AN OLD LADY WALKS INTO A BANK WITH A WHOOPING AMOUNT OF MONEY TO SAVE; THE CEO WAS SO OVERWHELMED HE ATTENDED TO HER PERSONALLY, CURIOUS HE ASKED HOW SHE CAME ACROSS SO MUCH MONEY.

GRANDMA: I MAKE BETS AND NEVER LOOSE

CEO: WHAT KIND A BETS

GRANDMA: WELL FOR INSTANCE I CAN BET You $100,000 YOUR BALLS ARE SQUARE IN SHAPE

CEO: THAT’S CRAZY You CAN NEVER WIN

GRANDMA: WELL WHY DON'T You PUT UR MONEY WHERE UR MOUTH IS

CEO: You AR ON

GRANDMA: WELL HOPE You DON'T MIND I'LL B BRINGING MY LAWYER TO WITNESS SO THERE WON'T NO FUNNY GAMES, $100.000 IS A LOT OF MONEY You KNOW.

CEO: NO PROBLEM

GRANDMA: GREAT TOMORROW 10:00am WE'LL BE HERE HAVE A NICE DAY AT NIGHT

THE CEO STOOD IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR CONFUSED CHECKING IS BALLS OUT MAKING SURE THERE WHERE NO CORNERS THERE, SATISFIED AND WENT BACK TO SLEEP. GRANDMA: G.

lol. .

huh

Where is the joke?

Seriously??

seen the joke b4 so lets hlp and complete it,


NEXT MORNING AT 11:55 THE LITTLE OLD LADY ARRIVES WITH A YOUNGER MAN IN A THREE-PIECE SUIT, AND IS ESCORTED TO THE BANK PRESIDENTS OFFICE. THE PRESIDENT IS A NERVOUS WRECK, THOUGH A HAPPY ONE. HE'D GOTTEN ALMOST NO SLEEP THE NIGHT BEFORE, WAKING EVERY FEW MINUTES TO FEEL HIS BALLS TO CHECK FOR IMPENDING SQUARENESS, BUT NOTHING HAPPENED ALL NIGHT. HE HAD CHECKED HUNDREDS OF TIMES THAT MORNING, BUT STILL NOTHING; PERFECTLY NORMAL.

WHEN THE LITTLE OLD LADY ARRIVED HE STARTED TO RELAX, KNOWING HE HAD WON. "COME IN, PLEASE HAVE A SEAT! WHO MIGHT THIS GENTLEMAN BE?" SAID THE PRESIDENT.

"HES MY LAWYER. FOR A BET OF THIS SIZE I WANT TO HAVE A WITNESS. ANY OBJECTIONS?"

"NO, PERFECTLY UNDERSTANDABLE", SAID THE PRESIDENT.

"WELL, ITS NOW NOON, AND I'M STILL UNCHANGED, SO I GUESS I WIN!" HE SAID HAPPILY.

"NOT SO FAST!" SAID THE LITTLE OLD LADY. "FOR A HUNDRED GRAND I WANT TO VERIFY THINGS PERSONALLY! PLEASE DROP YOUR PANTS."

THE BANK PRESIDENT IS A BIT FLUSTERED, BUT AGREES THAT IN HER POSITION HE'D WANT PROOF AS WELL, SO HE DROPS HIS PANTS. THE LITTLE OLD LADY GOES OVER TO HIM AND REACHES OUT TO FEEL THE ORGANS IN QUESTION.

"OK, YOU WIN, HERES YOUR $100,000," SAYS THE LITTLE OLD LADY, HANDING OVER A BAG OF BILLS.

AS SHE DOES SO, HER LAWYER STARTS BANGING HIS HEAD AGAINST THE WALL AND MOANING.

"WHATS WRONG WITH HIM?" ASKS THE BANK PRESIDENT.

"OH, HE'S JUST UPSET. POOR LOSER IF YOU ASK ME.

YOU SEE, I HAD A BET FOR $1,000,000 WITH HIM THAT I WOULD HAVE THE PRESIDENT OF THE FIRST BANK BY THE BALLS BY NOON TODAY."

funi,
how come it took 2 years to complete

Hahaha

1,000,000
Nice joke

Old sha. https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-13747.0.html

Another Old lady joke:


A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a £20 note falls out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, “Ma’am, there are £20 notes falling out of your bag.”

“Oh, really? Darn!” says the little old lady. “I’d better go back, and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me, ”

“Well, now, not so fast,” says the cop. “How did you get all that money?” “You didn’t steal it, did you?”

“Oh, no”, says the little old lady. “You see, my back yard is right next to the football stadium parking. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his thing through the fence, I say, “£20 or off it comes.”

“Well, that seems only fair.” laughs the cop. “OK? Good luck! Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?”

“Well, you know”, says the little old lady, “not everybody pays.”

hmmm

d woman na savage

yet another old ol'lady joke

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding ,



Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding .

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see, Can I see your vehicle registration papers please .

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too!!!!


Don't Mess With Old Ladies

Roflmao, lee-sir well done

Old ladies.