How does divorce affect children before and after it happens? Well, marriages that end in divorce can leave behind traumatized and depressed children , who are left enduring the unhappiness of a failed marriage, between two'most loved'people. Here is a look into the effects of divorce on children , which can help parents understand and deal with the aftermath better.

Effects of Divorce on Children

1. Stress and Behavioral Problems at Home : Children are usually sensitive and are therefore more susceptible to emotional damage, than the adults are. Since the parents are likely be stressed out by the divorce and no longer showing the child the same affection and tolerance that they had once displayed, children express these difficulties in many ways. With the disruptions to the family routine, combined with a sense of powerlessness.

2. Demonstrating anger, directed both toward others and themselves
Failure to acknowledge responsibility.
A sense of guilt.
Frequent breaking of rules.
Drug and alcohol abuse.
Destructive behavior and problems with defiance
Isolation or withdrawal from friends and family.
Thoughts of suicide or violence.
Increased or early sexual activity

3. A younger child may take to bedwetting and suffer from sleep disruption. They may miss the non custodian parent constantly and be unable to understand the permanency of the situation. Thus you may constantly have a 6 year old asking you'when is mom/dad coming back?'. The adolescents may display violent behavior, coupled with sharp bouts of depression. Sometimes an older child may have to take responsibility for a younger sibling and this can result in feelings of resentment for their siblings.

4. Problems Faced at School : Divorce can result in not only distancing the child from the parents, but also from friends and peers at school. Most of the time, the school grades suffer due to the inability of the child in concentrating on his studies at home . Parents are usually too busy to help with the homework. Studies have shown that children from a broken home , are more likely to drop out before graduating high school and are also less likely to attend college. In addition they may have problems dealing with peers and may take to breaking the rules at school.

5. It has been observed that young adults whose parents get separated while they were young, suffered from low self confidence and face relationship issues themselves. However things are not doomed for the children whose parents have divorced. If you understand as to how does divorce affects children , you can handle the situation just right and help the children cope with the situation. Reassuring the children of your love and explaining the situation, goes a long way in helping the child understand, that divorce is due to difficulties between parents, and children have nothing to contribute to that and that it's not their fault. It is important to understand that the child will miss the parents, so avoid saying negative things about one another, as it may hurt the child. In addition, there are divorce counseling services designed specifically for children , that you may like to consider. Remember that it is critical for the well-being of the children , that both the parents to continue to play important roles in their lives and therefore the parents should work together as much as possible, to limit the amount of damage that divorce can have on them.

I like the last part. Most times its how the parents handle each other in events leading to divorce that causes these factors you mentioned, parents who display anger and violence in the presence of the kids leading to children taking sides, getting involved and even fantasysing on helping one parent fight back.
Its sad when couples get kids involved saying bad things about the other spouse to the kids, that's immature.
Parents should be parents, mature responsible adults, let the kids know you love them and that hasn't changed, say no bad words about the other parent.
Even parents who stay together and keep fighting have kids who display these same behaviors. Parents who stay together with no love and are angry with each other create angry and violent children also children with low self esteem because parents are busy fighting and hating using them as weapons without loving them

debrief08: I like the last part. Most times its how the parents handle each other in events leading to divorce that causes these factors you mentioned, parents who display anger and violence in the presence of the kids leading to children taking sides, getting involved and even fantasysing on helping one parent fight back.
Its sad when couples get kids involved saying bad things about the other spouse to the kids, that's immature.
Parents should be parents, mature responsible adults, let the kids know you love them and that hasn't changed, say no bad words about the other parent.
Even parents who stay together and keep fighting have kids who display these same behaviors. Parents who stay together with no love and are angry with each other create angry and violent children also children with low self esteem because parents are busy fighting and hating using them as weapons without loving them

That's true. Good contribution.

If a preganancy was a 'trap' then the children are affected. That means the couple never cared about themselves.
If the children were conceived out of love. . .the children are affected less negatively.

IF THE CHILDREN WERE BORN IN A POLYGAMOUS RANCH. . . .GAME OVA! There was never a marriage! THEY ARE ALWAYS AFFECTED. . .only with the right 'therapeutic' frameworks can they develop the necessary coping mechanisms.

Parents should be wary of their actions,it goes a long in the children's life. Divorce can permanently affect the psyche of the child,many children that commit some undispeakable acts are all product of broken home.

Yomieluv: Parents should be wary of their actions,it goes a long in the children's life. Divorce can permanently affect the psyche of the child,many children that commit some undispeakable acts are all product of broken home.

So so correct. I came across someone who's had 2failed marriages, and was thinking of another marriage. Everyone kept wondering Y d women left him.

I only asked 1 question. 'What happened 2him as a child?'

Twas then I got 2knw dat he came frm a broken home whr his parents had fought and fought and kept fighting each other even after seperation, and he as d child got entangled in d mess.

He's a grown man now, bt d scars are there & I dont think he believes dat dat is partly responsible 4 how he handles marriage.