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The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor - Religion - Nairaland

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The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by esere826: 2:13pm On Dec 16, 2012
This write up is not meant to provide fodder to the aethists or anti-christrians
neither is it really meant as a pastor bashing thread
I am not praising the skills that will be detailed here either

I write simply because I must write in order to think better and then move on

The thread simply sheds lights on the valley of opaqueness of pastors wealth in Nigeria
It also helps you if you are a pastor to understand how easy it is for you to be rich if you choose to be.
It is then between you, God and your congregation to decide how the money should be managed

Milk for the children and meat for the adults
let the eyes of our understanding be open. Amen
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by esere826: 2:41pm On Dec 16, 2012
1) Starting out

You've spent most part of your teenage life preaching the gospel
you're now a young adult (probably in your early to mid 20's), and want to start a church
you feel you've got the calling, and have prayed about it
Fear not. What is before you is greater than what is behind
Your needs are provided for even before you start

Simply start a little fellowship in your parents house
go preaching the gospel and win souls to christ
ensure that the new converts attend your fellowship even if they attend their regular churches

Using your parents house for the fellowship ensures that your costs are kept to the minimum
dad and mum will foot the bills
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by esere826: 3:17pm On Dec 16, 2012
2) Have a big vision and small goals

Now that you have your little fellowship, don't despise it.
In it lies the seed of something bigger than you could ever imagine
However, it can only be as big as you want it to be and that you can handle. No more

But gently here. You'd need little steps to get to your place of rest
You're getting a little bit older
dad and mum are worried that you are still asking them for money
whereas your mates are begining to settle down -NYSC, marriage jobs etc

Somehow there is a nexus between your financial needs and the need for your fellowship to move away from mums kitchen into an official building
You'll start praying about this
and a way out will be revealed ....
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by esere826: 3:38pm On Dec 16, 2012
3) Offernings and giving

You're now becoming more sensitive to scriptures and books that deal with money (thats what happens when you pray money prayers)
you share your vision to move on with your fellowship of twenty or thereabout. They seem excited about this
but when you talk about the finances, they seem dismayed. The Haleluyah's are a little bit subdued

You whip out scriptures that point to the need for your congregation to give to the vision
these scriptures talk about associated blessings
This excites your congregation a little bit. They need jobs after schooling, and husbands too
So they sow.

Also, God might just lay in the heart of a big uncle to give your fellowship a big donation. Haleleluyah
you're now ready to take that big step of faith
You now rent a run-down hall or warehouse on the cheap.
The ladies are more than happy to bring their feminine skills to bear in making the place look good

The hall is yours 24/7. What a waste for a fellowship
its time that the fellowship becomes a church with Sunday services too
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by esere826: 3:49pm On Dec 16, 2012
4) XYZ church international

Your fellowship is growing stronger by the day. Its been 4 years since you started in mums kitchen
You now have 50 youths attending the fellowship, and 20 attending the church

Those attending only the fellowship still attend their parents churches
That is not good because they give the bulk of their offerings to their mother church while giving you church the left overs
Plus you've always wanted a big church. 20 is too small a number

You're bareely surviving as you pay the bills
You've preached about tithes, but the tithes of twenty youths is not much
You go into more prayers. Your ministry needs more of everything
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by esere826: 3:57pm On Dec 16, 2012
5) Carnivals on the Streets

The idea soon drops in -advertising/spreading the gospel more visibly
You gather your fellowship and church members for an outdoor street carnival of preaching the gospel with gusto

Everyone is excited. its an event. Folks love events -this you are now gradually learning.
your members borrow their parents cars, honk down the streets dancing in a slow parade, sharing tracts with your church name and picture firmly on them
The girls ensure that their toasters are at thse carnivals. If not, no show

Umhh... you're learning
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by esere826: 4:03pm On Dec 16, 2012
6) On the TV

The next sunday, your church attendance is 80. Thank God you always had extra chairs
These members are still fickle. They've got bigger names that they are attracted to

You need to keep them engaged with you.
Its time for a TV ministry

The TV ministry if well packaged, and if you indeed have a gift will make you shine
We all love to be a part of the movies. You're a little celebrity
Your members are now endeared to you. More are comming
Your Sunday curch services need to be broken into 2 services
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by esere826: 4:14pm On Dec 16, 2012
7) Review

Its about 8 years since you had your first home fellowship
You're now about 32 years old
you now have a congregation of 300 church goers
you broadcast on TV once every month

You want more....Halleluyah... you aint seen nothing yet

Too many young, attractive single ladies in your church
The temptation is too much, and you've fallen a couple of times
Thankfully it was hush, hush. Such mistakes could destroy your church if exposed
It's time to get married. This should help

You go out of your ministry to pick an extremely pretty girl from a rich home, have a romantic affair with her discreetly and then marry her
some of your female members are unimpressed, and leave the church
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by esere826: 4:30pm On Dec 16, 2012
8 ) Money, money, money

Its now 13 years since that first day
You're married, with a kid. You needs and those of the church are expanding

Its now a congregation of 3000, with a TV series once every week
You've built a modest church
You've been wise with your finances, and ensured that costs are kept to the minimum

Associate pastors have day jobs, and do not have church salaries
90% of church staff are volunteers

Its time to move into the really big league
at least 100,000 members globally
You pull out your spreadsheet and make forcasts

3000 members contributing 1000naira every sunday through tithes and offerings
= 12 million naira per month
In a year, this is 144 million naira annualy


with a future number of 100,000 members. revenue set at 1000 naira per member per week
= 400 million per month. ...excellent
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by esere826: 4:40pm On Dec 16, 2012
9) No more salaries

You now feel that you need to stop getting paid by the church. The money needs to be devoted towards churchy things
you pray about this

Soon it hits you.. GBAM!!!.

With a constant cashflow of at least 12 million naira per month. Banks where the money is kept are willing to give you very cheap loans to do business with. Wow!!!.
With cheap credit which is unavailable to most nigerians, you start doing business -Schools, univeristies, restaurants, event centers, hotels, transport companies,... name it.

While this is going on, you encourage your church members to persist in their giving. God is not a God that understands recessions. This is true, and beneficial to you too.
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by esere826: 4:47pm On Dec 16, 2012
10) your private jets and your interview

Its been 25 years since that first day
you stopped earning church salaries about 12 years ago
You now have a global church with 300 thousand plus members globally
With revenues from tithes and offerings of at least 15 billion naira annually

You need to travel at short notice globally
A private jet is needed, so you buy one
There is an outcry

You grant an interview and make it clear that you've not received a church salary for at least 12 years now
Yes indeed sir, you are very correct
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by Ishilove: 4:50pm On Dec 16, 2012
Jesu Kristi! shocked
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by Ishilove: 4:55pm On Dec 16, 2012
Esere ma niqqa, this thread is prime fodder for all 'em anti-christians and atheists. Very soon Logicboy and his motley crew of christian bashers will set up camp here and make minced meat of this thread.

Fasten your seatbelt. grin
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by PastorKun(m): 5:33pm On Dec 16, 2012
Matthew 7:15
15 Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly are ravening wolves.

Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by esere827: 5:46pm On Dec 16, 2012
10) Choosing your luxury toy -A private jet or a yatch

Now you've got a church spread all over the world
Buying a luxuey yatch is not a great asset. It simply spells excesses and is indefensible
besides, Nigeria does not have a great and explored water way

A jet on the other hand makes a lot of sense.
You could fly with it almost daily to varoius dispersed locations,
and also rent it out to politicians and their cronies at a price

So you settle for a jet.
Folks are upset with you, the media is awash with your jet story
It makes sense, no need to disdain them. they are down, and you're up.
Up in the wings of a metallic eagle

You call a press conference and inform the media that you've not been paid by the church for a long time
God is he who gave you power to make wealth

yes, indeed this is true.
anyone with a collateral of constant income will always have access to cheap loans
(many dont know this, but a bank would rather give someone with a guaranteed monthly income of 30,000 a loan, than someone who has a one off 1 million naira deposit)

So you see, you are indeed blessed of God
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by Ishilove: 6:00pm On Dec 16, 2012
esere826*:
11) Conclusion

a spam machine banned me and hid post #10,
Hehehehehe...pele grin cheesy
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by PastorKun(m): 6:22pm On Dec 16, 2012
@esere826
You can repost the number 10 na
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by esere826: 6:35pm On Dec 16, 2012
11) Conclusion

*Believing that a spam machine banned me and hid post #10, I'll continue (Please MODs, if this is not the case kindly alert me. Thanks)*

Now that you are a successful pastor
its time for you and your flock to look back and reflect
reflect on the wilderness experience and how God strengthened and sharpened your intellect
and used this as a tool in taking you to the promised land

I confess that I personally have a poor sense of wrong and right
I therefore am not able to easily condemn

However, let's all be clear
that money does not fall from the sky no matter how hard we pray
its humans, you and I that are the source of physical money
these humans we must not disdain, but deal with in utmost respect at least as the channels of blessings
They (under the wings of the almighty) got us to where we are

.... Halleluyah


* I have modified and reposted post #10*
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by esere827: 6:53pm On Dec 16, 2012
Pastor Kun: @esere826
You can repost the number 10 na

I have done this

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Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by AtheistD(m): 8:12pm On Dec 16, 2012
The business plan of a pastor/MOG.

@ishilove. That was my expression too when i first saw this topic shocked. 12 mill a month. I am in the wrong profession.
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by channel190(m): 9:35pm On Dec 16, 2012
esere826: 3) Offernings and giving

You're now becoming more sensitive to scriptures and books that deal with money (thats what happens when you pray money prayers)
you share your vision to move on with your fellowship of twenty or thereabout. They seem excited about this
but when you talk about the finances, they seem dismayed. The Haleluyah's are a little bit subdued

You whip out scriptures that point to the need for your congregation to give to the vision
these scriptures talk about associated blessings
This excites your congregation a little bit. They need jobs after schooling, and husbands too
So they sow.

Also, God might just lay in the heart of a big uncle to give your fellowship a big donation. Haleleluyah
you're now ready to take that big step of faith
You now rent a run-down hall or warehouse on the cheap.
The ladies are more than happy to bring their feminine skills to bear in making the place look good

The hall is yours 24/7. What a waste for a fellowship
its time that the fellowship becomes a church with Sunday services too
sharp sharp income.

Am on my tinking bed o
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by esere826: 9:39pm On Dec 16, 2012
9b) Real Estates
(How could i have forgotten this major key to wealth)

With loan from the bank, buy a cheap piece of real estate for yourself in an unused or disused part of lagos
I am talking of virgin land the size of many villages. Call its "Believers island"
also buy a nice piece for your church in this location (this is the secret)
Start building a megachurch there

Investors are smart. they know an oppurtunity when they see one, and will swam to you for some pieces of land
Sell some plots to them and use the money to pay off the loans
Hold your end of year church events here
Soon, roads and houses will spring up around your virgin territory

You could build a road to the church, or wait till a minister or governor starts attending your church
pronto, You've got yourself a road
As your megachurch takes shape with time, the value of your real estate hits the rooftop
. We're talking billions of naira

I think you should do this before purchasing your private jet

Now welcome to the billionaire club
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by esere826: 9:42pm On Dec 16, 2012
Let me assure you all
This is no strategy that just anybody can tap into

You do need an amount of God's hand on your life to acheive this
Even if you'r an aethist and try this
you'd be converted before you're halfway there wink

ahahahah I laugh in tongues

2 Likes

Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by AtheistD(m): 10:21pm On Dec 16, 2012
esere826: Let me assure you all
This is no strategy that just anybody can tap into

You do need an amount of God's hand on your life to acheive this
Even if you'r an aethist and try this
you'd be converted before you're halfway there
wink

ahahahah I laugh in tongues

sad
Just as I was dusting off my bible I saw your post. Oh well. Back to attacking tithe robbing pastors again.
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by esere826: 10:28pm On Dec 16, 2012
Atheist:-D:


sad
Just as I was dusting off my bible I saw your post. Oh well. Back to attacking tithe robbing pastors again.

oops
sorry about that my friend
please go ahead
grin
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by AtheistD(m): 10:34pm On Dec 16, 2012
esere826:

oops
sorry about that my friend
please go ahead
grin

My pleasure.

Are you a pastor by the way grin
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by esere826: 1:49am On Dec 17, 2012
Atheist:-D:


My pleasure.

Are you a pastor by the way grin

wink
^^could mean anything
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by channel190(m): 2:47am On Dec 17, 2012
hurrah this year is your year, receive your prophecy come join me in my nairaland worship ebi fellowship,
Price; best of xmas meat for me
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by channel190(m): 3:36am On Dec 17, 2012
hurrah this year is your year, receive your prophecy come join me in, my nairaland worship ebi fellowship,
Price; best of xmas meat for me
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by obalola7: 3:49am On Dec 17, 2012
Easier said than done... Its easy to fight a war with mouth, build multimillion church with 13 pieces of sectional notes and make people to believe.

Its like saying to have a PhD all you need to do is, go to nursery, primary, secondary, university for Bsc, then for Msc and then Phd.
How many people don't know that, and how many people have succeeded making it to Phd?
You know how many people who will die on the road if they embark on the journey of this your notes?
you think everyone has a parent with a building?
How many has uncle that can drop money and how many rich man will drop for a poor pastor they don't know?

It might have worked for one or 2 people who endured hunger, homelessness, poverty out of 160 million while building on the dream your notes prescribed, but its not a silver bullet. There are many "How to tutorials that is not practical in real life."

However, i think you should rather concentrate on a thread that focus on how pastors who have failed their members could have done it right, for instance,

Using the money to create a better welfare for their congregation by:
-Providing subsidized university that even the poorest church member can afford to make one of his children to attend.
-Establish business that will employ more than 70% members of the church especially those who have no job
-Building Hospitals, Schools, Hotels, Transportation companies that will allow for massive employment for the members and also benefit them
-Making the church for all and not for family own and teach contentment not greed
-Living modest and not affluent.. What would a pastor do with 5 cars, when members only rely on their legs, multiple mansion when lots of the members have no home, where will
all these go to, when the pastor eventually die?

i guess some of these pastors don't read their bible enough to learn from Solomon. All is vanity, you can only eat what your stomach can contain, be in a car at a time, live in a bed room at a time and spend so much and then begin to waste the rest.

1 Like

Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by channel190(m): 4:27am On Dec 17, 2012
obalola7: Easier said than done... Its easy to fight a war with mouth, build multimillion church with 13 pieces of sectional notes and make people to believe it so.

Its like saying to have a PhD all you need to do is, go to nursery, primary, secondary, university for Bsc, then for Msc and then Phd.
How many people don't know that, and how many people have succeeded actually making it to Phd,

You know how many people who will die on the road if they embark on the journey of this your notes?
you think everyone has a parent with a building?
How many has uncle that can drop money and how many rich man will drop for a poor pastor they don't know?

It might have worked for one or 2 people who endured hunger, homelessness, poverty while building on the dream your notes prescribed, but 1 million will fail to achieve this.
However, i think you should rather concentrate on a thread that focus on how pastors who have failed their members could have done it right eg

Using the money to create a better welfare for their congregation by:
-Providing subsidized university that even the poorest church member can afford to make one of his children to attend.
-Establish business that will employ more than 70% members of the church especially those who have no job
-Building Hospitals, Schools, Hotels, Transportation companies that will allow for massive employment for the members and also benefit them
-Making the church for all and not for family own and teach contentment not greed
-Living modest and not affluent.. What would a pastor do with 5 cars, when members only rely on their legs, multiple mansion when lots of the members have no home, where will
all these go to, when the pastor eventually die?

i guess some of these pastors don't read their bible enough to learn from Job. All is vanity, you can only eat what your stomach can contain, be in a car at a time, live in a bed room at a time and spend so much and then begin to waste the rest.



now, am embarking on it, I will build universities on nairaland free for all, «let me start reading my bible to finish it before January my take off date»
C,ome join me now that you can, do you have a melodious voice?
Re: The Treasures Of The Heathens: How To Become A Rich Pastor by obalola7: 4:30am On Dec 17, 2012
channel 190:

now, am embarking on it, I will build universities on nairaland free for all, «let me start reading my bible to finish it before January my take off date»
C,ome join me now that you can, do you have a melodious voice?

all i can do is just laugh.. you are so funny. Man don't try things that will put you in hell fire o
Apart from the fact that hell fire is still waiting, what will happen to you if you encounter spiritual attacks, those could shorten your life and eventually lose out on both side(no money and no heaven)? I guess you think every popular eyes or pastors out there are immune to attack? Always have it in mind that there are cold, hot, warm heads, if Jesus fought the spiritual possessed, be ready to fight.

If you think you stand kanpe and go slap devil, you will just see that, you will be roasted within days if not instantaneously, i guess you have forgotten

Act 19:13-16

13 Then certain of the vagabond Jews, exorcists, took upon them to call over them which had evil spirits the name of the Lord Jesus, saying, We adjure you by Jesus whom Paul preacheth.

14 And there were seven sons of one Sceva, a Jew, and chief of the priests, which did so.

15 And the evil spirit answered and said, Jesus I know, and Paul I know; but who are ye?

16 And the man in whom the evil spirit was leaped on them, and overcame them, and prevailed against them, so that they fled out of that house naked and wounded.

17 And this was known to all the Jews and Greeks also dwelling at Ephesus; and fear fell on them all, and the name of the Lord Jesus was magnified.

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