prophet she had never met b4 walked up 2 her and said she must av a simpl wedding or never get pregnant in her life time, they were d ones who wrote d list of d 30guests 2 b invitd 4rm our side. On d wedding day, there was no 'mo gbo mo ya'. Evrybody ate 2 their satisfaction; d souveneirs went round; no fight no noise. D wedding was PERFECT!!! It was after d wedding she confessed dt she lied. 2 Likes |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by agb2011(f): 2:54pm On Nov 07, 2012 |
maxpro-xl: |
| Re: Wedding Mistakes ~ What Would You Have Done Differently? by jeddyMay(f): 3:00pm On Nov 07, 2012 |
agb2011: |
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