Oluwafunmilayo95: Funny you...
So wetin happen nah..abi gist don finish?

I am happy to make u happy!
No vex again ya!

omiobo: . A landlady was caught when burying a dead black fowl among her fowls. Since then,she has been named witch.

tchidi: U buried a white fowl on new year?!
*reading 3million different interpretations to it*
Nice one Friend...

Dem go just talk say we dey do JUJU!!

sholay2011: Lolz...nice one. But pls complete it. Did ur evil smile result into evil actns?

Wetin u think/

Redmosquito: ************************
We came back from church yesternight. We came back to meet our big fat white broiler dead.

Redmosquito:
Chai! I wan cry when I see am. And then it had to be carried to the back of the fence, on the outside, to be buried.
"Oya bury it fast! Dont let people see us and start talking rubbish!", my mother said, visibly agitated at the thought of being seen in the midnight burying a white chicken.
"Then let us keep it in the cage and bury it in the morning", my father suggested
"No ooo! We cannot leave a dead animal in the house na!", I retort,

Redmosquito:
"Dont say that! Just dig faster and put the chicken quickly!", she says hastily, we can already hear voices at the other end of the street, church returnees.
Cheek! Cheeek!!
Red earth gives way as the black shovel ectomizes it every now and then.
The voices are getting louder, we can already see the dim glow of their flashlight, swinging from side to side with their gait.

Redmosquito: **
"That is deep enough. Oya put it inside!", my mother said rather fearfully
"But it is not yet......."
"Just put it jare. Dont let people meet us here!", my mother cut in.

Redmosquito: **
I drop the bird into the rather shallow grave. Its neck is above the ground, I twist it here and there with the shovel and then I cover it with the excavated dust.

Redmosquito:
We bury it in time, we were not seen by anybody, at least we didnt observe ourselves being seen.

Consider review. 'Tinted' is a visual/tactile. Try using audio, like 'laced', 'tinged' etc
[quote author=Redmosquito]
Meeeheeheee!
A goat bleats happily in the street, just infront of the gate. The whole family rushes back to the gate and pull it open to see our neighbour's goat. Standing there and bleating joyously, obviously happy to be alive to witness the new year.
I smile a evil smile, an infectious evil smile. The rest of the family smiles with me, we exchange glances of maleficience, a glitter of evil in our eyes and then we turn our gaze back to the giddy fat goat, the evil smile brightens and lengthens.

Redmosquito: ************************
We came back from church yesternight. We came back to meet our big fat white broiler dead.

Chai! I wan cry when I see am. And then it had to be carried to the back of the fence, on the outside, to be buried.

"Oya bury it fast! Dont let people see us and start talking rubbish!", my mother said, visibly agitated at the thought of being seen in the midnight burying a white chicken.

"Then let us keep it in the cage and bury it in the morning", my father suggested
. "No ooo! We cannot leave a dead animal in the house na!", I retort, "Who even cares who sees us? It is their mouth jare!"

"Dont say that! Just dig faster and put the chicken quickly!", she says hastily, we can already hear voices at the other end of the street, church returnees.

Cheek! Cheeek!!

Red earth gives way as the black shovel ectomizes it every now and then.
The voices are getting louder, we can already see the dim glow of their flashlight, swinging from side to side with their gait.

"That is deep enough. Oya put it inside!", my mother said rather fearfully

"But it is not yet......."

"Just put it jare. Dont let people meet us here!", my mother cut in.

I drop the bird into the rather shallow grave. Its neck is above the ground, I twist it here and there with the shovel and then I cover it with the excavated dust. Dust to dust, is that not so?

We bury it in time, we were not seen by anybody, at least we didnt observe ourselves being seen.

"So what will we eat tomorrow?", my father said as we closed the gate and walked back into the compound, his voice tinted with a bit of sadness.

Meeeheeheee!

A goat bleats happily in the street, just infront of the gate. The whole family rushes back to the gate and pull it open to see our neighbour's goat. Standing there and bleating joyously, obviously happy to be alive to witness the new year.

I smile a evil smile, an infectious evil smile...

The rest of the family smiles with me, we exchange glances of maleficience, a glitter of evil in our eyes and then we turn our gaze back to the giddy fat goat, the evil smile brightens and lengthens.

Ishilove:
I put a full stop in the sentence. It reads better for effect.

You switched to present tense when you began with past tense. When writing, we should stick to particular style per section. If you want to use past tense, stick to past tense throughout, if present, then stick to present. Don't mix them up because it doesn't read nice.

Niggi, never heard of paragraphs??


Past tense here...

Present tense narration here...you see what I mean? It's not smooth...

A mixture of the both here...

***falls down and dies***
**Only a kiss of life can awaken me***

Ishilove:
What do you think? Please make corrections where you deem necessary.

Haa! Well I have to admit! It does look nicer now!

Redmosquito:

***falls down and dies***
**Only a kiss of life can awaken me***

Redmosquito:

***falls down and dies***
**Only a kiss of life can awaken me***

Redmosquito: But I agree with the tense suggestion, I have been having tense issues since african nerd. I will try harder next time........
**Wipes away sweat**

Foxy_Rebirth:

**Kicks him hard in his groin**

You don wake up

**Bites his ehen**

Ishilove:
Stomping on your red asss will have to suffice

Ishilove:
Watch where you pour that sweat...

***Pours it in cup and offers it to her to drink***