e-church

CHURCH SERVICE (IN THE NEAR FUTURE!)
PASTOR: Praise the Lord.
CONGREGATION: Hallelujah!
PASTOR: Can we please turn our Tablet PC,
iPad, Cellphone, Kindle Bibles to 1 Cor.
13:13....! And please switch on your Bluetooth to
download the sermon.... !
PASTOR: Let us pray committing this week
into God's hands. Open your WhatsApp,
BBM,
Twitter and Facebook and chat with your God. Come on... PASTOR: Please have your credit and debit
cards ready as
we shall now take tithes and offerings. You
can log on to the church Wi-Fi using the
password Lord909887.
[Ushers circulate mobile card swipe machines
among the worshipers].
Those who prefer to make electronic funds
transfers are directed to computers and
laptops at the rear of the church and those
who prefer to use iPads allowed to flip them
open. Those who prefer telephone banking
are allowed to take out their cellphones to
transfer their contributions to the church
bank account! The holy atmosphere is truly
electric as cellphones, iPads, PCs and laptops
beep and flicker! [Announcement]
SECRETARY: This week's cell meetings shall
be
held on the various Facebook group pages
where the usual group chatting takes
place. Please don't miss out. Thursday's bible teachings will be held live
on
Skype at 1900hrs GMT. Please don't miss
out.
You can follow Pastor on Twitter this
weekend for counselling and prayers. God bless you, and have a wonderful week!