Gbemiie:

You behave very matured that why

I hope you aren't being sarcastic now are you?
Haa..

Drisklef...nice work so far. I wil attend 2 ur mentions vry soon hun

DRISKLEF:

I hope you aren't being sarcastic now are you?
Haa..

llol. No man. like heck i dnt even knw what u talkn about

DRISKLEF:


Haaa... Hope you do enough justice to that battle yo.

One advice, perfect your rhymes to the fullest and I'd personally suck whatever diick to get you that win.

Lol,why did you have to ruin it with the last sentence? Now I'm gonna start avoiding you

DRISKLEF:
Invade his house with the mask on me/
I spray the gats till he starts falling/

whiz10:
Then Blow his knees like a fan sprawling/

Remove his teeth as he starts pleading/

DRISKLEF:
Note that a mini story/sentence must be built aroound some of these ie. The final line



(thehaymaker)/ cc gbemiiie

oh nice......uhhhmmm. Writers block. bet lemme try.nor mock me and i go recycle..

Invade his house with the mask on me/
I spray the gats till he starts falling/
he will get a 'cold feat' when i 'blow his kneels' like a fan sprawling/ and since he claims he badt and shiit,
i brought enough firearm to make him die from the mil like it's rat poisoning!/

DRISKLEF:


Lol. Remember you'll have to built a mini story around them for it to make sense.

I know you're on RG fb rap group. I'm not suprised you know about Cans, gats et all.

i av tried what i could do. Scroll up and rate.


Yea i am in the group but pretty a silence member though. How did yu know that?

My knowledge about all these text ish is quite limited trust me. I find it lame as well. Though sometimes i'll just find myself trowling and passing away time. Why are you silent on there?

MrKang:
Lol,why did you have to ruin it with the last sentence? Now I'm gonna start avoiding you


Remove his teeth as he starts pleading/

Ha.. Dat ll be too extreme na.

Gbemiie:

llol. No man. like heck i dnt even knw what u talkn about

Kai.. Continue.

Gbemiie:


oh nice......uhhhmmm. Writers block. bet lemme try. nor mock me and i go recycle..

Invade his house with the mask on me/
I spray the gats till he starts falling/
he will get a 'cold feat' when i 'blow his kneels' like a fan sprawling/ and since he claims he badt and shiit,
i brought enough firearm to make him die by the mil like it's rat poisoning!/

LOLin

...

DRISKLEF:

Kai.. Continue.

hmmm.. llol

MrKang:
Lol,why did you have to ruin it with the last sentence? Now I'm gonna start avoiding you


Remove his teeth as he starts pleading/

till he starts, till he starts.

It doesn't work that way. When rhyming, avoid archaic repetitions such as that.
Even i had to para-phrase whiz10 's eight syllables in order to make it more suiting. Check it out.

Gbemiie:


i av tried what i could do. Scroll up and rate.

I saw what you did there and to be honest, it was suiting. 3/10 ie. For recycling

Gbemiie:

Yea i am in the group but pretty a silence member though. How did yu know that?

My knowledge about all these text ish is quite limited trust me. I find it lame as well. Though sometimes i'll just find myself trowling and passing away time. Why are you silent on there?

Don't worry about how i got to know. I'm just sly like that.

Am i silent? Maybe ya. And maybe nah.

Gbemiie:


llol.. Cant wait, i tell you.
Tally must rap for me.

Btw, when is the final match of the noobs tourney. It's lingering too long.

Told y'all I love battling dudes,

Hydrog3n:
with Feed--in--bottle i keep hitting /Now thats the definition of baby sitting

Guy go rest. Church service don drain your body.

Gbemiie:


Ha.. Dat ll be too extreme na.

that's the point,the set-up is all about passing the notion to the readers that you're a heartless badass motherfocka, that was to place more emphasis on that

DRISKLEF:

till he starts, till he starts.
It doesn't work that way. When rhyming, avoid archaic repetitions such as that.
Even i had to para-phrase whiz10 's eight syllables in order to make it more suiting. Check it out.

Lol,that was conscious,trust me I try to avoid archaic repetitions in my writtens,but also I try to make my set-ups more engaging( more emphasis on my set-up is my shtick,it makes my punch land harder) and it just felt right that in a situation like that when the dude is not fighting back then he's doing the next best thing ,begging for his life like a biitch . Ok looking at it ,I think this might have been better

"Remove his teeth as the fam's pleading/"

My point is,if it doesn't ruin the flow / concept of the set-up and also includes an intriguing factor to the set-up,then to me archaic repetitions are permitted,at least way preferable than falling out of point,losing the readers.

Paayne why are you in a hurry to die?

8pm is close,chill till then. 8pm has been the deal of the tourney, why don't we respect that aii?

MrKang:
Paayne why are you in a hurry to die?

8pm is close,chill till then. 8pm has been the deal of the tourney, why don't we respect that aii?

Wah evs mahn.
buh someone z gotta die between me nd u.

Paayne:

Wah evs mahn. buh someone z gotta die between me nd u.

Nigga that's the deal. Don't worry,you shall be welcomed gracefully in Valhalla.

blessedmarshal:
Told y'all I love battling dudes,

kul den... Whose head do you want first?

Ho ho ho

Gbemiie:
Ho ho ho

Hey,my battle with Payne is live,you could go feast your eyes

Judges should be tagged asap

Geoxpress:
Even in vocals....... Example from M.I
"She be twisting up my head lik a jerry curl"
"DJ khaled never jam we the best here!!"

Where are these guys? COME BACK!!!!!!!!!

Gbemiie:

kul den... Whose head do you want first?

Anybody

MrKang:
Nigga that's the deal. Don't worry,you shall be welcomed gracefully in Valhalla.

Thumbs up. youv won.

Paayne:


Thumbs up. youv won.

Ya but don't die on us just yet,you tried though,just keep doing what you're doing.

Its just that the spirit of vengeance for what you did to Drisklef and Blessedmarshal came upon me .