What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? - Family - Nairaland
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| What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by Nobody: 10:07am On Dec 15, 2012 |
Punch newspaper, in Nigeria, recently published an article by Leke Alder the brand strategy consultant, on Nigeria's yahoo-yahoo boy image which is killing her economy. Young vibrant youths who want to drive flashy cars and live in expensive homes over night. Don't forget those arrested at various borders around the world for drug smuggling. These people did not drop from the sky so we parents have to ask ourselves what we are really teaching our children about hard work. Over-indulgence, Dr. Phil once said, is one of the most insidious forms of child abuse. I get so frightened by the obvious hazards standing in the way of us teaching our children the value of hard work, its not uncommon to hear certain peer groups to sight Kim Kardashian as a role model. Children seem to have so many external images telling them their worth is determined by what they own and they define their happiness and their status in the world as a function of what they wear. Having nice things is not bad but they must understand that they must work hard in order to acquiring such things. They should be driven by a sense of personal pride and accomplishment. Many of the lessons we learn in life start in the home. Work ethic is not part of the national school curriculum. Read more here: http://www.covenantrelationships.org/2012/12/teaching-your-children-work-and.html?m=1 1 Like |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by Blazay(m): 7:55am On Dec 16, 2012 |
1. Get them pets to take cafe of. . . ANIMAL OR PLANT.  2. Give them chores to ensure discipline. . . THEY MAY NOT LIKE IT. . .BUT THEY MUST DO THEM. 3. Familiarize them with actions and consequences. . . REWARD AND PUNISHMENT. 4. Be their BEST ROLE MODELS. . . you can't teach them what you are NOT! MOST IMPORTANTLY. . . NEVER. . . NEVER. . . NEVER BEAT/HIT THEM! YOU ARE TEACHING THEM HOW TO BE VIOLENT. 6 Likes |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by Nobody: 8:24am On Dec 16, 2012 |
You do not get a free pass, Daddy and I work very hard so you don't get anything by throwing tantrums and because so and so has it. You earn points for taking care of your toys, keeping your area clean and respecting others. You get points for being polite and loss points for throwing tantrums being rude or not keeping your space clean. We also teaach him how to share and give, we ask him to pick clothes and toys himself and take him to give to kids who are not so fortunate, when we go shopping we also ask him to select for other kids and not just himself. He went for a sleep over once and came back screaming anytime he asked for something and we said No, nobldy told him to adjust and apologise after a few days, needless to say he will not be going for any more sleep overs with that child. He also has to earn good grades, we encourage him to ask questions never scream at him to shut up and answer questions to the best of our aabilities. Parenting is hard work oh. Especially now wwith 24 hour television. Most of the kids seem to have all the advertised toys and it takes a lot to exolain to his small mind why he doesn't need every toy shown on TV 5 Likes |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by Nobody: 12:59pm On Dec 16, 2012 |
My eldest earns money for cleaning up her room and sweeping the hallway. .... she asked me one day mommy $1 in 1 million places is $1M right? I dropped the soup spoon and thought about it again before I responded yes baby ..... this girl will make a fortune out of me eh  She also volunteers once a week at Salvation Army . She has a pet ( chinchilla) she has to take care of everyday ....... she was on my neck for that pet , I didn't ask for it... so it's her responsibility to care for it and ofcourse with help. We support / sponsor 3 kids from 3rd world countries and she makes sure she uses her clothes & toys gently so she can pass it on to 2 of them that are her age group. I couldn't be prouder of her and so far so good I'm doing a great job.... 2 Likes |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by Nobody: 4:54pm On Dec 16, 2012 |
I totally agree with having pets! It is a wonderful way to teach responsibility. When my daughter is older I hope to get her a puppy. I had a hampster and a budgie and it helped me learn how to care for a being other than myself. |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by Nobody: 5:02pm On Dec 16, 2012 |
jidegirl12: My eldest earns money for cleaning up her room and sweeping the hallway. .... she asked me one day mommy $1 in 1 million places is $1M right? I dropped the soup spoon and thought about it again before I responded yes baby ..... this girl will make a fortune out of me eh. Sounds like your doing a great job but be careful when giving financial rewards to children. Understand "intrinsic" versus "extrinsic" motivation. Intrinsic motivation is when people do things because they feel proud of themselves when they do it. They feel a sense of accomplishment and achievement. Extrinsic motivation is when someone does something because of external motivation. For example, they will receive money, a toy or priviledge if they do the task. If you are always rewarding your child with material things, he/she will never learn how to motivate themselves with internal rewards like pride. They also will never learn to value things because there are so many things and nothing is special. 7 Likes |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by Nobody: 11:01pm On Dec 16, 2012 |
^^^ true . Thanks |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by Nobody: 11:13pm On Dec 16, 2012 |
jidegirl12: ^^^ true . Thanks You're welcome |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by greatgod2012(f): 3:29am On Dec 17, 2012 |
Teaching them to be involved in activities carried out at home, in their school and in d church and to be responsible for their actions. At home........... though, they are young, they have to sweep, always making sure their rooms are clean and tidy, after finishing eating, cleaning d dining table, without being told, when necessary,when either me or their dad is coming from a place, holding something, no matter how small, they have to try and assist, reading their books without being told, this had already led to d eldest teaching d younger ones without being instructed, asking question when confused, instead of murmuring, standing for elders to sit, leaving d living room when there is or are visitors around.....etc. In school.........offering to help their teachers, may be to collect books, when asked to submit notes, offering to help classmate in explaining what a classmate do not understand better, sharing of snacks with a classmate that do not have, and never collect snacks from another classmate,ie contemptment, never involve in fighting with classmate, rather report to d teacher when disturbed by one or some classmates. In d church........ Offering to help arrange chairs when and where necessary, offering to read bible passages, offering to lead in praying, taught them how to always pay tithe when they are given money by visitors, contributing offering...etc. Parenting is a difficult task, but if one is firm about it, there is alot to be achieved, so far so good, im happy about and for them, one thing im sure of is that they will grow up with all these trainigs and its gonna help them alot and at d same time, make us their happy and proud parents. May God help us all. 2 Likes |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by Nobody: 9:12am On Dec 17, 2012 |
greatgod2012: Teaching them to be involved in activities carried out at home, in their school and in d church and to be responsible for their actions. Great!  |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by greatgod2012(f): 9:52am On Dec 17, 2012 |
kunletiwoo: thanks,quite an age, hope no problem? |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by pak: 9:59am On Dec 17, 2012 |
parisienne: . oooh parisienne, that was so wonderful. I could nominate you for nairaland family poster of the year based on this post alone |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by Nobody: 10:41am On Dec 17, 2012 |
greatgod2012: Hello Madam Oluwatobiloba, I'm fine, no issues at all. Jst bin busy with wk. How are you and your family? |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by Nobody: 10:47am On Dec 17, 2012 |
Blazay: 1. Get them pets to take cafe of. . . ANIMAL OR PLANT. 1. what about getting them toys to take care of. Animals wont do it for me, maybe plants are better off. 2. Good one. 3. Good one there. 4 hmmm....wahala go dey for me and my daughter for that one o. 5. but small spanking will npt harm them na. at least a very small one. 1 Like |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by Nobody: 2:03pm On Dec 17, 2012 |
pak:thankies |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by Okijajuju1(m): 5:13pm On Dec 17, 2012 |
 1 Like |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by Nobody: 5:14pm On Dec 17, 2012 |
bump |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by ITbomb(m): 5:24pm On Dec 17, 2012 |
.I don't really like the idea of rewarding children with money for household chores they should be doing selflessly for the family. It may be contradictory , teaching them that being a good samaritan should earn them money 1 Like |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by freakcin: 5:34pm On Dec 17, 2012 |
Blazay: 1. Get them pets to take cafe of. . . ANIMAL OR PLANT. 1-4 is okay but I have a lil problem with thatlast point of yours. I pray I bear kids who'll listen to me @ a go else na koboko levels oooh! 2 Likes |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by BANGASOUP1: 5:35pm On Dec 17, 2012 |
Okija_juju: who ask u |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by veraponpo(m): 6:36pm On Dec 17, 2012 |
This is a good topic. It reminds me of President Abraham Lincoln's letter to the teacher of his child: LETTER FROM ABRAHAM LINCOLN TO HIS SON’S TEACHER “My son starts school today. It is all going to be strange and new to him for a while and I wish you would treat him gently. It is an adventure that might take him across continents. All adventures that probably include wars, tragedy and sorrow. To live this life will require faith, love and courage. So dear Teacher, will you please take him by his hand and teach him things he will have to know, teaching him - but gently, if you can. Teach him that for every enemy, there is a friend. He will have to know that all men are not just, that all men are not true. But teach him also that for every scoundrel there is a hero, that for every crooked politician, there is a dedicated leader. Teach him if you can that 10 cents earned is of far more value than a dollar found. In school, teacher, it is far more honorable to fail than to cheat. Teach him to learn how to gracefully lose, and enjoy winning when he does win. Teach him to be gentle with people, tough with tough people. Steer him away from envy if you can and teach him the secret of quiet laughter. Teach him if you can - how to laugh when he is sad, teach him there is no shame in tears. Teach him there can be glory in failure and despair in success. Teach him to scoff at cynics. Teach him if you can the wonders of books, but also give time to ponder the extreme mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun and flowers on a green hill. Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if every one tell him they are wrong. Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd when everyone else is doing it. Teach him to listen to every one, but teach him also to filters all that he hears on a screen of truth and take only the good that comes through. Teach him to sell his talents and brains to the highest bidder but never to put a price tag on his heart and soul. Let him have the courage to be impatient, let him have the patient to be brave. Teach him to have sublime faith in himself, because then he will always have sublime faith in mankind, in God. This is the order, teacher but see what best you can do. He is such a nice little boy and he is my son. 2 Likes |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by Nobody: 7:29pm On Dec 17, 2012 |
@veraponpo: That was lovely! Thank you so much for that contribution!!! |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by Nobody: 9:02pm On Dec 17, 2012 |
Debrief so what do you reward with those points for doing chores and keeping their spaces clean please? Nobody is perfect to learn from others in as much as I sometimes think I am doing everything right.( I think so  )All her friends in school earns money for doing stuff too so why can't she? She's doing great with her grades and very responsible helping the needy some kids will stay home and play Xbox , also she pays her tithe from her earnings and has a piggy bank for the rest, I just think she deserves it Now I feel bad. |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by Curiouscity(m): 2:55am On Dec 18, 2012 |
jidegirl12: Debrief so what do you reward with those points for doing chores and keeping their spaces clean please? My extended mother-in-law, please don't reward her with money because her peers are getting same thing. Rather, teach her to learn to be positively different from others. Rewarding her with money depends on her age. I think rewarding anyone below 10yrs is not very proper (personal opinion though). Even if she is older than 10, you should do it as a way of teaching her financial responsibility but not because others do same. And you should monitor how (on what) she spends the money. Keep doing the good work while I do same here with her "to-be"  1 Like |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by Nobody: 7:48am On Dec 18, 2012 |
Points are just points, high points means you have been good, low points means you have been naughty. I try not to do things because others are doing it. Other parents also stuff their kids with chocolates and ice cream as a full meal, we choose healthy meals, off course every child will prefer chocolates, Ice cream and cake 24/7 but we make our own choices and tell him why. Try to let your child be comfortable with your own practice and not worry so much what other kids get or do. 2 Likes |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by ITbomb(m): 7:50am On Dec 18, 2012 |
. |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by freakcin: 10:13am On Dec 18, 2012 |
Interesting comments, bookmarking this page. Might need it soon! |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by mindboggler: 10:29am On Dec 18, 2012 |
I don't give my children money when they behave well or keep the house clean, etc. Instead, i encourage and praise them for their effort it really goes a long way to boost their confidence and they feel motivated to keep up the good job that i praised them for. My son has a lot of toys but he could go out and see a toy that he doesn't have then he'll come home and ask that we buy that toy for him. We don't buy the toys because he said so in essence, we are teaching him to be content with what he has. If i get him everything he asks for he'll turn out to be a spoilt child, same for his siblings. They do little age appropriate chores around the house and when they are through they go and play. I have a time frame for them to watch TV in the house so they have their own time and i and my hubby have ours. Left to them they could sit in front of the TV and watch cartoons all day long,  I spank my kids mildly but that's when they have been reeeeeeaaaaaally naughty. I must have warned them of the naughty trait maybe like twice on different occasions and the third warning would be with a spank. Trust me it rids them of the naughty behaviour forever, lol. |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by Nobody: 10:38am On Dec 18, 2012 |
debrief08: Points are just points, high points means you have been good, low points means you have been naughty. @Jidegirl, Debreif is very right. Let's try to make our children see that its ok to be different and have different values. On the issue of monetary rewards, I'd say since you've started it would be odd to just stop abruptly but next time she does something good try not giving her money and when she asks tell her its her responsibility to keep her space clean and she is doing a good job and that she should be proud of herself. When she volunteers at the Salvation army, tell her people will not always appreciate her good deeds but she should keep doing them anyway. If you give her some money after that has sunk in I think its not so bad. She might be a bit dissapointed but that is no reason not to give her something meaningful to think about. When she grows up she will look back and love you all the more for it. |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by Nobody: 11:02am On Dec 18, 2012 |
I think the key is to have them driven by a sense of accomplishment. |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by Nobody: 12:32pm On Dec 18, 2012 |
No babies yet but my plans are simple -Learn how to volunteer your time wisely and for your own cause. -Learn how to be tidy (physically/spatially) -Learn how to wear your own hair until 16 (for daughters). Their father will spoil them, I can see that happening  |
| Re: What Are You Teaching Your Children About Hard Work And Responsibility? by Nobody: 2:02pm On Dec 18, 2012 |
Thanks OP, I honestly don't know how to go back on the money thingy..... she'll be disappointed with those puppy eyes  I'll figure it out, thanks again. |
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