That word 'Soul' was used almost interchangeably­ with the word 'spirit' in the ancient days. That's why you hear people say "May the Soul of the departed rest in peace" (which actually, it's the spirit they mean). It's only a reference to the spirit of man that goes into eternity. The soul therefore is the unseen part of you. It's not in your hips, long hair, nails, cars, biceps, bank account, phonetics...etc­. That's why Sex before the 'Wedding ring' is poor judgment and will always be a faulty parameter for measuring true love or compatibility. Your Soul is the centre of your being, not sex! For example, if Microsoft wants to hire competent hands, they won't hire you because you've used their products before! Rather, you'll be asked on software matters, computer programming jargons etc. Why? The programming and software development is the 'soul' of Microsoft Inc. So also, Physical touch is not only an excess, it is never a measure of your workability with him or her- because it's your body, not your Soul (the Centre of your Being); and recall what happens when the 'centre' doesn't hold, though bodies might be under same roof. So, never measure how the union will work by how much your body is pulled and pushed to each other. A delusion is imminent with that. Avoiding this common error will make most people sane for a great discovery in their private lives.
Where then is your Soul? Have you ever done something that was tough, demanding, painful and risky...like giving out a chunk of your money to the poor, yet you were inwardly happy after doing it, though your bank account is now almost empty? Yes! Catch this! The difference between the painful act and the happy face is where the unseen part of a human comes in. It is that part of you that won't lie to you. If your act was great, it will clap for you. If your act was bad but friends clap for you, you will know the truth in your soul. That's where your Dreams, Purpose in life, sincere beliefs and convictions dwell. It is where the true You is! Now therefore, one's Soul mate aligns primarily as a complement to what you carry inwardly- God-birthed Destiny, Passions and Purpose. He or She might not be exactly like you, but he or she complements you well. That's why God didn't make Eve from Adam's Toe, hair, Nose or anything external, but from his Rib. Now, a rib protects the Heart (or else, anything against your chest touches your heart). And what's the Heart? It's You- your God-installed convictions, dreams, purposes are in it. Eve therefore is a product to complement the Heart (Soul) of Adam; hence- SoulMate! Therefore, as a lesson, your Spouse-to-be and yourself must be well connected inwardly, having Soul-filled convictions that complement each other. If Eve was made from Adam's external, we will call her his Bodymate. Unfortunately however, many people are heading towards Body Mates and not Soul Mates because all their parameters are external- house, car, looks, fame etc. Though not outrightly bad, but for your union sake, go for Soul convictions and connections above external convictions. The latter is never a true foundation to build on and it changes like weather!

(1) How do you now know the Mate of your Soul?.
I must be frank with you that nothing brings inability to think straight in any premarital relationship like sex or even sensual touch. The moment you're in it, your thinking faculty gets tilted, corrupted and insincere to your Soul. You lose sensitivity to your Heart sensors. It therefore allows our 'blindness' to get louder than the Voice of our sincere Soul. That's why many know they're wrong to have entered that marriage, but it seems their Being was too weak to walk out before reaching the altar. That's the dangerous effect of Sensual acts. So, avoiding it keeps you alert to the wisdom of your Soul and God's whispers. I hope to write on 'Sin' soon, to make us understand that Sin never hurts God, but ourselves. It is His unfathomable and crazy love for us that makes it seem He was the one injured. Just like a Mother can be angry and weep if her kid gets sick. It's love and not that it's the mum who's sick! Due to God's investment in you, you can get Him so touched when you miss His Road-map for great marriage.
An intimate affair before the Marriage is harmful to your needed Unbiased Sense of Judgment. By avoiding such, by God's grace you will judge without sentiments if a person is a mate to your soul or not, and afterwards you can take your decision of 'Yes, I Do' or 'No, I Don't'.

(2) Also, I always advise intending couples to once in a while avoid the 'razzmatazz, razzle-dazzle and mental hypes of Relationship. These words mean "Noisy and showy display". Why this admonition? Many times, the drives round town, Cinema moments, Zoo trips, expensive gifts, adventures, ceremonies etc can drown a person's ability to reason well if not checked wisely, especially if you're on the receiving side- being hosted by the other partner. Permit me to say this: that's why many ladies should be careful of being introduced too quickly to the friends of their new toaster. It has a subtle, but strong way of keeping most ladies mentally tied to that relationship when they've not fully assessed it in sincerity. It becomes worse if the friends of her new toaster are sweet-tongued and she feels in 'cloud nine' by their accolades showered on her. It's only most natural for her to like that scene. That way, she has unknowingly decided the outcome even before starting. It's therefore advisable for you to find calm ways to withdraw from these 'noises', so that you can look from different dimensions and judge without bias if this is leading to a 'Great marriage Life' or 'Greatly managed Life'. Knowing your Soulmate demands some sincere self appraisal, where your Being is quiet and wisdom is loud enough. Avoiding consistent 'razzmatazz' is one fruitful way to do that.
One other strategy that I like to tell people is that 'bring out the contents of your Soul before you marry'. What do I mean? If you know you are passionate about being a Pastor, Artiste, Soldier etc in future, please do yourself a favor by showing an obvious direction and action towards that passion to your spouse-to-be! Infact, sincerely, (if God permits) start that passion before marriage. Let whoever will marry you meet you in your Soul activity, so that there's no need to begin to guess if he or she can blend later on in life. 'You that walk into an Ice Cream Shop will not ask them there if they sell Cement'. To avoid unnecessary life style and direction being put or demanded from you in future by your spouse, let him or her meet you in your Soul activity. That way, it's so much easier to see how well he or she can be your Soul mate before marriage knocks, since that enterprise you're into now is a good mirror of your Soul and your future with him or her.
The Wife of Martin Luther King (Jr) met him when he was already a Voice and Activist for equality in America. Therefore, later on when the persecution and other threats were on her husband's life, she didn't persuade him to cease, but rather stood by him. She met him years back in his 'Soul Activit'y, so she settled the future in her mind already!
Birds of same feather flock together. To get birds of like feathers, please bring out your feathers too. Hiding your feathers can make strange birds come to you. That is, not displaying or working in your Soul contents can make you resemble who you're not, thereby bringing just anyone your path. Bring out your future from now so that those going your type of route and able to complement you (Soul Mates) easily identify you and are easily identified by you. Neglecting this can make those who are not of your Soul to end up being your Mate! Applying this principle however makes it easier to rightly see your Soul-type of spouse. With you having done this, you can then seal all by sitting down with him or her and frankly speak your future according to what you presently do. Thus, you make it easier to truly identify a Soul-mate and determine your future together from now.

(4) Lastly, I must be candid with the helpful impact Prayer and fasting gives. One weapon that makes your bias flesh to be silent and the sincere spirit louder is fasting. It helps Sympathy for him or her to be subdued by true knowledge. It gives power to despise pressures from friends and families. It energizes you for a right decision without you having to feel apologetic. Also, your smart questions have a limit. Your knowledge from friends have too, but when you fast and pray, a wisdom that No Author or friend can tell you begins to well up in you.
There are intending couples who got saved from disastrous future in marriage by revelations of God while they silenced themselves in the place of fasting. If you'll be accurate in getting a Soul Mate, please don't leave out the Author of Marriage. Pray in the spirit! It increases your spiritual alertness. Fast! It silences your flesh for a more vocal and wise soul. Then you will wisely sieve out unsuitable toasters, making no pressure to influence your decision. An inner strength and wisdom from the Holy Spirit will just envelope you. We are too limited to know everything. That's why we join forces with God for a truly happy life. If your Marriage will be worth celebrating, please don't despise celebrating its preparations

Very insightful. To add to all that, you should also SPY on her. You can use this APPLICATION to know what she's not telling you.

Though long, its a lovely piece!

GooD.
No.4 mak sense well.

cool write-up but this ''no-sexx-till marriage thing" is contrary to the mentality of most guys nowadays, though i wouldnt blame us (cos of this woman's fertility brouhaha). Its now a normal trend to get the lady pregnant 1st before tying the knot properly...i love the write-up.

What a write-up! @op, thanks alot, this came at the right time for me. With God's help and putting this piece into practice i pray God help me meet my soulmate

God will cont. to bless u wit more wisdom. Tnx for de writeup.

wonderful write up. came at the rit time. More power to ur elbow. Remain blessed

Nice write up OP, How I wish most prospective couples can read these before saying "I do" it would hv been wonderful.

Montalo: cool write-up but this ''no-sexx-till marriage thing" is contrary to the mentality of most guys nowadays, though i wouldnt blame us (cos of this woman's fertility brouhaha). Its now a normal trend to get the lady pregnant 1st before tying the knot properly...i love the write-up.

u cant practice what God wants and align with the world at the same time, the things of GOD seem foolish to the average man,but at last it leads to our Good, mans ways seem good at sight, but leads to death.follow God he sees the whole maze of life, ur lustful eyes only see before u

@op u'l continue 2 increase in wisdom, with people like u dat has this kinda mindset then there's hope 4 our youths. More grace 2 your ministry dear

I had to join nairaland because of your topic and because of my friend that keeps sending me nairaland links(she knows herself) that said, nice write up and I would love to share it on my blog if you won't mind, lots of people get carried away with the usual razzmatazz of dating and expectations, and compare the person that gives more in money or sex or phone calls and they fail to compare the heart that loves God , loves people and loves them, they go into relationship with the wrong mindset and end up with conartists who claim to love them but who are just in lust with them, who only care about the body and what they can get than the soul and what they can give