Hello Nairalanders, I was chatting with my girlfriend one Day, so we got to a point were she said her daughter can start dating at the age of 10 which I totally disagree with. What's ur take on this. At what age would u allow ur daughter to start dating and why?

At the age of 25

lawrenzoo: Hello Nairalanders, I was chatting with my girlfriend one Day, so we got to a point were she said her daughter can start dating at the age of 10 which I totally disagree with. What's ur take on this. At what age would u allow ur daughter to start dating and why?

I was having this discussion with a group of people today. My hubby didn't date, or have a serious gf till his 20's. I was faster and started dating at 16, and got serious way too soon. The rule in our house is to start going on dates (group dates) at 16, and you can go out with the person on two dates then move on. Of course this is assuming grades are at our expectation. For us, the purpose of dating is socialization, and meeting different people to know what qualities and traits you find admirable. Until they are ready to think about settling down, we ask that they not pair up in serious relationships and refrain from intimacy (I know a lot of people believe this is impossible for youth nowadays, but there are many young people who make that commitment).For our teen we stress great memories, no regrets. Life will get serious real quick...no need to rush it.

Its not about giving them the "go ahead" to date, you can't stop a child from dating. Infact they'd get boyfriends long before you the parent would know about it (i did it too)

The subject of discussion should be "at what age should you begin to coach your daughter on dating"
Mine wud be age 13

Grade 8/9? I actually want to see her taste I mean looks and all ....lol

Omolola1: Its not about giving them the "go ahead" to date, you can't stop a child from dating. Infact they'd get boyfriends long before you the parent would know about it (i did it too)

The subject of discussion should be "at what age should you begin to coach your daughter on dating"
Mine wud be age 13

Hopefully, the "coaching" would start well before 13, especially since at 13 some may already be active. We started teaching our kids the expectations at 8 years which is when we taught our children about chastity, procreation, etc. We've had open discussions periodically as needed since then. Of course you can't "make" your child do anything, but you set expectations and let natural consequences apply if they break the rules. There is naturally an element of trust that they hopefully won't go behind your back, but if they do and I find out...natural consequences. BTW, there is innumerable research to show that youth who get serious before 16 have a higher chance of sexual promiscuity. Also what kind of dating is anyone going to do before 16...they have no car and no money.

What grade is 13yrs pls @ sewa? Isn't that too early? And I agree there's always consequences to bad or disappointed behaviours .

I always have the sex talk very early and boyfriend talks early and there has to be a solid trust between both the parents and the daughter , which I do.

SewaG.R.I.T.S:

Also what kind of dating is anyone going to do before 16...they have no car and no money.

Lol, It depends in where you're at; kids here don't need money or car to date anybody, they are not wayward and money mongrels that want to do big girls by force provided they are raised in a loving home, they already have everything at their disposal.

Active 13yr old doesn't have to date either, they can have ' just friends', I told mine they are not allowed until grade 8/9, period.

[quote author=jidegirl12]What grade is 13yrs pls @ sewa? Isn't that too early?

Here 13 yrs usually falls un 8th grade...some may be in 9th. Too me that is too early. Everyone has to sort out what's best for their own family, but whatever it us the key is to make the expectations clear and unmistakable before they get put in a situation decide. My family's standard usa based on our belief in what is developmentally appropriate, where our children's focus should be, and my observations as a psychologist working with teens who get emotionally caught up too soon. Teens need to keep it light and keep it fun. Based on all of the mess we see on this forum alone, who would want their kids to get involved so soon.