My worst nightmare became a reality today. I hv heard other ppls stories bt neva imagined it wld happn to me. This is my story:
Ever since I told my mum abt my man & his intentions to come & c dem abt us gettin married, she has bn indifferent.....because of his tribe. (I am from d north & he niger delta). All she does is site examples of how 'northern' women marry 4rm the south/south east & hv it bad in their marriages due to 'culture'. (But hey, it cnt b all rosey cn it?). She categorically said she doesn't approve of us being 2gether because of their concerns as 'parents'. At that point, i cldnt hold bk d tears because it broke my hrt 2hear her say dat. Wen she noticed i was teary eyed, she said ' is that why u're cryin? Dt i shd rather pray to God dt f it is 'His will', He shd gv them (my parents) a sign. Seriously? I was enraged wen she said she has a man 4me in mind & dt if its 'Gods will' he shd approach me. That was d worst of it.
I really am lost, hrt broken & don't know wat to do, that's why i need advice 4rm u all. Is there anyone dt has gone thru such opposition 4rm 'parents'? How did u handle it? Thnks for ur time.

How old are you? How long is the relationship? Listen to your parents.. they will always want the best for you...

To be honest- there're so many challenges in inter-tribal marriage
.... If time is on your side and you're not desperate for marriage ASAP... I'd say wait and the best will come your way.... from moi experience. Good luck.

Thnks jidegirl. I am 26 & we are 2yrs + 2gether, & evn if i was older, i wldnt b desperate to get married. I understand the challenges involved in inter tribal marriages, all i ask is 4them to support & c ds differently.

Mine is inter racial and am doing great! I no dey for all this marry from the same tribe blah blah blah! A marriage that is blessed with love and happiness is all that matters.

One of my old school friend married from same tribe, husband dey Canada de find green card, she dey Naija with 2 children dey wait for almost 6 yr if not more.

You are an adult and should know what's best for you! Maybe you go wait for one alhaji to come make you 3 rd wife.

Up to you! What you want and stick to your decision.

C'est moi !

Not 'readable'!
Yahoo-yahoo lingo allergies!

@Vikin... how's your friend's ordeal compared to OP's case here? Inter-racial is another story too , not similar to Nigerian inter tribal marriage that's full of hate and agony...full of condescending in laws and backstabber ... most Nigerian-inter-tribal marriages are as a result of last resort....

By the way I prefer another race than another tribe ... I've seen many many inter-racial marriage, (30years and still counting) ... So I'm happy for you.

jidegirl12: @Vikin... how's your friend's ordeal compared to OP's case here? Inter-racial is another story too , not similar to Nigerian inter tribal marriage that's full of hate and agony...full of condescending in laws and backstabber ... most Nigerian-inter-tribal marriages are as a result of last resort....

By the way I prefer another race than another tribe ... I've seen many many inter-racial marriage, (30years and still counting) ... So I'm happy for you.

Since the mother wants her to marry from the same tribe...what I meant was that, it's not by marrying from same tribe, it's all about the love and respect you have for yourself.

It wouldn't be any different for me if it was inter tribal.. I will handle my marriage the best of my ability.

This my own it's even with different languages....

As for the inlaws...they treat you the way you treat yourself....she is 26 for Gods sake and not less than 18 yrs.

This life is short for me to endure marriage because my parents wants the best for me, meanwhile my heart is somewhere else.

ivee22: Thnks jidegirl. I am 26 & we are 2yrs + 2gether, & evn if i was older, i wldnt b desperate to get married. I understand the challenges involved in inter tribal marriages, all i ask is 4them to support & c ds differently.

So you saying you just introduced him to mum now in course of 2yrs? Or you just brushed off mum's advice and continued the relationship anyways?...

Hell they'll eventually support you if that's what you want but don't go crying back to momma if you start having problems.... yeah all marriage has its ups & downs ... better with people you understand . It's your life sis.. I wish you best of luck.

Why do people waste so much time in relationships before they tell their parents who they are dating? Always been cOol with my parents and we talk about everything. So never wasted time. My parents sef will be trying to help me plot the downfall of a relationship if I was tired of it. . As soon as you start dating someone, tell them. So the thing doesn't go too far if you know their approval is important to you, and they won't give it.

Baby we just had the same discussion not too long ago eh?..... Parents blessing are very important but I guess thats now archaic . keep them in the loop simple.

Vikin: Mine is inter racial and am doing great! I no dey for all this marry from the same tribe blah blah blah! A marriage that is blessed with love and happiness is all that matters.

One of my old school friend married from same tribe, husband dey Canada de find green card, she dey Naija with 2 children dey wait for almost 6 yr if not more.

You are an adult and should know what's best for you! Maybe you go wait for one alhaji to come make you 3 rd wife.

Up to you! What you want and stick to your decision.

C'est moi !

Looool.the alhaji part got me laffin. Thnks for ur input

jidegirl12: Baby we just had the same discussion not too long ago eh?..... Parents blessing are very important but I guess thats now archaic . keep them in the loop simple.

Parents blessings are very important, i cldnt agree less. Just outta curiosity, hw do you relate 'getting parents blessings' with 'doin wot U want & going 'against' them'? Or does one jus sit and wait til 'approval' is gotten

baby_123: Why do people waste so much time in relationships before they tell their parents who they are dating? Always been cOol with my parents and we talk about everything. So never wasted time. My parents sef will be trying to help me plot the downfall of a relationship if I was tired of it. . As soon as you start dating someone, tell them. So the thing doesn't go too far if you know their approval is important to you, and they won't give it.

'waste' too much time? I see it as 'tryin to knw ur partner'. & i didn't just wait now to tel them. They were aware of our datin & it seemed cool then, bt nw dt its gotten to marriage, it bcomes an 'issue'. Good for you dt you got alibi in ur parents.

ivee22:

Parents blessings are very important, i cldnt agree less. Just outta curiosity, hw do you relate 'getting parents blessings' with 'doin wot U want & going 'against' them'? Or does one jus sit and wait til 'approval' is gotten

Noo wait till approval kę ?...

Truth hurts dear... you can't get them to do what they think is not safe/right for you! But they will play along with you to support you......I already said last thing is go ahead and do what you want.... they will have no choice but to accept eventually.

Use short-cuts/blackmail...
Get pregnant ot threaten to kill yourself if they won't let you.At some point,they'd have no choice but to let you have your way...but do not say they didn't warn you!!
All marriages have their challenges but inter-tribal marriages have more especially when parents are not fully supportive.

slimyem: Use short-cuts/blackmail...
Get pregnant ot threaten to kill yourself if they won't let you.At some point,they'd have no choice but to let you have your way...but do not say they didn't warn you!!
All marriages have their challenges but inter-tribal marriages have more especially when parents are not fully supportive.

@ short-cuts/blackmail.
Advice noted. Thnks

what's the problem?


if you insist, then go ahead.

its up to you.

Prove yourself to your parent that you chose wisely and rightly.
Let your man also prove to your pple that he is from good home, regardless of whatever they have against his tribe.
Finally, let your parents approve of your marriage with him b4 going ahead in order to get their blessings and perhaps for unpredictables in d future.
May God help us all.

^^ Amen & thnks