In Nigeria it's very common among the Yorubas . . . or maybe we should say Lagos. It's very rare among the Hausas and occasionally among the Ibos

Lagos market women, bus conductors, agberos use it as greetings. sad.

A lot of people in Nigeria don't know many things that happen abroad. They assume that no bad thing happens abroad and that everything bad is Nigerian

that's true and not only nigeria but everywhere else. everyone doen't really know what goes on in other places until they actually visit the place and see for themselves.

Check out posts on Nairaland and see one that did not end up with verbal abuse. These are people who are not seeing each other, who may never even see each other. You ask for advise which some people might find not reasonable and instead of just moving to another thread they start insults and abuse. May be its just part of people.

yes

@EloSela
The fact that social laws are not in place in Nigeria is the real the issue here. People can run riot and do what the hell they want, practically getting away with murder because of the lack of such laws.

I totally disagree with you on the facts that social laws are not available in Nigeria and i stronglly believe the learned lawyers in nigeria will prove you WRONG.
Thier are social laws in Nigeria but the problems is that the government agency to enhance and see to effectiveness of such and relatives laws are [i]deep in curruption .[b]
a practical example is one ex inspector general of police that was disgracefully removed during OBJ last tenure.
Also poor enlightment education programme in all tiers of academic learning in Nigeria constituted into this abusive mess in our society.

@ Londoner
There are numerous records of policemen beating and killing people in UK and US, they are rarely prosecuted for it, they usually go through the motions to look like they are doing something about it.
I PRAY TO THE LORD JESUS THAT YOU OR NON OF YOUR RELATIVES EVER EXPERIENCE THE FRUSTRATION IN THE EYES OF NIGERIA POLICE (WHETHER YOU ON YOUR RIGHT OR NOT)Imagine a police officer resume work in a conjested traffic junction from 7am and close 6pm, in the quest of doing this tedious hours services,they have access to popular pure water with roasted plantain (boli)and groundnuts "AS LUNCH" or a poor paid patrol policemen can do anything to get illegitimate money to meet thier home and social needs.
@greegg2
In Nigeria it's very common among the Yorubas . . . or maybe we should say Lagos. It's very rare among the Hausas and occasionally among the Ibos

Lagos market women, bus conductors, agberos use it as greetings. sad.
Is not a true say and dont be ethnic bias. Abusive words is all part of our nature i.e in high and low of our living system and urgent measure to lower the state of abuse in our environment should be our concern.
OURS IS WORST COMPARE TO WESTERN WORLD IN LINE WITH RULES OF LAW AND EFFECTIVENESS. I CHALLENGE ANY ONE THAT SAID WESTERNERS ARE MORE ABUSIVE.

People all around the world can be abusive, it really depends on the person. However, to answer your question, yes it is part of our culture. Culture is said to be a way of life and it has become so, especially in Lagos. If you look at Lagos say 20 years ago, the level of abuse people directed at each other was nowhere near what it is today. Without going into politics, there was a lot of influence from that angle, spurred on by the oppression that came with the poverty divide. The air of oppression, frustration and wealth (at the other end of the scale), coupled with lack of quality education for the majority, gradually caused the consciousness of social decency and civil awareness to fade. It is something that has happened over time and is going to take time to  correct. I understand the examples given regarding the UK, but the big difference compared to places like that is that there is a consciousness of a minimum level of public and social civil behaviour. That's why it's noticed when people misbehave. Over here, it's considered 'normal'. I see it everyday and I'm sick of it. From jumping queues to flexing of 'status' muscles, it's all very annoying.

I don't know why people want to pretend that abuse is not widely accepted in Nigeria. Not everything is perfect in other countries and saying that the original poster is implying that other places do not have even one case of abuse is ridiculous. We all know what she means and I agree with her. Nigerians are very abusive and it is culturally accepted. The families who choose not to carry on that culture are the exception not the rule.

Just the other day, I was talking to a good friend and she was telling me that her mom who is not cruel (intentionally anyway) was potty training her grandson and she said that her mom beat this boy everyday until he got it right. I am sure that she did not feel like she was being abusive. It is accepted to be physically, verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive. I am happy though that families are choosing to stop this evil cycle.

A mother could beat her child black and blue and people will say "oh that's her child, she will not kill him". The day I will disagree with the original poster is the day that I see laws that are being enforced that say that if a parent assaults thier child they will get jail time or if a man dies, his family will not leave his wife and children in agony because the mans brother came in and took every piece of property the man has.

The sooner we start to be truthful about our issues the quicker we can fix them

@ outstrip
thanks 4 voicing out the truth.
@ subice
Over here, it's considered 'normal'. I see it everyday and I'm sick of it.
pls dont be sick about it rather join responsible Nigerians to educate and correct peoples that indulge in such abusive and uncivil manner of living.

londoner
how will u compare the bad abusive words in U.K BUSES/CAB/STREETS/PUB/CLUB/
SCHOOLS/HOMES/METROPOLITAN POLICE BASE/LEGISLATIVE HOUSE to mention e.t.c
with Nigeria decayed abusive culture.
I will advice you to carry out a comparative anaylsis study of Nigeria
BUSES/CAB/STREETS/PUB/CLUB/SCHOOLS/HOMES/
NIGERIA POLICE FORCE STATIONS/LEGISLATIVE HOUSE to mention few.

Abuse is something you will have in every continent, in every country to a certain extent. That said, I have never ever heard so much abuse in my life as here in Lagos. The worst part of it all is that people often seem to accept it. Especially if the person who is saying the abuse is of a better/richer background. They are in my opinion even the worst. I have seen ppl. on the golf course treat caddies as if they are worth nothing. The caddies just smile back. I am sorry but I have never ever seen that. How can you treat people like that? Most of the time that are the people with the better education, so they claim to be. It is really appalling. So I am not sure that it only has to do with better education.

Maybe it is something of the colonial past of Nigeria? This is just an assumption. Or is it just a general disregard for life?

What some other members were saying that Nigeria/Nigerians try to copy everything of the white men. I wish it was true. Look at a lot of Asian countries like Japan, Korea. They copied and see how far it brought them. You cannot say that of Nigeria of Africa at all. There is nothing wrong with copying as long as you copy the right things, do it correctly and make it your own. All in all we can learn from each other can't we?

@Deji1010

I don't believe that there are such laws in Nigeria in regards to social courtesy and decency. However if you can find any details please post some links.

This is a country where one can at times come across a dead body laying in the road with everyone walking around it, minding their own business.

Also, do you remember the case of the Nigerian female Senator who was slapped by one of her mail colleagues in Congress? This colleague was only suspended for two weeks apparently and this was only after a huge uproar by some of the more enlightened women in Nigeria. The fact that this man even felt that he could do that openly speaks volumes about the society itself.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/3759632.stm

Raining abusive words is a general phenomenon which is part of the western people of Nigeria and Hausa in particular who see's it as a common way of life.

Abusive languages is also dominant in places like America where they also take it as a way of life don't know much about the UK but they act too artificial and that is to say they have a whole lot to protect but drawing analysis from their very way of life they can also use abusive languages like,

U may ask the Queen

Deji, if you look at how the discussion progressed, I was specifically asked by the poster to tell the abusive words that are used on public transport in the UK, thats why I included it.

London has the reputation of being a very rude city, originally the discussion was about abusive culture, not simply policemen abusing members of the public.
Anyhoo, I also think it unfair to paint the whole country according to common experiences in certain cities(ie Lagos etc), what about places like Jos, Calabar etc, there are places within Nigeria where this so called abuse is also unheard of and not a part of the culture there, these places are also a part of Nigeria are they not?

Anyway, sometimes people have to agree to disagree.

@Blatant

How right u are? Even in this so called "lawfull" country (United States) that Nigerians are wanting to flock to, I have to walk out of the car with my hands up for fear of being "mistaken to have a gun", so that I won't get shot. I have to be on my best behaviour because I don't want to be fingered by some local policeman who thinks that it would be the highlight of his day to tell the story of how he fingered a black girl and tasted her.
Some of the policemen here are chauvinistic pigs.

~Lady~:

@Blatant

How right u are? Even in this so called "lawfull" country (United States) that Nigerians are wanting to flock to, I have to walk out of the car with my hands up for fear of being "mistaken to have a gun", so that I won't get shot. I have to be on my best behaviour because I don't want to be fingered by some local policeman who thinks that it would be the highlight of his day to tell the story of how he fingered a black girl and tasted her.
Some of the policemen here are chauvinistic pigs.

Tell me about it!

I happen to work a job that requires I deal with the public, the American public that is. If you see the kind of abuse that me and my co-workers have to endure everyday So much so, some people have actually quit the job because they can no longer bear the level of verbal and psycological abuse that are heaped upon them by the clients we serve. Those who try to stick it out are constantly miserble at the work place. So, abuse is something you find everywhere, some places more than others but its there, sadly.

What are u telling me
Naija people are not the only set of people that are abusive!!
It is everywhere!!!!!!!!, I would like to inquire as to where u get the assumption that other countries are not abusive.
Did u make the survey yourself or how did u get the fact that others are not abusive?

Americans are the worst!!!!!
In buses. . .Restaurants and even On CD's all u hear is F*** your momma . . poppa. . .s**k somn tah tah tah et all!
Recently ''John McCain'' the presumptive republican party nominee for President of the US cursed Castro publicly. .
You can imagine. . .

danity:

It's not even a matter of F*** your mama or what ever.
Think of the rate of child molestation nko?
Abeg - i'd rather be beaten than to be molested by some sick, depressed idiot

Thank you very much, u got ma point!

He didn't realize that Nigerians are still the happiest people on earth!
Till date!!. . . .

Abuse is part of the culture of the world. Nigerians may call names but they do not act on it. Europeans and Americans will not only abuse but kill/harm you if need be.

A friend of mine once said"we flog our children and abuse them but we don't put them in the washing machine or micro wave and turn it on when we are angry"

Black car, Sly, dainty,

god bless una. some of the people here would go to any length to ascribe any evil to nigeria. Sometimes I wonder why they bother to come to a forum of Nigerians if they despise the Nation and its Nationals so much

Worse things happen abroad but we are always keen to say we are the worst.

why u no go abuse?
abeg carry go jo

I kindly appreciate all of u been patriotic, am also a patriotic nigerian breed that love my country so much.But the truth is that the rate of daily abusive/curses with spiritual implication on individuals in nigeria is a sorry case.
I totally agreed with u all that every other part of the world associate with abusive words as well,ours is the worst.very very worst.

I think the soja mentality that we had to live with for almost 30 years (till 1999) may have done a lot of damage on our sense of being civil, corteous, considerate and respectful to others.
The Naija show of bigness is the extent to which you can break the law and get away with it. This includes how far you can "oppress" the other person.
In short, your Big Man Index (BMI) is directly proportional to your LawLessness Index (LLI). I doubt if any rigorous sociology research will not confirm such correlation.
Let's hope that with democracy, growth of genuine civil society advocacy groups,increased morality sermons from our religious organisations and our active discussions there may be positive change- Amen.

Deji, is your opinion of Nigeria's use of abusive words being the "very very worst" based on your own experience of foreign countries or merely your impression of foreign lands?

You may have a point about there being a lack of availability of legal recourse in Nigeria when compared to other places though.

londoner:

You may have a point about there being a lack of availability of legal recourse in Nigeria when compared to other places though.

There is "availability of legal recourse in Nigeria" it depends on where you live and how much you are ready to pay to get it.

Or is it free in other countries?

Blackcat:

There is "availability of legal recourse in Nigeria" it depends on where you live and how much you are ready to pay to get it.

Or is it free in other countries?

I hope you know that contracting mobile police, soldiers etc to "roughen up" your aggressor is NOT legal recourse. Rather it only aggravates our abuse of civil and law enforcement processes.

@ Topic - Abuse can never be part of a culture. It can only be part of an individual if he or she allows himself to be vulnerable. . . . this happens mostly when too much anger/stress is bottled within. I think some people use it to release internal pressure amounting to stress while gettin all worked up 4 no just reason.

As for the Bus Conductors in Lagos, it’s an addiction like heroine or Cocaine, witout which they cannot start or end the day.It's lik a communicable disease wherby u hav to b careful not to get infected

May God help us and give us all inner peace and excessive tolerance to avoid fallin prey

School yrself wel so when our Nigerian kind of Abuse comes yr way,or a foreign one 4 that matter. . . u can always jus dust it off.

Blackcat, we have legal aid, where if you cant afford to pay, then yes its free.

In short, your Big Man Index (BMI) is directly proportional to your LawLessness Index (LLI). I doubt if any rigorous sociology research will not confirm such correlation.
Let's hope that with democracy, growth of genuine civil society advocacy groups,increased morality sermons from our religious organisations and our active discussions there may be positive change- Amen.
@anonimi: Special thanks for the above comments.
@ my friend (londoner), am not been personal on this topic.

The bible tell me in Gospel Of John 8vs 32 that "ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free".To be truthful the decay system of ours constitute the mess we are experiencing in Nigeria in line with lawlessness verbally,morally as well as legal point of view.
1) A culture/system that fail to provide adequate emloyment for the people.
2) A culture/system that fail to provide unfalter electricity for the people.
3) A culture/system that fail to provide unfalter electricity for the people.
4) A culture/system that fail to provide sound health delivery for the people.
5) A culture/system that fail to provide quality education for the people.
6) A culture/system that fail to provide good roads network for the people.
7) A culture/system that fail to develop human resource.
the above and others deficency of our government usually resulted in citizenship lawlessness,unethical use of abusive words,all these borne out of frustration from the eye of the people.
Imagine the unskill people in "LAGOS BUSES/METROPOLITAN"that lack formal education or those that have formal education (degree holder inclusive)that have no JOB but take faith in riding OKADA AS A SOURCE OF LIVINGHOOD OR THE RATE AT WISH PEOPLE ARE BEEN UNJUSTIFY SACK IN COMPANIES, all these and others can bring about intolerable communication due to frustration.
Lets me take u back to ZIGGY MAMA'S VIEW.
As for the Bus Conductors in Lagos, it’s an addiction like heroine or Cocaine, witout which they cannot start or end the day.It's lik a communicable disease wherby u hav to b careful not to get infected

May God help us and give us all inner peace and excessive tolerance to avoid fallin prey

School yrself wel so when our Nigerian kind of Abuse comes yr way,or a foreign one 4 that matter. . . u can always jus dust it off.
To reduce the menace in our society, we must firstly address the system restructuring i.e enhancing human value through government meeeting human needs.
Londoner, how can we reduce abusive words in black communities?

Please please don't be fooled one second and sincerely believe that people in US, UK and France are any better abusively. They are only better at keeping their dirt hidden! Priests molesting small boys and girls, parents molesting and raping their children, people stealing other people's children, hard earned money and belongings on a whim and because of Avarice and greed! It's only in Amer I've seen black women openly refer to their female counterparts - friend and foe alike - as bitch, ho, chickenhead (basically slut of the highest order) and heifer! It's only here I've seen black men refer to themselves as nigga. Let's not even get into the kind of stuff Oyinbo people call themselves! I'm been asked if I was a fraudster or 419-ner to my face and called a c**t by Americans black and white. If that doesn't show lawlessness and lack of basic respect for human dignity I don't know what does. I'm not saying Naija is any better, hell we have armed robbers having the audacity to pillage people's houses, rape their wives and steal everything they worked for. Majority of them are never, ever caught! The entire world is sick sweetie, it's not just Naija.

It's left to us to fix our little part of the world and start being the change because as they say "charity begins at home". Not everything white or westernized is better. A lot of times, it's worse.