dockymich: @ debrief08 tanks dear I kinda blocked him but he didn't hit me. He pushed me out of the way and walked out of the kitchen. I wanted to leave the house until tempers had cool down.
@ jidegirl12 we were at d kitchen wen it happened, he told me to leave his sight but I was still dere n den he pushed me and he left.

chaircover: You both had an argument and he wanted to leave the house/room but you blocked him and he pushed you. You later wanted to leave after the pushing but he locked the door? Did I get that right?

If I did, then this is the advise I have for you both. Marriage is a long long long journey and the foundation does matter. Build on a solid foundation and you end up with a solid structure. These are your foundation years so you need to both be very clear on how you want to build it. In short start as you need to go on.

Violence of any degree is a NO NO from either side no matter how little; so this needs to stop NOW!. This sounds silly but as you both don’t seem to have dealt with conflict resolution before you got married, so now need to both sit down ASAP and agree on how you will deal with conflict……trust me there will be tens of arguments in your married life so you both need to work this out sooner rather than later.

You both need to understand and agree that if walking away is the best thing to do when tempers are frayed, then the other person must not prevent him/her from doing just that. It’s far better not to try anything for the first time than trying to resolve the consequences when it happens.

So my advice to both of you is this. Understand that there will be arguments,
Learn to deal with arguments, without physical, verbal or emotional abuse.

However Make it quite clear in no uncertain terms in a language that he will understand, that you will not accept any form of abuse from him and you must comply with the same too. . . . . . So no blocking, no pushing, no nothing! from either of you!!!!!. If you both can’t resolve an issue there and then, then go and drink water, play gospel music loudly on the stereo and go and have a lie down. Basically walk away and sort out the issues later!!!!!

I sincerely hope that this is a one off and you have both leant valuable lessons from it.

chaircover: You both had an argument and he wanted to leave the house/room but you blocked him and he pushed you. You later wanted to leave after the pushing but he locked the door? Did I get that right?

If I did, then this is the advise I have for you both. Marriage is a long long long journey and the foundation does matter. Build on a solid foundation and you end up with a solid structure. These are your foundation years so you need to both be very clear on how you want to build it. In short start as you need to go on.

Violence of any degree is a NO NO from either side no matter how little; so this needs to stop NOW!. This sounds silly but as you both don’t seem to have dealt with conflict resolution before you got married, so now need to both sit down ASAP and agree on how you will deal with conflict……trust me there will be tens of arguments in your married life so you both need to work this out sooner rather than later.

You both need to understand and agree that if walking away is the best thing to do when tempers are frayed, then the other person must not prevent him/her from doing just that. It’s far better not to try anything for the first time than trying to resolve the consequences when it happens.

So my advice to both of you is this. Understand that there will be arguments,
Learn to deal with arguments, without physical, verbal or emotional abuse.

However Make it quite clear in no uncertain terms in a language that he will understand, that you will not accept any form of abuse from him and you must comply with the same too. . . . . . So no blocking, no pushing, no nothing! from either of you!!!!!. If you both can’t resolve an issue there and then, then go and drink water, play gospel music loudly on the stereo and go and have a lie down. Basically walk away and sort out the issues later!!!!!

I sincerely hope that this is a one off and you have both leant valuable lessons from it.

dockymich: Hi everyone I have been reading topics on nairaland but this is ths first time I would ever post anytin. Am still in shock and I have cried my eyes out. Yestrday I had and arguement with my hubby and he pushed me, I fell but sustained no injury. I still can believe it cos my marriage is barely 3months old n dis is our first major quarrel. The sad part is dat am in a new state far away from my family and friends. When it happened I Wanted to leave the house to prevent any tin from happening to me, but my hubby locked the doors and prevented me from leaving the house. I cried out my hart and latr called my hubby elder sister and told her what happen. She was really upset and told her brother a piece of her mind, she also calmed me down n advise me to avoid further arguements. I have read so many stories of spousal abuse and am wondering if I wld end up been a victim of it too. It so crazy, am confuse and am wondering the next line of action to take

BlueDiva: Interesting.
From a push to a slap, to a kick.

You were both wrong. Never block an angry man.
Even if your husband lost his cool, did he apologize for being physical later?

Anyway, stop whining, it's just 3 months.

coogar:

you mean 3 months is too short to whine?
how many years experience have you copped in the institution of marriage, bluediva?

BlueDiva:

3 months is too early to begin to post sad tales on NL. Haba.
The honeymoon never suppose finish sef.


Been rocking the boat for about 168 months now.

coogar:

goddamit! 14 fabulous years!!!
you deserve a medal - a car - 3 chateaux in any village of your choice

BlueDiva:
LOL. . .i married very early.

coogar:

i trust you.....you don't waste time, do you?
bluediva and the male gender go hand in hand and this has always been the case since your primary school! i met a guy who knew you in dublin!

coogar:

you brought this upon yourself - when a man is trying to walk away from a conflict, let him or use his formular by locking all the doors so he doesn't leave.....matter of fact, lock all the doors first before bringing up the argument.......but don't block his path...you cannot initiate the first physical contact only to cry later!

Sisi_Kill: Ronke went straight to our Grandmomma's type sayings for this kind of situation. - "Two ge four"

That cracked me when I saw it!!!

ileobatojo:

My dear, if you blocked his path as he was trying to walk away from a heated argument, then you initiated the physical contact and you invited the push. You can't take a physically aggressive stance and expect it not to delve into the pits after that. Please don't ever do that again.

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debrief08: Sorry for what happened dear. Calm down, let me ask a few questions first.
Did you block him? Did you hold him? Did he hit you?
You don't have to answer but before I give advice I would like to know what happened before the pushing