Hi everyone,

I respectfully request the MOD to hide or delete any insulting words from anyone that will comment to this if she/he cannot comment politely. Thanks
I need some advice from only matured people !
I have a friend in Nigeria. We've been friends for many years.
I left her 8 years ago, i use to call her and we also chat online
Few months ago, she requested me sending her a mobile phone

I told her that i can get her a mobile phone but the problem is i hardly see anyone coming to Nigeria her area
After sometimes, i contacted her that I've got her a phone but i haven't see anyone coming to 9ja and that she should let me know as soon as she find anyone coming home. After like 3 weeks, she sent me a nasty message that ''Oga ore, i only asked u common phone and u refused to send it to me''
I replied her message that, i never said i'm not sending you a phone, after all I've bought the phone already but i haven't see anyone coming home, and i can't cargo phone with the price of the phone itself and i cant send the phone through DHL with the same price of the mobile phone because it does not worht it at all. Its even better sending the money than using the price of the phone itself to send a mobile phone to 9ja, it does not worth it.
She replied my message again with a nasty reply, but i never mind, we chat for few minutes and she concluded that ''that means i mean i cannot spend a certain amount for her to send phone to her''
Since then, she refused to chat with me. For months now, she has refused to talk to me and chat with me
She is keeping malice with me till now.

I have sent her messages after then and recently, she still refused to respond and still keeping malice with me.
I have been sending stuffs to her immediate sister that was very close to me, but i've not seed personal stuffs to her in particular truly purposely because i and her immediate sister lived in same city in Nigeria before, while she herself live in another city due to school.

Can it be said she even consider for the fact that at least i've been sending stuffs to her sister before and our other friends, but she never think about that, she's still keeping malice with me.

Now, guess what? This my friend has never give me a single call for good 8 years. Except recently when she just joined Facebook and chatting with me

When i lost my parents, she could not even give me a single call let alone a text message.
She has never call me for once since i left her 8 years ago.

Now, she is keeping malice with me all because of mobile phone, and despite i've even got the phone for her but just that i don't see anyone going to Nigeria yet.
This is the reason why she's keeping malice with me.

I even reported her to her sister, but her sister sounds in support of her indirectly and her sister said ''maybe because she thinks its not necessary for her to call me because we are friends''. Can you imagine.

So please i need your best advise. What should i do? Ignore her or i should keep sending her messages? And that what?

What kind of message you think i can send to her that will touch her heart or make her realize that she's wrong.
But this friend is a kind of friend that always right !

Pls oooo

What type of friend is she? An ordinary friend or a friend you wish to marry in d future?
If she is an ordinary friend, then, shes probably one of d pple that believe that once u travelled out of d country, u no longer work b4 u get money, money just flow to you.

However, if you have d intention of settling down with her in d future, then, its somehow difficult to know her intention, especially when her own side of d story is missing, but i have a few questns for you:
1. When she requested for d phone, why didnt u send her money to buy d phone in naija herself, knowing fully well that you may not be able to get d phone across to her.
2. You claim to send stuff to her thru her sister, why didnt you send d phone along with d stuff?
3. You claim to send her stuff, how did she thank you for what you sent to her, does she call or you call her.
4.you asked if you should ignore her or not, but may i ask, how do you intend to continue relating with somebody who has refused to pick your calls, reply your messages, and even refused to call and say "hi" for d past 8 years, do you intend to go back to Naija to solidify your relationship with her?
I think d message is clear enough, expect you want to pretend that you do not get d message she is passing across. I think she is interested in what she will get from you and not in you yourself.


###"I SMELL MATERIALISM", NOT LOVE###

May God help you.

greatgod2012: What type of friend is she? An ordinary friend or a friend you wish to marry in d future?
If she is an ordinary friend, then, shes probably one of d pple that believe that once u travelled out of d country, u no longer work b4 u get money, money just flow to you.

However, if you have d intention of settling down with her in d future, then, its somehow difficult to know her intention, especially when her own side of d story is missing, but i have a few questns for you:
1. When she requested for d phone, why didnt u send her money to buy d phone in naija herself, knowing fully well that you may not be able to get d phone across to her.
2. You claim to send stuff to her thru her sister, why didnt you send d phone along with d stuff?
3. You claim to send her stuff, how did she thank you for what you sent to her, does she call or you call her.
4.you asked if you should ignore her or not, but may i ask, how do you intend to continue relating with somebody who has refused to pick your calls, reply your messages, and even refused to call and say "hi" for d past 8 years, do you intend to go back to Naija to solidify your relationship with her?
I think d message is clear enough, expect you want to pretend that you do not get d message she is passing across. I think she is interested in what she will get from you and not in you yourself.


###"I SMELL MATERIALISM", NOT LOVE###

May God help you.

She said her friend is she and not he, the best thing is to ignore her. She's not a good friend and can be dangerous friend that pretend

greatgod2012: What type of friend is she? An ordinary friend or a friend you wish to marry in d future?
If she is an ordinary friend, then, shes probably one of d pple that believe that once u travelled out of d country, u no longer work b4 u get money, money just flow to you.

However, if you have d intention of settling down with her in d future, then, its somehow difficult to know her intention, especially when her own side of d story is missing, but i have a few questns for you:
1. When she requested for d phone, why didnt u send her money to buy d phone in naija herself, knowing fully well that you may not be able to get d phone across to her.
2. You claim to send stuff to her thru her sister, why didnt you send d phone along with d stuff?
3. You claim to send her stuff, how did she thank you for what you sent to her, does she call or you call her.
4.you asked if you should ignore her or not, but may i ask, how do you intend to continue relating with somebody who has refused to pick your calls, reply your messages, and even refused to call and say "hi" for d past 8 years, do you intend to go back to Naija to solidify your relationship with her?
I think d message is clear enough, expect you want to pretend that you do not get d message she is passing across. I think she is interested in what she will get from you and not in you yourself.


###"I SMELL MATERIALISM", NOT LOVE###

May God help you.

It seem you did not read my thread properly, so i'm not he, we both are she. Secondly, i did not said i use to sent stuffs to her. Read my thread again... I simply said ''I have been sending stuffs to her immediate sister that was very close to me'' So i mean HER IMMEDIATE SISTER THAT WAS REALLY CLOSE TO ME THEN before i left.

Secondly, i must confess to you that i did not ask her if i should send her money to buy the phone in Nigeria, and the reason is i do not want to create any room for anybody as if i have one money tree here, and moreover i don't think it's necessary sending her money to buy the phone in Nigeria since she did not ask me to send her money to buy phone, so, i don't think I've done bad for buying the phone here only my effort finding anyone going to 9ja from here to no avail, so pls do you mean i've done bad for giving her another alternative in case if she see or heard of anyone coming to 9ja she should let me know?

Your contribution is all about HE, my friend is not HE. We're SHE o..
I still have the phone with me, but i can't send a mobile phone with the price i bought it. Its like waste of money.

And infarct, to think of this, does she even deserve it, she never call me to say hello for ONCE for good 8 years. I also lost my parents she did not call me. Her sister use to call me. but she, she never call me. When i challenged her sometimes, she said she doesn't use to calling, and she has a brother in US, at least she must have called her brother who just left for US, and even her brother in US use to get some stuffs i sent down to them then.

Many people including some of our friends have told me to ignore her that she's not the one sent me over here, but i decided to seek some advice from wise Nairalanders...

junnymercy:




It seem you did not read my thread properly, so i'm not he, we both are she. Secondly, i did not said i use to sent stuffs to her. Read my thread again... I simply said ''I have been sending stuffs to her immediate sister that was very close to me'' So i mean HER IMMEDIATE SISTER THAT WAS REALLY CLOSE TO ME THEN before i left.

Secondly, i must confess to you that i did not ask her if i should send her money to buy the phone in Nigeria, and the reason is i do not want to create any room for anybody as if i have one money tree here, and moreover i don't think it's necessary sending her money to buy the phone in Nigeria since she did not ask me to send her money to buy phone, so, i don't think I've done bad for buying the phone here only my effort finding anyone going to 9ja from here to no avail, so pls do you mean i've done bad for giving her another alternative in case if she see or heard of anyone coming to 9ja she should let me know?

Your contribution is all about HE, my friend is not HE. We're SHE o..
I still have the phone with me, but i can't send a mobile phone with the price i bought it. Its like waste of money.

And infarct, to think of this, does she even deserve it, she never call me to say hello for ONCE for good 8 years. I also lost my parents she did not call me. Her sister use to call me. but she, she never call me. When i challenged her sometimes, she said she doesn't use to calling, and she has a brother in US, at least she must have called her brother who just left for US, and even her brother in US use to get some stuffs i sent down to them then.

Many people including some of our friends have told me to ignore her that she's not the one sent me over here, but i decided to seek some advice from wise Nairalanders...

sincerely, i read through, but i thought yoir friend is "she" while you are "he"
in that case then, i think jealousy and envy had already set in, she is best ignored, to avoid unnecessary tantrums btw both of you.
Sorry for misinterpreting you.

junnymercy:




It seem you did not read my thread properly, so i'm not he, we both are she. Secondly, i did not said i use to sent stuffs to her.

Yet she calls you "Oga"

junnymercy: Hi everyone,


I need some advice from only matured people ''Oga ore, i only asked u common phone and u refused to send it to me'

1. U don't need matured answers cos matured people seeking matured answers will tell the truth and not hide their identity besides, it's your story yet we have not heard her own part of how you are psyching up the two sisters for relationship the same time.

Sorry if you feel bad!

lecturerdabo:

Yet she calls you "Oga"



1. U don't need matured answers cos matured people seeking matured answers will tell the truth and not hide their identity besides, it's your story yet we have not heard her own part of how you are psyching up the two sisters for relationship the same time.

Sorry if you feel bad!

I'm afraid of your comment, my thread simply explain exactly how the issue happened. I'm only seeking advise base on my thread, read and tell me were i'm wrong or not. Simple. And point of correction, i'm not HE, i'm she, and we're all she, we're friends. So read carefully next time before you comment.

.

chaircover: If it will make you feel any better, there are thousands of people going through the same thing. Some people think that money grows on trees here and they think that you owe them lots of things and unless you want to give yourself high blood pressure, you will not let all these things get you down.

Many of these people genuinely dont mean any harm, they just dont know and they think that you are being stingy when you try and explain things to them. Its not until they travel out themselves and do a hard days hustle that they fully understand the stresses that people over here too go through.

A true friend is there for you in good and bad times and it shouldn't just be for what they can get from you. if she wants to keep malice with you over a silly phone that will be out of fashion in 2 months, then there is nothing really that you can do. You cant force someone to be your friend.

Find yourself a friend who wants to be close to you not because of what you can offer but for who you are and vice versa.

10000 Likes... Thanks

You didn't tell us what she has done or did for you when you both were in Naija. She must have done you little favours here and there,for. You to see and call her a friend abi?

If you can't get a means to send her the phone, send her money instead.

You think she's not a true friend,doesn't deserve the phone and courier fee, ignore her.

ifyalways: You didn't tell us what she has done or did for you when you both were in Naija. She must have done you little favours here and there,for. You to see and call her a friend abi?

If you can't get a means to send her the phone, send her money instead.

You think she's not a true friend,doesn't deserve the phone and courier fee, ignore her.

Absolute nothing to be sincere, we're close friend when we were teenager, until she relocate to another state within Nigeria, so after then we do see once in a while... I'm not even bother about phone, the phone is not a problem for me. But my point is must she be keeping malice with me al because of phone? And secondly, someone i believe she's a friend, she has never call me for good 8 years to say hello how is your family... The excuse she gave was she's not use to call. Even when i lost my parents, she did not call me. She could not alter a word when i challenged her for that even.

@Poster, many of us grow up thinking that people we consider friends we should always keep as friends. That is a bad way of going at life. Be ready to let go when the time to let go comes and let things work themselves out. You say she has been your friend for 8 years, fine. But it seems to her a cellphone is worth more than those 8 years you are talking of here. I mean she did not even bother to call you she heard news of your parents(assuming here that she really did know of the situation) because you did not give her a cellphone. Isn't that enough of a message that you probably need to now look for better friends now that you are 8-years older and wiser?? Look for people around you where you are. Not saying you should not communicate with her at all, but know now what your friendship with her is really worth to her.