“ENEMY OF PROGRESS”
There is one reoccurring term that has become a national anthem in our day to day life. I find the application of this term deceptive and misleading; however, I do not doubt or dispute the genuity of this cliché, but rather, I find its use and application derogatory and hypocritical. What pains me most is the fact that: the orchestrator’s and master- minders of act that militates to the use of this term seem to be the regular patronizers of this term. Sometimes, one would only but wonder why the lion would kill the antelope, and claim that the antelope’s brutality is the reason for his misfortune. Some individuals might find my article opprobrious, but, that does not erase the realistic existentiality of my article.
It was this cold breezy morning, I was still in a state of unconscious deludism; when suddenly I was interrupted by the ravaging sound of Mr. Jumbo’s stereo set: “tile tile make I nak u akpako” the song explosively jingled from his room…it became an addictive habit for jumbo to welcome us to the wee hours of every new day with his favorite music track: akpako by terry g. When we first noticed this nuiscanic attitude, we all felt the music was played in error; but it became very obvious to us that we were wrong after all-Mr. jumbo even escalated our frustrated state by playing his favorite song, when everyone was deep asleep. Mrs. Kush kush became soo infuriated by her neighbor’s disturbing attitude, and then reported him to the landlord. The landlord made it very clear to her that he had no business meddling with the affairs of his tenant…Mrs. Kush kush had even threatened to sue Mr. jumbo to court: “I don call my brother for London tell am everything wey this mumu man dey do us for this compound , him come tell me say make I sue am for public disturbance” she whispered to mama kufre-inquisitive mama kufre needed to clear her doubt: “your brother dey obodo oyibo?” she exclaimed, “yes now!” with expression of disbelief on mama kufre’s face she said, “but you no tel me now? Ok wetin he dey do for there?” Mrs. Kush kush angrily retorted: “he dey go school ,he say he dey study zoology and when him come back to Nigeria he go become judge.”
Mr. Jumbo’s dj-ric attitude had a positive impact on my daily schedule; I need not set my alarm to be alerted that it was morning. After a horrific interruption by Mr. jumbo’s philanthropic gesture, I lackadaisically stood up from my bed, acting like I needed some assistance to stand erect…I eventually got my both foot on the ground and raised my both hands up, forming a v shape, and then twisting my neck to the left and right position…there was great need to indulge in little exercise to ease off my body state. After I was through, I calmly walked to the parlor and switched on the control box of my electrical appliances. When I had successfully powered my television set, I tuned my TV set to Amala broadcasting network. Immediately my attention was caught by the news headline: “INDICTED MINISTER, JUSTICE HONOURABLE SENATOR GOVERNOR PRESIDENT PDP, FOUND GUILT FOR THE EMBEZZLEMENT OF 1.2 THRILLION NAIRA FROM THE NATIONS TRESUERY, BUT WILL BE RELEASED ON BAIL.”
It was on the first of August 2012, the members of “Rock of ages carpenter Apostolic salvation church had all converge at their Abuja headquarter to have their usual Sunday service; People from different works of life had graced this occasion to support the church in their ongoing project. The service started by 9am with the opening prayer, followed by other stipulated programs. The period the whole congregation had been waiting for eventually came, and when it came, the congregation had already spent two hours in the church. “My dear brothers and sisters, today is the day we all have been waiting for; the day God has decided to escalate and carter pot us to a position we never expected; the day God has decided to remove every “enemy of progress” from your life; the day God destined to destroy all the negative forces conglomerating against your success…but note: it comes with a price” the Yoruba accented charismatic preacher, holy ghost minister Mush Mush prophesied. As usual the reaction of the congregation was very lifting and high spirited: some individuals were jumping, while others were moving their head and shouting as if they have been inebriated by alcohol. “ You have to give to God generously without restrain…my life has been a reflection of Gods blessing, and that is why I always tell people: what I gave, I have; what I spent I had; what I kept , I lost” holy ghost minister Mush Mush proclaimed. “ If you want the ministration of God to manifest in your life, quickly come out now and give to God generously” he said. Immediately, large number of people flocked out as if they were waiting to board an air bound flight.
At the front line stood a heavily built man, putting on a “na my money” caftan…his body make up looked soo rich: his cheek was as big as his head. He possessed a very big pot belly, the kind I would liken to that of an elephant. The microphone was eventually handed to the man, by holy ghost minister Mush Mush…with the mic glued to the man’s mouth, he looked around the church building as if he was searching for someone, and then shouted “ pleaseeee da rod” and the congregation responded “ alleluia” with great expression of vigor on his face, he shouted again “ plaiseeee plaisee plaise da rod” and the congregation followed suit “ ahhh ahhh alleluia”….the man then moved a little bit with some form of gait and eventually spoke up: “ God has bressed me soo massively, he has given me the best cars and the best people to work around me, and spur me to greatness. I don’t rack anything I need because, God has been their for me; he has also stood by me during this trying time…for that, I have lessolve to elect a gigantic church worth one billion dollars; the biggest ever in the histoly of this country” before he could finish, the church was enveloped with explosive shout of joy-the pastors were all jumping like little children hoping to get hold of the unseen. The euphoric state of the church is one that I lack words to express. The congregation couldn’t just contain their joy. “ But I have one problem” he said. “ some ‘enemy of progress’ are fighting to see that I fall; they are working soo hard to see that me and my friends do not succeed.” The whole church was immediately wrapped with silence and tranquility, as a result of his last statement…for me the reverse was the case: I was still in a hysterical state, when suddenly it beckoned on me that the donor was familiar after all; I strained my eyes to be sure of this sudden excruciating revelation. He was no other person than : minister justice honorable senator governor president PDP, who had just been found guilt for the embezzlement of 1.2 trillion naira from the countries treasury. I felt a great rancor running through my blood spine. I was immediately galvanized by a rebelic feeling…I couldn’t control my state; I became absolutely obsequisive to this feeling…I just felt like walking to the podium where the man whose forceful incursion into power had yielded no positive fruit, and give him a resounding slap; but this conception was too big for me to carry: I felt a slight feeling of quail running through my body, but it made no difference, because I had resolved to do something emphatic to curtail the quagmatic direction this beast was leading us to.
Minister, justice honorable senator governor president PDP seemed to be in a state of Trans; he was heavily prepared to make sure that all the “enemy of progress” orchestrating his down fall, be expelled today-he began to move his head up down, up down; clasping his both hands together, and kicking the empty air with his both legs “ I want you all to stand up this day, and join me to rebuke all the “enemy of progress” working against my down fall…he had barely completed his statement, when I scurred forward, snatched a microphone from one of the usher, and explosively shouted: “SHOT UP YOU FOOLISH OLD POLITICIAN THIEF.”
By
Diyoke, Samuel peter
Email:samdiyoke@gmail.com